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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.      Home login  
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 Marie88
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 51
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.Page 3 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

Don't you know that the real way to a woman's heart is to punch her teeth in? That really gets them goin'. Guys that beat thier women are never lonely. Also try cheating on them, lying to them, and/or knocking them up. They'll be yours forever!
The reason this works is because women are fundamentally stupid. Like dogs, they'll only listen to you and respect you if you beat them and yell at them constantly.


You ignorant male chauvenistic PIG!

How dare you make such claims, have you ever thought that some of us women do not trust Mr Nice guy, and that most "nice guys" turn out to be morons like yourself.
I have been in a couple of relationships where the men have been nice to start with, but soon as they think they have you wrapped around their finger, their attitude changes. And no I never stayed around for any punchup outcomes. Damn its morons like you that stop women dating the "alleged" nice man.

Punch me in the teeth & il have you down like a ton of bricks with my machette!

 maryrachelle
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 52
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:23:03 AM
Yeah you would cut and paste to try and make it look like that is all is all i said.((((( What kind of tard thinks it is ok to put your hands on a woman?What kind of man equates a woman to no more then a dog?You are a fool because in your twisted and sick little mind you believe your disgusting views.)))))) This is what i said that you conveniently left out .

Why don't you go back to beating up your imaginary girlfriend since those are the only kind of girlfriends you will ever have. No doubt you are the type to kick puppies and kittens too.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:56:19 AM
You should tell that to the women that I have zero interest in, and still don't get the message. They either think you're playing hard to get or like "stoic" types, when I'm being stoic simply because I don't care to continue.

Works both ways.

No, YOU should tell those women that. "I have zero interest in you and you don't seem to be getting the message." Don't leave it to the imagination of those women - if they like you they will take it as coyness. Let em have it. I mean I like to approach men too, but I have a built in knowledge of knowing where to stop. Once I give them a CLEAR signal that I am interested and an open to pick up the ball...and they don't, I move on. A lot of women don't realize men jsut don't play hard to get (if interested), that's specifically something only women do.

That goes for men too, if you don't tell them you don't like them romantically, they either get angry at you, try to find out why and fix it, or say ok and agree to be friends and secretly hope you'll change your mind someday (my favorite). You have to tell them that they can't - it's just not going to happen.
 ketch
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 54
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:18:35 AM
Can we merge this thread with the "Why do men only chase b*tches" thread and then we can eliminate the sexist remarks.

Attractive and nice are not the same thing. In fact they made a country music song a few years ago that summed is up. "she's not pretty, just looks that way on the outside."

Ketch
 ubermensch71
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 55
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:23:32 AM
there are a multitude of reasons why a woman will be attracted to a man,as i have said in previous threads,if she is mature she is ,in my opinion,more likely to say "i go for the person rather than the looks"which equates to,in plain english "im losing it a bit (looks wise) so i will be better off going for a guy whos well off"which makes men think that if their really nice to the women then she will respond positively(because SHE JUST SAID LOOKS DO NOT MATTER!!) so in effect women nearly alway give mixed messages to males as to their "conditions" of the relationship.think about this carefully and it is rather commonplace in the real world.basically i think it is hard for women to choose sometimes so it makes sense to me that they stick to the basics when it comes to choosing a guy (like ive said time and time again-looks ,status,money you no it makes sense girls so why deny it)
 Greneyedgold
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 56
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:46:01 AM
Simeonsonnow on messages 38?
I think yours is 38-really good post.
I am sorry about how the long-term friendship ended for you, but really glad you posted this message.
And to the other poster- a woman , I think-who I should remember your nic as I read your posts alot-,but on how guys do not play hard to get. It helps remind girls that , if a man is ignoring , then move on and replace, for he must have, and takes a lot of confusion out for women daters.
I know it does not pertain to orig OP, but I enjoyed reading those messages alot.

Thanks for the reminder Simeonsonnow about the ,"spark" and about not wasting time , if ,"your efforts are not being acknowledged and being returned in kind..."

To the orig OP, I still think it is all about chemistry and not based on someone not liking a person , who treats them nice.

Gren
 Cyrus982
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 57
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 2:36:45 PM
::yawn::

"You ignorant male chauvenistic PIG!"

I see a lot of name calling, but not so much explaining how I'm wrong.

