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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:11:29 PM | if i actually met a nice guy, i wouldn't dump him... i'd actually thank god that i found him...because i have this secret power... i attract ***holes... i want a NICE guy. Every time i think i have found one... that secret power rears its ugly head and does me in once more.
example: i received an email from a guy, we chatted a little, immed, spoke on the phone, he said that he was coming to town Saturday, he called me and left a message (Thursday) for me to call him back, and when i did he said "can i call you back in 5 mins?" well, that was two days ago... guess i can write him off, huh? (duh!!) and yes, the day he was coming to town ends in 2 hours(it's 10 pm) ... so i guess that there is no date... and you wonder why i am so biased and want to wait to see if the guy is for real? I have learned the hard way not to count my chickens before they hatch.
example: i received an email from a guy that had a lot of tattoes... My father actually talked me into going out with him... he picked me up so that we could run errands together... he actually stole $300. How's that for a jerk??? and... he called me back.
example: met a guy on here... we emailed, immed, chatted on yahoo, met for coffee, he cooked me dinner, we ended up spending the next two weeks together... he was awesome... turns out, he peed on my truck... YES, HE PEED ON MY TRUCK!!!! then, he called me back, wondered why I didn't answer his phone calls. I told him what he did, he said that he was "marking my territory", and when i explained that MY truck wasn't his territory, he told me that I was... he even offered to let me pee on his truck, said that would make it okay....
and that was just three of the wonderful, amazing guys that i have met on here... and these were the ones that managed to get thru my defenses... and into different stages of a relationship...
So, see why i want a real, nice, honest, wonderful man? And, why I will probably need a little time to make sure that my curse isn't still following me around. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:35:54 PM | Give me a nice guy that I want to sleep with or have "chemistry", then I am committed for life. I find little boyz not men. Winey wimps.
They want to play~~~~~~they don't mean what they say and they make excuses to keep the rope loose or an ex girlfiend "actively" in the picture.
There is no 100% committment.
So, I am fishing | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:40:39 PM | you know what i find interesting and kind of sad...I was talking to a lady friend of mine this past friday.. one that I've been hanging out with for months now and enjoy being with.
she talked about a guy she has been talking to for weeks now. It is odd, that in her own words he is nice and is fun to talk to, something that she has said about my own character and has felt that she can be "herself" in front of me...yet...there is a difference!
In her words, this nice guy is hot. She finds him interesting and seems to want to get to know him more. yet, something bothers me, I have the same character as this guy has, and yet in her own words " I only see you as a friend dude, and there will never be anything between us"
my one debating factor is that..I am nice too, and in her own words she can be herself in front of me..and yet...the other hot nice guy gets her attention ?
I am in odds to believe that women really want a nice guy....I think they want a "hot" guy who is nice.
I've heard it in the past as well, the whole I am a good guy...but " I am not attracted to you" script. .. this nice guy also has something interesting in his past as well..he used to be over weight and used to be ignore by women, yet!! now he is fit, and in my friend's opinion, "buff". ... am i to believe that women could be this selective then?
if that is a fact, then I rather be single for a while, even when i reach my fitness goals. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:01:10 PM | No one can accurately answer this question, as well as the majority of other thread
posted on this site. You give your side ; the good side.What iswrong with these
women?
there are horror stories created by a woman who meets such a 'nice man'
so everyone and anyone can rush in here ranting and raving that they have
the almighty correct answer!
Maybe this woman seen red flags.........and she didn't second guess herself.
maybe she didn't. Maybe its just a case of 'she's not that into you'
maybe not.
Iwonder what so many posters' are hoping to achieve by giving their blind
opinions without having all the info necessary to accurately ...................
give a response to this question.?
its a place to vent, to feel important,a place to release ones' tensions?
aplace to belong.........yet truly not belonging.
You all know what I am talking about don't you?
alot of people need professional help on these sites, and they are seeking answers
from the same.
analyze that! | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:08:51 PM | ^^^ yoo hoo mr.nice guy?Are you the nightmare hunter, or the nightmare, Ipreviously
described......Onlyhad to read a couple lines to know your not nice!
'I am a nice guy' She was very needy' interesting isn't it.
