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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:06:38 PM | WHAT IS IS YOU DO AGAIN ANABOLIC..... I am so stupid I never caught that part?
You do not know me personally to know my sexual life. I think you are jealous. You have no pic and no job posted. Why all the hiding????????? Hiding behind all the words makes you appear to be a meek little soul.
Actually, I do understand your posts, but sometimes when you talk "normal" and not all psuedo intellectual, it makes you more "real". I am intelligent, but I am also down to earth and a fun person. I don't think you are down to earth nor fun. I don't go blasting my intelligence with big words.
If you also note on here...... I don't think you have made many friends on your side here on the post. If you were smart, you would of quit a long time ago. You have argued with just about everyone on here.
You obviously didn't understand my post. You asked justcuite how is yours different than hers. I stated what was different. Care to disagree on that? There you go reading too much into it. Did I state anything about how a man makes a woman more worthy? NO. Did I state anything about needing a man? NO
I rest my case. I care not to waste anymore of my time on someone who has no importance to me or in my life. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:18:14 PM | well just my two cents, but i've always pretty much enjoyed anabolics input since she contributed on a thread of mine several months ago., But, here's a thought. Why don't the two of you either take it outside, or get back onto topic before you both end up causing the total deletion of this thread by one of the little rats that runs around calling in this type of stuff...
or, rant at each other and then do this
ON TOPIC:
OP: like i said last nite, you've probably learned a thing or two about how people think, or don't think,lol, on this thread of yours. You're old enuff to see thru veiled conversations hopefully, and can swallow your temper when you get hit with the question again. Maybe just make a little game of it and see if you can predict next time when she'll ask that oh so offensive question.
That's what i do when they don't bother reading a stitch of the profile, but tell me they think we're going to be a good match provided I'm not lying to them about being married ..lol...just be polite if you don't like the lady and copy and paste this:
""Thank you for your message, however I don't think we are a good match. I wish you all the best. have a good summer. Good luck fishing.""
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vahbsc
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Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 302 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:23:52 PM | maybe she is trying to find one thing she likes about you, i'm not trying to be mean, but i have a lot of friends and a sister who think that way... just because men don;t usually care about how much men make, don't assume its the other way around. why would you assume that a woman wants to date a good for nothing... i'm offened that you're offended.
not. i don't give a damn about what people say. do you have a sucky job or something?
don't participate in smalltalk | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:25:50 PM | Holy navel-gazing! (perhaps I should have gazed slightly lower, because I too had gender assumptions..tsk tsk. My bad)
To be fair to CEOs and their job competencies, most are extremely hardworking people, in high-demand, people-pleasing positions. On the flipside, they can also become biotches (pardon my French) to shareholders and board directors and some male CEO's feel the need to compensate by having a slient arm-piece for a date.
More reason why I would rather dine with a down-to-earth guy during my leisure time. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:16:02 PM | I'd like to go back to the OP for a sec and quote something:
I personally find it extremely offensive when the first message I get from a woman inquires as to what my profession is. To me, it's no more offensive than in sending a first message to a woman asking about her cup size or if she deepthroats.
What a terrible comparison--unless you're a gigolo! Yes, the gigolo part is a joke. Take it lightly! Saying that it's a terrible comparison, however, is accurate.
You're simply over-senstive, paranoid, and probably still paying alimony from hell. Maybe you should amend your initial post and write, "I personally [because I have been screwed by a divorce (or maybe two!) in which my wife took half of what I own and whom I will continue to support for a number of years] find it extremely offensive . . . " blah, blah, blah. Now, I might be way off the mark, but my point is this: If your reasons are personal, then why are calling others names when personal experience differs?
Here are the questions up for comparison:
(1) What do you do for a living?
(2) Do you deep throat?
Um. Hello? If you really think that's a valid comparison, then your honor--since you're such an honorable person--demands that you ask a woman whether she deep throats after she asks you what you do for a living. If you're honest, as you say you are, that's what you should do.
Are you getting this yet?
