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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/10/2007 1:30:29 PM | Now, if you do a search on past leading feminists, you will find that they support abortion, disclaim marriage as acceptable, teach women to hate men, and teach young women that they should be discontent with a nuclear family structure.
In the history of feminism, a large number of the vocal extremists were butch dykes who wanted to have sex with whomever they wished, whenever they wished. They discredited the family unit as being shameful.
Only in the last 20 years have women termed feminism as a true equal rights title.
I see it as women that want to be flighty. Women that will only stay in a relationship as long as they are having fun. Once the excitement of a relationship wears of, they find fault in the man and move on to another relationship. ‘Grass is always greener syndrome’ | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/10/2007 1:45:50 PM | | Oh!!!! Yeah!!!! you are right!!.Even tho i suffered from PTSD,since childhood,it has followed me through my adult years,and it is rough.I have been single for 31 years,and still trying to get it together.My faith keeps me alive,and the will do what ever it takes to see that i can keep my head above ground,and trying to keep sane. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:29:38 PM | translation, translation...
not interested in reading a term paper on men who hate women or vice versa for that matter. best wishes to those of you who are victims and who have suffered. for those who are anti-abortionists, contact your local county foster care office and start walking the talk. it would help the world a lot. and by the way, you can be single as well. or you can volunteer as a respite provider for those of us who are exhausted with special needs kids. and.... they will help with daycare if you work. still way better than growing up in a group home with babysitting staff who constantly change shifts and for the most part are temporary.
that's where conservatives and liberals such as myself can get together and do get together. we share stories, not judgements. different paths, same goal. same reality. much better than tv (!) and reading books with no life (!) and sitting there hating everyone else and their choices to excuse your own. not as easy as blaming one's parents for your own lousy attempt at living. and by that , i do not mean in any way they were "right". just moving on along to the second generation. if anything, the struggle should evoke empathy or trying one's best to do what you thought they should have done.
oh, yes. the kids will not be perfect and not look like you. if that's a problem, then maybe real family values should be the next term paper. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/10/2007 11:23:41 PM |
translation, translation...
not interested in reading a term paper on men who hate women or vice versa for that matter.
serenityCW, I don’t understand. Why did you ask me about it if you didn’t want to know the answer? I did not write that. That was a direct copy/paste from wikipedia. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/11/2007 1:00:44 PM | translation...
because it was mean spirited, even though you may not have known that. for example, if it weren't for the rules, i could call someone some serious curse words and the words would be in the dictionary. so, if someone takes offense at those words, i'd tell them. what i said is ok, BECAUSE it's in the dictionary! i made the mistake of asking you what "you" meant and you took me literally. i guess i was challenging your generalizations against everyone you decided to LUMP together--including me, a "feminist" (and i've also made it clear that not all people who believe in equal rights for women, necessarily hate men!).
everyone has a choice as to whether to call people terrible names or not. there are mean spirited "feminists" and mean spirited "right to lifers". thus the example above about those of us who have managed to "share" one purpose which is to fost/adopt--because supposedly it is the "life" that is causing so much concern.
it is my view that i should not lump people together and then start adding a few more, like people who are gay or have asperger's , and then on top calling them sluts and nazis. that's how hate is nurtured.
if you retaliate against everyone in a group because of just one person's remarks, do you really think that's spiritually minded? well, that "is" how hitler got his "lower" power, isn't it? but do you want lower power or do you want family and community? and can you accept that within commuity there are different people--VERY different people? you want to meet the right woman? did it ever occur to you that if you were in my area, even though "i" am a feminist, i have many more traditional friends and could sooner or later maybe fix you up with one of them or direct you to a gathering that i would not attend, but maybe one might take you?
as to my reaction to you, i gave it a hard hit because of the aspie possiblity, because i did not think you'd understand/feel what i what saying otherwise. still not sure you will. but i tried, because i think that you are worth it, despite the comments that "hurt my feelings". i will ask our aspy expert if i did it all wrong. learning to communicate with different people is a commitment of mine, but i don't always do it right either. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:32:06 PM | serenityCW, that comment was neither towards you or feminism. That comment was towards the concept that marriage is not worth saving and saving a marriage is a stigma.
Starting in the 20’s, give or take, the prominent women’s writes ‘feminists’ were gay women that fought against family values and marriage itself. They preached that women should fight against the concept of marriage, children, and families. That is what the term feminazi refers to, women that spread and teach hatred of men and families.
