| | If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...Page 5 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | I had a friend who's girlfriend used to beat the snot out of him and then call the police and have him taken away for abuse. He's the one that would end up at the cop shop trying to explain what happened while she stayed comfy at home with a nice cold beer. Why he stuck around with her is beyond me. The point is, you need the whole story.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
--HERBERT SPENCER | |
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Anneta
| | Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 102 | |
| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:45:44 PM | It really would not bother me, because if he lives in a state like WI, all you need is a little verbal arguement and a mosey neighbor, and you can bet that either you or your spouse will be getting haul off to jail for the night. Actually, this just happened to my best friend a few months ago. You see, she and her boyfriend of about two years got into an arguement, and it was nothing more than a little misunderstanding, but anyway, the nice neighbor upstairs where she lives called the cops, and when the cops got there, he asked her if there was any problem, and they both replied that everything was ok. Well, then the cop said that since a complaint was filed, one of them had to get hauled to jail for the night. Well she was totally upset by this and told her boyfriend that he should have just let her leave when they started argueing. Well this perked the swines ole ears right up, and then he not only charged the poor guy for domestiuc violence, but also misdamenor battery and felony false imprisonment. Where all he did was when she wanted to leave, he grabbed her, gave her a hug and said, 'Please do not leave'. That was all he did, nothing more. What's even worse is that they both have a thing against each other so now they can not even see each other, even though they are both wanting to be together, it he contacts her or the other way around, he will get it for bail jumping. Talk about a screwed up world, welcome to the MANITOWOC COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT!!!!!!!!
So in my opoinion, I think the girl in this story should go with this guy and have a great time! I mean unless he looks like a crazy mean person, have fun. It is not his fault that the laws are as screwed up as they are, and my heart goes out to him seeing how the screwed up laws have basically ruined his whole life when it comes to meeting a nice girl.
Anneta | |
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Anneta
| | Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 103 | |
| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:48:37 PM | | I am willing to bet that the only reason he spent two days in jail was either because it was a Saturday night, no court until Monday, or he did not expect getting picked up for nothing so he did not savbe up for it, and he could not afford an attorney until someone bailed him out. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:53:28 PM | | I don't like nor care for women beaters but we are not getting the full story here so I don't like to passing judgement when only knowing half of the information. But let me also say, I can't really see any reason why anyone should lay a hand on another person unless they are force to defend themselves. So what I want to know is if she was hitting him in some sort of way that he had to restrain her? If not, I would avoid him at all cost. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:28:30 PM |
if there were marks on his ex's arms, he crossed a line. in a heated arguement, if he had needed to restrain her arms (for example, if she was hitting at him...wow, it's not like girls ever do that, right?), it seems to me that marks would indicate he used too much force
WRONG!
Sorry, m'Dear, I bruise VERY easily, and I know a lot of people who do.
And have you ever seen a guy in a position where he had to restrain a really pissed off woman? It's like trying to bathe a cat!
Try pinning down a tantrum-throwing toddler and you'll see what I mean. We can squirm and wriggle out way out of just about any grip, unless you hold on tight. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:32:41 PM |
this man admitted to being charged and spending time in jail
Two days. That would be the arrest and holding until arraignment. NOT being found guilty or even throwing himself on the mercy of the court. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:37:10 PM | I don't like nor care for women beaters but we are not getting the full story here so I don't like to passing judgement when only knowing half of the information. But let me also say, I can't really see any reason why anyone should lay a hand on another person unless they are force to defend themselves. So what I want to know is if she was hitting him in some sort of way that he had to restrain her? If not, I would avoid him at all cost.
Thats exactly the point, *YES*, if he flew into a rage and pinned her against the wall, that is abuse, and I would certainly advise any woman to avoid the guy!!!
But, we don't have the whole story. Suppose she was standing by the only door to the apartment (or room in a house), *her* in a rage, throwing a lamp and other pieces of furniture at him... and to get *out* of the situation, he pinned her against the wall, yelled "stop it, enough already, I'm outta here!" and walked out the door (hopefully planning on never going back to the crazy b***h!  )... her being pissed off anyways, all she'd have to do is call the cops, say *he* broke all the stuff and she has the bruises to prove he "assaulted" her, and he's off in jail for the weekend. Is that fair to him? And is it fair to him for anyone here to be judge, jury, and executioner, towards him *without* all the facts, based solely on "he spent 2 days in jail for it"? (as someone above said, all it had to be was a saturday night, no courts, he's in jail for the entire weekend).
