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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:41:43 PM | heh It's quite simple
Guys that are too nice are seen by women as NEEDY and also of LOWER VALUE to them so they are not seen as a prize, no challenge as well since they have them on a silver platter kissing their ass. Women want a guy they see as having high value and who challenges them THAT is what creates attraction..
Ever had a girl kiss your ass with compliments and being a YESWoman? Isn't it annoying? Doesn't it make you want to run for the hills? Same deal the other way around.
Just play the same game women play with men. Don't give it all to them in one shot, make them work for it. They'll be that more attracted to you and after all, nobody ever saw value in anything they didn't have to work for.
Just my thoughts..
Ace | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:31:04 PM | As mentioned earlier, attraction is first. You may have done the right things and it simply boiled down to what she felt inside. Without knowing the details, if you did go overboard, get out there and try again. Don't worry or try to analyze it, we're all different and you just need to find the right combination. Good Luck !
SPONIKA1 That statement was unacceptable. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 4:57:59 PM | BEING NICE TO WOMEN IS THE WAY I WAS RAISED TO SHOW RESPECT FOR THEM AND TO TREAT THEM AS A GIFT FROM GOD. BUT, AS THE YEARS HAVE COME AND GONE I HAVE SEEN THAT THIS JUST ISN'T TRUE THESE WOMEN AT TIMES CAN BE EXTREMELY HURTFUL AND COLD HEARTED. NOW I TEND TO FEEL ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. DON'T GET ME WRONG I STILL LOVE WOMEN AND WILL CONTINUALLY TRY TO TREAT THEM NICE AT THE COST OF A BROKEN HEART AGAIN AND AGAIN.   | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:20:59 PM | Don't you know that the real way to a woman's heart is to punch her teeth in? That really gets them goin'. Guys that beat thier women are never lonely. Also try cheating on them, lying to them, and/or knocking them up. They'll be yours forever!
The reason this works is because women are fundamentally stupid. Like dogs, they'll only listen to you and respect you if you beat them and yell at them constantly.
Don't agree ladies? Then start dating all these nice, decent guys on this site that post topics like "Why Do women dump men who are nice to them" all the time! Maybe then I won't have to hear about all your crappy exs either... you know, the ones that treated you like garbage but you still gave more of a chance then any of the great guys out there. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:36:24 PM | | Why do men dump women who are nice to them? I don't this is gender specific - there are some people - men AND women who wouldn't know a good thing if it hit them right betweent the eyes. Best way to deal with it is to move on. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:48:57 PM | I think its great that you do all these things...
However, what if she is not attracted to on a sexual level? no amount of you being a good person is going to change that. you are still good whether she is attracted to you or not.
if she is attracted it could be that she loses her attraction when you say something to hurt her feelings or anger her. or there could be things about you that she just doesn't like and these are an obstacle for her wanting you completely.
i'm sure you can relate to this as a guy. there are some women you are attracted to and some you are not. little old ladies may be kind and sweet to you and do things for you but its not going to make you want to be in an exclusive relationship with them. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:06:18 PM |
It's lack of attraction. If it's not mutal, then you can't make it so no matter how nicely you treat her or how much you prove you're really into her. She can't make herself feel something for you if it's not there.
A lot of nice guys forget the attraction has to be there before anything else you do for her can work. Just because it's not mentioned doesn't mean it's not part of the equation - we don't mention it because we honestly don't think we have to. It's just a given.
You should tell that to the women that I have zero interest in, and still don't get the message. They either think you're playing hard to get or like "stoic" types, when I'm being stoic simply because I don't care to continue.
Works both ways. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:37:15 PM | I recently learned this lesson the hard way.
"Don't make someone your priority while remaining their option."
I have spent the last eight years caring about someone very deeply. We'd been friends for twenty-five years. I dedicated myself to helping her build her career and her business. And in the end, she turned around and got engaged to some guy she's only known for four months.
If your efforts are not being acknowledged and being returned in kind, don't waste your time and energy. Just as there are lots of nice guys out there, there are also nice women who appreciate kindness and thoughtfulness and know how to reciprocate those things.
