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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:33:47 PM | Don't forget the fact:
GUYS, NEVER TELL A WOMAN THAT SHE IS YOUR EVERYTHING.
Women claim that they want good guys who treat them nice but it is a naked lie. They end up f'king bad guys. Guys, always show the woman that you have nothing to lose. You can live with or without her. Women love challenge. Bad guys know how to challenge them by not giving a f'k who they are. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/5/2009 5:46:12 PM |
GUYS, NEVER TELL A WOMAN THAT SHE IS YOUR EVERYTHING.
Women claim that they want good guys who treat them nice but it is a naked lie. They end up f'king bad guys. Guys, always show the woman that you have nothing to lose. You can live with or without her. Women love challenge. Bad guys know how to challenge them by not giving a f'k who they are.
I agree with you kick0009.
A common mistake that most so-called nice guys make is that they say they NEED a woman.
This is a (kind of) child-like mummy-I-want-ice-cream behaviour which women find unattractive. I'll take your advice more often now, and I will remember not to give a f**k about these women who think they're so hot and will have men falling at their feet.
I dare them to try me, cos I don't really need them anyway. :-) | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/7/2009 11:41:08 AM | | I really can't understand why so many men attribute the failure of their relationships to their 'niceness'. Lots of relationships fail and there are plenty of other reasons. Silly little girls may not want nice men but adult women do. The problem may not be that they don't want a nice man but that they are too desperate for a nice man. So when one comes along they ignore any lack of attraction and throw themselves into a relationship hoping the attraction will grow. And then when they finally have to accept that the attraction will never develop, and they break off the relationship, the man is left complaining that he was dumped for being nice. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/7/2009 7:34:05 PM | "Why do women dump men who are nice to them?" This is the million dollar question that most men never figure out. Women usually say they want a "nice" guy, but have you noticed that most women date "jerks"? Why is that? This is something that used to confuse me to when I was young. The fact is that most men fit in one of two categories. Most men are either complete wussy nice guys or they are real jerks. What women really want, is a man who is in between. The problem is that most nice guys do not show confidence around attractive women. Most nice guys are insecure or at least act insecure around an attractive woman. This is a turn off to most women. Most nice guys are usually clingy and act needy around a woman. They usually let the woman take the lead which is also a turn off to most women. These kinds of guys usually will follow a woman around like a puppy and will agree with anything the woman says or wants because of fear of being rejected. The irony is, by acting this way, you will usually be rejected by a woman and not understand why. There is a lot more to it than that. But that is a big part of it.
So most nice guys just end up being "friends" with the girls they like. I've heard a lot guys say that women must like being treated like crap, because they usually date the jerks. That is not true. Women are usually attracted to jerks because these type of men are usually very confident, they are not needy or clingy, they take the lead and act like a man, they are a challenge, and sometimes mysterious. These guys aren't begging for a woman's approval like nice guys are. These are some of the main reasons women usually date jerks. Unfortunatley, then they have a guy who might lie, cheat, neglect them, beat them, or just not relationship material. So a man has to learn to be somewhere in the middle of a nice guy and a jerk. Be polite, be a gentleman, dont lie, don't cheat, be romantic, like a nice guy should. But don't be begging for the woman's approval, take the lead, and show some confidence, and don't be a push over. And you have to be INTERESTING as well. Women aren't attracted to boring guys.
The truth is men are mostly visual. The most important aspect about a woman for most men is her looks. So we think that women think the same way. Some women do, but most women are far more attracted to a man's personality than his looks. So you can be an average or even below average guy and date beautiful women IF you have the right attitude, confidence, and are interesting. If you don't believe me, just go out to a bar or club sometime. You will see some attractive women with attractive guys. But you will mostly see a lot of attractive women with average or below average looking guys. The guy might not have the looks, but I bet he's got the personality. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:13:16 PM |
I'll take your advice more often now, and I will remember not to give a f**k about these women who think they're so hot and will have men falling at their feet.
ghostsjapan , it happened to me. I learned from that ever since. I loved the woman, treated her like queen, she was my first priority, called her every morning and evening to say hello, gave her my love, trust, everything.