What if the "facts" are, her past 5 relationships have all been filled with drama created by her, *she* has been arrested twice for domestic violence herself, a couple of assault charges from barroom catfights, and even charged with assaulting a police officer during one of them... and ok, the guy made a bad choice in women to date, protected himself and got "burned" because of it? Wait, would people's views of him here suddenly changed based on those facts?
edit: Heathenesque - YES! He was "arrested", that doesn't mean he was found guilty and "convicted". Seems a lot of people are thinking "guilty until proven innocent" is the way the law works... of course, given the recent court case of those lacross team players basically being "guilty until proven innocent", tried in the media, one might wonder about the state of our legal system these days... | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 4:39:15 PM | Broken record here: People need to be PICKIER.[/B]
*sigh
There are tens of thousands of men out there who have never put their hands on a woman in anger even once ... lots and lots and lots of good dudes to choose from ...
Choose one of those dudes. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:17:19 PM | | well i would never date another man who actley beat on woman.but if he was just holding her so she cold,t hit him thats a differet story.my ex beat me in front of my childern 4 no reson i never did any thing 2 him but love him.i never even called the police after he beat me.but thin agian i have a friend whos wife beat him.and if he tryed to hold her off she would call the police and get him arested.so yes man can get abused to. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:34:00 PM | | EastSideEddie: I agree with you, totally, no one should slap or punch his or her partner. It begins with a tight squeeze on another's arm, then a kick, then a hard push until the partner's self esteem begins to fall bit by bit. And that's why one stays; after years of abuse he or she leaves not thinking they'll have anything to give to another.....they stay until they have nothing left. TechChick, get a life, open your eyes, begin to read and read some more. Obviously you're looking at life through rose tinted glasses. Maybe you are one of those who hear stories of abuse and ask "now what did she do to make him do that to her". | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 3:52:42 AM | I would ask my partner to sit down and talk and find a solution to the problem
and if it fail I would pack up and be ready for the first bus in the morning
yelling ,hitting or throwing staff around to a woman is insane .
but in my home land if you beat up your wife and ended up in jail
you will have a few chances to get out alive
I will never yell or be mean in any bad situation to my lady
but not every one has the guts to take responsibility for their actions | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:28:52 AM |
I would never date guy that likes to beat a woman, I beat his punk ass before that happens.
so its bad a guy beats up a woman -- but your okay with yourself ( a woman ) beating up a guy ?
can you say double standard ?
can you say " do as I say not as I do "
rolls eyes in utter disbelief | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:36:21 AM | From the sound of the story, I still say that the guy was taken in as a preemptive measure.
A lot of places have a rule- if you call the police over a domestic incident, someone is going to jail. It might be the man. It might be the woman. But someone is going.
They used to say, "Hey, solve this problem, we don't wanna come back out here." But too many people wound up dead that way.
Lives are saved this way, but people that might not have done anything spend a night in the tank. I think that it works, but it leads to a lot of stories where people have to say, "I did this, and I spent a night in a holding cell."
I don't believe in physical violence, except for situations of self defense. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 8:10:58 AM | It was never the hand mark showing on my face, nor the bruised arms, nor the broken bones that caused the problem it was the person who did them.
I often think that people develop a thinking process based on what they saw, felt and learned as a child and young adult. Often times when a child expereinces trauma they begin a pricess of rationalizing behaviors that society would consider "wrong" for any reason.
Just as it was never the first beer or gin and tonic, nor the last...it was always the thinking process that came before the drink, during the drink and after the drink caused me to fear. Once fear initiates in my mind it will never be completely eliminated from my expectations of the person. It would always remain in the realm of "possibility". What a horrible way to live. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:02:44 AM |
If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...would you still date him? I think the bigger concern for a lady would be to ascertain if the guy truly has an abusive streak in his personality.
Just because a guy experienced the legal system doesn't mean he is guilty of violence. Lots of these stories are cooked up by the alleged "victim".
Granted someone convicted of physical abuse on another has a higher probability of being an abusive person.
I cannot recommend to anyone to maintain relationships with abusive people--keep your eyes open ladies, if you note him verbally and/or physically abusing someone else, he could definitely turn on you like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.
It's important for someone to understand the context of another person's experiences before passing judgment on them before getting to know them. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:48:02 AM | Thanks Iago,
No one said he punched her. A guy can leave a bruise easily, without even hurting her. I've left bruises on girls just squeezing their knee or playfully doin the hip bump. And I have known many a girl who loved to start it, screaming, hitting, taunting, and all we know he did was to pin her arms. I held a girl because she was punching me. Was I wrong? Was that abuse? That word is so trendy. Relationships are NOT a trend. Don't jump on the Politically Correct fad as it will never help in a relationship between two mature people who can make sensible decisions based on what happened and what it means to them, not to a bunch of "touching is abuse" lemmings. | |
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| If a guy went to jail for beating up his girlfriend...
Posted: 8/16/2007 12:01:41 PM | Jeeze! Look at how many of you have convicted the guy without knowing the whole story! Does 'extenuating circumstances' mean anything?
What about 'innocent until proven guilty'?
It's no real problem to check if the guy has a record and a history of violence, yanno. My suggestion is to make the effort and find out what the facts are before deciding to kick him to the curb. | |
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