daisie
| | Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 26 | |
| | As a guy, I find it offensive...Page 2 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | I couldn't give a rat's hiney how much money a fishie makes and i rarely (I can't even remember ever asking it) ask about career. However, on the occasion that I DO ask him then it is simply for conversation purposes and to see what shared experiences we may have to talk about etc.
Perhaps you're right that many are looking for $$ figures, however if you assume every woman is interested and looking for that then you're full of $hit.
If a guy asks me any personal Qs like you mentioned then conversation is immediatly finished. over. adios. no good by or kiss my arse. He's just OUT for being rude and not my type.
BTW long ago I had a chat pal for a few weeks of frequent talks. We had no problems. One day I was going to tell him a joke and I had to ask what kind of car he drove. WOW!!!! THat guy blew a fuse!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was so majorly offended an insulted and I couldn't see himk but I think steam was actually coming out of his ears!!! he verbally attacked me for asking him about his car. wowwwwwwweeeee!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked at this bizarre and unexpected reaction to a simple, innocent question. Needless to say I never told him that joke...and I immediately realized HE was a joke!! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:51:32 PM | | There is nothing wrong with asking what someone's career is. What the hell are you supposed to ask people? What, do you have to wait five dates before you can find any information out about someone. Someone's career is clearly more than how much money they make - it can define them as human beings. If someone doesn't want to talk to you because of your career, then so be it, but there's nothing wrong with asking. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:53:05 PM | On the contrary ..its not offensive, you are just being defensive. Think about it. Since about a third of your life is spent at work then isn't this a valid topic of conversation? Doesn't it interest you what the women you speak to, do for a living? Doesn't it form a picture of who she is? You can't ignore that part of life....its like the elephant in the living room. Most of us have jobs...it determines how we conduct our lives.
The sex questions you mentioned are intimate personal questions....what you do for a living, isn't ( in my opinion). Anyone you meet and I don't mean for the purposes of a date will eventually get around to asking you what you do. Even if you meet a guy in a locker room and form a friendship. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:54:04 PM | OP~ I could see your point. I'm not saying that EVERYONE who asks the question is judging you. But if it is one of the first things they want to know, it could definitely come across like they are seeing if you're worth their time. It's as if they would only be interested if you are wealthy.
I have seen quite a few people with no profession listed in their profile. There's nothing wrong with someone wanting to know what you do. But I guess it's not so much the question itself, but rather how and when it is asked.
Also, I don't see anything wrong with your pictures. There's no set way for people to dress. It's your profile and you should be able to display it as you please. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:00:10 PM |  "DO YOU BY ANY CHANCE WORK IN THE EGYPTIAN SHEET MANUFACTURING INDUSTRY?"muahhhhh!!!!!!!how about this op,what do you do for a living? really...am i insinuating?????? just curious........
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:04:27 PM | hey bd
Perhaps you find the question offensive cause maybe thats not your car and maybe thats not your suit. I have met few financially secure or comfortable people men or women who find that question offensive. People who worry about there financial status rich or poor are very lonely in a relationship and should not get into a relationship until they deal with that insecurity. I have had to leave relationships over this issue because I was never interested in their money, house, or car as I have my own but was treated like I was after theirs anyway. When people are insecure about money there is no amount of love that will resolve that insecurity. Sad but true! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:05:53 PM | | so you are 51 with all of your children over 18 and you are looking for someone between the ages of 18 and 50? then you think that women are shallow! maybe the only reason women are asking about your job is because the only teen-20 year olds that are contacting you are looking for a sugar daddy. your a douchebag btw | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:19:44 PM | This forum simply requested some advice about thought process when someone asks what you do for a living as the first question in a message.
It is amazing the assumptions that people make.
Yes, I am employed.
I am not rich but am not poor. Although many have different ways of defining wealth. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:27:38 PM | | Hate to break it to you but most of us put our job titles in our profiles. You have not, so yeah.. I bet you do get a lot of women-folk wondering whether or not you're employed, since it's not.. you know... obvious. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:30:58 PM | Hate to break it to you but most of us put our job titles in our profiles.
I just had to point out that this is not particularly true. Take a look at the professions on MOST of the profiles on this thread.  Also, like I said before, I have seen plenty of blank ones. | |
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Kariz
| | Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 37 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:35:38 PM | well, I always wonder how you send an email to a random person... I find guys are quite good at doing that, LOL If someone just say, hey how are you? What do you answer? just "good"? | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:37:56 PM | My feelings are that if a man becomes very angry about someone asking his profession.... there is something very wrong in that dept....
he is either underemployed and broke......
or a stingy miser trying to hide the fact he has money
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:41:06 PM | I'm not sure why this would bother you unless of course you have some history with shalow women. I personally have no problem with it. It is a nice open ended question you can expand upon and it helps to keep the conversation moving. If the lady asked how much money do you make or how much in the bank. That would offend me.