I don't believe you really think any of this. You're just venting. Again, as I posted earlier, so what? Where's the meaning? | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:28:27 PM | Well, I didn't bother going there last night, but perhaps it is worthwhile to mention that the etiquette point raised by Anabolic and latched onto by the OP is a legitimate point, although archaic. It was confined to Europe because the new world didn't exist.
At one time it WAS considered to be the height of rudeness in polite company to ask about one's profession. Of course, polite company were the gentry who did NOT work. Or, the only accepted professions was the military or the priesthood. Therefore, enquiring about a, gasp, profession was not only a HUGE insult, it also revealed the questioner was a commoner and not one of "our people".
I find it interesting how pretensions morph and continue on in modern times. I also find it interesting how some people, while claiming moral superiority for themselves, manage to be ill-mannered in how they slag people. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:29:25 PM | I remember seeing a poster in a building where I was working years ago. It read: "Just as much unhappiness is brought into the world by those who take offense as by those who give it."
For years, I felt that taking offense was just as bad as giving it, because that poster made sense to me.
I guess it still is, but, anymore, I don't really give a rip.
Anything that humans do is what humans do.
I see a lot of judgmental remarks on this site, but what the Hey! We're talking human beings here, ain't we?
Sadly (for us men) this kind of thinking is common amongst women. It's just the way they are. Women are attracted to power, wealth, confidence, security.
Men, you know how we are. Looks.
Women know that, or they wouldn't spend so much time primping and preening and investing in clothes, etc.
Men know what women want, too, or they wouldn't spend so much time lying about their yachts, jets, and powerful connections just to make impressions. (Obviously, those who really HAVE the power, the wealth and the toys don't need to lie.)
I think we all want to believe that we are above this kind of stuff, and that's why OP's post.
There is such a burgeoning movement in awareness and towards "enlightenment" in the world today, that you can tell everyone wants to leave the old games behind, but, like it or not, we ARE human, and human means animal, and that means attraction is unconscious and very physical. Alas! We are what we are.
Accept it, and enjoy it. It really isn't all that bad.
In other words, qitcher****in'. Party on, and like Bill and Ted said so well, "Be excellent to each other." | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:37:20 PM | I may be wrong but I'm guessing Anabolic is really a man.
JDMETRO - As a social researcher I'm interested in the way you isolated and represented your dependent variable. :) | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 10:39:08 PM |
chemistryNkisses
I too liken this behaviour to the depraved nature of man to seek only beauty and youth. I accept that as a male of the species, I've been wired a certain way. I accept that to overcome this is my responsibility and I accept that not all men are so enlightened.
I seriously hope you are being facetious. If you're not, you're a liar, a self-righteous hypocrite, or living in self delusion.
Wow. I'm sure most men are Cro Mags and knuckle-draggers compared to you, self-designated Zen master. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:17:58 PM | so, please give some examples of what you would like to be asked. also, what do you ask? 
for me, it's the intention. in some circles, it's not politically correct to ask, so you sneak around and ask everyone else. in CA, i can also assess if someone would rather not discuss careers. in my "past life"--i lived, ate and breathed my career. back east it was not just an indicator of income, it was about how you spent most of your waking time, what you learned, what you contributed to life and even gave a sense of your values and personal mission. again, i did not have a technical position. i had a mission, i guess, changing the health care delivery system and provided access to health care for all was something i liked to talk about.
as to "my man", well he's an electrician of course! | |
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Genrae
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Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 310 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:32:28 PM | I'm having a VERY difficult time figuring out why this thread has merits so much venom??? He dared post a pic in his profile standing in front of a BMW that he’s already said belonged to his former girlfriend, and had on a tux for his daughter's wedding. BFD. Why is that a crime? Many of these comments are reeking of jealousy and class envy, and I think that's what much of the underlying fury is about, much more than his comment regarding tits and deep throat. He using it as an analogy to compare his frustration with the same frustration many of us have articulated at being seen as useful only for boobs and blowjobs. Having just been approached again on this site for the latter, I fully understand his analogy and his frustration. I’ve seen profiles and posts that were vulgar and disrespectful that did not generate this much animosity.