If you are a feminist, you would know that today there are a lot of feminists that are declaring that those women did more damage than good. There is a large portion of ‘feminists’ that are saying that women need the right to stay at home and raise families. These women support the family structure and want to fight to save marriages and do what is best for the children, women that support the nuclear family and the mans role in that. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 3:30:46 PM | A quote from TRANSLATION.......
"women that support the nuclear family and the mans role in that."
I guess feminism came about because a large number of men (not all) were not supportive to the women in the role of wife and mother. I mean, would a man stay at home to do all the cooking, cleaning and raising children for no pay and put up with his wife cheating and giving no thought about the potential STD's she brought home to him. Some of U.S. presidents were great examples of this behavior...........they had a stay at home wife and mother and numerous mistresses on the side.
Their are extemists everywhere........Hitler and his nazi regime had to be extremist to get there point across, and I am sure in the "early years of feminism"...........they had to be extremist to get their point across.
However...........I think the feminist movement has toned down it's extemist ideals since the 1920's and with women gaining the "right to work" for an actual pay cheque,
they now have the choice of both worlds. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 3:41:16 PM | | I agree with you Darrr. I have never been married, or cheated. Hell, I usually go, on average, 1 year between dates, so I cannot identify with crappy men, or women. I do believe in marriage and what it stands for, and I want a woman, just one, to share the rest of my life with. I did get a little offended when someone mentioned that marriage is a stigma that should go away. We are not beasts to go around having sex with whatever moves. Our own civility is cradled around the nuclear family structure. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:00:56 PM | TRANSLATION.............Don't ever, not even in the most tiny bits of ever let anyone destroy your confidence in yourself again...........for you are a soul worth keeping.............you said 80 pages, and that is where it will end on a post of much selfishness and a total lack of wisdom to nurture the souls of both men and women. Much love and I know the grace of God will be with you my friend............seek and find your place in this world and there will be a woman that will value you............but in the end, you must value her also. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:02:48 PM |
I did get a little offended when someone mentioned that marriage is a stigma that should go away. We are not beasts to go around having sex with whatever moves.
There's your problem(s) then....
A) You get offended by someone elses OPINION. Whomever stated this is not enacting it as a LAW....it was his or her opinion.
B) Who said ANYTHING about "having sex w/ whatever moves" and marriage? So if someone does not believe in marriage, you ASSume that they are out having sex with whatever moves? There actually are people in relationships...yes...LTR's....who's focus is NOT sex. :) Furthermore, monogamous relationships are possible without the sanctity of marriage. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:11:55 PM |
Who said ANYTHING about "having sex w/ whatever moves" and marriage?
I did, but not in the same sentence.
So if someone does not believe in marriage, you ASSume that they are out having sex with whatever moves?
Did I assume? How many sex partners have you had in the past year? National average, 50% of high school graduates are not virgins. STD % rates are at an all time high. I know 16 year old girls in my town that have genital warts growing on their face because they think that oral sex is not sex. Did I assume? The whole concept of marriage and the sanctity of marriage is going out the window. People like you do not even care.
Every time a person has sex with another person and moves on, a piece of their soul dies. How many sex partners have you been with?
Did I assume?
Furthermore, monogamous relationships are possible without the sanctity of marriage.
Yes, but how long do they last? When the ‘love’ is gone, they move on. Is that love? To just move on?
How long does a relationship last before it is termed a LTR? The whole point in marriage is that it is supposed to last for life. That is a true LTR. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:23:48 PM | Whoah, Nellie! Did someone forget to take their Prozac?! Not sure where all that...venting at me???....came from....care to elaborate?? Princess? Not this chick...that's QUEEN, sugar.
Did I assume? How many sex partners have you had in the past year? National average, 50% of high school graduates are not virgins. STD % rates are at an all time high. I know 16 year old girls in my town that have genital warts growing on their face because they think that oral sex is not sex. Did I assume? The whole concept of marriage and the sanctity of marriage is going out the window. People like you do not even care.
Every time a person has sex with another person and moves on, a piece of their soul dies. How many sex partners have you been with?
Did I assume?
Not that it is any of your business, but to indulge you, I will tell you that I have had one sexual partner in the last year...actually one sexual partner in the last four years, thank you. I realize that my values and principles that Darr believes I am lacking in (for some reason), are high...and I sadly realize that your stats are probably accurate.
