| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 10:30:34 AM | This is all well and good, saying that no-one should control anyone, and we are who we are , and why would anyone want to do that etc ...
But it IS a fact of life that some people - men and women - DO feel the need to control others , to get them to do their bidding ... to control some or all aspects of their partners lives ..... and there are some people who are happy to be controlled by their partners.. some dont . The term "control freak" is not mythological ........ and for those people trapped in a controlling relationship, it is the hardest thing in the world to get out of, even to the risk of physical violence .
Personally , I dont want to "control" or "be controlled by" a partner, and I do not understand those that do .
However, I think that the term " control" used by the senior ladies in the OP's post is not meant in that way ... I believe that the seniors meant it in the way of looking after their man , to give him no need to stray or seek divorce etc ...
Ogs | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 10:31:29 AM | You cannot control another person. You can only control yourself and your actions. If, in the RARE event, your partner changes for you...guess what? In the end they will end up resenting you for it. Why? Because they didn't want to change in the first place...they only did it to shut you up.
Why would you want to control your partner? There is absolutely no point in it. They have a mind of their own and will make their own choices in life. Just like you will.
That is why a lot of relationships end in the first place...because one partner tries to control the other. Relationships are about compromise. Plain and simple.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 10:37:12 AM | | I can tell you what worked for me, and not just with men but in every relationship I have: letting go of my sense of entitlement. The most amazing thing happens when you do that. Because you're not demanding, because you're not absorbing their goodies without notice because you are, after all, entitled to them, because you're not shaming them for not providing what you feel entitled to, well, they start showering you with it. The harder you try to get from someone what you want, the less you get because most people are just not going to let you control them. And letting go of this idea of 'what you deserve' doesn't mean you do without. On the contrary. It just means that others are not controlled into giving you all that abundance. They are free to provide it on their terms, in their own time and in own their style. The best way to get what you want really is to simply say what you want, honestly and clearly, without expectation, embarrasment or shame, and then stand back and wait for as long as it takes for the other person to make that idea their very own (if they want to), so they feel like it's their story line they're living and not yours. | |
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| You have got to be shitting me!
Posted: 5/24/2007 10:39:04 AM |
I have a Thread under another Topic and man said he over heard
senior womens discussion about the divorce rate and the breakups and
how men & women walk away at the drop of a hat And the one lady said
They dont know how to control there man ! Is this a reality women ?
Can we control our men ? I am open for any suggestions or wisdom
and true stories ! Are we weak & do not possess the back bone to
fight for what we Love and who we love ? Is it really that difficult
for us to give and take ?
Switch the genders in what you said. How would you feel about a man wanting to control you?
Men are not pets to be trained.
Men are not children to be controlled and do as you say.
Men are people who deserve to be treated with respect, just as a lady should be treated with respect.
But your comment, shows that you don't deserve respect because no lady would attempt or even consider trying to control her partner. And as such, I feel justified in saying that I hope I never meet you, and I feel sorry for any man who ever has or will ever meet you. | |
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| Someone Please how do I CONTROL MY MAN????
Posted: 5/24/2007 11:44:16 AM | My whole feeling on this whole forum is that noone should have to control anyone however I feel that once woman started having more freedom thats when marriage went to hell along with family life.....I miss the old days when there were families with a mom and dad and the womans role was to care for her husband and children back then there wasnt as many divorces,abortions,kids in trouble with the law....The husband had a wife to come home to and the children always had someone at home waiting for them..I give credit to same sex marriages I find thier kids are growing up with more respect and morals cause they have more love and commitment at home I find....People need to remember what is important in life.....People want freedom great but dont bother getting married and having children unless you are ready to put everything else on the back shelf and put your partner and children first you have no right having them.....
And those who dont like what I have to say too bad if you think about it you would see I am right in what I say... | |
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| Someone Please how do I CONTROL MY MAN????
Posted: 5/24/2007 11:54:35 AM | My man hardly ever complains about the hand cuffs.
I do think there is an element of "training" involved in any relationship, but it goes both ways. Control might be a bad word to describe it. | |
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| Someone Please how do I CONTROL MY MAN????
Posted: 5/24/2007 12:15:10 PM | Msg 56~yeah those were the days back then ,but we live in a whole different world nowaday's ,a relationship/marriage shouldn't have control issues ,were talking about 2 adults not children, there's no reason a couple should have to keep a close reign on their partner if there's trust and respect for each other ,women work the same as men do now days so of course were going to want the same ,is the man really the head of the household anymore? I think its 50/50 ...besides if you really love the person your with no matter what temptation come along ,if the relationships strong enough there's not going to be any of the issues the OP was speaking of.I dont want to have to work too hard at a relationship,things should just flow smoothly if 2 people are on the same page
If I have to control the guy Im in a relationship with Id just a soon not be in one. | |
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| Someone Please how do I CONTROL MY MAN????
Posted: 5/24/2007 12:19:52 PM |
Men are not pets to be trained.
Dang. Does this mean I have to take the "All Men are Animals - Some Just Make Better Pets" bumper sticker off of my car? :)
Wendy | |
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| Someone Please how do I CONTROL MY MAN????
Posted: 5/24/2007 12:21:57 PM | | Control is an illusion. If you feel the need to control someone to make them act a certain way then you have either the wrong person or issues of your own that you should deal with before drawing an innocent bystander into your uncontrolled world. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 61 | |
| Someone Please how do I CONTROL MY MAN????
Posted: 5/24/2007 12:25:11 PM | easy.....certain psychiatric medications can be obtained, crush them up and sprinkle it on his Fruit Loops.
then.....make him do tricks and act like a chicken for your frineds!!
