| Giving Up
Posted: 7/9/2007 8:21:17 PM |
but I've stopped letting it all get under my skin.
And therein lies the real problem, we let it get under our skin. What gets under my skin isn't the fact that I am single, it's the fact that I seem to keep getting jerked around. Yes, I know.. most of that is because of the women I pick to date, I take my responsibility in that. But damn.. when does it end?!
If anyone has ideas/suggestions on how to NOT let it get under your skin, please share with the rest of us. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 9:48:26 AM | I am in the same boat as you ! I'm physically and emotionally worn out ! I met someone last night from this site....thought it went great, we even kissed in the parking lot. I'm betting money that we will never see each other again !
I'm tired of meeting someone, going through the hassle of getting ready, driving to the designated place, eating/drinking, talking, laughing.....and it's all a waste of time !
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong...... | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:16:19 AM | You are a bit older, which means men are not as interested in sex anymore. Just be fun and treat him like a man. Act like a little girl and if your guy is smart, he will know you can do those things, but like him to show off his muscles. and compliments do wonders. Good luck | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:55:53 AM | | i hear ya no luck my self if i was rich i feel that some would at least get to know me i am a good person every time i ask any one if thay would like to talk i get no responce or sorry not enterested but its there lose not mine not here just looking for sex or one nite stands but i feel like giveing up my self but i wich you good luck as i need that also | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:35:21 PM |
You are a bit older, which means men are not as interested in sex anymore. Just be fun and treat him like a man. Act like a little girl and if your guy is smart, he will know you can do those things, but like him to show off his muscles. and compliments do wonders.
What the hell does this mean?
If you are not "older," how do YOU know whether a man or woman is "not as interested in sex anymore"? I've dated them young and I've dated them old, it really depends on the individual.
"Act like a little girl"???? Gag me with a spoon. In which century are you stuck? How does a WOMAN act like a little girl and why should she? Should she wear pigtails and short little skirt accentuated with black patent leather mary-jane shoes? If she acts like one, doesn't that verge on pedophilia???
Women should be women and men should be men. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:35:27 PM |
am in the same boat as you ! I'm physically and emotionally worn out ! I met someone last night from this site....thought it went great, we even kissed in the parking lot. I'm betting money that we will never see each other again !
I'm tired of meeting someone, going through the hassle of getting ready, driving to the designated place, eating/drinking, talking, laughing.....and it's all a waste of time !
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong......
Well, it's simple. Sometimes there's chemistry. Sometimes, there's not.
If a man doesn't get back, then he's not interested. Or, if he's interested but doesn't want to look desperate or needy, he may take a few days before getting in touch with you again.
In any case, move on and don't lose hope. You profile looks interesting, and if we weren't half a world away, I'd like to meet you.
So I guess your problem is not really a dearth of suitors....
Mark | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:47:04 PM | | Don't give up. There are real nice guys out there. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:05:13 PM | | im done with this site nothing good came out of it so take care | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:24:16 PM | Well,
hate to sound like a parrot on this one, but I have not found any luck on here either. Admittedly I live in a small town which is not easy to get to.
I wonder if it is location, but I see that people in large centres are not having luck either. It takes a lot of cognitive dissonance to stay on here ( another way of saying faith perhaps? ). On one hand I don't believe it will lead to anything and on the other I hope it will. I'd blame my age, my location, my looks , the weather, the sun, the moon the star, karma, but it would not help. iIjust have to hang in there and believe. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:22:13 PM | "learn to love yourself"
Its interesting because a woman is often in a catch 22 with that..If she doesnt love herself, she is told by men to get some backbone, confidence and self esteem because that attracts men to her...If she does love herself, she is told by men to play that down and not let men see that or else he will think she is too independent and wont "need" him...So is it any wonder women are confused and frustrated?!!!..We cant win either way....We arent accepted for being ourselves....Either we are too "masculine" or too needy or not enough self esteem or too much self esteem..sheesh!......Especially for us 40 something women who do want to get married and couldnt fake it or lie it if our lives depended on it!..Which is probably why we are still single...We never learned how to be deceptive and and be less than ourselves so the man doesnt feel "threatened" by that...So we are healthy and stable and funny and witty and honest.....and above all genuine....But remain single because of that.. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:28:10 PM |
Well. .. interesting thread ,, just thought I'd give you one man's thoughts.
