| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/2/2005 7:49:03 PM | @ breadpan
"Most men like trophy wives……
The long legs, the thin-stick body, the blonde hair, the blue eyes. To have a woman is like having a car. The more gadgets the car has, the more they can show it off."
You have identified the group of men who rank the highest in:
divorce, infidelity, abuse. | |
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GMoH
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Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/2/2005 8:13:39 PM | | I think people can say what they are looking for, but that doesn't mean they are going to find the person who is right for them if they limit their search criteria. Am I saying I go out looking for fat women? No. Was my ex-wife skinny? No. Looks do matter, personality matters... but I don't think one matters more than the other. If you can't stand waking up staring into the face that is laying next to you, then that is a problem. If you can stare at that face, but you can't stand being around that person because their personality sucks, that too is a problem. Everything matters... just different people have different ways of coming to that decision. So it really doesn't matter what anybody is looking for, it just matters if you are going to be ready to accept the hand that fate deals you. And if you get turned down by someone who thinks you aren't skinny enough, who cares? Whoop dee doo! Do you really want to live with someone who's gonna be putting you down all the time because of your weight? Would that probably not be a skinny person in the first place, thus saying that you put more emphasis on looks than what you are asking others to look for in you? Maybe I'm getting too in depth, but who really cares if someone doesn't like you? Big deal. Life goes on and there are others who probably do. Focus your energy on those people. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/2/2005 8:18:51 PM | Yes... I agree with Urbanguy... seems that the married men usually complain of lack of intimacy, or lack of a relationship period...perhaps they married their trophy wives for all the wrong reasons...Trophies are for people to admire as they sit on a shelf collecting dust...
Big girls really don't have that to stand behind... We tend to be genuine , and fun to be with, and generally can laugh at ourselves first... and for some odd reason men sometimes forget we have emotions, and hearts and souls...
What happens when your trophy wife gains weight? OR better yet... How about if the wife married the trophy husband who a few years later gains weight from all that good lovin?
should we then not admire them for what they look like, NOT how much you love them???? | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/2/2005 9:19:51 PM | | First I look for long leg, nice smile, long hair, great personality,well educated and yes small frame. As far as sex , I'm a good teacher so I can deal with that as long as she is open minded. I've date large frame when before so I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is laziness while being intimate or going out. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/2/2005 9:40:04 PM | It has been my experience that men love a woman they can be "real" with, someone who has an active imagination, can make him laugh, who is open minded, and loves sex...with HIM.....and is smart enough to fulfill some of her own dreams and aspirations. Most of us want a partner we can be proud of....as if it reflects on us what our partner is like.
I have not met many who were "my kinda guy"..... It takes a special something....chemistry, identification with, timing, combination of two lives and personalities to really make a match.
If a guy needs someone who can be active with him, and he sees those who struggle with their weight as being "lazy"....what voluptuous woman would WANT him? She might be able to carry him up the mountain but he would judge her to be lazy and inactive. I've known many women who will never be slim yet they were incredibly strong and active.
We must work on our perceptions which divide us as a species. All our bias can be levelled out to allow for all creatures to be "acceptable"....life just IS. All is energy.
People come in all shapes and sizes and some of them are really nice to spend time with. We can miss out if we have too many preconceived notions.
If we cannot face our prejudice, we cannot face ourselves.  | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/2/2005 9:44:20 PM | I find it funny that some people make general statements about fat girls are this, thin girls are that, blah, blah.
Since when is attraction rational?
Fat girls aren't better than thin girls. Thin girls aren't better than fat girls. This is true of guys too. But some people are attracted to one or the other and that's just the way it is. Trying to associate personality traits based on weight is ridiculous. Everyone is different for their own reasons.
Many of the same arguments have also been stated with respect to a guy's height and a woman's level of attraction based on that. The same applies.
I know thin women that are thin just because that's their genetics. It certainly wasn't their diet or exercise habits. I also know overweight women who excercise more than I do (I'm active 3 to 5 times a week), eat healthy, and have problems with their weight and shape.