A few people have ridiculed him because he "chose" to be offended by this woman's question. Well, aren't YOU also "choosing" to be offended by his being offended? What's the difference in his being offended and you being offended?
And so what if he "chooses" not to list his occupation. We all make choices that we feel are best for us, and have reasons for doing so.
Geez! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:59:52 PM | ^^^^Glad you put the word "chose" in quotes. He's reacting, doing nothing more than venting, b*tching, whining--all healthy. If he really believes some of the things he's saying . . . come on--that's not healthy.
Oh, and let's play your game, raerae: Are you offended that other people take offense to the OP being offended?! This could go on forever with that logic! And with the same line of thought, more venom will follow a thread that began with venom--just like your "offense" argument . . .
If he had posted something positive, the thread would have had ten to fifteen responses, then died. THAT is human nature.
He's venting. So what? Who cares? People relate, so they vent with him; or they disagree, and vent to oppose him. And a topic of such generalization . . . what else are people going to do--write a thesis based on this bs? It's emotional fluff, i.e. it has no real meaning: that's why people respond. People love distraction, myself included. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 12:42:35 AM | | Well Brad, I would find it much more offensive if she were to directly ask how much I made. I think its important for a woman to know that a potential mate isnt hopping around aimlessly from job to job. If I feel like she shows too much interest in money and material things I probably would stop talking to her altogether. Some women who have achieved a level of success want a man with the same or more because they are afraid they will end up carrying any other man. I've been turned by women just because I didnt drive a Lexus, Mercedes, or a BMW at the time and they did. However, men are**** when they have the same requirement... | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 5:11:49 AM | Been reading this thread.
In one place OP said this:
Amazing the responses off of the originally thread. Some people are simply rude or simply have no social etiquette.
My response? YOU stepped out of social etiquette when you began this thread with comments about "deep throat", tec. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 5:23:56 AM | steve kc, bingo! you said:
Well Brad, I would find it much more offensive if she were to directly ask how much I made. I think its important for a woman to know that a potential mate isnt hopping around aimlessly from job to job. If I feel like she shows too much interest in money and material things I probably would stop talking to her altogether. Some women who have achieved a level of success want a man with the same or more because they are afraid they will end up carrying any other man.
regarding others' comments that the analogy set up in the OP is ridiculous, i have to agree. to compare "what do you do for a living" with asking 'do you deep throat" is really quite a stretch.
but steve kc has nailed it, in a word , in pointing out that if the woman had asked him 'how much money do you make' well that would be very bad form and would at least be analogous to a guy asking a woman 'what is your cup size'. (asking if you deep throat would be more along the lines of a woman asking a man his penis size, but i digress.)
in any case, i too don't fully understand, raerae, why this thread has become so hostile and why we have this (ahem) tit for tat going on between a couple of posters.
i think brad has raised a good question in an extremely ineffective, illogical way and that steve has clarified and improved the thread by having said what brad should have said.
so there! ;-)
cheers!  | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:00:10 AM | HAHAHA I have to agree with nomadic...this really is turning into a hilarious thread. Annie's pretentious posts are a total hoot. Tautology is my word of the day. I am going to try and use it at least once in my general conversations today.
The fact that the OP left his profession off his profile is the reason women are asking him. I have a fake profession on mine and it is one of the first questions guys always ask. I don't mind answering if I am interested in the guy, why should I? | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:07:24 AM |
Do you travel? What's the most amazing place you have been to. My favorite part of the world is , list why, explain why.
How is this different than asking what someone does for a living? If one is paranoid, having answered, "Yes, I travel.. I've been to... and... and... my favorite place is..." can imply that one is loaded and can afford to travel, thus gauging someone's status.
Being asked what you do for a living is NOT rude.. to insist that it is simply makes NO SENSE at all.