I think the biggest problem , and I've seen this on a television discussion program among the younger generation . Men are lost , confused , bewildered, frustrated, some are getting angry , some , especially the older ones , are just conceding defeat, and trying to make the most out of the rest of their lives .
Mostly I think the ability to trust , believe, and have faith in somebody is gone for many .
The want is still there ,and many yearn for companionship,, but are too afraid to venture
in to the deep end . So they date , so that at least they have some female company from time to time , and they avoid the commitment.
It's an empty , fruitless life ,but it's the best we have .
Hope that makes sense.
Wow, what a very articulate (and true) response.........You hit the nail right on the head there. The OP needs to realize that there are PLENTY of us guys out there that ARE looking for what she wants......we just can't seem to ever hook up with the right ones! Stop being so picky, sometimes we are right there in front of you but you don't realize it until it is too late......... | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:46:43 PM | | I've heard the defintion of success is people who are knocked down but always get back up and refuse to stay down. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:13:03 PM | | I say give up, I have... | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:15:14 AM | I've just read the first two pages of this thread....sorry if I'm being redundant...
I hear lots of people talking about being "picky". I don't think it's bad to be picky, but I do think it's a mistake to create an image of what your perfect mate will be. I have a friend who has been gently teasing me whenever I talk about my "type" of man.....she asks, "how's that working for you". And she's exactly right, my "type" DOESN'T work for me. I needed to shake things up and open my mind.
So I've held on to some basics....no married men, prefer non-smoker, etc....and thrown the rest out the window. I've decided that I don't want to date someone who's just like me. I'm looking forward to learning about new things and sharing my interests with someone who hasn't had a lot of experience with them. And suddenly I'm finding fun and interesting men that have broadened my world.
And one of them looks like a keeper!
So, my advice is: Be picky when it comes to your values, but open yourself up on all other fronts. You may find some (or even ONE) wonderful person in a package you didn't expect! | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/18/2007 2:30:48 PM | | I have to agree with Betty I have done the same thing and things are truly going better for me. My thoughts of what I wanted have actualy been smashed and things are starting to look up. I still have'nt found the one but she can not be that far off. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 5:13:14 PM | | dont feel bad im quiting also im tired of no answers to emails or being told im to ugly | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:05:20 PM |
I'm tired of meeting someone, going through the hassle of getting ready, driving to the designated place, eating/drinking, talking, laughing.....and it's all a waste of time !
Waste of time? Isn't that what dating is about. Meeting new people, talking, laughing. I know of several people that would be thrilled to even get to this point.
The internet & POF shold be approached as an auxiliary method of connecting with people that we may never have met otherwise. It cannot be approached as a catalogue, where we check off all the attributes that we desire & then get disappointed when we are not the "chosen one".
Relax, don't take it too seriously. It is certainly not the panacea that some are looking for. If they are not calling for a second date, maybe it's because they sense the urgency you may be giving off.
POF Et Al, are just another venue for meeting strangers. Try some volunteering, take some courses, attend the POF functions. There is nothing so attractive a single person who is happy being single. The moment you achieve this peaceful balance, men will look at you differently.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
KK | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:21:48 PM | I only got this to say....
-----------------Women------------------------
--------------are like apples------------------
----------on trees. The best ones------------
----------are at the top of the tree.-------------
--------The boys don't want to reach------- -----
-------for the good ones because they ---------
-----are afraid of falling and getting hurt.--------
----Instead, they just get the rotten apples-----
-----from the ground that aren't as good, ---------
----but easy. So the apples at the top think----
----something is wrong with them, when in--------
------reality, they're amazing. They just------
-------have to wait for the right man to-----------
---------come along, the one who's-------------
--------------brave enough to---------------
-----------------climb all---------------------
-----------------the way-------------------
----------------to the top.-------------------- | |
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MsChar
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Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 119 | |
| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:29:42 PM | yawnnnnnnnnnnn , this subject has been beaten to death ! so all i will say is ... remember the second you leave may be the time a new person joins .. and who knows .... !
people who give up after a few months ... check some profiles there are tons of people who have been on POF for ages . the other thing is dont just sit at the computer ... get out and meet these people . POF has super parties with great people .. and a very safe way to meet! if nothing else you have a nite out and meet new folks. its not all about the bar scene either , lots dont drink and just come to mingle !!!
if you are in the mississauga area thers a party sat at the muddy moose, chaeck the thread or email me !