You are so insecure ,you do not have a clue what you are,as you combine Your
compliment of yourself, followed by a dig or put down of a woman.
get it? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:16:05 PM | I know that too. HI everyoone. just a few lines. I was in relation with a woman of 30 years old and me 44, i know but # a number. everything was doing wright for her to be treat like a real woman. Her ex: was in jail since january about, and we start in february. I do for her because i want to do ,everything to feel how to be love, to be thanksful,respecful,trusty,honeesty,and my soul.But everything has and ending hey. The day her ex: get off the jail she didn't want to see me at all, or talking with, she was kind of piss at me. WHy? i din't know until i ask her the ultimate question and she said yes his here.i was shock because we were together since february until the end of August and everything was awesome. I propose her like when ny birthday gone a come next month on the 22. And Sorry i decide to move forword,for wht she chose, ----HIM- that s....,but i try to talk with her and sometimes she was answering because i know he wans't theire so it was the only times she was calling me. after 24 hours with her, he start again to run her life. SOrry but that what she want to have a kind a life like tat ,no mercy. but i realy do love her and want her back right away. but for what's happen, once is enough ,i dont want an other hard times like that.
Inconito.thanks. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:26:07 AM |
I am in odds to believe that women really want a nice guy....I think they want a "hot" guy who is nice.
This isn't really a breakthrough....of course he's got to be "hot" to us (excuse me, just as the woman in question is "hot" to you, or should be if you want to date her). Maybe not to everyone but certainly to us. Nice alone just doesn't cut it....attraction is key if you want to see someone as more than a friend. Honestly, how is this news? It's common sense.
Lord knows that more than enough women have said this in numerous threads posted over the last....couple years here. By now it should be a given that you'd expect it. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:43:49 AM | | Well if the 2 are already a couple then the attraction is already there...now if he let's himself go...like grows a huge beard and does stuff to lose the attraction of his partner then that's understandable...I think it's more of either she's not ready for a guy that's that nice ooorr...she may of found someone who looks better or can provide her with what she wants but eh would be better off to just ask her why she dumped you instead of speculate | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:42:47 AM |
Yep, we bore them. If I hear someone tell me again what a nice guy I am I think I will throw up. Or, Sweet is the other word that makes me want to upchuck. I wont play games and pretend to be someone I am not. Someday, somewhere, somehow, never going to give up.
Nothing wrong with being a nice sweet dude. Just don't be the boring nice dude. For a girl to be attracted to you she needs to subconsciously see that your not a boring predictable guy. Predictable is not fun. There are girls that are looking for Predictable. There usually have some self esteems issues though. They would would rather be with someone then be alone even if the relationships not great. Guys too do that. I hate how I see that all the time. I would say 60% of all couples are in that category. My advise to people like that is to not settle for you insecurities. Set standards for yourself and never break them.
This is straying from what I'm trying to say about what you said though. For someone that is labeled as a 'nice guy' there is a cure. You don't have to do a lot of changes to your personality as you might think. For the most part all you have to do is be a little more interesting with who you are in terms of your social status. What I mean by that is how to stand in the word and get compared. Long story short with that what I'm saying is do something that you really enjoy that will give you status. Join/play a sport, get into a club/group of your interest, volunteer your time to something you find fun, have a fun hobbies, or anything in other words that's makes you outgoing and interesting. DON'T be the guy that wakes up, goes to work, comes home expecting dinner to be made, tinker around the house and go to bed 7 days a week. BORING! | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:24:13 AM | I think the attraction is part of it but I feel its boredom that a nice man gives the woman.
Most women want a nice guy so they say but in the end most of the relationships do not work out. I see most women are attracted to somewhat aggressive or somewhat violent men.
Women need some kind of excitement in their lives .Us nice guys just do not give them that and they get bored rather quickly and move on.
There are a few rare Women out there that actually do want a nice guy and those a few and far between. I think from my experiences and what I have seen its like 95% that gets bored and 5% that actually want the nice guy.
This is why most of us nice guys will probably stay alone.
I have dated a lot of women that said the wanted a nice guy and have seen others like me go through this as well.The women are attracted to us then quickly it turns to boredom for them and king us to the curb. Even where there is chemistry the results are the same again most of the time.
Like on that show The Mask with Jim Carey
Nice guys like us do finish last
most of the time. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:35:44 AM | Sometimes, the women simply does not know how to appreciate the man. Maybe she has not lived long enough or had enough experiences with men who treat her poorly.
And sometimes she is not attracted to that man at that time, and that could for the same reasons as above. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:09:52 PM | | I don't have an answer except that I just dated a woman the other night and she said that in her opinion most women want a "bad boy" or a"Challenge" I don't get it myself, maybe we need a woman's perspective on this? | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:06:12 PM | | Oh tell me about it, I think I should take a hard line and rascal approach next time because being nice has led to my demise and her going off with a much younger guy!! But why should I change, not every woman is the same! Well I hope they ain't?? lol | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:57:57 PM | personally I can seem to find the men like that. Tell me where they hide?
