| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 5:29:22 PM | | Well the fact is, he is not your perfect man, if you cannot look at him or getting physically attracted. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:25:32 PM | I so agree with the paper bag idea-just drink yourself stupid pretend he is someone else and pray to God that he is good!!!
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:38:33 PM | Dear OP, I've been there, and really for you and him, it is best that you move on. I know the position you're in, asking how can he be so perfect in every way but you're not attracted to him physically?
It's not fair to either of you; take it as a sign that at least now you know what you truly want in a relationship - a learning experience of sorts.
best of luck! | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:40:42 PM | | How can he be the " perfect man " for you....if you can't even stand his looks? You sound so......out of touch with reality. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:55:45 PM | | This is hilarious. Been there, done that. Not a good choice because believe me, you still wont be able to look at hime after a few years. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:01:06 PM | | Yeah I'm in that situation.... I'm leaving us open to friends. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:29:58 PM | I think it's absolutely wonderful that you can show this man what agony you as a woman of noble and wise character are willing to tolerate to be in the presence of this man. Why, there must be a THOUSAND other men pounding down your door with better looks than his. But...I am so profoundly effected by your infinitismal fortitude for being able to keep your pablum down when in close proximity to this beast. For you to lower your standards to such a level as to honor him with your presence, even if you find him physically repulsive, proves to us all what a wonderful example of womanhood you really are. The world is forever better now that women like you are there to let those poor poor men, who've had their gene pool pee'd in, be illuminated with your presence. Thank you......thank you.......thank you.......I humbly bow to thee........... | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:33:35 PM | maybe you can get some sunglasses and paint the inside of them black... so you can't see him ?
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:42:04 PM | OP, you said:
"I've been honest with him about the lack of physical attraction, and told him I would try to work past it." What baffles me is that he would actually wait for that to happen. And because of that, I'm beginning to think that the issue lays not with you, but with him. Doesn't this man have any dignity? | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 7:55:08 PM | "So I'll take him out, show him the town, and then do it the next day. At least he won't be able to say he paid for everything, like he has with his other dates. "
Yep, lead him on just one more night and then dump him......that's a novel idea  | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:15:59 PM |
I've met the man of my dreams...in all ways but looks. I love being with him, talking to him, and we have everything in common. But there is absolutely no physical attraction, in fact, I can't stand to look at him.
Then if you find him so unattractive that you cannot stand to look at him then he is not the man of your dreams. We are all not going to be sttracted to the same type of person. That does not make anything wrong with you or him. The problem that I have is that you admit openly that you do not find him attractive but you are still seeing im. That is leading him on. He deserves to have someone who will think he is the cat's meow. Please, let him go and find someone.
I am spending more and more time with him, and am getting more comfortable, but still, I can't look at him without feeling sad that there is no physical turnon there.
Both parties need to be physically attracted to each other for a happy and healthy relationship to exist. Attraction is not the most important thing but it does matter. Some say that you need to be attracted to the person right away and some say that you can meet someone and though they are not your type looks wise their personality and inside beauty soon makes them beautiful to you. But it seems to me, that if this were the case it ought to have happened already.
He keeps bringing up sex. I don't know if I can have sex with him!
Talk to him and tell him that you just see you two being friends. I hope that he is not on here. If so, he is now busy making a nice guy thread. 
*I think that looks are important but so is personality. There are a lot of beautiful people out there who turn ugly once you get to know them. There are also a lot of not so beautiful people out there who become beautiful once their inner beauty shines through. I think that if you meet someone and are not attracted to them on the outside but have lots in common, go on a few more dates to see if that inner beauty can make them outwardly beautiful to you. If not, cut them loose. They deserve happiness too.
~Carrie | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:26:16 PM | | sometimes you have to go against type. i've become close friends with a guy from PoF whom i really click with, it feels like we've known each other forever and i'm crushing quite a bit on him. unfortunately distance has been a factor in keeping things platonic...but if he were geographically closer, i would've lept at being with him. i like alternative boys (more in the emo or metro rocker way), whereas he's on the more extreme end of that spectrum (6'4", lots of tats, piercings, a mohawk, excessively plucked brows...and one of the biggest sweethearts i've met on this site). i've dated geeks to punks, and i've learned that aesthetics aren't everything. if you exclude someone amazing because he's "kinda cute", but not your kind of cute, then you could be throwing away something special. be sure you don't regret that decision. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:37:12 PM | | If you are not attracted to him physically at this point, just be honest to him and yourself and move on. To do otherwise would be a cruel thing to both of you. Keep himas a friend if you enjoy the company, but be honest and move on. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:42:35 PM | in fact, I can't stand to look at him.
This right here, is your answer. Those are really strong words. If you needed to tell someone "and told him I would try to work past it." Then let it go. He deserves to be loved for the whole package. It's ok that he's not for you. Just don't drag it out. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 8:46:15 PM | what a dummie 
maybe some sadistic choice.... if he is perfect, then your hansome guys who come later will be lacking in other ways.....
can i sell you seven hells  | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:38:32 PM | This is what doggy and blindfolds are for.
I think you should give him a round of breaking up sex.
Just to be sure....
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:21:04 PM | OP have you tried getting drunk and looking at him or does he gross you out even when your drunk ?
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:38:56 PM | Iv tried this before it doesnt work ...Its not fair to the guy, let him go.I found the more I tried to pretend I was happy without the attraction part of it because he was a sweet wonderful person, the more unhappy I became and the more he pushed and tried harder to please.
As shallow as it may seem there need's to be an attraction coming from both side's...thats all there is too it.So the sooner you end it ,the better for both of you. | |
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JoJo!
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Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 94 | |
| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/6/2007 1:02:40 AM | | Looks should come second, its whats inside that matters x | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:29:04 AM |
Thanks for the advice, everyone, but I'm going for it.
You go for it just4chat. I'm with you on this one. I've had female friends who I never thought I'd be attracted to in that way and changed my mind over time. You said that you think he's cute, but you can't look at him? You've kissed him. Sounds like there's more going on here than you think. Maybe you're just afraid to look at him because this relationship is so different to you. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/6/2007 5:17:12 AM | | Always remember that looks come and go with age too, and not just genetics. A persons once handsome or once beautiful lover will look like a mister or misses Potato head in time. Pick for compatibility and keep the lights low. I'm sure that even Ray Charles fell in love with someone at some point and time in his life. As for me I first look at a gals booty. If she's got a nice big one then I probably wouldn't even notice her mustache. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:12:12 AM | | Did you see a pic of him before you met him?Did you meet before you became his girlfriend?Some women can be so shallow,I personally can accept when someone tells me on line before meeting that there is no attraction.I have been told that many times..and after chatting for a bit and getting to know each other I have some greats friends..not friends with benefits.All anyone wants on here is honesty...If you are lookin for the Ken and Barbie type relationship then stick to that...don't mess around with the minds and hearts of good people. | |
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| I can't look at him!
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:33:00 PM | To the OP just let him go. You both deserve so much more .  | |
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