| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/27/2007 6:24:06 PM | "if someone is 'intimidated' by something as dumb as favorites numbers then they are not for me. I want a man who has more balls than that! If he is not going to say Hi because I couldnt be bothered to sit and delete each individual person who has selected me, then the he has done us both a favour.
POF has not made it easy to delete"
POF has not made it easy to delete? Wow. How hard is it to select and delete? I want a woman who has more brains than that.
I can't speak for anyone else, but I know in my case, intimidation has nothing to do with it. The fact is, there are people on this site..."lifers", so to speak...that aren't interested in actually finding a mate, but more so in winning some kind of internet popularity contest. I've met a couple of such women at functions. When looking at their profiles, there's always one thing in common...hundreds...and I do mean hundreds...of "favourites". And when talking to them, they have told me, flat out, that whether or not they have a boyfriend, they have no interest in cancelling, or hiding their profiles, on this site, or even simply removing their photos from their profiles when they are dating someone. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/27/2007 11:25:11 PM | I put people on my favorites list as a way of saving their profile (terminally bad memory). My face time with my monitor is limited, so it can take me a while to getting around to contacting them, and seeing where it goes.
Cheers,
Rob | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:26:46 PM | | I suspect there are quite a few manipulative people out there who are giving out 10's to your picture to make you think they like you, but really they want you to add them as a favorite and give them a 10, that stuff ought to be banned. I keep seeing the same "fans" in a lot of profiles, including my own. Really, stats don't mean a lot, but I stay away from the ones with large #'s. | |
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nrk
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Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:43:25 PM | And when talking to them, they have told me, flat out, that whether or not they have a boyfriend, they have no interest in cancelling, or hiding their profiles, on this site, or even simply removing their photos from their profiles when they are dating someone.
so?
lots of us who have met our mates on this site still have a profile up. not to fulfill some 'internet popularity' need but because we still like to post in the forums. can't do that without a profile. I have chosen to hide mine so the only people who see my pics are fellow posters and I have no problem (nor does my guy) with them knowing who's behind the name. besides...I've known some of these people for over 2 years. why shouldn't I stay to play on the site we met on?
I want (and have) a man who's more secure than that.
OT: I usually respond(ed) to everyone who wrote, regardless of the number of faves they had. The only ones who didn't get a response of some sort were either rude or didn't give me anything to respond to. Sending one or a bunch of emoticons does not constitute a 'message' in my opinion. | |
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nrk
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Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 32 | |
| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:03:22 PM | I would think a favorite should be someone you date.
...or a friend, or someone you don't want to have to 'search' for when you need to contact them (like a mod), or someone who's profile makes you laugh your azz off so you go back to read it every now and again to see if they've changed it up. many different reasons to have someone on your 'faves' list. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:07:22 PM |
I might be the only one who sees it that way
Yep, it appears that way! LOL.
As many other posters have said, there are many reasons to have someone on your favorites. I do know that people that host and/or attend the events on a regular basis find it useful to put someone on their fav list so they are easier to contact. | |
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dook
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 35 | |
| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:53:39 PM | It is a little psychologically intimidating to message someone with a lot of fav's. I mean you are putting yourself out there in the middle of a swarm, hoping to stand out. Just like real life. Suck it up.
I message them anyway, because who knows until you try.
What about when you see someone in your favorites ( they added you ) and after a while you say hi to them, then get no response. That I don't get.
My list is women who meet my preferences, and whom I think I might fit with what they have listed as theirs . If you are on my favs it is kind of like a glance across the room. I see some have checked out my profile, but not contacted me. doesn't matter, if they are interested they will write. If I am I will. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:36:05 PM | I myself was at the other end, having well over 1100 favorites, and did not know the impact it would have. I now know that it intimidated many wonderful men in sending an email or be totally turned off,. not getting to know the real person behind the pics. I was off pof for awhile and have changed my views about letting numbers rise and worrying about hurting feeling of those who put me on their favorites, and by not really caring or taking notice .. I am cleaning house as you might say ,daily... I dont want to miss that very special someone if he is truly out there...Testimonals should put some to ease. but ....My advice , even INTELLIGENT nice ladies can be DARN foolish...Clean House....... | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:25:14 PM | well stated r u
I really have nothing else to say about your response, but it wouldn't let me post the first line...as it was too short. Wow...I never thought I would have ever been accused of being SHORT-winded | |
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| Do you ever not respond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 11:01:57 PM | Ok, definitely getting a headache now.
