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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:02:52 PM | Becuase women are idealists! Many want a man or a dog as a fashion accessory someone who matches their shoes and accessories. Someone they think will look good standing next to themor make them look good. Either that or that the lady in question is a glutton for punishment and would rather stay witha guy who beats her then the nice guy who buys her dinner and treats her right. initally spend less money ont he first date and be more demanding. if you don;t ahve a stong personalirty and confidence you won;t last very long. And if it does not work... NEXT! Plenty of fish in the sea. hell I went on 2 dates a few weeks ago. Even the first date went well ig ot a hand job, 2 days later I call and she tells me she is not over her ex boyfriend. I already had a date with another girl who told me she wanted to be just freinds a day before that call. And now I am scouring POF and checking and replying my messages. thsi little fishy is a busy fishy becuase I have self confidence and don;t get discouraged by idealists or women who aren;t emotionally secure for a relationship. Or would rather date some big tall dark guy who beats them and gets them mcDonalds isntead of Fridays and hugs. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:15:36 PM | My opinion on this as a guy is this- women DO NOT essentially want a guy that is too nice. This is because overly nice guys tend to be overly sensitive, hence being a homo. Not that they want a guy that will treat them like crap, even though a lot of women stay with guys that do that, although eventually they leave them too. It's just that they want someone in between, not a complete wuss and not a complete jerk. If you are just that "nice guy" you might as well be her brother, father or just another of her girlfriends. So stop being the nice guy and start being a man. Or you could always forget about trying and just get  !! | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:15:36 PM | I did, drove all the way to O'hare 2x through 2 of the worst snowstorms there & back both times, she was only here what maybe a month before she found the next guy, I just don't understand. I did everything I could to be by her side & still got dropped. Live & learn right? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:23:06 PM | | Why do men dump women who are nice to them? It works both ways - some people just get off on treating people like dirt I guess. The trick is for you to find a NICE woman ... | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:47:27 PM | | Honestly, I don’t think that women give a flying **** about other peoples feelings, but their own. I’ve seen several woman whining about, how it’s so hard to find a real man, when let alone they’re right in front of them. It seems that this isn’t the site to find much of anything, besides stuck up, and insensitive people. Am I, the only one that feels this way? I had this one woman, that told me that she wanted to have a child of her own, and wasn’t expected to be ovulating until the 14th, and from what I gathered, she’s not seeking a long term monogamous relationship. It’s like what the heck! By having a very honest profile, I seem to attract all the wrong type of women. However, my best advice to you is to give up, as there’s a lot of fish in the sea, but off of here…… | |
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kdykaz
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Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 581 | |
| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 2:59:51 PM | | men and women on here just seem to lie in all diff ways,, they dont seem to want what they really put on there profile,,, i hav now decided that i will never meet some1 who is like me and dosnt lie on what i want | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:11:46 PM | Women don't respect nice guys. Women do not respect nice guys.
Women love nice guys,and like to be around them up to a point, but are hardly ever attracted to them. When you give, and give, the woman takes you for granted. It's not a matter of appearance neccesarily either. I'm sure you know a few guys that are less than attractive, and borderline jerks who never seemto have a problem getting a date. Trust me it's a respect thing. I'm not saying be an ***hole, although sadly that works slightly better than being nice. What I am saying is if you are a nice person, just be that. Don't go out of your way or break your back, or your bank 'trying' to be a nice guy. You'll end up in the 'freind zone' almost everytime. Asking a woman advice on this topic sounds like a perfectly good strategy. Find out from women whatthey want. Unfortunately women often don't tell the truth about what it is they want, Sometimes because they don't want to look like a slut. Often, they say a lot of the same things. It's kind of a collective aesthetic more than it is an individual opinion. (in my opinion). In other words, they say what they hear other women say. Sometimes ,frankly, women don't have a freakin clue what they want. This is why a lot of times they just say the stuff they hear other women say. You gotta ask a guy who's gotten past this problem how to get over this hump. Besides, if you went deer hunting with limited or no success, would you ask a deer how to hunt itself..... or a successful hunter? think about it. Divorce yourself from the outcome of situations w/ women. Do you, hell that's what they do. Show some backbone, and some pride. You don't have to be a jerk, but for GOD's sake dont be a puppy,marshmallow,doormat either. They'll love you for being that way, but practically NEVER in a romantic way.