"I have been in a couple of relationships where the men have been nice to start with, but soon as they think they have you wrapped around their finger, their attitude changes. And no I never stayed around for any punchup outcomes. Damn its morons like you that stop women dating the "alleged" nice man."

You're the type of woman I'm talking about. Too retarted to tell the difference between real nice and fake nice. Woman get wet for that fake nice that jerks lay down, while real nice will always send them running for the hills. Thanks for proving my point.

"Punch me in the teeth & il have you down like a ton of bricks with my machette!"

Again, every woman I've ever met has said something like this, but they still continue to date jerks who do these things to them and they never once take them down like you claim you would. They mostly just go down on them.

It would be nice if you girls would stop attacking me and realize that you're part of the problem...
 matskiuk
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 58
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:22:22 PM
i see it as some women like a bit of roughness/snap in a guy, doing the lovey dovey thing is good, but not all the time, i dont mean doing the dirty or upsetting them, just be random in a way, other wise itll start to be the norm, and expected

i was like that with an ex, did everything for her, looked after her and helped look after her 3 kids, they even called me dad!!, setup home with her, told her she was gorgeous every day, bought her flowers every week, told her i loved her nearly all the time (well i did), and she left and went back to where she came from leaving me with nothing but emtpy heart and home
 tjlazah
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 59
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:30:58 PM
I recently had a similar situation check this out. I was semi seriously dating this girl who I really liked and she had a back yard that needed a lot of work. She always talked about all the work she had ahead of her and what all she wanted to do, and being the nice guy that I am, I offered to help. She was reluctant to accept it. Every time she talked about it I just smirked and said, I offered to help you know! She said she cannot put me to work in her yard, that would not be nice. One day when I came over she was working and I again offered to help. So I did. While working in the yard I made a comment "You know, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I did not help you with your back yard?" Her reply? "Um... The normal kind?"

Nuff said! I learned my lesson right then and there!!!
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 60
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:26:32 PM

No, YOU should tell those women that. "I have zero interest in you and you don't seem to be getting the message." Don't leave it to the imagination of those women - if they like you they will take it as coyness. Let em have it. I mean I like to approach men too, but I have a built in knowledge of knowing where to stop. Once I give them a CLEAR signal that I am interested and an open to pick up the ball...and they don't, I move on. A lot of women don't realize men jsut don't play hard to get (if interested), that's specifically something only women do.

That goes for men too, if you don't tell them you don't like them romantically, they either get angry at you, try to find out why and fix it, or say ok and agree to be friends and secretly hope you'll change your mind someday (my favorite). You have to tell them that they can't - it's just not going to happen.


Excuse me?

I DO tell them that, and I don't play hard to get. Some people simply do not get the message until you cut them out completely.

Do I have to relate several stories for you? I have no problems in doing so if I have the time.
 Quest for Love
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 61
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:51:36 PM
greeneyedgold explained it the best out of everyone here. what she said is time honored experience and wisdom. ask the old happily married people who KNEW they were right for each other right away.

cyrus is the kind of example you don't want to follow because you'll end up in jail for murder.
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 62
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:33:50 PM
It has been stated over and over... women dump nice guys for the same reason guys dump nice women... THEY ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM.
A very basic lesson to be learned in life... NOT EVERYBODY IS GOING TO LIKE YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE NICE. Liking someone doesn't mean you want a relationship with them either.
Being nice is not all it is cracked up to be. Overbearing and domineering is not seen by all as "NICE". Many men who advertise themselves as being "nice" need to reassess that definition. Same goes for women who feel the need to advertise themselves as nice. Quality shows without advertisement.

There seem to be some extremely bitter individuals screaming the poor me's through this thread. That alone is cause for many to run for the hills.

And before you all start calling me a B I T C H .. yes.. I am but that doesnt mean that what I said is wrong. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. I would rather be alone than be with someone for material or superficial reasons. Women in this day and age are far more independant and self-sufficient than in the past. Men need to realise that women don't need to be taken care of and treated like simple minded creatures who can't take care of themselves. Relationships are more about partnerships these days, although from what I hear there are still a few June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson clones around who need a big strong man to take care of them and provide for them and keep the boogeyman away.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 63
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:35:46 AM
although from what I hear there are still a few June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson clones around who need a big strong man to take care of them and provide for them and keep the boogeyman away.


