| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:23:00 PM | I do exactly the same. I run away from men that are nice to me and treat me the way I should be treated. There are a few reasons with my experience why I would run
1) if he was being nice he "must" expect something from me (which isnt true with all males)
2) Ultra-catious with males as i have not had good experiences
3)low self-esteem maybe..I dont feel like i deserve any better
I am one that has always chosen the "bad boy" type of guy that treated me horribly. To me, I just dont know any better. Just dont give up, because there will usually always be a reason why she runs. Maybe she is scared of commitment or getting a broken heart? I always run when Im starting to feel my heart beat faster than normal and then I push them away ...Fact is, a woman that runs, misses out on the great men. Which sure sucks for me lol | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:41:16 PM | | You can't blame yourself for every relationship failed. Love is more then just a physical attraction its a spirital and mental one as well. This attraction needs to be felt by both partys otherwise the relationship is doomed in the end. Being nice or not doesn't come into it if she just didn't feel the same way you did. Don't worry your know when youve found the one its just a matter of time. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:41:34 AM | Because no amount of "being nice" will have any affect on a woman who's not attracted to you.
Accepting of course that by virtue of being "dumped" one had to have been attractive enough to have originally been had.
Mean & stupid women is probably the thread subject here...
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:09:18 AM | Bottom line is this - No person wants to date a person they are not physically attracted to. That MUST be there or the rest is wasted. It's the truth and no man I know would willingly date an ugly women or hugely fat woman just because she was nice. It's chemistry and mutual physical attraction that allows all the other things to work. Men should not be saddened or frustrated if they cannot win over a lady with gifts or sweetness or nice gestures....those things are very nice and very important. But without the important basic ingredients to start with...I don't see how things can go very far.
what do we all want (or maybe this is just me)? We want our mate to be within a certain age range, someone we are attracted to, someone who will make us laugh, someone with a job and who is independant. Someone honest and sweet, maybe even romantic.
I think there are so many different kinds of people out there that we can each have almost exactly what we want.  | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:09:24 PM | It's the truth and no man I know would willingly date an ugly women or hugely fat woman just because she was nice.
Sorta...
I know of women who are like this & have absolutely no problem(s) gaining (among other things) male attention...
Any cute-ness, covers a multitude of sin(s)... .
Anyway,
Testosterone isn't easily dissuaded;
it's forward motion, direct & not easily stopped...
Oh well, women rejoice...
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:42:30 PM | | You made some great points. I wish I had read your post a few months ago. I moved too fast, told her I loved her about one month into our relationship, and scared her off. Even though she's told me that she loved me too. But I didn't argue (much), didn't ask for a second chance. I told her that if that's the way she felt, I was going to have to accept it. Now, we're "friends" but it's really too hard for me to see her. I'm going to break off contact and just get over it, take my lumps, and move on. It was wonderful while it lasted, and no one can take that away. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 1:30:49 PM | Oh, "Why the heck not"!..Maybe the good ole boy thing is jus boring the crapola out em..
What is a POV woman.. ..Yeah yeah Im being a smartarse.. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 1:34:15 PM | someone we are attracted to, someone who will make us laugh, someone with a job and who is independant.
Don't know of any1 who is independant, less for Deity, not 2 many that aren't in debt either...
Don't know if guy(s) find wallet fingering sexy....
My cousin did, she screwed them of course...
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 1:44:55 PM | Damned if you do; damned if you don't, eh OP?
At work I work with a lot of women (hundreds of 'em) and if you're a bit cheeky to 'em they'll love you for it.
Today I had a lady in the office and she was wearing a fashionable cardigan but it had big holes in it so I started teasing her about paying big money out for a garment that had holes. Did they charge more for things with bigger holes in them or less?
Then I song a song to her I call the 'blame song' (I made it up) which virtually says she was to blame for all the ills in the world and how everything worked fine until she showed up. I nicknamed her Miss Scapegoat and she left laughing her head off.
There are other ladies who I give emotional support to when they need it and sometimes I just sit back and let 'em yap without saying a word.
I have a lot of woman who come and touch me when I've helped them and then I'll announce 'I'm being touched, get security'. Which just encourages them more. So I complain louder.
Sometimes when they come to me for sympathy I don't give them any and I tell them straight. Here's the thing - I'm supportive but I would never in a million years say I'm 'nice' because I'm not.
I don't actually care if women find me attractive or not. I find the more 'impressive' or 'nice' you try to be the more they don't trust that kind of stuff. Have you ever heard a man tell a woman she should go out with him because he's 'nice'? I have.
Pass the sick bucket.
If a woman were to tell me I should go out with her because she's 'nice' I don't think it would have any affect on whether or not I wanted to date her. It's a very neutral statement.
