| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:34:20 AM | | Wendy, I'm not looking for a woman to raise my child, my daughter has a mother a great mother at that. A relationship is 100/100 of each other every single day, I would not expect less from a woman and she should not expect less from me. Sure times get hard i.e. loss of job, health etc but if I'm willing to help her in those hard times, then she should be willing to help me. If not then that is a woman that is just selfish and we don't belong together anyway... | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:54:31 AM | Please don't take what I have said as a personal attack. I was simply answering the question in a truthful way without beating around the bush.
I personally do not have children, and for the right man and the right situation, I would jump at the chance to be a mommy (even a step-mommy).
However, I have issues to work through before I can resume dating.
Wendy | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 9:34:30 AM | Because some women don't have the "mother" gene.
You keep putting your kids first and don't worry about the ladies. I'm sure in time you'll come across an understanding woman. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:06:04 AM | | Why i wont date a guy with kids is because i don't want the bother of children. They are not mine so why should i let myself be annoyed by someone else's kids. I don't even want any of my own. Before you know it they are pawning their kids off on you begging you to babysit and generally play mommy. | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 33 | |
| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:05:47 PM | Ok NMKeith74 why is that? She was just being honest.
Don't knock her for her opinion.
Why is it ok if a man like George Clonney will be praise for not wanting children or getting married, but if a woman say the say thing she is label as a "B"? | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:14:18 PM | | I did not label her as a "B". Please don't add words to such a comment I never made. She has a right to her opinion as much as I have a right to my comment. She's not dating material (so)? And to her I'm not dating material (so)! No harm no faul.. | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 35 | |
| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:16:20 PM | I didn't I was asking you a question. Sorry, if you took it the worng way
It just seem like you where being alittle mean towards her answer. That's all.
Plus when I said Why is it ok if a man like George Clonney will be praise for not wanting children or getting married, but if a woman say the say thing she is label as a "B"?
It wasn't aim towards you. Mainly to anyone. After all most people do feel that way about woman. That's all, no harm done. :-) You know something to ponder... | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 37 | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:39:43 PM | | Oh it's awesome, I love everything about it. Some of the most beautiful sunsets you could ever see. I been to alot of places and never seen such beauty in the sky as here. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 4:34:45 PM | you need to change your agreement with the ex.
you should get the kids every other weekend for a longer period of time on the weekend you do have them. not 9-6 every weekend. see if you can get it changed.
if the visitation schedule you have now works well for you and the kids and their mother i wouldn't change it.
also maybe you can go out with the ladies during the week for an early dinner and be home by 10pm. at some point you can spend the day with the new gf and the kids together...if you think its someone you'd like to marry.
i would be skeptical of a guy who never went out with me during the day on weekends. i'd think there is another woman and not want to have anything to do with him. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 5:45:23 PM | OP, your going for the wrong ladies.
Women with their own kids will be more understanding to your concerns. They have children. The ones that have no kids will mostly find this unattractive to them IMO> | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:27:05 PM | As a single mother, I empathize with you....but as a dating woman, i'll tell you, your Ex gave you the short end of the stick when it came to dividing kid time, think about it....you have them all weekend every weekend.
No woman (or man) who knows ANYthing about child-psychology, or who was raised in a divorced household (hmmm....between the 2, that would be most of us, huh?) wants to meet or get emotionally close to your kids right off the bat, and as a caring Dad, you shouldn't WANT them to, so......what kind of dating time does that leave you? Like Wednesday night from 815-845?!?
My 2 kids are young, the oldest is 7, the youngest is 4, so I think all weekend is too long to spend away from me. Their father has them every Friday night from 5-6pm until he gets tired of them Saturday, which is usually between noon and 6pm. If he would ever step up, there are lots of other time he could have them, time that wouldnt interfere with either his new girlfriend OR his social life, or even mine. For example, my kids get off the school bus at 5pm, which is when I get off work, 20 minutes away. Because of that, Grandma has to pick them up and keep them for 20-30 minutes each afternoon. The Ex gets off at 4pm, and could do this, 5 days a week, after he gets off work, but before he eats dinner, and thereby have more time and more frequent time with them, without hurting his dating life. My point, though is not his assholishness, it is that you can be creative in your scheduling, and all weekend, every weekend, ONLY weekends is too limiting to be a real Daddy, and too limiting to your having a life. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:00:02 PM | | ((Mental note to self ^^^^ definitely not dating material)) You have not insulted me at all keith because you are not dating material to me either. I avoid men with kids like the plague. | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 43 | |
| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/9/2007 12:22:07 PM | Ok here's a thought, why don't single parents just date other single parents..Problem solved. 