I find it quite ironic that you think I do not care....one of the reasons I have been divorced for 17 years...is because I have yet to meet someone who values the institution of marriage, as I do. I VALUE it...I also value money, material items, friendships, etc....but I do not NEED these things to have a healthy relationship or life.
I too, believe marriages should be for life. Unfortunately, the lifespan of many, is not the same as life. I have no criteria for what some consider a LTR....for me personally, I have been with the same person for 4 years and we both consider it LT. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:27:22 PM |
Did I assume? How many sex partners have you had in the past year? National average, 50% of high school graduates are not virgins. STD % rates are at an all time high. I know 16 year old girls in my town that have genital warts growing on their face because they think that oral sex is not sex.
I'm going to have to butt in here again.
The reason for this, has nothing to do with the sanctity of marriage, and everything to do with improper sexual education in schools.(Mainly because of parent's and their "I don't want anyone teaching my kids about sex..." attitude and their inability/unwillingness to deal with teaching their children themselves.)
I remember school. We weren't even taught Sex ED in my school until junior year of HIGH SCHOOL. By that time, there was already quite a few girls walking around pregnant. And you know what, that sex education class taught me NOTHING I didn't already know. It was all dumbed down because parents had fought against the very teaching itself.
I'm lucky I grew up in a family that was 20x more open about it. My mom bought me a couple books on the subject WAY before I even started learning about it in school(from other kids). I read that book front to back quite a few times, because I was so interested in it all. (It's outdated now....but look it up. "Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask.")
My mom and I were open about the subject, and I was able to ask her questions without even worrying about her being offended.
I know a lot of religious families nowadays, with people who are so stuck in olden times, that they stick their chin up when someone refers to sex.
That's a whole other issue in and of itself. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:28:28 PM |
Don't ever, not even in the most tiny bits of ever let anyone destroy your confidence in yourself again.
No worries. Confidence is a human creation. I have it when I need it, or when I want it, other than that I am a mere human.
About the 80 pages. I do respect LB and where he is in life. He got a raw deal and is doing well to spite the fact. He is a good man.
for you are a soul worth keeping.
Thank you, as are you.
seek and find your place in this world and there will be a woman that will value you.
I am an odd entity. There is no exact place in this world for me. I am always the odd one out, but I get buy. One thing at a time, my focus is on school right now. Well, not this very moment, I am on break for a bit, lol, but you get the idea.
but in the end, you must value her also.
I am extremely cautious and picky, but when, or if ever, I do, then there will be no doubt that her ‘value’ will always be of prime importance to me. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:51:14 PM | Peter....I agree that sex education is the problem. However in ways, I feel opposite of you! LOL I think it is the parents who are slagging in the sex education....leaving it to the school districts (maybe this is just my area?) which is pretty much ineffective. Remember Jr High sex education? It was more of joke....classroom filled with giggling girls at the slightest mention of penis, vagina, or masturbation! Girls were handed a box of "personal hygeine" items and a pamphlet teaching about menstruation. Ok...am dating myself here...but even nowadays....my kids sex education...not even called such...consists more of human anatomy and scare tactics.
All four of my children were home-schooled when it comes to their sex education...answering questions w/ mature and realistic responses. My kids grew up curious about sex like any other child...but learned that while it was a pleasant thing physically; emotionally it could be devastating if jumped into carelessly. I am happy to say that my 19 year old son is still a virgin currently in a relationship, his twin lost her virginity recently and is in a relationship with her first, my oldest daughter lost her virginity at 18. My oldest son was a little younger...but point is, they were not statistics! My...what a Princess am I! | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:00:35 PM |
I am happy to say that my 19 year old son is still a virgin currently in a relationship, his twin lost her virginity recently and is in a relationship with her first, my oldest daughter lost her virginity at 18. My oldest son was a little younger...but point is, they were not statistics!
I am glad that your children are educated, but are any of them married?
I think that you are missing my point on marriage. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:05:34 PM | ^^ Not yet. They have intentions of marriage after college and once they have the stability that they desire before forging forth with marriage. BECAUSE they appreciate the sanctity and union of what marriage is.
My post was not in response to the general "marriage" aspect....it was in response to Peter's comment on sex education. I found it ironic that he felt parent's shun the schools attempts at such...while by me, such is so lame we HAVE to be the ones who dole it out....not that I would have it any other way.