1. Favourites - not always someone you date. They could be people you've met at different events, people who like your posts in forums, people who like your profile. Nothing more, nothing less.
2. Hiding Profile when Taken - sure, why not? Or just put in it, "I am taken but still here for friends I've made". There's nothing wrong with that either.
Judging someone by how many favourites they are on, is just silly. If someone wants to judge me because of my list, then go ahead. That's their call. If they think I'm a slut (got that haterade already, thank you), because of it, again, their call. If they think I don't have time for them, I can't change their minds and I won't.
The numbers mean NOTHING. It is how you decide to present yourself and how you decide to handle it. | |
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| Do you ever not respond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 5/28/2007 11:08:43 PM | Those numbers don't really mean anything. Sure there are those who relish in the ego boost of being on hundreds of peoples lists. There are those who don't care and pay no attention to who adds them. And there are those who delete the "undesirables".
At the end of the day it comes down to making an effort to break the ice and say hello. And what happens from there..... | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 6/8/2007 5:25:11 PM | I myself was at the other end, having well over 1100 favorites, and did not know the impact it would have. I now know that it intimidated many wonderful men in sending an email or be totally turned off,. not getting to know the real person behind the pics. I was off pof for awhile and have changed my views about letting numbers rise and worrying about hurting feeling of those who put me on their favorites, and by not really caring or taking notice .. I am cleaning house as you might say ,daily... I dont want to miss that very special someone if he is truly out there...Testimonals should put some to ease. but ....My advice , even INTELLIGENT nice ladies can be DARN foolish...Clean House.......
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 6/9/2007 5:14:09 PM | I used to have hundreds of people that had me added to their favorites list. Why? Because I used to plan huge events in Calgary, and people wanted to message me to see if tickets were still available, who else was coming, what the age range was like, and so forth. It made it easier for them to contact me, and I had no problem with it. In fact, I encouraged it.
Since I moved away, it's changed and that works too, but many of these people are still on my favorites because I consider them a friend. Again, I'd rather just be able to say, "Hi!" quickly than go searching for their handle - which with some people it changes on a daily basis and there is NO way I'd ever find them in a search, especially in a larger community.
But to look at my "numbers" and judge me as to whether or not I am note-worthy, especially if it's a free contact? Honestly, I think that's more than a bit silly. There are soooo many other things to fret about. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:26:56 PM | I still stand by my original post, however, I have weeded out a lot that added me which said "intimate encounters". I was surprised at those ones, because I am pretty specific. I have also started deleting those who have added me, and then don't respond when I email them *shrugs lightly* c'est la vie.
I have also noticed that when you do host events, you get added for info reasons. Those are fine, no worries there.  | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:43:43 PM | As a person who hosts, co-hosts and organizes events, it is understandable that one would have lots of people on their lists. Personally I have lots of people of both genders and that would include people met at events, people that have become friends over time, people who just want a contact so they can track events and a host of others reasons. In no way could it be truely a measure of popularity and shouldn't cause anyone to shy away from contact. However the reality is that it does to some measure. Too bad, but life's like that. One can only hope that we are not so shallow that we can't reach out to someone because the "appear" to be popular. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:40:32 PM | Doesn't make any difference to me. I know what motivates people to add others to a "list" and sometimes it has nothing to do with wanting to date them. Some of the people that I have added and who have added me are women (quite a few) that I have connected with through the forums and couldn't talk via email unless we added each other. Some are men that are out of my area and just like to chat about forum issues from time to time and we will likely never meet. Some are just lurking, reading my posts from time to time. And maybe the rest are just putting me in their cooler for later when they want to investigate a little further.
I was deleting them, and realized that's really just unneccessary. I'm not dealing with anything that is hindering me physically. I don't have remoras attached to me, so what's the difference?
There are lots of reasons for favorites lists, many of which are out of control of the profile owner. I don't feel I should have to go and "pick them off" one by one just to keep someone from being intimidated by a number. | |
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