Then guess what? I later found that she is seeing a jerk!!!! the guy with no job, a drunkard living with parents. Gosh! I was shocked. I confronted her and she had nothing to say. Although they didn't sleep together yet, it changed me completely. I forgave her and since then, I don't care any more. I treat her like crap, I stopped being thoughtful, being nice, being available everytime she needs me.
Guess what? She is the most romantic, honest, caring woman since then. That makes me ask myself: "How come she never been this way when I was a nice guy?" The answer is "WOMEN DON'T WANT NICE GUYS" | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:11:35 PM | | From a woman's stand point. I can only speak for myself of my own experiences. Wounded people tend to attract wounded people. They feed off of their misery together so to speak. So one or the other if not both, tend to think they can fix the other person.,when in reality, they can't. The only one that can fix you is you. I learned this the hard way many years ago. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:20:30 AM | 4. Don't make promises and keep them all. Break some. Disappoint her. That makes you a man with confidence and options
That makes you a liar and NOONE likes a liar. Why not try being confident, mature and honest?
jeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz! | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/27/2009 12:35:59 PM | Ive gotta be honest, ive not so much experienced the nice guy. The only guys ive been in relationships, all but one have been truly terrible.
I dont know why she dumped you, maybe she wasnt attracted enough or maybe she just felt she could not be in a relationship but from someone who knows. I would be honoured to be with someone who is as nice as you appear to be.
Dont feel to down, you will meet someone eventually who will truly appreciate all these things you do.
xx | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 2/27/2009 1:36:18 PM | | We need to first out law the term "Nice" from the forum unless someone is talking about someone or something outside of themselves and two we need an official site count of all the times people have used nice guy or gal to describe themselves.... | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:22:00 AM | It is really good question. I am in the same situation like you. I do very nice things for my partner, cooking every day for him, I treat him like king and he doesn't deserve it. I am feel unhappy and frustrated. Probably because everybody has difference priorities in his life. My priority is good relationship, it means to be not only partners but to be the best friends, to be open to each other, never to lie. My partner is cheating me, but I am live with him just because I don't want to be alone. Your partner probably cheat you too and you don't know about it. It is very bad partner for life, try to find somebody else, you just lose the time with her and every day you can get to very deep depression what is very dangerous for you. In my case is a little bit different. I am not Canadian origin. My partner and me are from the same country, we are European. For me to stay alone in this big country is worse than dead. I am not sure if you understand me. So, if you are Canadian or you have some big community here you have any problem, just leaves this relationship, try to find somebody who evaluates your treatment. I would be very happy if I find some man here like you, it is something like a dream. I met here some men like garbage /just sex and money that's the priorities/ So, that's for now.
Have a great day
Eva | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:00:16 AM | Not a lady, but it's been my experience that women like me when, yes, I like them, but also like myself, when I have a shred of confidence and independence that says "while I enjoy you very much, I have other things going on in my life that bring me pleasure, and I will keep on moving, either alone or with you". When a man is overly nice to a woman, it reeks of clingyness, and she simply can't support YOUR soul as well as hers. It's too much of a burden. But, if you both bring some strength to the table, then you're not leeching off each other but complimenting each other, and it's wonderful.
Men: Put yourself in the woman's shoes. Would you want a weak woman feebly clinging to you for her every need, or would you want a strong, independent woman who just gets lonely at times and cherishes your company? I'd like the latter.
I really don't think men are from Mars and women are from Venus in that regard. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/14/2009 1:13:15 PM | | I guess you have lots of varied responses and most will agree that it happens both ways round too. However trying to see as that person who’s not in mutual respect of their partners feelings are obviously the wrong one! | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:19:08 AM | I dumped a very nice guy. He would hold the door, bring me flowers, even wrote me poems.