There are a lot of women not attracted to me and when you go speed dating like I do you see it in their faces before my backside even hits the seat.
It's taken for granted we'll be 'nice' but it doesn't make any difference to attraction.
I've had a young lady after me for ages (she's too young for me) and it started with her asking me if I was OK on a daily basis and me continually replying 'terrible, it's so bad I can't talk about it. Don't ask me about it; I don't understand why you keep asking'. She finds it hysterical.
Since then she's asked me about marriage and all kinds of things. Two years that's been going on.
I think you need to try different approaches OP. The comments about 'looks' are true but I find that women are mostly attracted by personality and it pays if you're around a lot of them for long periods of time to find that out. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 2:10:41 PM | | Why Do women dump men who are nice to them lol why do men be nice to woman then forget them after they say they can't have sex? i was talking to a sweet and nice guy on here well i thought.anyways after i told him i can't go to dinner and a motel with him i'm history | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:03:03 PM | | I am afraid it goes both ways Scottish, I just broke up with a guy I was with for a year and he not only walked out on me but told me I couldn't be trusted. I had never lied to this man and was always faithful and over looked it when he was trying to control me and seperate me from my friends. I even lost friends becuase of him. I found out that he was playing around on me behind my back and had scared off some of my friends because he didn't want to loose control of me. The kicker is though that it was an on line relationship that he had me convinced that we would have in real life soon but he found that it is not so easy to control someone who is a distance away from you, so he started seeing other women at the same time we were together and then he let me go when he found one he liked. I was dating on line because I thought there was a better chance of meeting someone who would not do things like that to me because I thought I would find men in the same boat as me. But it does't matter they are on line as well. Bottom line is, there are nice women who want to be good to a guy and nice guys who want to be good to a woman, they just don't seem to be able to get together some how lol | |
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| Men do it to nice women too
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:06:52 PM | | I am afraid it goes both ways Scottish, I just broke up with a guy I was with for a year and he not only walked out on me but told me I couldn't be trusted. I had never lied to this man and was always faithful and over looked it when he was trying to control me and seperate me from my friends. I even lost friends becuase of him. I found out that he was playing around on me behind my back and had scared off some of my friends because he didn't want to loose control of me. The kicker is though that it was an on line relationship that he had me convinced that we would have in real life soon but he found that it is not so easy to control someone who is a distance away from you, so he started seeing other women at the same time we were together and then he let me go when he found one he liked. I was dating on line because I thought there was a better chance of meeting someone who would not do things like that to me because I thought I would find men in the same boat as me. But it does't matter they are on line as well. Bottom line is, there are nice women who want to be good to a guy and nice guys who want to be good to a woman, they just don't seem to be able to get together some how lol | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:50:20 AM | check out my profile willsfriend
i don't sleep with anybody that i don't want absolutely
no one has ever dumped me
i never cry over men
i don't care what they think of me but rather what i think of them
i'm soft underneath but YOU"RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT in what you say - why won't my stupid ass girlfriends listen?
it's basic psychology 101 | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:03:35 AM | | True - if she treats you bad she doesn't want you. let them come to you. then you know she wants you. after that if she gets nasty, coldly inform her that you won't be coming around until she has an attitude adjustment. And walk out. Grab your balls. Remember you're a man not a poodle. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:56:24 AM |
There are many women who do that because they have been in stormy or abusive relationships in the past. There are simply some women out there who are overwhelmed and don't know how to react when someone is nice to them
Women are drama seekers themselves. They are always envious of their female friends, fighting about this, that, crying for this little reason, for that little reason etc. If some guy is not giving them a reason to cry or reasons for her to say to herself "how miserable her life is" then nice guys are boring, there is no attraction, there is no chemistry etc....
If women did not like drama, there would be no soap operas. Think about it. A nice guy is the furthest thing from drama. He is boring, whiney, he does all they want, he tells them nice things, he is detail oriented, and for women, this means he is desperate, so he does not stand a chance.
Women want to always feel like there has to be drama so that they can be there to try and "control" the situation. They need that illusion of "I can change him, or I can change this situation" or stuff like that. When they realize that there is no way to change things (or men), then there is another reason to say that all men are dogs, and to keep crying. Remember, they love drama. Without drama inducing males, they can not make their own soap opera, so you nice guys will always finish last.
Whether they want to accept it or not, they still want that macho man to make them feel feminine, and put them in their place.
That is women. Otherwise, players would not be so successful with them. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:23:48 AM | oh yeah right and you're a real smash hit out there i can tell....
yeah just spread the joy around eh? couldn't leave it at "maybe misguided or stupid"
grrrrrrrrrrr | |
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