If we're going to get so ridiculous about what people can and can't ask us in their efforts to get to know us, we may as well delete our accounts now and resign ourselves to guarding our precious, "private" info and living like a hermit. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 7:29:36 AM | i find that honesty is overrated these days---i myself have a job that brings smiles to ev eryone i meet for the most part--- when i tell men what i do for a living ,,, sometimes theyll ask why or insinuate something sexual about it ,, but for the most part, they act interested...
i make good money and i have a lot of fun,, get to travel and meet people of all cultures, and really enjoy something that im good at--- making memories for kids of all ages to hand down to their kids and grandkids....
but then a lot of people men and women alike dont like their jobs.....
when i ask a man about his, im trying to find out if he really has a feel for his job or if hes just passing time till he finds himself...
i really dont care about how much money he does or doesnt make-- i try to base my feelings on whether or not he wants to pursue a friendship or even something more lasting in a relationship===i try to analyze if he has character which for the odd reasons or two-- men seem to want to hide --- why cant everyone just be themselves to see if they will be liked or not?
i am very upfront and personal about me--- i feel if a man doesnt like me the way i am then they need to keep on searching for someone thats fake and will feed their ego...
i am a very realistic woman-- im full figured working on myself and wanting to look better for me--- i have a lot to offer a man who wants a committment somewhere down the road----but im not in any hurry to rush into one either...real love takes time to build on and i have time to wait--- although i dont know Gods plan for me,,, i want to make sure its for real and going to last ....so i live for today and if i make it to tomorrow,,, then its all okay!!!!! thanks for letting me set things straight ,, at least from my end....
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 7:54:50 AM | "JDMETRO - As a social researcher I'm interested in the way you isolated and represented your dependent variable. :) "
Darn - and for a while I thought you viewed my profile for other reasons. . . too bad.
The independent variable - the indications of wealth - disposable income / assets
The dependent variable - inititation of contact / positive response upon solicitation.
There was also a base measurement of low to no response (initiation of contact or positive response upon solicitation without indications of wealth present in the profile.
As I said in an earlier post - I conducted the tests in the best manner I knew how relying on prior training - but would my techniques pass a university review - probably not.
If you are schooled and experienced in testing using statistical methods - then conduct an experienment of your own. I'd love to hear about the results. All it takes is a few email addresses and some creative writing to set up fake profiles - download some pics of male models, adjust the variables and your abilities to properly conduct the tests.
One anecdotal story about this test is very memorable. Using the profile of a guy about 51 y.o.a. ---looking something like Fred Thompson of Law and Order - with no indications of wealth in his profile, a letter was sent to a hot gal about 39 y.o.a. - and a reply came back - 'Don't you know you're too OLD for me' said in a very mean/nasty tone. She had no age range limits in her profile.
I then dumped the exact same profile text - same age into a new member setup , put a photo of another guy - of very similar looks - balding, etc - a near clone. I would have liked to have kept the same photo - but it would have been detected. I added the indications of wealth - mention of a ski condo in Colorado, European travel plans, remoldeling of a home, etc.
And - SURPRISE - within a day or so - the SAME GAL who had rejected the first guy and sent a nasty gram - sends an unsolicited note - very complimentary - and was asking about those European travel plans. This 99.9% exact same fellow now with wealth - got younger and more desirable in just days - amazing...
Was this a perfect testing model? - no. Did again and again and again the same sort of results happen ? Sure did . . .
Joe | |
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Genrae
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Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 319 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 9:52:37 AM |
He's venting. So what? Who cares? People relate, so they vent with him; or they disagree, and vent to oppose him Disagreeing with him and venting is one thing. Personal attacks on him are another.
This thread reminds me of being in school when many of the girls were jealous of the cute or rich girl and ganged up on her. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 10:57:14 AM | as a "gal", I often answer this question( what do you do?) with , "as little as possible" I have yet to have a guy get offended. But, I wonder if a guy answered that way , what would be the more common reaction, but cannot say I care all that much. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 10:59:28 AM | | Joe (JDMETRO), all your tests indicate is that some women are shallow gold diggers. Hardly a surprising result. But they say nothing about the motivations of most women--and they say nothing about the ratio of gold digging women vis-a-vis the broad female population. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/7/2007 11:09:43 AM | This thread is locked, and under moderator review for flaming and off topic content.
Pandy/moderator | |
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