All that being said, personally, I'm attracted to women who are athletic looking. Why? No idea, it's just the way my brain is wired. I honestly wish it were different. I've met women who weren't my physical ideal but had a great personality that I clicked with, but I still wasn't attracted to them physically. I liked hanging out with them and I liked talking, but friendship is going to be as far as it goes. It limits my options a great deal, but it's more fair for me to acknowledge that than to just 'give them a chance' and end up making them feel inadequate because I have a hard wired weight prejudice when it comes to attraction. And it's not because I would say anything derogatory or try and change them, but because I would have a hard time not looking at bodies that I consider physically attractive.
I've also dated on the other end of the scale. I was with a woman for a few months that most would consider an 8 or 9, but I just couldn't trust her, so it didn't last. I want a decent amount of both, personality and physical attraction. Guess that's why I'm single for long stretches. Too picky :(.
Do you really want to be with someone who is always second guessing whether or not they want something else? It's not much different than being in a relationship and constantly trying to change the other person.
Also, being a shorter guy, I've been on the other side of the fence (where the height comment above came from) and yeah, it sucks, but there's not much you can do about it but accept that that person is not going to be right for you regardless and move on. Plenty of Fish after all :P.
I'm not even going to try to touch on health issues, costs, etc. I don't know enough facts to speak to it intelligently and I know that some of my active pursuits have cost the health system a chunk of change due to atheltics related injuries. That's not a line I'm really willing to think about drawing.
J. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/3/2005 1:02:13 AM | | ill give anyone a chance but at the end of the day there has to be a mutual attraction if i dont find someone sexually attractive but we click mentally its just not on the sane goes for someone whos drop dead gorgeous if theres nothing between there ears and theres no connection whats the point. I think at the end of the day youve got to find someone inbetween that turns u on but can allso have a conversation with it sounds greedy but i want the whole package | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/3/2005 12:56:39 PM | obviously I look for someone I'm visually attracted to. But I like girls who likes to smile, have fun and have a positive attitude.
I don't like really skinny girls, I love curves! | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/3/2005 4:45:44 PM | LISTEN BUDDY some woman that are FAT are NOT Lazy
they have some problems controlling things
and need help not your judgement | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/3/2005 4:58:59 PM | I cannot speak for any other man but I can tell you truefully what I feel about that.
I have dated beautiful woman and not so pretty woman before, and it always comes down to how they treat people and what they feel in their hearts.
Yeah I know that some of the guys and ladies out there will disagree with this, but to them I say get a clue.
You can only receive from a woman what you are willing to give.
And to me that is Honesty,Love,Compassion and Patience.
Believe it or not!!
Micheal W | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/3/2005 5:05:11 PM | sure - i could love anyone for who they are. but my choice is healthy. not slim, not rake thin, but healthy. if you're overweight - you're not.
So, I guess what you're saying is that you want a pretty, skinny, healthy wife?
And I also guess this means if she gets pregnant, has a kid or two, and gains weight because of it you will leave her behind because you're too shallow to be with a woman that is overweight...? What a maroon...
H | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/3/2005 6:20:16 PM | Well completely ignoring all of the other banter that has went on and replying directly to the original comment.
Do I like fat women, well that depends on what you mean by fat. I myself don’t mind a lady with a few extra pounds, as long as she has a good attitude to go along with it. If the girl has tonnes of personality, it wins me over more often than not. I’d prefer to be with a little over weight fun caring lady, than a super model esc boring never wants to have fun gal.
I guess it all comes down to the personality to some extent. But I myself have never been attracted to an obese woman. They just turn me off personally, I think it has something to do with the laziness factor. Only kind girls for me please. :) | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/5/2005 10:31:32 PM | | Grow up! I have an extra 35 lbs, not because I'm lazy but because my metabolism decided to go haywire in my late teens. I was a gymnastic coaching assistant and walked the March-of-Dimes walk-a-thon (20 miles) every year until degenerative arthritis became so crippling that I had to have surgery. I work out at least every other night (5 miles on an elliptical) and am moderately active or better on a daily basis. Unless you can look beyond the "model-thin" expectations you seem to have you just might miss out on a terrific person. I am overweight, but I could keep up with you on any hike. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/5/2005 10:34:37 PM | | Sorry, this reply was directed primarily to polar union. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/5/2005 11:21:46 PM | when I look at women, the most important thing would be personality: we have to get along well. looks are important too, but as long as they're not hideous, there's potential for something...