to those who still chose to leave .... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
charla | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:26:17 PM | | Im a male 48 yrs old.I would say without any doubt that I have been 'in love' 3 times in my life.I remember the chemistry,the magic,and the feelings of 'falling in love'. I cared very deeply for all of these women. There was passion,laughter and genuine excitement to see them and to be with them.I am an honest person,maybe sometimes to a fault,and I know that it takes two in any relationship but unfortunatley none of these worked out.[It would take too long to go into details here but most of us know how the story goes].Since the last one of these relationships ended,which probably took about 2 yrs to recover from[and I dont mean that as a poor me] 17 years have somehow passed.I wouldnt consider myself a 'player' by any means but I worked in the service industry for a few years when I was younger and dates were never really a problem.I was also a member of a group for a few years where the women probably outnumber the men,making many female friendships[I have a lot of female friends now].Also over the past few years Ive had girlfriends for periods of time,liking them,enjoying their company but never 'falling in love' again.The point of this is that since that last relationship ended I havent experienced those feelings again.Ive been on blind dates,met women through sports Ive played and dated friends of friends...nothing.Do those feelings disappear as we age ?Is love really blind,deaf and dumb? I too had given up.Im new to computers and internet dating and thought Id give it a try.I have no answers but for me,if I dont feel that magic and that chemistry,the laughter and the passion I cant fake it.Is love real? | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:48:32 PM |
-----------------Women------------------------
--------------are like apples------------------
----------on trees. The best ones------------
----------are at the top of the tree.-------------
--------The boys don't want to reach------- -----
-------for the good ones because they ---------
-----are afraid of falling and getting hurt.--------
----Instead, they just get the rotten apples-----
-----from the ground that aren't as good, ---------
----but easy. So the apples at the top think----
----something is wrong with them, when in--------
------reality, they're amazing. They just------
-------have to wait for the right man to-----------
---------come along, the one who's-------------
--------------brave enough to---------------
-----------------climb all---------------------
-----------------the way-------------------
----------------to the top.--------------------
to that I must add the rest of the article....it is so often left out....
Now Men. . .
Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes, and it's up to women
to stomp the crap out of them until they turn
into something acceptable to have dinner with. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:59:05 PM |
Now Men. . .
Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes, and it's up to women
to stomp the crap out of them until they turn
into something acceptable to have dinner with.
So true....and then often it is just vinegar. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/19/2007 9:02:09 PM | Yep, I've about had enough of the unfeeling uncaring people myself. Society has become this way it appears. Dating sites especially. I just don't get it.
I have a friend about to become divorced after 20 yrs. They dread going back into dating as it has really changed. The game playing and all the garbage I've had to endure. I myself have put up with it way too long. You just once keep hoping there is someone out there that is true. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:12:11 AM |  I'm done. I’ve been on POF for several months now and am deleting my profile. This has been a great disappointment and huge waste of my time… Hope the rest of you "fishers" have better luck than I. | |
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| Giving Up
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:25:43 PM | Wow, this is sooo interesting. All these responses make sense (well, most of them anyway).
I decided to nix the part of my profile that tells what I want mainly because I'm not finding what I want anyway, so why bother? I've been on a lot of dates. It used to be exciting at first getting all dressed up, makeup just right, hair all done, the works; but now I just don't want to anymore. I'm tired of 3 one hour phone calls in one week and then no connection physically.
The part I hate the most is meeting someone I've really been looking forward to meeting, only to watch a big red flag pop out of his mouth. The last guy I went out with left me a voice message asking me for a 2nd date....he said he really wanted to see me this weekend, but since he paid for the first date, he'd like me to cook him dinner and then he can come over and we can eat and talk. Now, I'm not bugging about the whole money thing, but I didn't even want to go on a first "date" with him. I wanted to meet for coffee and he insisted that we go out to dinner on him. I'm not letting someone I've only been out with once into my house, let alone cook him dinner after I've worked over 20 hours in two days. I'm not even cooking myself dinner.
So, another one bites the dust. Add in all the responsibilities of being a single parent, owning my own business, the gym, the dog, the extra curricular activities, and especially all the junk I get from my ex on a constant basis and I just don't care to waste my time anymore. I figure I'll get back into the swing of things when my daughter turns 18 (in 9 years). Until then I'm enjoying the forums and if I meet someone, well, we'll see, but I'm not pursuing anything anymore.
ps. I re-joined this past January after breaking up with my boyfriend whom I met on here. I've been on POF for a total of 1 1/2 years, and have been dating since October 2005. I've been single since 2002. | |
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