Wouldn't that be easier? After all as single parents you tend to understand children raising anyway. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/9/2007 7:33:18 PM | | I prefer dating a man with children because I have children as well . I dated a couple of men who have never had children and it just didn't work at all . I won't make that mistake again . | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:52:10 PM | | i definitely know how frustratin it can be sometimes knowing that alot of woman will not waste their times dating single fathers. but on the flip i can understand. the first thing i always throw out there is that i have a precious 3 yr old daughter who means the world and if u can't accept that, don't rply. and if they don't it doesnt bother me. having my kid at 17 really was a wake up call in the relationship department. all of us singles fathers out there should realize that our kids come first and that they are our main priorities. if a woman can't roll with it, roll witout them but don't hate them for it. repsect their lifestyle and opinions. u dont have to agree, but repsect and set a high standard for yourself. i haven't had a real serious relationship with anyone since the mother of my daughter. my duaghter is the only woman i need in my life right now. and even so, having time alone can really help you to discover your true self and others around you will see that. woman will come and go but ur kid is urs for life. good things come to those who wait and trust me, you will know when u have found the right woman. but always look out for your kids best interests as well as your own. stick true to ur personal truth and amazing things will happen. | |
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phyn3
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Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 47 | |
| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/12/2007 12:18:27 AM | It can go both ways...I was in a relationship with a great dad. But whenever he decided, on any given day, that I was a distraction - and he would call me just that - a distraction - I realized this was not a man capable of being in a relationship, or he just wasn't ready for someone else in his life. He is an awesome father, but he belongs with them.
Yes, always put your family first - but remember you also have someone else's heart in your hands, and you may be hurting them without being conscious of it. Choose your words carefully and teach your children well... | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/12/2007 5:20:18 AM | | It depends on your age. You look like a young man and I couldn't see why a young lady would have a problem with your children and the time you spend with them. On the other hand, I'm 45 years old; Men my age with young children are a turnoff for me as I have adult children at this point and have the attitude "been there, done that". | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/12/2007 6:43:37 AM |
On weekends I like to take my daughter to places such as the zoo, the pool, planetarium, observatory or museums. I like to take a date with us, but they say "go ahead and spend it with you daughter". So this is why I'm still single, it's time and time alone that hurts us single people both men and women.
Any decent woman would tell you spend that time with your daughter, as she realizes it's not her place to be there. Unless you've known and dated a woman a long time and plan to get real serious, she shouldn't be on dates with you and your daughter. You have your child (ren) on weekends, and that's time that needs to be spent uninterrupted. That's the whole point of visitation.
Bringing random dates around your kids before you know them well isn't healthy for your kids at all. Only people who will be in your life long term should be introduced to your kids, I am a firm believer in that. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 6/12/2007 6:53:17 AM |
Well I might be dating the wrong set of women, I think I need to date over the age of 24.
Well no offence to the ladies under the age of 23 but it does seem that the younger generations are about themselves (not in a bad way) they just aren't ready for the ready made families. (not all ladies in the age group just to clarify)........But i think its great that you take care of your kids........ My daughter comes first.....which was the reason of me stopping the dating scene......I didnt want to get her hooked on men and it not work out......But Kids and family always come first as well as yourself......... just remember you dont need a significant other to be happy. Try the older ladies......and if that dont work then you know its not you or your kids its them.........
I love dating single fathers cause they know how hectic life is with kids......and know that we just can't pick up and go whenever we please........Good luck in your search.......
I was wondering something why is it when a OP catches my attention by their post they are always soooooooooooo damn far away from me.......... grrrrrrrrrrr lol | |
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