And ladies, that "spark" isn't very reliable. I know several women who entered relationships because the "spark" was there and in the end the guy turned out to be a toal jerk. Sometimes that "spark" can blind you to the reality of the situation. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:37:32 PM | I was wondering about this one too. So if the girl is really into you, and you are a sap with her, kissing her ass, giving complements all the time, offering to do shit, etc. Will she still want to run for the hills or eat it up? Hell if I really like a girl and she was like that I would absolutely love it, but if I did not dig her all that much I would want to puke and run for the hills. So thats what it really means, she she was not all that into you!!!  | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:43:09 PM | op
i've had to dump guys that weren't nice to me, even though i felt attracted to them, i ended those relationships for my own safety and sanity. so don't go thinking you have to be mean to get a girl to want to be with you. if she has any sense she realizes there are lots of men who are attractive and will treat her better. and even if she doesn't find someone special, she knows being single is a heck of a lot better and a lot more fun than being trapped in an abusive relationship.
i've also had to dump guys i didn't see a future with or who didn't see a future with me. there is nothing wrong with ending a good relationship that isn't meant to be. its sad and it hurts, but its NOT morally wrong to end this kind of relationship. its morally right to end it. it would be morally wrong to continue it knowing you did not want to be married to the person. if you entered the relationship knowing you did not want to marry the person, and had other intentions, ie entered it on false pretenses, then your motives/actions are morally wrong. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:56:03 PM | morning
is true wat you sed but some time you have to give up few thing to be happy and if the man is not atractive to you then you shouldnt be with him from the ferst place not shower and note and after that get dump
tony  | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:57:46 PM | Sometimes when a guy showers you with attention, gifts, etc..it is to make you feel obligated to him. Actually, he can be considered manipulative.
i've had that happen to me. don't want to feel obligated again. i want the nice stuff and nice experiences, all the romance, but not if its just to make me feel obligated or like i owe him or to make me feel guilty. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:58:02 PM | hiya
to be honest with you most of womans are verry selfish they dont know wat is good for them
if they have man tret them good they start getting warry
iaf they dont they maone
tony | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:10:11 PM | My best friend had the worst case of this that I have ever seen or heard of. I introduced him to a neighbor of mine and they hit it off right away. They both smoked and drank excessively so they had some things in common at least. He used to buy her flowers and beer and cigerettes since she couldn't afford to on a regular basis. She kept telling him that she has never had a man treat her so well before. He treated her like a queen! Then we had another neighbor move in by us. He was a skinhead with tats and pierces all over the place and in places where they shouldn't be. He was so freakin' ugly looking. Anyway, I knew there was a problem when my friend would buy her beer and then she would turn around and offer it to the other guy. Just as I expected, she started cheating on my friend and broke up with him about two weeks later. She told him that she couldn't be with him anymore because he doesn't bring out her "wild child." She said that he was too nice to her and that she doesn't deserve it. It tore him apart. He couldn't believe that she left him for a guy who was going to beat her and...sure enough, he did. Within a month of living together he started taking all of his frustration out on her just like I knew he would. I got home one night and she asked me to take her to the police station because he had locked her out. She started crying about why she left my friend who treated her so well for a guy who beats her. I thought, I saw that coming a long time ago. Then when we got to the station she changed her mind. She said that she couldn't turn him in because she loves him. It's obvious to me that she keeps falling for guys who beat her. When she finally found someone who didn't, she wasn't sure how to take it so she went back to what she was used to, which was being beat.
Ed | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:29:06 PM | Scottish Warrior,
Sane women do not dump men who are nice to them.They do not as a norm'. Not for that reason.
I was left a love note every morning for 20 years. I did not expect them each day, nor take it for granted, but there they were. He had to be forced by me to stop buying cut flowers so much and buy me plants, which lasted longer and was better to put money in on such a continuous basis. Jewlery,vacations, liked all I cooked, helped wash dishes, cooked on weekends, put my desires first, and he was treated equally good in return by me, but did all his niceness and continuous complements make the marriage last so long. No, it was an easy chemistry. Nothing forced, all easy in being together-not that we did not have a bumpy beginning-broke up a few times-it leveled out beautifully.
I cannot get a gist of how long you two had dated and how serious it had become?
I have been lucky to know some very nice men in my life. Some really good guys and they were sweet with compliments, gifts, and etc, but we did not end up in long term relationships just from the nice ways.
Chemistry, that elusive chemistry has to be there - the thing that makes two drawn back to one another no matter what. The thing that even if one makes you want to pull your hair out at times, it is still them that you would rather be talking to at the end of the day.............chemistry.
None of us know for sure when we see chemistry. Some think they feel it and it fades quick, others are not sure at first and years later figure something must be there because they are still drawn back to each other.