I'm speaking from experience my man. I WAS you. I did the buying shit,and calling, and telling them they're beautiful etc. I had a whole bunch of women freinds,still do, but no girlfriend. I made a switch. I'm still a nice guy, I'm just not overly concerned about proving it all the time. A woman can either get with it or not. That attitude ,I've found for myself anyway, is more appealingg to a larger number of women. For me even some of the same 'friends'that weren't interested in me'like that'before. I'm not bragging but I can count on at least ,one sometimes two, or more women who want to spend time with me NIGHTLY.I'm not a player, just a bachelor. I don't lie, or mislead anyone. I don't have to. Neither do you my friend. This can be a reality for you. You just have to get in a different headspace. I know you have some buddies that are decent w/ women. Do what some of the things they do. Some of it may not seem natural for you, but try it. You'll fail a few times, but whats the difference.I mean what you're doing now isn't working either right? Try it, fall on your ass, get embarassed, and then.......get over it. When you come out on the other side you'll see w/ clarity how strong and powerful you can be. YOu'll notice how your inner vibe will change . You'll notice that women will treat you differently.Without comprimising your intergrity, or kissing some ungrateful chicks ass, only to have her dump you or tell you that she just wants to be 'friends'. | |
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kdykaz
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Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 583 | |
| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:18:02 PM | | i hav to say im one women who wants a nice guy and cant find him its only the losers i find can saw how i feel but cant use swear words lol,,,, i mean is there nice men left? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:28:12 PM |
because she enjoys having many men get wobbly knees?
because she is learning to treat herself really good, so the men who do are just dispensable icing on the cake?
because you are too willing to give up your power to have her in your life, and she doesn't admire you for that?
I could go on and on, but I think you catch the drift, yes?
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:58:56 PM | Fellas.....please "WAKE UP!" When it comes to women.........."ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE" I see these posts........over and over and over, the same old question.....from different men:
"Why do women like jerks....why do nice guys finish last?"
Listen guys.....just because a woman tells U she wants a nice man.....doesn't necessarily mean she subscribes to her own rule of thinking! It's kind of like the person who says: " I want to be a millionaire" but yet they do absolutely nothing to make it a reality!
Over the years, I cant tell U how many women I've met, dated, or casually talked to that have been in the same "typical" scenario with a bad man. The story goes like this: The EX treated them like dirt, he was mean to them, he used them for $$$, he cheated on them, he lied to them, he physically abused them, he verbally assaulted them, he broke down their confidence, he was unemployed, he lived with their parents, he had many children with different women, he doesnt take care of his own children, he has no drive, he has no ambition, he wasn't even attractive looking etc..... have any of U guys met a woman that has said these things over dinner/ lunch about the last terrible man they were involved with?? and yet if U ask these women: "If the guy was so bad why were U with him?" Most of the time they cant honestly answer why, or they tell U they were in love with the guy, or there was just something about the guy that they couldnt put their finger on.... Uhhh Hello.........it's called "ATTRACTION"
And Fellas here's the reality.....it doesnt matter if U look like Brad Pitt, or Denzel Washington it doesn't matter if U are the nicest man in the world, it doesnt matter if U have as much $$$ as Bill Gates, or a body like "Arnold" It doesnt matter if you are physically "endowed" like the guy in the last "porn-video" U rented  It doesnt matter if U shower a woman with compliments, or buy her whatever she wants.....When it comes to women......"attraction" is not a choice. There's a reason why they say "Nice Guys Finish Last" because they dont finish 1st!  Soo for all U guys out there wondering why "the woman of your dreams.....is not into U and into the "bad boy" take a look in the mirror......stop acting like a wimp, be a man.....if the woman isnt attracted to U....thats her loss, stop trying to buy a woman's feelings...be true to yourself...furthermore.....stop being a human "doormat" for women! Now Im sure some women will want to take jabs at what I'm saying and hey to each their own! Everyone has their opinions.....my opinion is directed towards the men who dont understand why they keep coming in last.....while the jerks and the jackasses keep coming in 1st  | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:29:14 PM | It's this simple:
Guy walks past her and trips... falls flat on his face.... She pisses herself laughing.
Guy walks past her and trips... falls flat on his face.... She rushes up and asks if he's ok.
Difference? In her view the first guy is a dork. The second being her idea of Brad Pitt.
Same goes for the chat up line: same chat up line by two different guys. She slaps the first guy (or ignores him or..) but swoons at the other guy who uses the same line.
It's called physical attraction and chemistry but women very often try to suggest they are far more broad in their choice of men than men are of women. To some degree yes - programmed since the dawn of time to find a provider and protector. Whereas men get this "name" for being superficial yet we're just simpler. We don't look for any other elements such as "what does she own or what can she achieve" we just look at her. Sure, it could be her body, her smile, her sensuality, her mind, her spirit...whatever. But it is just her... nothing else.