I dumped him because he was a walking financial catastrophe. We also had opposing life goals. He really wanted to get married and have kids, I really didn't want to do either of those things. He talked continually about moving in together, even after I told him I didn't want to live with him. (See "walking financial catastrophe".) He was religious, I was not at all religious. He was really into things I couldn't care less about. He couldn't care less about the things I was really into. We only had superficial interests in common.
He was nice, but he didn't pay a whole lot of attention to what I wanted. HE wanted a wife and kids, and was going to do whatever it took to get at least one of them, even stay with someone totally wrong for him. And yet when I broke up with him, citing all of these things, plus my own feelings that he was wrong for me (which he was), he brushed it all off and claimed I was "scared" and "running away from my issues." That the fact that he was good to me should have been enough. Of course it wasn't!
I'm sure he still thinks I dumped him because he was just so nice and treated me so well, that it just freaked me out and I had to leave. The reality was that he was totally wrong for me on several levels, and I for him. Being nice had nothing to do with it.
Hell, you're SUPPOSED to be nice in a relationship, men *and* women. That should be a given. The fact that it isn't just proves how many a-holes there are in the world. It certainly isn't the one overriding factor that separates the wheat from the chaff. In addition to being *nice*, you're also supposed to be a whole person. Confident in yourself, able to live independently and be content, at least, even if you're not ecstatic at being single. A whole person is not dependent on others to define them or validate them. A whole person doesn't need to try to buy someone's love, or score points, or obligate a person to respond to you in kind. That's not nice, it's manipulative as hell. Being nice is the way you appreciate your partner and everything they bring to the table, and it should damn well be reciprocated or you should be out the door. And being nice is not the ONLY thing that matters in a relationship--not even close. Attraction and chemistry are just as important, but compatibility is the *most* important. If you don't have any of those, as many have said, being nice isn't going to do jack squat. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/22/2009 5:40:07 PM | We don't always do the dumping... a very nice, sweet guy I'm nuts about broke up with me today because I wanted him to get tested for STDs before I'd sleep with him... which, I know, doesn't sound so nice, but he really is. I think he's just kind of irrational on the subject. I mean, people don't break up rather than spend 5 minutes getting checked; it's weird.
I can't quite believe it. I keep expecting to wake up from this, or go back to my original universe where things are right-side-up, or at least have Ashton Kutcher jump out of a closet, but it isn't happening.
We talked and he will not reconsider. I'd take him back in a heartbeat if he would.
Sometimes even really nice guys can shatter our hearts into tiny little pieces and leave us to pick them up...
It isn't always women who make the choice. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/22/2009 5:56:19 PM | | Hi, Sorry to hear about your experience. I have to say, that I too, have recently been in that situation. I have came to the conclusion that people in general (not all) stick with people who treat them like shit. I was just dumped by someone I really liked and I treated him like diamonds. It all comes down to being a nice person, but not letting that person know you are so nice so quickly. I have talked to my many friends about this and they all say the same thing, you are too nice, make him chase you. I really am not into games at all, but the nature of the beast is that people like that chase, that thrill that comes with meeting and getting to know someone. I personally get that from riding motorcycles, going out, camping, and watching UFC fights, but it does make sense that people like the chase. On the up note, don't settle for some selfish moron who still isn't matured enough to want to be treated correctly, instead focus on someone who will appreciate you and value your kindness, as we are rare breeds these days. Good luck to you~ | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/24/2009 10:52:12 PM | | I just dumped a "nice" guy after dating him a few months. He was a generally good person. Treated me great, took me to nice restaurants, even gave me money etc. The problem? He was annoying. Nice guys have a habit of coming across as desperate. I can tell this man wanted so desperately for me to fall for him. He told me he loved after only a month. I would tell him I needed a slower pace and he agreed but then wouldn't listen and continued being nauseatingly nice to the point of annoyance . It became especially obnoxious after he was questioning why I wasn't as far up his ass as he was mine (not in those words) I couldn't take it anymore. Nice guys also have the tendency to be boring. Lack personality and are not funny. Women need some excitement. They will not fall in love with a nice guy just for being a nice guy. He has to have some other intriguing qualities or it will not work. Sorry, that's reality. So nice guys, if you are reading this.. continue to be nice. But have an edge. Have some mystery. Don't throw yourself out there on a platter and profess your love after 4 dates. Don't call her sweetie after every single sentence. Leave her wanting more and most importantly, have some personality. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:18:41 PM | | well mabe i am off base or mabe not even in the park with this one...but i really don't think so...you ladies say in some of youre profiles i want a man to treat me right be good to me...then when they do this... there to needy cling to much...how the hell do you exspect men to know what you want when the majorty of you don't know youreself...if you want somone to be good to you don't get mad when they treat you great...if you want somone to cheat beat or other wise be an a$$hole just tell them...mak up youre minds | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:28:39 AM | chris0107,
Apparently the fact that you didn't feel the same about this person as he felt about you didn't keep you from taking money from him or having him spend money on you...huh??