Personally, I think one of the largest problems with marriage....are people rush into it for the wrong reasons, too quickly, etc...fast food america...you can GET married in a drive-thru...you can divorce just as easily. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:23:56 PM |
It was more of joke....classroom filled with giggling girls at the slightest mention of penis, vagina, or masturbation!
Yeah, that's what I mean. I personally would rather everyone teach their children about sex, but then you get all kinds of personal hang-ups instilled in the children.
That's why a curriculum, or a way of teaching should be agreed upon by the majority, and why it should be taught in schools.
It'd be even better if you could take out the human element and make it pure learning.
That's what they should do. Make it be taught by computers or something, and then have a little pad/word-pad for the kids to write down questions as they come to mind. And have a list of Frequently Asked Questions and their answers.
I used to listen to the old Dr Ruth things, and have watched the new show with Sue Johansen that is done on Oxygen network, and you'd be amazed how frequently the same questions are asked over and over again.
But then it comes to "When" should they be taught, at what age is "appropriate"?
That's another whole issue. Everyone is different and learns at different stages.
Anyway, this is all off-topic. So I'll shush again.
I personally don't believe that sex is wrapped up in marriage, so if that's what Translation is trying to imply, I'm on the opposite side of him again.
Sex is a healthy extension of a human being, and I personally wouldn't stay with someone who I wasn't sexually compatible with. I think that's what the dating/LTR relationships nowadays are meant to find out.
Once you find that out, and realize you are compatible, and make that commitment to get married, you should stick by it. But jumping into a marriage too soon, is also a bad idea, you should know your partner first, and find out all the little idiosyncrasies and/or things that bother you first, see if they conflict too much, and then if you are a "great couple", then yeah. Get married.
The problem is, that people change, and sometimes, extremely so. And that's why some people get divorced, because things they didn't have/know about before, bother them too much.
I believe Translation is going to the very far extreme of thinking, that everyone should stay together, no matter what.
And I don't agree with that thought. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:27:30 PM |
I found it ironic that he felt parent's shun the schools attempts at such...while by me, such is so lame we HAVE to be the ones who dole it out....not that I would have it any other way.
Do you live in the "Bible belt"? Where religions frown upon any and all sex education?
I've seen the people around here attacking the schools to the point where they cannot functionally teach sex ed. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:05:57 PM | ^^Nope...not really! I mean we have our share of organized religions, and a lot of Baptists....but I think it is more of a thing where what they DO teach is so lame. Like I said, it is not even called Sex Education, although they do cover some aspect of sexuality in "Human Development" though it is so generic and still all giggly!
I guess I am not going to get an answer from MissNeedsHerProzac...so off to bed I am! Night all...see you sometime tomorrow! ;) | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:19:21 PM |
Once you find that out, and realize you are compatible, and make that commitment to get married, you should stick by it. But jumping into a marriage too soon, is also a bad idea, you should know your partner first, and find out all the little idiosyncrasies and/or things that bother you first, see if they conflict too much, and then if you are a "great couple", then yeah. Get married.
Ok, where would you draw the line? Teenagers are out having sex, finding out, and in many cases are paying the price. And then you find someone you like to have sex with, get married, then ten years down the road the sex is not as good anymore. Then what? Divorce and go find someone you do like to have sex with?
BS if you ask me.
Say the man gets married with a woman that is great for him in bed. Then, after a couple of kids, having sex with her is like having sex with a bucket of warm water and not fun. Does he go out and find another that feels good to him?
I think that the experimentation part is a load of crap. Plus it teaches that it’s ok to just move on if you don’t like it, instead of learning how to like it with the one that you are with.
I am by no means a bible thumper. I do believe that the bible is some good reading and is a fantastic learning tool, but even without religion, it is psychologically beneficial to stick with one partner for life.
Folks do not teach their kids to be of strong character, or how to be responsible adults. (generalization noted there, but you get the idea) | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:08:12 AM |
Say the man gets married with a woman that is great for him in bed. Then, after a couple of kids, having sex with her is like having sex with a bucket of warm water and not fun. Does he go out and find another that feels good to him?
If the sex was that good, it was about the attitude/willingness to try new things in the bedroom. That's the problem with some people, they don't want to bother "spicing it up" for their partner, and expect them to just deal with it, some people don't even do more than one way for years(Missionary...as an example..).