Sorry went off the topic a little there in the last paragraph but it's connected. :-)
You walk a "tightrope" buddy. coz men these days have to play "bad guy/good guy" and we don't know when we have to play each one. Women expect us to "read the signs" otherwise we're "idiots". LOL | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:57:39 PM | I think what many women find attractive in a man is excitement. A guy does not have to be a jerk to be exciting; and likewise, a nice-guy does not have to be a doormat either to be nice. What does being a doormat have to do with niceness any way? A guy can be nice and also be alot of fun to be around. He can be respected and admired just for being himself. Like I said before, a man with self-confidence can practically sweep any woman off her feet.
When someone likes another person, it is because they like the way that person makes them feel about themselves! Unless a person is a masochist, most people enjoy feeling good about themselves, and the people that they choose to be around only reinforce this. It does not matter whether one is male or female, everyone(well most people any way unless you are a sociopath) desire to love and to be loved. That desire is a basic need that we all have. This should not be viewwd as a weakness, but something that makes us human.
I realize that loving another person is not without its risks. It requires a degree of vulnerability, which to some, makes them uncomfortable. But nothing wortwhile in life is without its risks. We take risks on every thing else, why not love? What does not kill you only makes you stronger. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:14:36 PM | | I agree slightly! Then there are women who have been in stormy abusive relationships that have learned "the hard way" that a nice man is nothing less than a blessing from GOD! | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:23:59 PM | | Perhaps these women had to learn the hard way because maybe, just maybe being mistreated is all they know. Perhaps their fathers mistreated them while growing up. Perhaps they have learned to associate abusive behavior with love. This can happen with guys too. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:35:00 PM | | Nice posts, likethewind, and I agree with you completely. It's about the way a man makes a woman feel about herself. If a woman has poor self esteem, she will not be able to allow a man to be too kind to her because she will not feel she deserves it. If he really likes her, she must think there's something wrong with him, because she doesn't think that highly of herself. It's the "I don't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member" syndrome. I know I had to heal some very old wounds in order to let a good man into my life. Before that, I didn't even notice these guys--they were just not attractive to me. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:51:14 PM | The "women don't like nice guys" thing has become a cliche.
"Nice" is often a label for men who've lost their edge. When a man becomes a "Yes, Dear" guy, he begins to appear some combination of boring/needy/weak ... and when a woman feels like she needs to be the strong one in the relationship, she loses respect (and attraction) for the man.
Granted, you can find plenty examples of nice guys who've been left by women, but in most cases, the issue isn't exclusively about his nice-ness. In my experience (personal and observation) women are simply attracted to strong men ... men with a strong sense of who they are, and have their own path. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:00:41 PM | Scottish Warrior,
I think for some women, just like it is for some men they love the thrill of the chase and when they have them then the challenge is gone. I have to tell you though that no "challenge" is gonna stay by their side in the good and bad times or hold them after a long day or be there to share a laugh when they see something funny. There is something so wonderful about a man that get wobbly knees. That is a beautiful thing in a relationship. I hope you don't ever give that up or try to change. I guarantee you there is a woman out there that will love you and appreciate you for just those kinds of things and that kind of relationship is worth searching for. You sound perfect. Please do not let women that aren't mature enough to appreciate you change you. You are a treasure and I wish I knew where you were to prove it to you. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:19:09 PM | | I am sorry you have been hurt in the past by some women but do you really not realize that your attitude about women in general now is so bitter that you probably scare all women off? I have been in both types of relationships and I left the guy you treated me bad and I married the man that respected me and whose knees got wobbly every time he saw me for years. Alot of things happened and I was very sick for a long time and he left but I have two childeren who are my life and I have stayed alone for 7 years because I will not settle for a mean man or a "fake" nice. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:22:25 PM | rochester63...you hit it dead on...
It has become a cliche and I am tired of whiny "nice" guys.
I really like a decent, nice STRONG man who genuinely gives without expectations. A woman feels loved and cherished when this kind of man genuinely goes out of his way for her in spontanious ways. In return, he is happier than a clam that he has made her eyes and smile shine for him.
When a nice wimpy man dates a woman and then she regretfully tells him that "it's just not there for her" and he gets all piss*y and angry with women in general, it is very unattractive!!
I have had my share of this kind of man and it has made me very wary of "nice" men who don't radiate strength and confidence in themselves.
I read forums on here about angry men who did something out of the way for a lady and because she didn't reciprocate in a manner that was expected, they go off and spew terrible crap about how much time and money they spent on her. Call her a golddigger!!