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 12:47:54 PM | women have lost their edge these days, gone are the days of when u could find a good strong woman that knew the fine art of ever so subtly getting her man to do what she wanted hin to do,
these days if a woman can't get u to do something thats it your dumped,
you want to watch the match instead of going out with her for dinner thats it your dumped.
And as for trying to change a man i think it's down right insulting. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 1:00:26 PM | Give him a good beating 3 times a day and make him beg for his food...lol
I think this question needs to be refrazed lol
What ya mean is how can i keep my man interested, loyal and loving !
Answer...... Give the same in return ! .... if he/she wonders off after that then they aint worthy of you anyway .
JAZZY J  | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 1:17:33 PM | My mother always says:
The problem with people and relationships is that they think that it is 50/50. In reality for the relationship to be successful you both have to give 150%. Everything you can and then more. Will it ever be even - absolutley not. But if you both give all you can and more then if you are well matched it will all work out in the wash. Sometimes one partner will be contributiing more because they are able to and then circumstances will change. It is about being supportive when you are the one that can give more so the other one does not feel as if they are giving less.
I agree whole heartedly. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 1:46:22 PM | ::smirks:: I was sitting reading this opening and though. Okay, yeah right. But then my depth comes into play. I always have been a deep thinker. What if it was true of our Older Generation, Women knew the secret?
All Women worked together. When my grandpa was a lad women didn't even wear their dresses over their ankles. They'd pull up their dresses and tie them to keep them clean while working in fields even.
You also looked at a world where sex wasn't common. Now day all a man has to do is drop by his local club. He finds some Sexually driven woman looking for a great time and away he goes.
Back then when a woman said you sleep on the couch it meant no sex until you made her happy again. Now days all you gotta do is go out. There is bound to be a S.... somewhere to spread them for you.
Back then marriage meant two people. Now days marriage includes 2 people and a dozen friends you bring in with you.
Sex before marriage is a myth.
But what if? What IF? All of these did not exist? They man finds the only way he can get sex is to marry another woman. Well he already has one wife, what is point in making it 2?
So the reason you can't control your man is because other women stopped helping you. Back then women worked together. Now days half has their legs spread and the other half is looking for the men who aren't into sex before marriage. Or at least until love for some of you.
I will probably make a lot of people angry, but women control the sex. If you say no and they take it, its a Felony. If women could control themselves, they would once again control men.
Men would once more have to be gentlemen and work to get into their nickers. Old word.
But in todays society, Only control you have is over your own bodies, your lawyers and your children. Teach your kids right and maybe one day the good people can reclaim Faithful Companionship.
Now I'll run for cover before someone beans me with a pipe. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:37:41 PM | I will not throw a pipe at you as I some what agree with you.
Yes... back when my mom got married 50 years ago it was a different world.
Sex was not available everywhere that men turned. They had a choice get along with the wife and then she will be happy and he will get some or do without.
Now if a man is not happy with the sex life at home he can very easily find someone that will make him happy.
Now is this all the fault of the women....NO
This is where I disagree with you. It is the fault of a society where everything is disposible. Including love...fidelity...integrity...trust...marriages...children and the list goes on into infinity. Society is made up of both genders and so we have an equal part in the society that we have created.
And yes if we take the time to teach our children a different way then maybe things will be a little like they used to be. And in my opinion a little of the old would not be a bad thing. A world where a friend is a friend...where children are valued by all...where love is something that is truely treasured...where people think a little harder about getting married and work harder once they are to stay married. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:08:39 PM | I am with everyone else on this one; why would u want to control and/or change your man? If this is the case, the man you met and fell in "love" with couldn't have been what you trully wanted or you wouldn't want to change him. I want someone to be their own person. I have a life and he should have one too; one of his own not one that I make for him..
I wouldn't want to be controlled either! It goes both ways!  | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:17:09 PM | The only person you have complete and total control over is yourself.
What people fail to realize is that when they change something about themselves, others change as a result. If you have established a behavior pattern and have a programmed response, if you break the pattern, the person can't react to you in the same manner.
If things aren't the way you'd like for them to be, your only option is to change you first and see how others change as a result of that. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 71 | |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:29:32 PM | Anyone that "thinks" they can "control" another person needs a reality check. I doubt if very many people want a "parent/child" relationship. I think most are looking for a partner, or their equal in a relationship. You can't control, you can't fix, nor can you change another person. The only person that can change is YOU! It comes down to perceptions and expectations in a relationship.
I agree that too often people walk at the drop of a hat, after all we live in a disposable world. Too often people aren't willing to compromise, they aren't willing to put 100% effort into a relationship, and the world becomes a "me, me, me", it's all about "what's in it for me" type of world. A true human will have the back bone to stand up for what they believe in, but it takes a stronger person to know when to cut your losses and walk away. Yes, there are times one must walk away (physical/emotional abuse; drugs; alcohol; etc). | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/25/2007 1:09:12 AM | It’s very easy to control a man... watch the Dog Whisperer. Rub our bellies, feed us and show some affection and your set.
Spot... | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/25/2007 5:13:23 AM | NO!!
Controlling another don't give you that satisfication, more another problem add to the heap. If the one letting the relationship down values his or her relationship then discuss your issues to your partner and hope you have a better answer than relying on them oldbags thoughts....oooops lol
Fighting for what you love is fantastic but controlling the one you love is not in the same connotation. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/25/2007 5:15:46 AM | P U S S Y AND B L O W J O B S
How in the world do you not already know this... I'm not stupid I know when I'm getting laid 3 times a day something is around the corner... | |
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