| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:29:18 AM | | I love nice guys, as long as they are also reasonably smart, attractive, and have a few common interests. The niceness alone just doesn't do it for me. I've given a few guys a chance based on their "nice" personalities, but just didn't feel any attraction due to other things being missing. If I feel an attraction for a guy, he can worship me, and I will love it. I will worship him, too. Don't give up your niceness. Just find a woman who is attracted to you. She will appreciate it, as long as you are not too needy or co-dependent. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:29:39 AM | women dump men that are not nice to them as well
let me jump in the middle of this and say ~
if she wants to trade spit and will think about having your baby,..
she might daydream about what the baby might look like ~ if it could be.
these are women thats "not" dumping their man ~~ anytime soon.
The question you should be asking is; ~ how does a man find himself in that position?
You must ask the right question to get the right answer.
Dance | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:22:43 PM |
I did the same thing to a woman that was very nice to me and I did it three times but it was more timing then the way she treated me, timing is almost as important as chemistry for me anyway
That is sooo true, gerrysuper.....sometimes people just come into your life at the wrong time. I can think of many dates that never made it past first base....not because they were nice guys...but because that particular nice guy came into my life at the wrong time. A few years earlier or later, it would've been a completely different story.
I just got out of a relationship with a POF man who was always whining on the posts about how women didn't like nice guys. We were together 15 mos....eight of them in a live in relationship....he really WAS/IS a nice guy....but come to find out that he was also bipolarII and had no idea what he really wanted. He now doesn't think he wanted ANYONE-(after I moved 2,000 miles away!) So much for women not wanting nice guys....but I realize that my case was somewhat unique.
~DC~ | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:28:11 PM |
It's NEVER the "nice" part that women are rejecting, it's something else.
Never say never. I treated my ex like a queen, but every guy she was ever with before me abused her, and she couldn't get it out of her head that I was going to do it, too. She couldn't handle being with someone "nice" because she was so accustomed to being with men who weren't nice. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:53:21 PM | Well it's late and after one coffee too many I just had another revelation ...
Women do NOT dump men who are nice to them. Women who are not nice to themselves may .. but then, why would the nice men go for such women?
I better stick to decaf from now on ... *sigh*
the end.
:) | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:49:45 PM | | I think a very fair question to ask is,when a girl does not return the same feelings,does it also show that maybe they don't appreciate the nice guy for who he is? If so should it be reasonable for them to have to compensate for that,so as not to hurt the nice guy? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:02:49 PM | | We do it because we like to feel that you are being unreal! Come on, not everyone is nice as pie, so if someone sweeps us off our feet do you think that the girl is thinking this guys for real. Hell no! Everyone one has a mean streak! Be real the first time around cause everyone will expect you to be the way present yourself at first later in a relationship. So what have you learned from your experience by being nice? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:10:27 PM | yeah that is a joke......i decided to let somebody in my life and get to know him...........he "appeared" to be sincere. i watched his favorite list which 106 women had him as a favorite and he had 2 roses. one week later he was on 96 favorite lists and there were no roses left . i can say that no roses were sent my direction.
yeah NICE man????????? PLAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he kept his favorite list with "his harem of love" and did not like being busted on his "nice boy image"
this is not a man who was looking for a long term relationship as he has told me.
actions speak louder then words.
what a disappointment a dog and a fraud
he played on my vulnerability and trust
nice, eh? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:06:24 PM | | It has nothing at all to do with 'nice' and everything to do with attraction. How nice would she be if she 'settled' with you because you are 'nice'? Would that make you happy? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:10:19 PM |
When one keeps getting the same results, one needs to look at what they are doing, rather than blaming everyone/thing else.
I was like that for a long time. I always wondered what was wrong with the world, and women, because I would see these great girls I knew going out with these scumbags that treated them like something they scrapped off their shoe. I always wondered what needed to change in the world for a guy like me to get a girl.
Then one day I woke up and realized that the only thing that needed to change was ME. I had a very negative self-image, and was very shy and self-deprecating because of it. I said things like, "SHE would never be interested in a guy like ME." or "There's no way I could get a girl like THAT." I was akward and nervous around women that I found attractive, and was one of those guys that tried WAY too hard. Needless to say I got turned down, or "Friend Zoned" a lot. A LOT.
Of course women can sense this lack of confidence. It isn't attractive at all. It would be like a girl who is missing all of her teeth and is covered in warts coming up and asking you out. You would want to run the other way. You wouldn't be attracted to her.
You have to have self confidence, and you have to be able to project that self confidence to others. That's the main reason that "players" are able to get all of the girls. Those guys have a truckload of self confidence, or they at least make it seem like they do.
A lot of guys on here will say that you need to start acting like a jerk to get women to take notice of you. I say that's CRAP. There's nothing I hate more than the jerkoffs that do nothing but use women. If you wanna act like that, then by all means go ahead. You probably will attract more women, but it isn't because you're acting like a jerk; It's because you are projecting more confidence. Confidence is attractive.
You can get all the women you want, AND still be that great, nice, caring guy that you claim to be. Just work on your self image and your self confidence. Make yourself the best person you can be. I've learned that bettering one's self is the most effective way of attracting the attention of others. If it doesn't work for you, then hey, at least you made yourself feel better about you, and who doesn't want that.
