| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 8/16/2008 9:32:24 PM | | Are you saying that when you look at their profile, you could actually imagine yourself as a match for her, but then you see the number and back off? I have a hard time believing that. I'm guessing you would probably not think she would go for you way before you saw the number of favourites. (It's not as much of an issue for women because men don't tend to get quite as many, and the ones that do, it's not like I have ever seen a guy with over 100 favourites that I would think would be a good match for me). | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:34:06 PM | It wasn't until recently that I even knew that I could view people who listed me as a favorite. I noticed that not a single one had ever sent me an e-mail. Now after reading this forum, I realize that was their way of saying hello and they are interested.
I guess I only use favorites for people I've corresponded with and am interested in. I'll probably still disregard the favorites list and stick with the men who contact me personally through e-mail. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:40:46 PM | There are way too many other reasons not to respond(smoker,player,dimwit,health disaster etc.)
to add something THAT trivial to the list!
After all they have been put on the list by someone it's NOT like they put themselves on! lol
It is true they don't have to stay on so many peoples lists but they may not care what others think
or even know about the favourites thing!
I delete those who put me on their list if no contact is made.
AND... half the ones I am on are women friends from the forums! | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:40:15 PM | Even when you delete people they just put themselves back on anyway ....so whats the point....I dont even look "EVER" to see who put themselves on "MY" favorites list, cause if I delete them today, sure enough they will be back on tomorrow, like it or not... | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:40:48 PM | Ummm Rose, hate to burst your bubble but you absolutely do have control.
You go into "who has added you as a favorite" and remove as many as you like.
All with the click of the mouse.
OT
Why would you want 200+ people in your faves?
Do you really correspond with all of them say, even once a week?
Man, I'd need a social secretary just to answer my fan mail.. 
AND... half the ones I am on are women friends from the forums!
You too?..lol | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 107 | |
| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:58:02 PM | I did have the experience of seeing a new fishie join the pond and as she was local and someone I might be interested in meeting, I wrote and introduced myself, politely and witty as ever.
She replied and it was encouraging. Within a week we exchanged perhaps three messages each, her replies getting further apart. Within that same week she was added to about 8 fav lists. By the second week she was on twice that as many fav lists and the last time I looked out of curiosity, before her profile vanished it was even more. I never did get a reply to my last message.
Obviously she was getting lots of attention from fish more interesting to her than me (I was reminded of the candy store thread mentality recently discussed here).
Obviously we weren't a match and I feel lucky to have avoided disappointment.
My point is this. I am not intimidated by someone who is a favorite of many, but will be cautious if I observe that someone I'm corresponding with is getting increasingly popular and the number grows steadily. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 2:31:57 PM | Recently, someone added me to his favourites. I sent him a quick email just to thank him for adding me to his favourites ... just being polite, that's all. Most of the time I don't hear back from the guy who added me, but this guy replied to thank ME for having thanked him & told me the reasons he had added me; i.e. things he liked about my profile, etc. His humour appealed to me so I checked out his profile, then wrote back.
After a couple of days of chatting, I suggested we take our conversation to the phone, something he had been wanting too. Two conversations later, we agreed to meet for coffee which turned into an all-day window-shopping date during which time we spent quite a bit of time chatting & getting into deep conversation, something I enjoy as I despise superficiality.
I asked him why he added me but never initiated contact. He said that he was intimidated by the 56 people on my favourites list & would never have made contact had I not initiated it first with my thank you email. So I'm sure there are others who possibly feel that adding someone to their favourites list IS making initial contact & the ball then falls in the other person's court to respond.  | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:55:24 PM | I have mixed feelings about this one. Part of me does not care because the person has no control on who tags them as favorites. Yes, they can delete them from the list but after awhile I would see it being a pain in da azz and not bother.
On the other hand. If I see someone with 500 favorites and they are still looking for a date I have to wonder. Are they being overly picky? Are they playing some "look at me" game? Maybe they just use pof to feel popular. It does throw up a few red flags with me.
I guess if I had to pick one I would say it is intimidating and would more often than not skip past the profile.
I am still trying to figure out this whole PoF etiquette thing. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:38:35 PM |
I asked him why he added me but never initiated contact. He said that he was intimidated by the 56 people on my favourites list & would never have made contact had I not initiated it first with my thank you email.
So this is a guy who adds women to his favourites list, but doesn't contact them, then admits to being intimidated by women with too many favourites? That's funny ... if there weren't so many guys like him on this site, most women would be on a lot fewer lists.
The guy is intimidated by a situation he is partially responsible for. Weird. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:59:40 PM | | Makes no difference as to how many people are on someones favourite list. They didn't ask for all those people to add them. Just some have taken the time to delete all the peeps. It's not a persons job to go and manage the actions of others on this site. The favourite option is there to let others know that you might be interested. If you feel so insecure that a POF member has had others looking at their profile maybe a dating site is not the place for you!!!! | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:12:30 AM |
From past experience I've come to a conclusion that the best personalities have less than 10 names who've personally listed them
According to your conclusion, this would mean that my personality sucks because I have more than 10 names on my favourites list?
Doesn't matter that there are waaay more than 10 people on my list who are personal female friends?
Doesn't matter that I have most of the event hosts & POF moderators on my list so that we can contact each other should there be a question or a problem?
Doesn't matter that I also have family members & other friends on my list who are not dating material because they are the wrong sex, too young, too old, married, live in another province or country or whatever? Most of these people also have me on their lists so that we can easily locate each other by user name.
