| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:04:00 PM | | It's harder for me personally because I don't have any and I'm not entirely certain that I ever want any. If I am still unsure about having my own, I definitely don't want someone else's tagging along everywhere I go with someone. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:04:53 AM | Its a very tricky situation because women are more emotional and there is always "the other woman" who is the mother of your child, it just makes things complicated, and can make a woman feel like she is always coming in second.
^^^^^^^^Are you saying that some single women without kids may feel insecure in a relationship with a man who has children.....even if the kids live full time with their mom? Hmmmm...I guess I can see where you are coming from.
Honestly, i would be approaching single moms around my age anyway.....probably due to the same reasons as you have given above....single women without kids wouldn't be interested in been with me because of my children....IMO | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 3/26/2008 2:15:34 AM | I'll explain why I don't date guys with children.. Perhaps I'm being selfish when I say that at this stage of my life I've finally achieved peace and tranquility and I don't want to lose it.. I totally understand about kids needing the attention of both parents - even more so when their parents aren't together anymore. I couldn't respect a guy who neglected his kids and placed more importance on his own needs than theirs..
I've already been through all the sacrifices that goes along with raising children and all the worries and drama of raising teenagers. My daughters are now adults and I'm very proud of the way they live their lives. Now it's my turn. Now I want to be someone's #1 priority just as I want someone to be my #1 priority. I can't be that with someone who still has minor children.
It's selfish of me, I know, but I have to be honest - that's exactly what I want and I won't settle. There are some situations I might consider compromising but this is not one of them. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:32:38 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^ Wow ...are you 51 dreamerxoxoxo.....Omg....you look like you're under 40...amazing..
I can't be that with someone who still has minor children.
^^^^^^Well I guess someone who is like me at 41 and has two children who are minors....perhaps I should try to meet someone in a similar situation to me.
Thanks for the info
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:58:00 AM |  sing for u
your so on my wavelength
relationships are hard enough to adjust to each other, dont invove your kids in it till you are absolutelly sure that it is right for THEMMMM kids have right tooo especially when it comes down to who there parents become involved with honestly do you think it doesnt affect them too adults these days seem to forget that children grow up. your kids come first not some one you met of a chat site or barbercue.
keep them out of it children these days have far enough to worry about, why break their hearts tooooo.   | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:04:41 AM | hey maryracheal,
do you forget that you were once a child toooo, its not kids that r a bother, its the life they r given that makes a child an adult, maybe you r still a child in a womans body ohhhh excuse me thats right until you give birht and have children you can never be considered a woman. with your attitude thank god you dont want children god can you imagine what sortof mum you would be, infact imagine how lucky the children rrrrr.
grow up and become a woman, not a little girl.  | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:24:50 PM |
If a woman has her own life, friends, job, schedule and has any common sense, she'll appreciate that you're a good father, and she'll make plans around your schedule on weekends because she'll know that your kids are important to you.
Uglybetty, why are you putting down women who find a single dads situation unappealing? I am child free, I have a life, a job, love the arts, love to travel and I feel the least I deserve is a man who is going to make me his top priority and dote his full time and attention to me, instead of on his kids, ex-girlfriends or ex-wife. What has he done to deserve my full attention and devotion beside go out and establish a family that I didn't have anything to do with. I'm not going to be in a one-sided, lop-sided relationship just because some female told him "You don't have anything to worry about, I'm on the pill" and most guys don't have to common sense to say ''yeah right", I'm putting on a condom anyway, and a few months later get the "I'm pregnant, I don't know what happened" call. Give me a break. I am not dealing with a man who has ties to another woman. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/16/2008 6:21:38 PM | - baggage
-can't go out and do stuff on a whim
-baby's momma uses kids against new g/f and makes the new couples life a living hell
-hard to get it on w/ a kid crying in the background
-if the relationship doesn't work out the kids gets hurt too (and they're not the ones who asked for it)
-she obviously isn't the right one if she gets jealous of your kids and u should dump her ass before she gets a chance to dump you | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/16/2008 8:57:27 PM | Interesting thread.