if it's someone I've never met before or someone who's profile I'm viewing online, it's hard to get a real read on someone's personality, so the first thing I would look at would be appearance (not necessarily looks) the way they dress and the type of pics they have and what there interests are(if online) | |
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AAns
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Joined: 4/30/2005
Msg: 43 | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 5:35:27 AM | dude your mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is sweet_baby_girl_1976 I can't seem to get my sn on here for shit!!!!! but any ways dude what ever your name I can't get started this morning today is sunday so all I have to say may jesus be with you and may he touch you with his love I am tryin to change my ways the old me would of called you a ***hole right about now but like I said I am changeing my ways!!!!!!! I am out of here peace out..
post bye
sweet_baby_girl_1976
not mom4818
hmmm should of never use her pc lol
oh bye the way to my mom as you see her picture on here
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY I LOVE YOU MA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 8:12:19 AM | | if you are looking for that soul mate, the only way is by trial and error. if the person is Honest they will not even look at you, if they do not want a large mate. If they are scum and are in it for the sex, or in the worst case, using you as a trophy to prove to themselves that they have the power to hurt you. Then yes they will say and do anything it takes to get to you. The bad part is there is really no way of knowing this so every once in awhile we will get hit up the side of the head. Thank goodness there are nice people out there as well that will make the search that much more rewarding. you just can't let a few bad apples ruin the intire bushel. Rember this is to be fun meet new friends and hope for the best. Also with the new friends you will make they will help you through the rough bumps that come along once in awhile. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 8:40:56 AM | | If you think you're fat. I'd disagree you've very attractive. Best wishes and take me out...that song. ;) | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 8:48:10 AM | Well I think in some sort of way everyone is right on this topic in some form or another. First of all, not all overweight girls are not healthy. I can say that yes I am not the skinniest of girls but that doesnt by mean that I am unhealthy. I am actually very healthy and very active. I love spending time out doors going for walks...hiking, all that good stuff. I grew up a tom boy, riding 4 wheelers, fishing, camping, and being very active outside. But all my life I was a lil chubby kid. It wasnt easy growing up and being the outsider. But I have always made great friends and always very outgoing. This is just who I am and I have accepted it. I also come from a family where gentics havent made it easy to lose the weight I would like to lose. It comes harder but something that I have learned to deal with.
Secondly, when it comes to finding a good guy who likes plus size girls, well I personally havent had much trouble. I mean sure some guys are jerks and think if your not a size 3 then they want nothing to do with you. But I have just accepted the fact that Im not a size 3 nor ever will be. I am secure within myself and i think that has helped me along the way. My current boyfriend and I have been together off and one for about a year now. He loves me just the way I am, and hes a very good looking guy who could probably get any girl. All my friends ask me how I pulled this one off (as a joke). Hes a great guy who just favors plus size girls. They are out there, you just have to find them. I asked him one night, why me, and he said its the chemistry we have together. Its really all in the eye of the beholder and what he/she likes. Keep a positive attitude and somehow it seems to get you farther! Hope everyone finds what they are looking for out there! | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 8:50:37 AM | I JUST WANT TO ASK: WHY IS IT OK FOR A MAN TO BE FAT BUT IT'S NOT OK FOR A WOMEN TO BE FAT.... AND WHAT IS FAT?
FOR MY SELF I DON'T LIKE MEN THAT ARE THIN BUT THEN I DON'T LIKE WHEN THEY ARE TO FAT...........OH I FORGOT WHEN A MAN IS FAT THEY ARE CALLED BIG NOT FAT! | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 8:55:19 AM | For men:
1) Looks
2) Personality
For women:
1) Personality
2) Looks
End of discussion. | |
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| TOO ALL THE MEN
Posted: 5/8/2005 9:06:49 AM | Someone who has the nerve to give me the benefit of the doubt. Physically, the hair. Hands down!! cheeks eyes then smiles. If I said goodmorning to someone, a turn on is someone who will say good morning back!!!!!!!
Jim | |
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