According to your statement above, this still disqualifies me from fitting into the "best personalities" category, right?
Keep in mind that out of every 10 guys who have added me because they liked something on my profile, maybe one out of those 10 guys will actually make contact with me & even that is no guarantee that we will ever meet if our initial conversation doesn't go smoothly.
So all of you who are not making contact with someone you might be destined to meet, just because they have too many people on their favourites list ... think again. They might be sitting at home on a Friday or Saturday night looking at the 100 people on their favourites list & wishing there was just one person they could find that special connection with ... & you might be that lucky one ... don't know if you don't try.  | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:53:30 AM | I agree with the person that steers clear of profiles with too many faves....
The statement above proves the mindset of fave collectors....
It's an ego boost for insecure types, wayyyyy too many other methods of ''keeping in contact'' available than using the fave list, just another attempt to look popular..................
No, I'd never contact anyone with a laundry list..... | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 116 | |
| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:54:21 PM |
Recently, someone added me to his favourites. I sent him a quick email just to thank him for adding me to his favourites ... just being polite, that's all. Most of the time I don't hear back from the guy who added me, but this guy replied to thank ME for having thanked him & told me the reasons he had added me; i.e. things he liked about my profile, etc.
Good luck FAs. Hope it works out for you.
However for some the result in similar circumstances may differ.
Recently someone added me to her favorites. I look at her profile. She lives too far to be of interest to me. However her profile is very well written, clever and witty. In fact its the best and most engaging profile I've seen in this pond.
My mail settings do not prevent her from writing to me and she is on-line regularly. After waiting a few days without hearing from her I decided to write to her, politely complimenting her on her profile.
My message was read within an hour. It was never acknowledged or responded to. It certainly is not the reaction I'd expected from someone who added me to her favourites. Go figure.
Fortunately she lives far away! | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:42:36 AM | | A ton of favourites just means that someone thinks you're cute and it's a compliment - i don't get people who pare them down in anal retentive fashion - i wouldn't be so rude as to delete...why would you? unless they have something to HIDE (laugh) | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:44:41 AM |
A ton of favourites just means that someone thinks you're cute and it's a compliment - i don't get people who pare them down in anal retentive fashion - i wouldn't be so rude as to delete...why would you?
For some, the reason to delete would be a subtle way of letting the other know the feeling isn't mutual. | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 119 | |
| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/12/2008 8:21:21 AM |
A ton of favourites just means that someone thinks you're cute and it's a compliment
This is an assumption, one not always true.
I've had people add me to their favourites list, people who cannot write to me because of my mail settings (most recently someone not in Canada), but wanted to comment privately on something I posted here in the forums. When I discovered that they couldn't write to me first, I wrote to them, which lifts the mail block for them, and I subsequently removed myself from her list. After all, I wouldn't want the nervous fillies to shy away because I'm too popular.
I've done the same, adding to my list someone whose mail settings block me, in hope they will write to me, and we can discuss in private something posted in the forums.
So if someone adds you to your fav list see if your mail settings block them from writing to you. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/12/2008 8:28:45 AM | I have friends on my favourites list male and female because it's alot quicker to find them and email then go the search route..
Being a favourite doesn't mean that there is romance involved or I am in big trouble | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/12/2008 11:43:46 AM | ^^^ Yup, totally agree.
If someone likes something on my profile enough to make the effort to add me to their favourites list, it IS a compliment, whether the feeling is mutual or not. I think it would be an insult, like slapping their face for me to delete them at this point. However, if they haven't made contact with me after a year or more, I figure they've likely moved on to other fish & will delete them. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:29:25 PM | "don't get people who pare them down in anal retentive fashion - i wouldn't be so rude as to delete...why would you? unless they have something to HIDE"
what? Suddenly because people remove "favourites" they have something to hide? Wow. That's painting with a broad brush (not to mention it makes no sense).
Well, I remove "favourites" all the time, although not at all anal retentively. I just see no reason for someone to put me on their favourites list if they are not going to say anything. Plus, there are only three people with whom I communicate on any personal basis, so by keeping that list down, it's easy to find them and see if they are online or not. I couldn't imagine sifting through a list of 300 just to send someone a quick email.
It makes me laugh when I get emails saying "I can't believe you are only on 3 favourites lists" | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:35:57 PM | If you look at a profile, including your own, you'll note two changes.
1) The number of people that have added that user to their favorites no longer appears.
I'm happy to see that feature go, for it served no useful purpose.
2) The links to the 5 most recent forum posts no longer appear.
Once users were made aware of the fact that their post history was included in their profile they tended to be more accountable in their posts. Hopefully this will be restored. | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:58:49 PM | Just noticed that myself as well that the Favorites list is gone...I sayyyyyyyy ya...but have to admit am not sorry to see the forums list go either. Also something else that is new, now when you do a search it also includes what you both have in common like dancing, movies, etc..so that is kinda cool.  | |
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| Do you ever not repond when they have a ton of favorites?
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:02:40 PM | I am so glad to see the favorites number not showing up on profies, I saw no use for it and some people spent way too much time fretting about it.
As far as the posts not showing up, I rather liked having that feature. One reason is I could go back and check to see if anyone responded to my post, as I usually forget from one day to the next which threads I posted to.  But that is ok, I can life without this as well.
Just very happy that the favorites numbers are not showing .. I think I will write big fish and tell him I am happy | |
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