Let's face it, no matter what, everything in life gets old sooner or later. (I've been noticing this myself even..in things I like to eat as an example...and I'm a young pup compared to some of you...).
I'm not saying that divorce should be used as a way out for people who just "got bored" either. I don't agree with that way of thinking either. People need to learn to communicate better, and learn to achieve a better relationship with each-other.
People also should stick by their commitments they made to someone, up until certain points. Figuring out when that morally right/wrong point is, is, and should be, up to those individuals.
Needless to say, I would never agree that someone should stay in a relationship if they are being abused, or if they are being treated inappropriately. That almost sounds like what you are trying to say.
There are guys out there who would love to have it that way, so they could push around their wives and tell them what to do, and when to do it. (My mom's ex - bf, and her ex - husband for example{Yes, my mom went on to pick the same type of guys later in her relationships}....a control freak.)
I'm not saying that's what you want, but it sure is coming off that way.
And no offense, but nobody can be "made" to like something they don't like, nor can they "learn" to like it either.
instead of learning how to like it with the one that you are with.
If you don't like something, you don't like it, it's that simple. The only way that changes, is if you are forced. Look at the Stockholm syndrome....hostages taken, and they fall in love with their captors and are willing to do anything for them. That's a form of control, and not about freedom, which is, and should be all human beings basic right.
That's where it gets into controlling behavior. I hope you can see that.
Not everyone teaches their children to be strong of character, or how to be responsible adults, but some of us grew up and learned how to be, by ourselves, or were taught.
I don't claim to be perfect myself, and openly admit I have flaws in some ways, and I would hope that others could admit it also.
Everyone is different, and some opposites attract, and agree to make a commitment to each-other. Other's just enjoy the other people's company(Either having sex, enjoying interests together, or having someone there to love/be loved by.). You can't control other people, you can only find the ones that fit you and become something great together. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/13/2007 10:25:05 AM |
Needless to say, I would never agree that someone should stay in a relationship if they are being abused, or if they are being treated inappropriately. That almost sounds like what you are trying to say…. …I'm not saying that's what you want, but it sure is coming off that way.
I am not saying that at all. If someone is the abuser, becomes the abuser, then there should be something done about that. If it is a man abusing, then other men should step in and correct his actions. If it is a woman abusing, then other women should step in to correct her actions.
People, deep down, are generally good people. Life becomes to difficult for some to handle and become abusive as a way to control their own lives. That is where the community steps in and fixes the problem.
If there is abuse, then that is no longer privileged or private information. Both men and women do often get abusive, verbally or physically, and it is the job of the other to speak out. Think about it, if you are being abused, and it is by someone that you love, would you not want them to get help? It is not the abusee that needs the help, it is the abuser that needs the fixing.
And no offense, but nobody can be "made" to like something they don't like, nor can they "learn" to like it either.
That is not true. I teach myself to like or dislike things all the time. It is possible if it is something that someone really wants.
If you don't like something, you don't like it, it's that simple. The only way that changes, is if you are forced.
Stockholm syndrome is an adaptive measure in the human psyche.
Controlling behavior is beneficial in certain situations, as long as it does not become abusive. Children for instance, an adult sometimes has to control the child if the child is acting inappropriately. I have two nephews, one of them gets angry very quickly, throws tantrums, throws things, hits, slams doors; If no one stepped in to control him until he can settle down, then there would be a lot of damage done, especially to his little brother. He used to claw and hit his little brother whenever he didn’t get his way, he is very selfish, he wants to be an only child again. There are times when he does need to be controlled, till he settles down, and then talked to. | |
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| Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by Divorce
Posted: 6/13/2007 11:25:38 AM |
If the sex was that good, it was about the attitude/willingness to try new things in the bedroom. That's the problem with some people, they don't want to bother "spicing it up" for their partner, and expect them to just deal with it, some people don't even do more than one way for years(Missionary...as an example..)..
The spicing it up is in the foreplay. Missionary is the best and does not get boring. Again, moderation is the key. If there is over stimulation, and one gets used to it, then they look for ways to get even more. This is the same as a drug addict that builds up a tolerance and needs more for the same effect. If missionary is not enough, then take a break. Let the body recoup to its original sensitivity. Also, there is the mental aspect of sex, if there are unresolved issues, then work on those before deciding that sex is not working. | |
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