Personally? I'd rather not date someone with young children. I love children, don't get me wrong..but I don't have any and don 't care to have any. And I think someone mentioned it earlier...if you end up dating for a while, meet the kids, grow close and then break up..the kids get hurt too and I don't like that! It's not fair to them.
I also would miss the spontaneous(SP) dates, romantic weekends and well..honestly, most of the men I've run into that have kids, aren't interested in, don't have the time for or can't afford to do a lot of the things I like to do. (even with me paying my own way ) Their weekends are taken up with soccer or baseball and forget spending holidays together.
So, in my case, it's more of a lifestyle thing...
PS
I do admire single dads who have full custody though..I think it's great! And I also think it's great when parents put their kids first..they should. I also admire parents who are cordial to each other after divorce, since I've met so many people who are feuding with the exes. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:04:46 PM | | you said that you have to start dating women over 20 something, well to be honest maybe you are dating women who don't have kids, don't know it they want them, and may or may not like them. I hate to put age on a subject but that could be your problem these women are just starting life and unsure of what they want. Not that all older women do! Some women like all the attention and some are more willing to share, I think you should get to know them better before you bring your kids around and if they act funny about the weekends that you have to see them leave her alone she will only get worse. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:35:07 PM | I don't want to raise someone else's kids. I don't want to date a man who already has kids because when I get married I want my first child to be my husbands as well.I want to date a man who can actually go out and do things. Not one who is a slave to his kids and ex wife. If I want to go on a spontaneous road trip that would be impossible with someone who has kids.
The harsh truth is your kids are not my baggage and I don't want to carry them. They are not my problem and I don't want to be bothered with them. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/19/2008 2:55:11 PM | Wow, I have to boys and surly do not consider them being baggage.... I really don't see why men should be there for her children love them and all.... and she can't return the same... if the world would all be like this... many women would be forced to live alone with there own luggage as men roam the world hands free wouldn't you think.... I was with a younger women of 25 with a 2 yr old child, and was more then happy to be there for her and with her, as she was there for mine... usually kids are with the mother, so men aren't so called stuck with this so called luggage.... and I don't ever recall a day where i couldn't take a road trip with a new found loved one without my son's..
just my opinion... no intentions of disrespect to all the wonderful mom's out there.... | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:10:51 PM | I have to boys and surly do not consider them being baggage
Of course you don't consider them baggage because they are yours. Parents need to stop thinking that not only does your world revolve around your kids , but that everyone else's world revolves around your kids as well.
I really don't see why men should be there for her children love them and all.... and she can't return the same...
I agree if someone has children then they have to accept someone else's children if they expect someone else to accept their kids. I have no kids so why should I want the burden of someone else's kids? As I said I want to raise my own kids someday ,not raise someone else's.
and I don't ever recall a day where i couldn't take a road trip with a new found loved one without my son's..
IF A MAN HAS FULL CUSTODY OF HIS KIDS, I REPEAT IF A MAN HAS FULL CUSTODY OF HIS KIDS , then no he can't be spontaneous. Should he ever want to do anything , even going out for dinner he has to make sure his kids have a babysitter , and that is not always so easy to find.Forget about going anywhere on a trip at the last moment.Spontaneity is dead until your kids are grown and gone.You don't have full custody so you can still be spontaneous.
So you see that just because "to you" your kids are not baggage ,does not mean that to someone else, specifically a single person with no kids, that they are not baggage. | |
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| Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids?
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:20:35 PM | | Welcome to the real world "It's called the selfish me." Women like men proclaim to be understanding, accepting, loving and unselfish when it comes to all things concerning companionship. Not unlike men at all women also battle the "It's all about me syndrome." It'll take a special women like they refer to a special man to be accepting of a ready made family. However it'll take more of an effort on your part meaning you have got to be worth the trip. | |
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