I seem to find the ones that want everything thier way and Yes I will be honest I want to feel like I am being spoiled. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:29:39 PM | It is all about chemistry. Do I want raw dirty sweaty animalistic kinky wild sex with that man
or does the thought of kissing him make me want to """"puke"""""?????
Let me make it really really simple.
Want to play little boy???????  | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:39:34 PM | | It has nothing to do with how "nice" you were , its just that she is just not into you, deal with it. Dont take it personally, you cant make someone like you romantically. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:49:42 PM | God 39 pages of sh*t on this and still nobody gets it. Women want men, men that are good not "nice". A good man knows to do the right thing or even nice things for friends and women. He is nobody's doormat, he's not compliant like playdough.
He has respect for his woman and expects the same from her. He has his boundries and will not allow them to be crossed. That isn't a bad boy, that's a man. Any woman who wants a bad boy, you should pass up, your not a fuvking boy, your a man.
It isn't about sex, although that is part of a healthy relationship. It's about honesty, trust, understanding, respect, love and being yourself, not what someone else decides you should or could be.
Don't you get it, she wants to know she can depend on you, not that your nice. She wants to know you'll do what you say, not come back with some BS excuse later, or fail her at a critical time. DON'T SAY IT, DO IT!!!!
Oh, and one more thing, you can date all the women you want, if she isn't attracted to you, you can stick nice up your azz. She has to feel it, just like you do. This isn't hard or rocket science, it's basic chemistry, if you both feel it, you be a man, it will work. Think about it, Bob | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:11:09 PM | Sometimes certain 'nice' gestures cannot make up for the lack of 'necessary' gestures. I don't suggest being mean, but there is a loose list of pluses and minuses in any relationship. Sometimes we are willing to overlook a few minuses if one of the pluses is really really really great; and of course, the reverse may be true.
For example. A classical pianist with a good sense of humor who could dance...pluses so great that I could overlook a lack of skills in cooking and housekeeping--hey he was NICE! But no "relationship" evolved: there was TALK about us coming together as a team, but it was barren soil...his life was HIS, there was no accountability to US.
As a counterpoint, another example: a guy who spoke plans of marriage, house buying--even brought presents back from his overseas business trips, even went to church with me. Great! The problem? He didn't OWN the house he lived in; he rented it. He had 4 cars in the back yard--none of them ran. We went skiing--I picked him up at 9AM--but when I arrived, he was asleep on his couch in the clothes he'd worn the night before. I went to "his church" with him, and the minister introduced himself as though he had never met this member of his 100 person congregation. That was the last straw.
Both were nice, didn't swear, didn't have anger/rage issues...or did they? Neither one was capable of making a plan, or even living up to a simple agreement of a mutually enjoyable date. How would we weather the tougher goal setting/achievement negotiations of a REAL relationship? Both gave lip service to wanting a relationship, but not one that I wanted to be part of. I would have been the mother, caregiver, manager. There was no foundation of an "us" -- in other words, we didn't "click."
Age does make one pickier. When you're 20, a bookcase of bricks and plywood is to be expected--I've outgrown the idea that this is the "survival mode of new (divorced) bachelors"--for those who have expressed bitterness about $$, well, I gotta like having the guy in my home, and I gotta like being in his...teenage style furnishings are indicative of arrested development somewhere. Gotta love the person. Also, expressing bitterness is a healing we should do BEFORE we enter into dating.
Sure, some are dating to have fun, or for sex, but some of us are looking at long term prospects, and I'm talking about a quality of life together, not taking someone for a financial ride (goes both ways, you know). There has to be some degree of equality in expectations: the guy has to WANT what I am, and I have to want what he is, what he wants to become--how he wants to spend his days, his free time, his --day-to-day experiences need to mesh with mine--there has to be a common goal, and achievements. It can take a minute---or weeks or months to figure out what is missing--and these were two circumstances when I avoided ending it at the first hint of a mismatch--I would have saved everyone a lot of time if I had, though.
So here's a "nice" gal...and I think these two examples show guys don't really step up to "nice," either. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:12:59 PM | I have noticed one thing (it's not a rule though so feel free not to be offended) those who call themselves 'Nice guys' with the big 'N' often are just the guy with most boring personalities and life stiles.
Well now maybe that's the true reason why those boring, excuse me, nice guys get dumped?
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:58:08 PM | I have met a guy is who is nice to me... and funny thing is I have no desire to "dump" him.
If someone doesn't want you because you treat them well, that's not someone you want to be with anyway.
In fact, I believe there are many people that don't really want anyone at all and find any reason to rid them of the possibility of risking getting close... and maybe being hurt.
If you're in the fearful, bitter and/or angry category, this is you... | |
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