| |
| |
poet23
|
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 128 | |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/29/2007 2:33:23 PM | Well, from my experience, people who feel the need to control others often feel out of control in their own lives. As most on here have pointed out, you can't control someone, nor should you want to. Insecurity is the biggest cause for wanting to control someone, because if you're in control of their life, then you don't have to worry about them hurting you.
Don't worry about who you're with. Let them be who they are. Instead, try focusing on making your own life something that you love. The only person in life that you can control is yourself. | |
|
| |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/29/2007 2:53:00 PM | looking at some of the other comments, and recalling that the original post mentioned "senior women", and inferred that these "senior women" were the ones who said divorce was so prevalent because women don't know how to "control" their men...I guess I wonder what these "senior women" who knew how to control their men are doing on PoF? Barring those whose men died, it sounds like not all these "senior women" knew how to "control" their men.
But here's my take on what they meant...
Back in the day( "June Cleaver era" LOL) a wife could exert a pretty good amount of leverage on her man by having "headaches" at bedtime... and back then for someone to cheat on their spouse( for this discussion we'll say for a man to cheat on his wife) required a fair amount of work and ingenuity! And the concept of being "shamed" in the eyes of the community,if they got caught cheating, actually carried some weight. Nowadays, a woman of ANY age who thinks she can "control" her man by usng sex as a tool, is just plain foolish. With the internet, greater mobility,and the number of women who can be fooled, plus the number of women who don't CARE if the guys married(most of them thinking they can win him away from his wife,yeah right) a wife trying to control her man via sex is pretty much an exercise in futility, and if the "senior women" who are now here at PoF try those tactics on a new man in their life are going to be mightily surprised when they find out that using sex as a weapon no longer works!
Cindy O | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/29/2007 3:17:05 PM | | Why would you want to control your man? This is absurd in the worst sort of way! If love is there, control does not exist. It is only when insecurity, jealousy and the like step into the picture that people desire control. Look deep inside yourself. If you desire control you probably need to work on your self before you endeavor to begin a relationship! If, however, what you are asking is "is control necessary", I say no!! I do believe that people today do not know what it means to be 'committed' to a relationship. In the old days, women and men both knew when they got married that it would be for life. Did they all live happily ever after? I doubt it. And was there a lot of control going on? Probably. Still, though, I believe that most of those marriages lasted because they knew it was a lifetime committment. They talked. They worked out there problems. I cannot speak for all the folks of old and their relationships. All I have to go on is the relationships of my grandparents. They worked together. They played together. They talked. They did not try to change or control one another. And they had a great marriage! | |
|
| |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/29/2007 4:20:47 PM | Any thread that starts out with "How do I control my (insert noun here) " is a baaaaad way to navigate any relationship. Good luck.
WD | |
|
| |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 4:55:08 AM |
Can we control our men ? .....Nobody has the right to 'control' anyone.
Everyone has the right to be treated for respect. If a person needs to be taught respect, then sure suggest a few tips, but control them? Never. Why would a person need to control a person if they show respect? | |
|
| |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 5:43:22 AM | | Control???? You can't control anyone. You love them and accept them for who they are. But before you get involved to the point of committment, you have to make sure the lines of communication are open with someone, so they will work out problems in a mature way. In my opinion, a coward just walks away at the drop of a hat from someone they have committed to... I will only settle for a real Christian man this time, because I feel it is very important for God to be in the center of a relationship - and if there is a problem, I want for us to be able to pray it through, together. But it also takes letting things develop over time. When people have instant chemistry and that fizzles out, then it makes it easy to walk away. Harder to leave someone you know, like or love, and respect. | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:35:35 AM | This is kind of a stupid post so i will give you a stupid answer since you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink. probibly the only way a woman can lead a man around by his nose is to stay fit, keep him happy and give him more of pu$$y than he can handle. however as soon as you slow down or stop -he's outta there and quick (no pun intended) just remember when your tired of puttin out -there are a half dozen of YOUR best friends lined up lookin for some fresh meat...
(dont shoot the messenger) | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:39:07 AM | You can never control another person .... the only person you have control over is YOU!
I personally would not stay in a relationship where I felt the need to control him ,.... YUK :) | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:08:53 AM | "How Do i Control My Man"?!? .... you DON'T.....Can't....wouldn't WANT To... 
why on God's Green Earth would you even TRY? you'd end up miserable anyway...
* Where's my 'Man-Remote'??   | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:11:59 AM |
Have him nueterd,,lol
Haha, spyman. Actually the neutering comment reminds me of a comic strip I saw years ago...
Frame#1: Two women in the living room talking with two cats listening from the other room:
"I don't know what to do Brenda, Richard stays out all night carousing with other women at the bars, getting in fights... what should I do?"
Frame#2: The two cats sitting next to the phone receiver on the floor, one talking into it:
"Richard! Whatever you do, don't let her take you to the vet!!!"
 | |
|
Kazot
|
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 142 | |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:26:06 AM | I can be controlled.
If she gives me everything I need and want and I will try to give her everything she needs and wants and anything else I can think of.
Sounds like a form of control to me.  | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:50:05 AM |
HONEY IM IN THE MAIL: ...discussion about the divorce rate ...
that divorce rate would likely be a lot lower if women weren't wondering things like "HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN"
marriage should be an equal partnership, not a power trip. | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:56:56 AM |
that divorce rate would likely be a lot lower if women weren't wondering things like "HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN"
marriage should be an equal partnership, not a power trip.
Heh, funny Rockondon, one of my ex-GF's (by far the most controlling/demanding/impatient of them all, but we get along ok as friends now, just couldn't deal with it in a relationship) was talking to me last year about how "Relationships are all a power-struggle". I chose not to argue it. | |
|
| |
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:00:59 AM |
forums1: one of my ex-GF's...was talking to me last year about how "Relationships are all a power-struggle". I chose not to argue it.
I think we can see how well you did in that struggle for power | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:03:59 AM | bottom line is you can't control anybody. So whatever it is you pull that you try to use to control him MAY work, but it will be superficial at best. Who wants to be with someone you have to manipulate right? Now if you do that, its no longer about the relationship, its about control, and no one wants to be controlled or manipulated...so he she pulls away, which only makes the other person try to manipulate more, thus the vicious cycle continues. So either talk to him/ her about whats going on and find a compromise...or leave...no other way around it. best wishes
Phoenix | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:09:45 AM | I think we can see how well you did in that struggle for power
Haha. Hey, I *did* lay into her when she said "I have to make this (her latest relationship) work, it could be my 'last chance' at love".
I'm not a big believer in "last chances" myself (well, ok, when I'm on my deathbed maybe).
That one tho, wasn't worth the argument. She's entitled to her opinion, and I mine. | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 3:44:20 PM | In a relationship, there should be no one controlling anyone. Like everyone said get a pet but do not try to control someone into loving you and staying with you, they will only grow to either resent or hate you.
If you have to fight to love someone then he's not yours at all. Love is something mutual, one person can't be doing all the work and beyond that it's not love it becomes something ugly. Be careful what you wish for. | |
|
| Someone Please HOW Do I CONTROL MY MAN
Posted: 6/30/2007 7:18:16 PM | Once again, Sly Knight...you are wise beyond your years....as you say there is a HUGE difference between 'compromise' and 'control'. I can't imagine a healthy, grounded, independent woman who would want to have someone coz she controlled him...boring!!! Of course if she is into that...the old saying goes..."If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back....hunt it down and kill it!" Some of these forums just slay me! | |
|
Home
login 