BTW: I always ask about the cup size...kidding | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:42:09 PM | If you liken a question about your profession to a question about "deepthroating", then I also really want to know what you do for a living ...
On a serious note (and I'm gonna speak for myself here) ... I like to know what a man does for a living, NOT because I'm curious about his income, but because I'm curious about whether or not he spends a large portion of his day and supports himself doing something I find admirable , in terms of where his convictions lie.
Not to mention that sometimes a person's profession does have bearing on the kind of lifestyle he lives (shiftwork that makes him too tired for nookie, hazardous materials that affect fertility...you know ... important stuff) ...
So...
*neener neener ... | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:50:07 PM | I usually tell them i dig graves for the living.....(note for, not a) and if they never talk to me again, GOOD, odds are we would have never gotten along anyway....If they still message me....lol, They end up being pretty cool, so i win either way! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:50:24 PM | I hope this puts all you ladies on notice that in the future you should never ask a man his "profession"...
To be "PC" you should just ask...fvck you do to make money? | |
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daisie
| | Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:52:44 PM | uh-oh.............SOMEBODY on this thread sounds like a poor dude with a small weiner.
This thread reminds me: the other day I was standing in line at a local business. A lady had 2 kids about 3-4 yrs old. they were happy as can be, dancing around, talking to everyone. When they FINALLY got to the front of the line, the little 4 yr old boy told the receptionist...REALLY LOUDLY and P.R.O.U.D.L.Y... "When I grow up Im gonna be a bank robber!!"
He was serious as a train wreck.
Gotta imagine he would be the nicest , funnest bank robber in town. orrrr a comedian cuz he sure cracked us all up real good.
so...Op.....are you a bank robber???
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:07:10 PM | Wow...I presume like most mnormal employed people your job is where you spend half your waking hours. Hopefully it is something you like to do...and findout out what a person likes to do for half their waking hours certainly provides a bit of fodder for conversation.
Of course, asking what you do for fun must then be equally offensive....no wait - THAT is where the deep throat comment comes from!
Relax friend...what you do does not necessarily indicate your financial status. Have you never met a bankrupt doctor or lawyer or stockbroker? (I meant financially, not morally! ) LOL! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:08:08 PM | I find nothing what-so-ever offensive or even intrusive about asking about people's careers. It is a way of finding out what interests them and if there are some commonalities of interest. People frequently ask me what area of advertising/marketing I am in because it is a very broad field. If not, it would usually be something I volunteer quite early because my particular job does shape my life.
You have control in how you respond and how much you choose to reveal ... "I'm in the textiles industry", "I import 1000tc Egyptian cotton sheets", "I'm in sales". Maybe what you need to do is think of a way to respond that is appropriate to what you are comfortable revealing on a casual conversation basis.
Sheesh, it is professional not sexual; how in the world do you manage to equate the two?
(Darn, I only have 800tc sheets... I am experiencing sheet envy here! LOL) | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:11:14 PM | pahleeeese.
i have never, ever had a conversation with a man who didn't ask what i did for a living.
lol. i have to quit the forums, i'm starting to get pissed.
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:15:54 PM | Wow, never heard someone upset because of a question about their profession. Men don't seem to have a problem asking whether or not a woman works...
Now the swallow and size??? Well they would definitely garner more interest in the woman than most men's occupations would for women. That and they would prove that more than ponds and scrapes are shallow. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:20:30 PM | | Who really cares what one is doing, its what they can do. I just sold a house and i'm taking the summer off of my job to catch up with some old friends, thus I say i'm unemployed, and if a girl is too shallow to reply to me then so be it, there are plenty of girls out there...haha And yes i would be offended if a girl asks what i made before she met me, but i don't think i would really care if she asks what i can do. | |
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LLH5
| | Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 49 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:22:32 PM | | Why are you so quick to think the car is his? Maybe the tux was rented for a wedding he attended? I don't know if he's trolling for younger women. But if he is, I hope he has a great pair of running shoes....As for me, I don't care if someone asks my profession and if I ask, it's certainly not because I'm out for their money. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:22:35 PM | Interesting.
It certainly is a question one asks as a "get to know you" thing.
I once read somewhere that a woman should never ask a man how much he makes and a man should never ask a woman how much she weighs!
From a man's perspective traditionally we have been seen as the provider/bring home the bacon/meal ticket so being asked how much we make can make a woman come across as a gold digger etc.
From a woman's perspective men can be seen as only after one thing and hence the weight question can be seen as not wanting her for anything else.
I've never asked a woman how much she weighs however I have been asked by MANY women what I do for a living (I'm a professional) and when I have told them I've seen the difference in their eyes! Makes me wonder sometimes. | |
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