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:49:31 PM | I will start be saying, I don't know all the details of you experience, but I will say a lot of times chemistry has a lot to do with it. I had the pleasure of know a man much like yourself who did everything he could to get me into him. We never really connected, so it wasn’t a case of dumping the gentlemen. I simply never really connected with him. He was relentless in his pursuit but I just couldn’t seem to connect with him.
Do you think maybe your issue was one of chemistry? Maybe you should re evaluate the situation. What do ya think?
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:50:04 PM | The question should be why do men SELECT women who are going to treat them like garbage. HEY maybe it's because they select on the basis of the degree to which they fit a specific physical package rather than character.  What a concept that would be. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:05:54 PM | Nice Guys should be dumped.
If you're a NG you need to find a woman who truly wants a NG. If you got dumped it's because you dated the wrong woman.
Sometimes women just want a guy who's not going to be predictable and boring. It reminds of of this one dating game episode
from way back:
The lady contestant is interviewing the 3 Bachelors. Here questions was something to the effect of
We've just broken up and you're trying to win me back. Let me hear your best way to get me back"
The first two Bachelors launched into this whiny song and dance begging her to comeback. The 3rd said
Baby baby baby..........BYE"
You can pretty much guess which guy she chose.
Some women feel like their men shouldn't whine or beg. They'll test you and the NG always fails with some women because he launches into the sappy whiny stuff that he thinks she wants to hear.
O | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:46:33 PM | ^^ Wow, good story about the bachelors.
***Some women feel like their men shouldn't whine or beg. They'll test you and the NG always fails with some women because he launches into the sappy whiny stuff that he thinks she wants to hear. ***
What I need is a man who tells me exactly the way it is and who takes control of the situation, but if he is the type who is too nice to take a stand and wimps out on me, it is too easy to walk away because I really need the man to take control and toughen up on me if that's what it takes. Nice guys can treat you well, but men who know to get a handle on things when they need to and tell you the way it is treat you well, too.  | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:47:30 PM | Try to be a challenge, keep it as light as you can, until she knows you! This maybe hard but she needs to converse with you and that is what she wants to do! Being to nice , turns most ladies off, she needs her thinking space too. If there is a "click with the body chemistry" we want to wonder where you are and what you are doing? Be attentive if she e-mails, have a sweet caring attitude when you respond. Flowers later, she needs and wants to know you first!
Good Luck!!
Onacarousel | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:48:39 PM | | Unfortunately, the truth is love between two people is just a game. And your ability to survive it and stay with it depends on how astute you are at playing the game. With your children, love is usually unconditional but with a man and a woman it's mired with conditions. Quite frankly, most love relationships are not meant to be forever. Love comes and goes and you work on it the best you can. However, if it doesn't continue to grow then it may become a burden for the other one. Physical attraction is important at first, but then that fades and you must be good at understanding the needs of your partner even if its contrary to what you want. It's sometimes like the old country song, "how can I miss you if you won't go away." | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:59:11 PM | yes, as soon as a man is nice to us we dump his a$$ immediately LOL
Sometimes a guy can be sweet as pie....BUT he's also controlling or manipulative or overbearing or so needy it can make our heads spin, a million things. THAT'S why we dump them... | |
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4ti2d
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Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 796 | |
| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:37:46 PM | | I heard this exact same thing from my ex when she filed for divorce. She wanted someone not so nice, someone who "takes control". I have heard the same from friends who are now divorced for the same reason. Do all women want to be controlled like this? Are you so lost in life that you need to be told what to do? That's crazy. Sounds like low self esteem to me. Venus must be a real odd place... I don't think I would ever visit. I am no longer a "nice guy". I'm not a mean guy either, but I just do what makes me happy. Remember... YOU are number one in your life. Don't be so darn nice. Stop it! Right now. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:42:55 PM |
The 3rd said
Baby baby baby..........BYE"
You can pretty much guess which guy she chose.
I HATE games, but that's very true, and I've heard that as advice from every other guy I've known. Even with my last LTR, it seemed like the less I wanted to see her, and the less I told her that I wanted to get together, the more time we ended up spending together because of her calling and saying "let's do this or that". | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:12:29 PM | ***I heard this exact same thing from my ex when she filed for divorce. She wanted someone not so nice, someone who "takes control". I have heard the same from friends who are now divorced for the same reason. Do all women want to be controlled like this? Are you so lost in life that you need to be told what to do? That's crazy. Sounds like low self esteem to me. Venus must be a real odd place... I don't think I would ever visit. I am no longer a "nice guy". I'm not a mean guy either, but I just do what makes me happy. Remember... YOU are number one in your life. Don't be so darn nice. Stop it! Right now.***
Wanting a man to be able to take control of a situation is not the same as women who want to be controlled. Big difference there. Do you really think that a woman is 'lost' in life, has no self esteem, and needs to be told what to do if she simply requires the man to have a backbone? That is a very unfair assumption in regards to independant women who know what they need in a partner. There are many women who are independant without the need to be controlled by anyone but themselves, myself included, but if a guy is going to shrink away at some point, any point, and continue to be the proverbial 'nice guy' instead of standing up to the plate, then that is certainly not the woman's area to deal with. That is simply an indication to the woman that he is not the type of man to display the strength in terms of standing up a bit taller and showing that he won't allow anyone to step on him. Who has the low self esteem?? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:08:15 AM | Think you hit the nail on the head there lady.
"but if a guy is going to shrink away at some point, any point"
you should discount this in the beginning I think, some guys are nice guys til they decide they like you. | |
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