We ladies don't have to internalize this. I still expect to be treated as a lady and I will respond very nicely to a man who is a gentleman...and a real live man. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:04:26 AM | | Like they say - All's fair in love and war. Women do claim to want nice guys , but they want what guys want - respectability and quality. A doormat guy or girl is not desireable. Romantic love is not family love at the start. They call it wooing for a reason. That said, its a catch-22 because men need SOME woman to take the risk on them. When I was at my hottest, I could have lots of women, but I wanted the absolute hottest, who are either super savvy or just super b*tches. Women can say they are sensitive, but they all turn to mush around wealth, or status, or fame, just like men turn to mush around superfoxy model-types. Women are human, not superhuman. US women are overly picky just like some US men are. We're spoiled people. I'm lucky to know a woman near the top of my wants in the hotness dept, and she's got a great personality. You have to be open to what comes your way and you MUST go for it. You also have to make yourself as desireable as possible. Be glad you dont have to do what women do. You have to accept who you can attract, and you have to realize romance is not a RIGHT, but a PRIVILEDGE. Women are in it for different reasons, notably PROCREATION, and their agendas are mostly opposite from yours. This being true, treating women too well or too poorly is not a predictable exercise. Avoiding the topic of sex and romance is a great idea, though. Let them get there on their own. I know many studs that got women by being funny, sociable, and gregarious, not demanding, pushy, and aggressive. I made some aggression work, but it makes women diss you as well, so nix that. So yeah, the less you care, the better. The best cure for too much need for love or sex is to spend time on career, family, friends, exercise, travel, education. Do these things, and you will cross paths with hotties, and then you can talk to them casually, and then their pants may just fall off. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:12:40 AM | | it'd make life too simple. women want a more complicated life and if that means being a single mom wandering about to find a man in her life, it's more exciting than to have a trustworthy man always being there with her. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:34:57 AM | Some comedic genius happening in the last page or so...not much actual conversation it seems, but a lot of gems! Let's review...
Many want a man or a dog as a fashion accessory someone who matches their shoes and accessories.
Project "Nice Guy" Runway?
women DO NOT essentially want a guy that is too nice. This is because overly nice guys tend to be overly sensitive, hence being a homo.
LOL...
would rather date some big tall dark guy who beats them and gets them mcDonalds isntead of Fridays and hugs.
What does food have to do with anything? LMAO
I did, drove all the way to O'hare 2x through 2 of the worst snowstorms there & back both times, she was only here what maybe a month before she found the next guy, I just don't understand.
Weather conditions and travel have nothing to do with attraction...example of "I did this and got shit for it"- so don't do stuff like that.
I had this one woman, that told me that she wanted to have a child of her own, and wasn’t expected to be ovulating until the 14th, and from what I gathered, she’s not seeking a long term monogamous relationship. It’s like what the heck!
Um, huh?
Listen guys.....just because a woman tells U she wants a nice man.....doesn't necessarily mean she subscribes to her own rule of thinking! It's kind of like the person who says: " I want to be a millionaire" but yet they do absolutely nothing to make it a reality!
No, it means she wants a nice attractive, available, confident man. The nice is mentioned, the rest is a given. Being nice alone guarantees you nothing (but hopefully the good feeling you get from being nice _ REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME).
Guy walks past her and trips... falls flat on his face.... She pisses herself laughing.
Guy walks past her and trips... falls flat on his face.... She rushes up and asks if he's ok.
Difference? In her view the first guy is a dork. The second being her idea of Brad Pitt.
I'd still laugh if Brad Pitt fell, but I digress. Yes after I found out he was ok I'd sleep with him if he asked...you bet. That has nothing, however to do with this thread.
Keep the jokes coming, guys. You're all awesome. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:38:39 AM | Why do women dump nice men?
Want the completely generalizing and obvious answer that you probably already figured out for yourself?
Most women are absolute idiots. I'm sorry but you can't get any more correct than that. See, girls always go for the jerkballs and sleaze bags like me or some of the other guys I know. Then, they wonder why they get beaten down like Tina Turner all the time. Perhaps YOU never giving a nice guy a chance is a reason. Women will come with that same stupid excuse, "I'm just not attracted." I'm calling BS on that one. A lot of them are attracted to me and I'm a completely evil person most of the time. How can you be attracted to that yet not be attracted to a nice guy?
Any women who can't agree with that is simply full of it. Plain and simple. I've done the research to know this. They want the jerks. They want the cheaters. They want the womanizers. They want the men who beat the hell out of them. They want to be talked down to. There, I said it and I don't give a crap who doesn't like it. It's what NEEDED to be said. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:56:33 AM | Mistapepperz...
There are all levels of attraction.
You have only found the women who like to be walked on, beat on, used so that they can be angry and stay angry. Take a look at the simlarities in the women you attract. Start a journal. You will see that you are on a hamster wheel...same type...same type...same type...
I, for one, cannot ever be attracted to a man who is not genuinely good to me.....from the first e-mail, meeting or whatever.
If he feels fake, I know it. I can also feel in the first date how a man really feels about women in general. There are misogynistic men out there who can be smooth as honey, but they radiate a certain stink that makes me back off.
But then, I am a good woman..inside and out!!
(Never mind the debate on a "good woman").
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