More than you guess. And I'm not into them, either. Let them find someone else to pay the tab. Many people are just suckers.

Unfortunately, there are several women that want it both ways---equality when the paycheck is received, but chivalry when the bills arrive in the mailbox. You can't have it both ways. You're just living a lie, and when someone claims the tired, "I'm a strong, independent woman" and is funded by an ex-husband, a current boyfriend, and The State, it doesn't sound very true.

I'm all for women in the workplace and carving their own way, it's a wonder why I don't meet enough of them. I'll give them credit far more than the "rescue me" types. The latter is a turn off, no matter how good looking they might be.

As for protection, I protect myself quite well on more than one front, and don't need a sugar mommy to guide me. I haven't met one yet that shared my vision. So be it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 64
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:06:20 AM
Excuse me?

I DO tell them that, and I don't play hard to get. Some people simply do not get the message until you cut them out completely.

Do I have to relate several stories for you? I have no problems in doing so if I have the time.

I didn't think you played hard to get, I just figured you were doing the ignore thing most men do as they are usually trying to avoid hurt feelings. Sorry from your post it seemed like you weren't telling them straight out. My mistake.

I don't know maybe say something to them like "get away from me or I am going to contact the police"...I don't know. I had a guy who tried to get me to change my mind f0r two years and date him...nice, fun to hang out with at first but just real arrogant; ugh not my type. No matter what I said it didn't matter. A couple months ago he finally stopped drunk dialing me in the middle of the night, I hope he finally got the hint, but I am guessing he found some other poor girl to bother. I guess some people just like to torture themselves, what else could it be?

And before you all start calling me a B I T C H .. yes.. I am but that doesnt mean that what I said is wrong. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. I would rather be alone than be with someone for material or superficial reasons. Women in this day and age are far more independant and self-sufficient than in the past. Men need to realise that women don't need to be taken care of and treated like simple minded creatures who can't take care of themselves. Relationships are more about partnerships these days, although from what I hear there are still a few June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson clones around who need a big strong man to take care of them and provide for them and keep the boogeyman away.

I won't call you a bitch, I totally agree with you - many people think attraction is a choice. Their response to you not being into them is that they can say or do something to change it, or that you can just change what you're attracted to. Really frustrating. And no, a lot of us don't need saviors, we'd like to meet someone just like us that takes care of themselves (yes, that we're attracted to). Sounds simple, but it's so tricky and hard to find. Weird.
 Malhavok810
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 65
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:37:13 AM
I use to think it wasn't because of being too nice yet my sister, sister-in-law, female friends I grew up with, etc have never disagreed that being "too" (relative term) nice to females actually drive them away. Some of them even have pointed it out. The girl of my dreams said "You did everything perfectly"... yet she isn't with me today.

"...kiss the ground she walks on." means "How can you like someone who kisses your ass?" my sister use to say when we talked about treating a girl too nicely.

You know what... it worked. Guys treat guys the way they are treated. Women are not the same. Treat women the way they deserve to be treated, not like how they or you think they want to be treated.
 dancecard
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 66
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:51:40 AM
Nice is not Enough

for her ~ or you

never has been ~ never will be

What is nice? opening doors? compliments?

Try more thoughtful & less nice.

Nice is a lure , thoughtfulness is genuine

Dar
 kenonline
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 67
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:09:55 AM
Women dump men who are nice to them for several reasons. Face it, it is not just about being nice. There is first of all the physical attraction. Dress for success, looking nice, clean and well groomed means you have personal pride in yourself and the woman knows that if you care for yourself, you will more than likely care for them. Then there is the facial expressions and the nuances of a man's voice. Poise and confidence goes along way to ensure to a woman who needs to feel secure can tell when a man has personal self confidence.
Face it, why would a woman want a man who could not tie his shoes? Then there are the body languages that communicate what a woman looks for. Size matters and too much flesh can be a turn off for health conscience women. Hair matters, eyes matters, lips matters, facial hair (Clean or cut) matters, body ordor matters.
Listen most women are very open to most men, but certain things need to be a priority and if you don't strike a match, don't worry, there are always plenty of fish! :) Ken
 Malhavok810
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 68
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:58:54 AM
Getting dumped is different than attracting. Since its about getting dumped, the OP and the girl, I assume, have already initiated the relationship. Physical aspects such as looks, attraction, hair, eyes, etc have most likely been addressed.

