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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/26/2007 3:20:20 PM | Hang on do you really want to control him? The whole idea of a relationship is trust and honesty if that's not there wots the point. Men are sometimes like women they don't want to be controlled would you I doubt it.
If you try a control him it will drive him away and he is more likely to do something like be ing unfaithful. Remember trust enless you have reason not to then if don't then why are you with you owe to yourself to be someone honest and trustworthy. | |
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Kazot
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 103 | |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/26/2007 4:04:58 PM |
are not, in my opinion, forms of control in any sense of the word.
Really?
Maybe the issue isn't the words, it is the opinions of the words.
Any time you conciously influence anything by action or even unaction you have exerted a form of "control". The problem many people here are having is from the word "control". Control is not abuse, control is to influence, to give direction or to change the direction. We all do it every day.
Your post trying to say what you want control to mean is a form of control either to change my stance or to reaffirm your own.
A man woo's a woman that is a form of control.
A woman seduces a man that is a form of control.
As a man I will tell you that many men do not mind a woman using her womanly wiles to influence them. Yes it is a form of control but we accept it and it doesn't bother us. If you never try to influence your partner to like, enjoy or appreciate you more (all forms of control) I doubt they ever will. Why bother being with someone who isn't willing to put in the effort to improve the relationship. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/27/2007 8:42:48 AM | | You should not have to control a man. If he loves you he would do what is in your best interest. And if not a variety of wipes and chains might help...lol...just kidding. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/27/2007 8:59:48 AM | If he loves you he would do what is in your best interest
To me the key phrase of that is your best interest. Not what you want but what you need. Despite the fact that what you need isn't what you want.
Then what you want comes into play.
A loving S/O will take care of what you need before taking care of what you want. When you control someone you are caring about your needs and not theirs. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:35:54 AM | Why do you want to control your man? This is an inner feel of a person needed to be ignored when felt to do so. The adjective control pertains between a supervisor and a subordinate at a work place with emphasis at the military entity, just as the slogan "control your troops". Couple or partners in life should not even think about it. They should enjoy harmonious moments and mend some loose ends at once because we tend to disagree at times because of our different opinions in life. IF there should be controlling around in a couples life, it should be the dog or the cat or the birds or whatever pet thay have that they see to it these pets are in control that they will not cause any trouble to them or to anybody.
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:30:09 AM | | Hi Veddi, my name is John, I believe that there SHOULD NOT be any control in a relationship - in my profession the only people that are controlled are prisoners , because they have NO other choice , if any one would like to hear more of my views on this topic , they can e-mail me thru this website , Johnny D. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:43:16 AM | Main Entry: 1con·trol
Pronunciation: k&n-'trOl
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): con·trolled; con·trol·ling
Etymology: Middle English countrollen, from Anglo-French contrerouler, from contreroule copy of an account, audit, from Medieval Latin contrarotulus, from Latin contra- + Medieval Latin rotulus roll -- more at ROLL
transitive verb
1 a archaic : to check, test, or verify by evidence or experiments
b : to incorporate suitable controls in
2 a : to exercise restraining or directing influence over : REGULATE
b : to have power over : RULE
c : to reduce the incidence or severity of especially to innocuous levels
intransitive verb : to incorporate controls in an experiment or study -- used with for
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
1 a : an act or instance of controlling; also : power or authority to guide or manage
b : skill in the use of a tool, instrument, technique, or artistic medium
c : the regulation of economic activity especially by government directive -- usually used in plural
d : the ability of a baseball pitcher to control the location of a pitch within the strike zone
2 : RESTRAINT, RESERVE
3 : one that controls : as
a (1) : an experiment in which the subjects are treated as in a parallel experiment except for omission of the procedure or agent under test and which is used as a standard of comparison in judging experimental effects -- called also control experiment (2) : one (as an organism, culture, or group) that is part of a control
b : a device or mechanism used to regulate or guide the operation of a machine, apparatus, or system
c : an organization that directs a spaceflight
d : a personality or spirit believed to actuate the utterances or performances of a spiritualist medium
I think first you need to learn to Control yourself. Personally I believe Control in a relationship should be shared. No one over the other, but both taking the same course.
Ask yourself do you want someone else controling you? Do you really want the responsibility of controlling a grown man? | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:03:15 AM | Control? Who the heck would want to control somebody? If you feel that need you shouldn't be with him. Nobody shoud be controling anybody. That's not what relationships are about, it's excepting people for who and what they are. But if you really, really feel that need just get him a leash, but make sure it's a long one or it may hurt his neck when you take him for a walk.  | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:13:44 AM | | I think you're TRYING to ask how you control your relationship. You do that with love, respect, caring, support, and attraction -- GIVING it, not receiving it. Yes, giving it. No one should worrying about what they're getting in a relationship. The idea is, you give all you can, they give all they can, and you both get more than you ever wanted. So, first, fix your side, and make sure you're giving all you can (no, really: do you show him love every day, support every day, respect and caring everyday, that you're still attracted to him every day, etc.). If you've done all that, then you deserve a great relationship. If you're still not getting it, you deserve a better partner. Either way, the effort you've made will pay off. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 1:01:16 PM | give and take
compromise
love
respect
admiration
trust........................................... DOES NOT = CONTROL
be by yourself and you can have all the control you want! explains alot in this world sheese. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 3:07:37 PM | Hi Honey i'm in the mail
Why on earth do you want to control your man. No one should try to control anyone, would you like to be controlled, i bet not
The best way to keep your man happy is to make yourself so irresistable he won't want to be away from you for long, give him choices, let him be him and if you're irresistable to him he'll choose you and you don't have to control him at all, it'll be HIS CHOICE to be with you, he won't be forced or controlled in any way, he'll feel free and love you for it
Have fun | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:20:20 PM | i would say he doesn't know how to control his own temper. he is not a good risk if he walks away every time there is a fight. he should say he needs a time out to cool off and revisit it later....but he definitely shouldn't slam the door in your face. if he does that he is lower than dirt. but if you keep badgering someone about the same thing 0ver and over again...ie they just want to get rid of you and will slam the door in your face because you are the one being rude. ever get cornered by an obsessive talker??? they are hard to get rid of. and sometimes it requires you to be rude, which may not be you at all. but you do it to get back control of your time and your life.