I have to still agree with you. I was that "nice guy" and it took me a long long time to learn to not put women on a pedestal. Now I treat women the same as I treat anyone else. Friends first. | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/26/2009 8:50:27 AM | The scenario you describe is a very common one. The only problem with "your" particular excursion as "you" so well described it is that you excepted all of the "showering" attention, (and no one really knows what that involved, and also what you were "giving" in whatever form, sexually, kindness, gifts, etc. in return ) and "continued" to date him "or" see him while excepting what he was showering you with.
With that said, if any woman (since this topic is about why "women" dump men who are nice to them) encounters a man who shows all of these attentive signs, does not feel that they are going to have the feelings for the gentleman, "or" who knows that men can be this way "down the road", "or" who are not physically attracted to them, chemistry, etc. "continues" to see the individual, excepting the showering of affection,
then their intentions from the beginning where not correct.
Any woman / man that has gut feelings from the beginning as to the questioning of their own feelings towards someone who is trying to court them should at that point take appropriate measures in distancing themselves in such ways that the opposite sex will see that there is a "slow-down-wedge" put in place to avoid these types of situations.
If you "allow" the individual doing the pursuing to continually shower you with love offerings, then you have become just as guilty as the individual trying to "buy" per say your love. The reason being is because are knowingly using the individual for what ever he will continue to give you "until" you've tired of him / her, leaving that individual broken hearted, because they were lead to believe you were truly interested in them, with a possible future at hand. Thus, they feel used, with a lot of "invested" time, feelings, money, etc. all for not.
Although the individual doing the pursuing by virtually trying to "buy" your love is wrong for not being intelligent enough to know that "true love" cannot be bought in any means, his / her feelings of being used and heart brokeness are in some way justified by the actions of theuser.
The GREATEST and HAPPIEST thing about this whole thing is: now get this!
"I'M" not charging any of you a thing for all this free counseling!!! Cool Huh?!!! LOL
I'm glad I could help all thjose who needed help! Ricky-poo | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:12:22 AM | I think a lot of guys confuse being a doormat and a stage five clinger with being a "nice guy".
Women want someone that can stimulate them, excites them in some way whether it be physical, emotional or intellectual. Also, mature women know the whole "nice guy" routine is just a show for most guys anyway and prefer to take a chance on someone that can be themselves instead of playing a role.
I mean "nice", its just so bland and boring. Do you worry about being "nice" when you are with your friends?
The whole term "dumped" even conjures up images of an early over investment of emotion. If you see a woman a few times and she doesn't want to see you again then it didn't work out. You didn't have a relationship in the first place to be "dumped" from.
random thoughts | |
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| Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 3/26/2009 1:37:27 PM | What you said could be very true. Some abused women actually are so brainwashed, they believe they are unworthy. So, when a nice guy comes along, they don't know how to act. Also, they have a difficult time trusting. So, it's almost as if they are just sitting in wait for the so-called "nice guy" to show a different side. It's a shame. | |
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Nice is subjective just like everything else in life. JMO 