What is left is behavior and again, treat a girl how they really deserve to be treated (not treating them nice neccessarily).
 Poet102781
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 69
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 2:46:00 PM
OH CRY ME A RIVER.

The last time I checked im a man, why the hell would I whine about getting dumped?
So you were nice to them...BIG DEAL!!

Im nice to old ladies too, you dont see me crying into my beer talking about my feelings and how hurt I am...booo fcuking whooooo.

When has it become a custom for " men " these days to be so feminine?
Suck it up and move on Mary. Jesus Christo and the holy twelve....

I learn from every one of my break ups, and everyone Im a little less nice...it is working, but it has some downfalls.

I dont see any women leaving panty puddles over you crying like a B!tch!
 aikijin
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 70
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:02:33 PM
SW, You may never get the truth from a woman, unless she is very self-aware, and exceptionally honest.

It comes down to attraction (they all allude to it). It is, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending how you see it, all unconscious, animal level stuff.

Women like CONFIDENCE, BALLS, presence, power, prestige, money all these things, at an UNCONSCIOUS level, so no matter how much they may think they are above it, they are not.

You may not have much regard for hootchie women or sluts on a conscious level, but the right one walks on by at the right moment and you will be ATTRACTED. You can not help it. They are the same. In their own way about men. They are drawn to CONFIDENCE. And CHALLENGE.

Especially if they are beautiful, because, if they are beautiful, men have been kissing their asses all their lives, so they want to weed out the "typical" in the quest for the unique.

If you are too nice, without thinking about what you are doing, I know, you're just loving her, she will unconsciously interpret it as attempts to manipulate her or kiss her butt, and she will lose ATTRACTION and respect for you.

Sucks, I know, but it is true.

Another former "nice guy."
 Subotai
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 71
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:11:52 PM
the problem with so many so called nice guys..ia that they really arent all that nice...its more that they exhibit a "passive agressive" approach.

they will do all the "nice things"..but if at the end of it...you dont want to jump thier bones...well they get all angry and pissy and then thier "true"persona immerges.

Like has been said over and over..."nice is not enough".

Most so called nice guys seem to ignore that the "bad boy" might simply be more attractive physically.

The nefarious conclusions of nice guys that women want to be abused is a reflection on the fact that they are looking for the "easy" answer...which of course lacks any real understnding...and more often than not allows them to transfer "nlame" to "women" for being messed up while ignoring the real issue...ie...them.

No woman wants a man that she can walk all over or a man that lacks a spine...but at the same time....the only people who like abusive relationships are those that are "messed in the head".
 Tiga eyes
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 72
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:41:35 PM
Hi Scottish warrior

Personally i couldn't be with a man who wasn't nice to me. I'm looking for a man whose gonna be nice to me who i'm totally attracted to

I've met a lot of lovely men lately but i wasn't attracted to any of them so i think thats the key, women have to feel attraction first. Without attraction it doesn't matter how nice the guy is it won't work for her

Very simple equation really
 FabulousSmile
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 73
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:50:35 PM
@>>HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD HAVE HURT THIS GUY VERY DEEPLY. OH I FORGOT YOU ARE LIKE THE COUNTLESS WOMAN WHO JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN,

^^^ woohooo...i lost count how many times guys have put me in this position....and do they give a damn bout me...not one bloody ounce of consideration....ppspttt and do I care...not at all means they dont deserve the goodness of me. sorry bout that but woman go thru this same ordeal as well. (breathing now) Seems alot of men have been doing this for some time now to most of the woman..an now woman are being selective too and why shouldnt they be?

I'm okay hehehhe
 spiritfillup03
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 74
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:57:58 PM
Way to go MSG 9 INSURGENT 4 YOU !!!!! You hit the nail on the head!
 tanner
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 75
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/31/2007 4:13:29 PM
imo.....i think that if someone comes on too strong, that could send the other person running

personally i like somone who will open doors, and is able to have good conversation on the first few dates. i think flowers or gifts on the first date is a bit much.

be kind, complimentary. but don't comment on the same things over and over, it tends to sound fake after a while.

and please.....for the love of all that is h0ly......on the first date, try to keep your eyes on h*r face... we do know where you're looking....
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