It is not you from being nice. Any woman who thinks she does not want a nice man- will one day. Nice men can be 'bad boys' too.....My first husband was,,,nothing not a bad boy about him hahaha, but under it all, he was nice. Insane, but nice.
You stay the way you are as the right woman is going to blend just right with you, and she will love your nice ways, but mostly be feeling some deep, mysterious chemistry with you that will make all...............fit.
Keep your chin up and try not to get jaded!
Plus, do not give up,if you think there is a chance.........still might be!
You are a good guy,
Gren | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:32:13 PM | Unfortunately no matter how nice and good a man or women is to you if there is no physical attraction there then it will never become a romantic relationship . This happened to me once . The guy was a really great ,nice guy. He would bring me flower ,hold doors open for me etc... but i was not physically attracted to him at all.
I kept seeing him because i told myself "he is a really great guy you should be attracted to him" . It does not work that way though .You can't choose who you fall in love with .
To the idiot who said you should beat women ,cheat on them and generally treat them like dogs ,YOU ARE A FOOL!! I would like to see a man ever put his hands on me . It would be the last time he would ever use his arms. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:06:32 AM | "To the idiot who said you should beat women ,cheat on them and generally treat them like dogs ,YOU ARE A FOOL!! I would like to see a man ever put his hands on me . It would be the last time he would ever use his arms."
If I had a dime for every time I've heard that, but then seen that same girl in the same exact kind of a relationship, I would be so stinkin' rich that I could just buy a few women and not have to worry about dating ever again.
The truth is, women like to be mistreated. Being nice to a woman is repellant. It has nothing to do with "the spark" or "chemistry". I'm not the only one on here that's come in to tell you that. Every day there's a new topic just like this one... Some poor guy complaining about his being nice not working.
When was the last time you saw a topic that said, "Why is my being mean chasing these girls away?", or "I beat my chick and she left me. What gives?" You never see these kinds of posts because those guys are too busy screwing to get on the internet.
Somehow I'm the fool though? Even though you're the one who seems completely detached from reality. I'll indulge you though... WHY am I a fool? Do you want to explain or is it just easier for you to call names than to come up with a coherent argument? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:39:31 AM | Dear Warrior...
I feel your pain. Its not just nice men that get that, its nice women, too. But as a woman...too much too fast will scare us off. I don't know how to explain it, but it does. I love it when I get flowers unexpectedly...for no reason. It doesn't have to be a date, or my birthday, or any kind of special occasion. The best time is when she's stressed out from work or whatever, drop a few flowers and a little card to say "hey, am thinking of you." But don't over do it. Occasionally is wonderful. Plus, if you do find one that wants that kind of attention all the time...be cautious. Could be a high-maitnence kinda girl and expect it allllllll the time. Not good either, lol. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:09:26 AM | The 'phenomena" of women, liking loser arce holes is a one to be studied...
I have known of a few girls like this and currently a good friend of mine who
has a Master's degree, is going out with a complete moronic, abusive "bad boy"
loser...Hard core loser and boozer...myself and others have talked to her so many times that we have given up...So, what gives?...Why do some women do this?...
I suspect it is linked to very poor "self esteem"...not valuing yourself as a person and seeing what your true roll as a human being is...
My point really is, the women are suffering as a result of this phenomena and
keep that in mind, when you feel that you are being left out, for the jack ass's...
I have seen this, every guy and women I know has seen this strange behavior pattern in some women...I bet the bulk of them come from dysfunctionalism, like my mentioned, educated friend does...then they become dysfunctional in relationships via dysfunctional men,,,
However, one only succumbs to this detrimental behavior, when one is perceiving the world with myopic thinking... | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:18:08 AM | I called you a fool because you are a fool !What kind of tard thinks it is ok to put your hands on a woman?What kind of man equates a woman to no more then a dog?You are a fool because in your twisted and sick little mind you believe your disgusting views. You don't know me ,and you don't know what i will put up with . I didn't stay single for years because i couldn't find anyone. I stayed single because i am not willing to put up with any bullsh!t from a man .
I don't care what you have heard from other women . I am not them . There is something wrong with someone in the head if they will put up with any of that bull from a guy.And yes any man who would try to put his hands on me would get his arms broken . I had one guy raise his hand to me once ,but it got no further then that. Oh sure he could walk afterwards ,but not well, and certainly not upright.
I did not grown up in a home where that garbage EVER went on and i certainly am not going to put up with any man treating me any less then great .If i am going to treat him like a king he better damn well treat me like a queen. | |
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