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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:19:37 AM | Just be yourself , but if you're the kind of guy who goes overboard when he's in love then don't be yourself - study the laws of romantic physics ( the whole push/pull thing, give a bit , then hold back a bit, always leave 'em wanting more, be happy if you disagree about something cuz she'll consider you more of a challenge, etc...etc...etc )
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:44:34 PM | | Women don't dump men who are nice to them. They dump doormats and nice guys. Who wants a doormat something you can tread on. Nice guys do things with an ulterior motive, to be liked, to be taken out of the "friend" zone, to get an emotional reaction from a woman who has already told him no. Now a good man does nice things because he wants to, for his friends male and female alike. He gives and demands respect, he treats her well and expects the same in return. He is happy with who he is and has a moral compass. He doesn't cheat or abide them in his life. When men realize this and stop treating women as objects of lust or trying to hold on or control her, they will become the good men women want. As to the mind games, people have discussed, it's a waste of time and effort. When you play games, it's no longer you and you have surrendered your right to be called a man . Bob | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 12:12:25 AM | I think it depends on if you mean nice or clingy. Clingy is not good, and often some of the "nice" guys appear to be clingy. I had a boyfriend once who had to be around me 24/7. He was always calling my roomate and suitemates, wondering where I was at any given time of the day. Then he would track me down.Needless to say, this got old.
But if a guy is a nice guy then he needs to have his own life and let the lady have her own, too apart from their relationship. That's what attracts a lady, I think is having the same values and goals, chemistry, but having that much needed space in a relationship. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 12:51:13 AM | | It depend on the woman true woman wouldn't if your soulmates they won;t. Anyone wishing to tell me what they think Can email me (Sara) at simpleserenitydesires@hotmail.com if they like. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 5:42:23 AM | | Most girls that don't speak up for themselves lack confidence and will do anything to keep their man... this is pathetic, and vica versa- I believe women get bored with "Yes Men" hence some women lookout for extra marital affairs... personally if I had a nice nice man I would treasure him forever. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:55:53 AM | well, most women tend to like the tough guys that treat them like crap and think the nice guys are wusses....kinda silly.
But i personally prefer to be friends with a woman before anything more and get to know them and i have honestly become attracted to a female friend i had a while back, because we had so much interests in common, same type of movies, video games and lots of other stuff, sadly, fate was against us.
anyway, its just stupid to dump someone for just being nice, REALLY stupid. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:03:15 AM | | Nice is not enough, there has to be physical atraction. Men and women are both guilty of being attracted to someone that is not attracted to them and trying that much harder to be nice and do nice things. they think if I am nicer or do more than the other person is going to come around and appreciate them and love them back. It doesn't work that way, most times when someone starts the full court press, the other person starts to freak out and completely backs away from the situation. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:20:39 AM | I have to agree with you. Especially with the too good to be true part. Last year I fell in love "Head over heels" with a guy that was so good to me. He booked my life with cruises and trips and concert events. He was good to my family. But as the months went by he was obviously having other problems. Bottom line he was BiPolar. He had all the problems that went with the disorder, drank too much, gambled and spent money like crazy. He then fell into utter depression for no reason. I had met him during an "up time" manic, but when he crashed it was not pleasent. Sweet guy ...I still miss the happy him. And yes, I tried to help him, but he was in denial most of the time.
I had to detach in the end, it was consuming my life as well.
So the Broken Heart is my companion now. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:38:39 AM | | Because women like men who do not supplicate to them. 'Nice' is a nominalisation. It has no real meaning. I suspect this man had 'low self esteem'. That is, he did things to please her, to make her like him because he needed her praise and approavl to feel good about himself. He came across, unconciously or not as needy and weak. Women like men with a strong reality, who approve of themselves. A REAL MAN in other words. You can be kind and not be a wussy boy. By the way he should make her feel wobbly. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:56:49 AM |
Treat her nice. Do things for her she says no man has done before? Get wobbly knees when she comes downstairs dressed for dinner and she says no man has ever reacted like that before... they just expect it.
Yet alas... not wanting this man who treats her so good.
I know the OP has checked out of the site; but I'm putting my answer here for any other guys who are confused about being "nice". Women don't like "nice" guys for one simple reason: "Nice" guys make a woman the center of their lives and convey a puppy dog eagerness to please and serve them. That's not what women are looking for from guys. They aren't looking for a servant, butler, or chauffeur. Women are looking for men. As a guy, you need to have your own interests; your own goals; your own likes and dislikes; and you also need to have the force of will to tell your partner what you think even when you disagree with her. Being "nice" usually precludes any of the above, and women can tell the difference between a strong guy who is being kind versus a weak guy who is being manipulative. There is a huge difference.
All you "nice" guys out there need to look up the word "nice" in the dictionary. Pay attention to the Latin root that the word comes from. There is nothing good or noble about being "nice". The reason I'm putting this out there is because I don't even have to worry about nice guys taking the advice and being better competition  . Some dudes are so broken in that even when you tell them the truth, they won't change. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:23:24 AM | When someone treats you poorly they attack your self-esteem. Then to regain your self-esteem you have to get them to treat you well. You do all sorts of nice things for them in the hopes that they will affirm your worth. And all of your friends will ask you why you like this dirt bag and you won't be able to explain it.