if you sense things are getting too hot under the collar you can always suggest tabling the discussion until his head is clear again and you can have a calm discussion of the issue. without any pressure.
i wouldn't be able to build or maintain a relationship with a guy who blows me off with evasive answers, dissing me, losing his temper or discounting me or whatever, when i bring up emotional issues or ask him questions.
i don't consider it a fault in me...i consider it a fault in him. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:22:37 PM | | If someone was trying to control me I would be losing my temper and slamming the door in her face as well. I also wouldn't open it again. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:25:15 PM | have to be careful of emotional abuse and mental cruelty. its sometimes called emotionally unavailable. i think people should walk away from relationships where there is mental and emotional cruelty. i don't think they should stay.
but rereading the op, i realized these older women, senior citizens, are from a different generation and they don't see things the same way the younger generations do. their rules of life are a lot different than our generation. the rules and expectations changed in the 60's. some good, some bad. the seniors really don't know what is going on the marriages they are criticizing. and their generation is more critical of women...their generation did not have women's rights. but i don't know if their point is valid about women in the younger generations not knowing how to control men or not. maybe the things in the younger generation that women try to control are different from the things the women in the older generation tried to control. the older generation sure didn't have to worry about controlling their husband's fidelity as rampantly as women feel they must do today. | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:27:38 PM | Best answer yet though I would probably say try this; if you think you need control perhaps you are in the wrong relationship to begin with. Isn't a relationship a Cooperative-partnership? If your goals and dreams don't nearly coincide then it is probably not a relationship worth persuing.
Sorry, Just my own perception...
Herb | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:30:06 PM | Best answer yet though I would probably say try this; if you think you need control perhaps you are in the wrong relationship to begin with. Isn't a relationship a Cooperative-partnership? If your goals and dreams don't nearly coincide then it is probably not a relationship worth persuing.
Sorry, Just my own perception...
Vissetecum | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:06:01 PM | HELLO POETEES
THANK YOU !***
I was in Tears earlier regarding the war thats goin going on ! I am
guiltyof flaming Only I feel it is of importance to mankind .
I want the War to cease .
I dont know how ~ Can we as the average Joes helpto make this
happen? If so How ? I was in dispute with others and a man stated
stop buying products from china like at Walmart yea thats right
Wally world < We are financing them to get the ammo they
need to kill us ! What the hey are we doing ? I was in awe at his reply
and remark and at the same time I said Halleluah because its truth
brought to LIGHT from china products if this is the outcome !
I am in awe ! We as Americans need to not take every thing for granted !
Especially a Bargain ?? from China WOW What a NITE ???
 May god Bless Us and Protect us And Do For us What WE cannnot Do
for Our SELVES ! Forgive us Father for we know not what we do ! Please
Do for US what WE cannot Do for Our Selves IN JESUS NAME AMEN & AMEN | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:57:02 PM | well yeahhhhhhhhhhhh the best answer in this topic :)
i cant control my self several times either hahaha
oh but i like a bossy guy sometimes.. more than mr yes !
sometimes people are strange right? | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/28/2007 10:01:54 PM | My advice to you honey is don't control your man, give him freedom and choices let hom decide if you are for him. Make him want you more and more. Don't chase him this will only scare him away. Allow him to have friends and hobbies. Wait for him to call you, don't pester him with your exceeding amount of phone calls and wailing for him to be with you more and spend more time with him. Make every moment special, don't waste time dwelling on the negative, focus on the positiva and appreciate every second and time you have with him that is pleasurable. Make him happy, say the right things, What ever you do don't ****and wine and moan that hes not there for you because this will onl drive him away more. Trust me I know from experience. A man wants a hppy satisfying girlfriend not a moaning, winging **** to come home too. Make him want you more everyday and he keep his hands off you. Now thats control Honey I tell you.   | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/28/2007 11:13:40 PM | This is some crazy sh!t. My whole thing is... if a woman even succeeded in controlling her man, she probably wouldn't like it anyway. The thing about women is, they have a need to actually respect any man that they get involved with (at least most women, and at least to a certain degree). If she can boss her man around or change him, then sooner or later she might dump his @ss because he "just isn't the man she fell in love with"  | |
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| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/29/2007 9:00:30 AM | .... I guess I would have to repeat the same question that others have raised....."Why the Hell would you want to?.. Try finding a man who can control himself....life is much sweeter that way.
to the OP..In the "good old days", girls were advised by their Mothers and other female relatives to "go ahead Dear, Marry him. He is nice looking, has a good job and comes from a good family."....then it was added on...." We can 'fix' him later."
Looking at the high rate of divorce.... I'm thinking that wasn't such sound advice once we got past the "June Cleaver era" | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 125 | |
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