If someone treats you well you get your self esteem affirmed and, if you have low self-esteem, you have no further use for them and you dump them. The reason is usually feeble or you will pick fights to be able to say that it didn't work out. If your friends ask you why you keep loosing the keepers get into therapy, it's you not them.
That's it in a nut shell. If you want to know more do some research on sex addictions. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:55:00 PM | | Because she doesn't feel that you are the one. A woman can be with a guy for a while even though she doesn't feel that special spark. Just because he is there or she is lonely or she is needy or... whatever. But after a while, no woman will marry a guy if she doesn't feel the guy is the one. It really has nothing to do with you being nice or her looking for an a$$hole. Being nice doesn't automatically mean you are the one. That's just the way it is. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:56:34 PM | Women don't dump men who are nice to them, usually a "nice" guy...is someone who is being "nice" to compensate for something i.e. (has very low self esteem because: they're small down there, they're not what society says is attractive, they don't drive, don't have a job, just want sex, etc.) A "nice" guys is just being "nice" to get something out of you, and when that happens, they start treating you like crap. Or there are the "nice" guys that are so afraid of being rejected that they actually push you away with ooey-gooeyness.
I was in a situation like this where the guy was telling me he loved me within a week of our first and only date. He pushed too hard, and he, too called himself a "nice" guy. Little did he know that his advances made me want to throw up, instead of making me feel all romantic. Most nice guys I have met try too damn hard, immediately tipping me off that they are in fact exactly what I try to stay away from. Not only was I not physically attracted to him, but he poured on the romance crap...before we even went out once. He immediately started telling me I was beautiful at least 20x a day, which made me believe he really didn't mean it. And on the first date, he brought me a stuffed animal with his cologne sprayed on it. Which told me to run the opposite direction.
What women are looking for are GOOD guys, not "nice" guys. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/21/2008 10:44:47 PM | | And thus, that is why guys turn into jerks. The females have conditioned the nice guys to turn bad and not let their heart ever enter the picture. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:07:30 PM | Its the law of attraction..I have met some very wonderful men but no matter how nice they were or the flowers or candy they presented to me, if there is no chemistry, no attraction is going to keep me going out with them..The same thing goes for men, i have been very nice and crazy about them and treated them like a king, then BAM !!!
Its the same old book, When they aint into you, they aint into you...Just move on and keep the faith................ | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:29:10 PM | Ex-nice guy? you most likely were'nt nice to begin with as zebras don't change their stripes. Maybe your 'kindness' werent what it should have been. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/22/2008 11:42:27 AM | ...... I opt out of "the rules", for the sole (heh, that's the prefix of my user-name) reason, that I'm happier just being me.
I hold contempt for people to no end , who date/seek attraction/look for a relationship based on "the rules". The only rules that matter, are deceny, and respect. Every thing else, is BS (how many scientific/sociological experiments have been done to prove exactly that ?)
Who made these rules ? Furthermore, why are they so important to daters/relationship seekers, that often times you anbandon who you are, to "up your (<<<< haha love the way I play with words) attractability" ?
Remind me (whoever finds said person), that I need to shake the persons'/gorup of persons' throa....er, hand that is. yeah. hand.
I'm don't use nice as a weapon. It's who I am. I'm jubilant beyond physics highest degree, to learn that that's percieved as negative. ~Selah
I can't be stained by what jades the masses. Why ? Because for better or worse, I'm too busy being me.
~Sw22
Then again, I'm but one fish among millions. What do I know ?
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/22/2008 12:05:53 PM | | Yeah, women want so badly to be with the guy their attracted to, and probably go through countless nice guys to get there. "I want a cowboy, or I want a guy with a motorcycle." Then, when they find him, they'll want to change him into a nice guy, and it won't work. In the end they'll wish they had a nice guy. So I say who needs 'em? Be with the person who wants you for you. Yes, its screwed up, and your heart is bound to get riped apart. Chivalry is dead because women killed it. And thats the God's honest truth. Good luck man. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/22/2008 12:20:50 PM | Nice guy / nice woman, it all boils down to; if theres no spark, it doesn't matter how nice you are!
I spent 8 months with a "NiceGuy"
after he dumped me for someone else, he kept making late night calls , just wanting to get "some" then he dumped her & tried again to get back into my pants, now he's with someone 10 years younger than him & still trying to make booty calls with me..... | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/22/2008 12:48:16 PM |
I spent 8 months with a "NiceGuy"
after he dumped me for someone else, he kept making late night calls , just wanting to get "some" then he dumped her & tried again to get back into my pants, now he's with someone 10 years younger than him & still trying to make booty calls with me..... I just don't get how the description of the jerk would coinside with the topic about nice men??
ohh, I got it - it's broken hearts forum. Well, you do expect that such an assh*le would dump you eventually for a more fresh&cute piece of meat, wouldn't you. | |
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