| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:34:13 PM | I dont blame you. Most women have the checklist in their head and the guy has to have and do such and such to be worthy. Its like your arent even worth getting to know as an individual without knowing all the basics. I am with you OP that why I have my job listed on my profile | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:35:26 PM | | The first message asking for your profession would be offensive, If it is not included in your profile. I do not like to advertise my profession or where I work. Mostly out of precationary measures. There are some weirdos out there. At least until I meet and talk to the person a few times and feel comfortable with them. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:35:29 PM | It could be a passive form of gold digging. Then again, I like to know what someone does because depending on what they do, I might not want to date them. What if you were employed in a field where being on call all hours of the day and night was required and the person didn't want to deal with something like that?
However...honestly...usually its digging....if it is asked right away in an opening email. Then again, on my profile, I have to lie and say I'm an engineer because otherwise I'd have to date only females in the same employment field as mine. People constantly say "hitman" like it's a bad thing...
Cheers! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:38:55 PM | | "Good thing they write it in their first message... it's a great weeding process, don'tcha think?" I too agree with bullielover, its not appropriate on the first message, if whenever it is. Different people have different situations in life, and the amount of money they make isnt equal to how much they have to spend or their ability to save it for special experiences in life. For me i do very well but have in perspective that the only way i will be with someone is if "I" want to be with them, not just them with me.... and material wealth actually has little to do with the happiness one experiences within, its sometimes more a echo of how empty a person is inside... | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:41:24 PM | i don't generally ask that question....as long as he's doing something he likes and isn't buried in debt, i'm pretty happy.
it seems that alot of people live way above their income level, just to look weatlhy..... i just don't think "one uping the jones' " is really important in the grand scheme of things.
unfortunately....alot of people think that those "things" are important....to each his own i suppose.
i figure that if you can't take it with you when you d!e....it's really not worth having. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:41:59 PM | | I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. It's like where do you live,are you divorced, widowed, etc. Perhaps some might be asking for the wrong reasons,filtering out the ones with low incomes but I would'nt be asking for that reason and so think it really depends on where the conversation is going. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:46:30 PM | Have you ever seen the articles that list the range of salaries for different professions? You can't tell even from a job title (even if you were that specific) what a person's income is, it's usually quite a range, depending on many other factors.
As someone else mentioned, usually a profession dictates to a certain extent lifestyle, as to hours they work, being on call or not. There's also professions that put people more at risk than others, personal safety and healthwise.
It says a lot more about someone that assumes the worst at asking a fairly common icebreaker of a question, IMO. The other examples the OP gave is even more revealing. Not a pretty picture. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:48:25 PM | Hi Brad
I have to agree with you...a very shallow question, and more than likely one to be answered the first time you meet. I get "how did you manage to retire so young?" Alarm bells go off when I hear that right away. Alot of the guys have things posted like "love my boat and cottage" etc., and then are very surprised when they seem to be attracting gold diggers. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:48:52 PM | I don't mind when a woman ask me what I do for a living in general. Most of the time it's just a simple question. But there have been times when they went straight from that to how much money do you make... I had one woman email me and tell me how much she liked my profile and my photos .But before she was willing to go any further she wanted to let me know that she wasn't interested in anyone who didn't own at least one home and that they should have a healthy sum of money saved up for retirement. And that if I hadn't been employed in the same postion for at least as long as she had, (23 years) then she wouldn't be interested in hearing back from me...!!!
I emailed her back and asked for her to send me a "balance sheet" of her finances and I would do the same... Her next email was basically this, HOW DARE YOU...!!!
It seems it was perfectly alright for her to inquire as to my financial status but my asking about hers was very rude... go figure... | |
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Karen5
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 85 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:49:49 PM |
Ok I will tell you , but you have to promise you won't reply "oh cool" ...
they always say "oh cool " !! LOL, I say that all the time. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:51:15 PM | You don't list your profession on your profile. That gives some of us the old "Gawd almighty...he's unemployed....can't find a job because he just got out of prison...lives with his parents..." thoughts. I list my job, but I wouldn't be upset whatsoever if someone asked.
But my Tahoe was made in Arlington...so if you can get me free Tahoes? I'm yours. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 3:54:58 PM | ^^^nice new pic aragula...
if i told folks what i do, i'd have to kill them...so i just say employed for now
True Lies is a 1994 action/comedy remake of the 1991 French film La Totale!. It was directed by James Cameron, and stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Tia Carrere, Charlton Heston and Art Malik. Eliza Dushku makes an early career appearance
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sldk
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Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 88 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:08:40 PM | | I don't see what the big deal is. You're talking to strangers trying to get to know each other. What are you supposed to talk about? It seems like you have to walk on egg shells for fear that someone might be offended by your opinion, question, remark etc. I think a slightly tougher hide is needed. If someone asks you what your salary is or what you paid for your house or what your measurements are, then I can see being offended by personal questions too soon. Most people are interested in each others profession as a way of getting to know one another. IMHO | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:10:19 PM | ^^^have to agree with that....if it's the ONLY thing they're asking that might be seen as intrusive but if it's part of a "conversation starter" seems perfectly acceptable to me.
At social functions - dinner parties,****ail parties, etc. etc. - I think that's one of the most common conversation starters I've ever heard. And asked of both same sex and opposite sex new acquaintances so it's obviously not meant as anything more than showing interest in the other person. And it definitely let's both parties know if they have some common interests right off the bat without asking personally intrusive questions.
If the OP feels this defensive about it, he probably has his reasons. Maybe, as mentioned in previous posts, his photos are attracting the very types he seems to be trying to avoid. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:11:37 PM | On the site as a whole MOST of us DO have professions listed. Had I been referring only to the folks posting to this topic, I'd have said that.
I'm well aware that most people put it. I have been coming here for a year and I'm not brain dead. I just thought it was kind of funny that many people on this thread disagreed with him, and said asking his profession was not a big deal. Yet they didn't have theirs (or their real one) posted. I used smilies in my reply to you, because I didn't mean it in a rude or negative way. But I'm not going to sit here and debate it with you, because it's really not that serious. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:13:22 PM | I have been known to ask people (male and female alike) what they do for a living, its just seeking common ground. My profession is posted I'm not ashamed of it, but it also doesn't give away my financial status. Typically I couldnt have given a darn but after all the hubaloo I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering what yer hiding.
And your comment ...
I also should probably add that I have somewhat of a fetish for great sheets, my current ones are 1000tc.
be honest ... "fetish sheets" yer just tryin to introduce sex into the mix without actually saying it. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:18:54 PM | Fark, people .. it's not a shallow question.
If you think so, then you're mixing up "What's your profession?" with "What's your income?"
Besides, how do YOU know I don't prefer a teacher for his hours and love of children, or an artist for his soul, or an inventor for his ingenuity, or a social worker for his selflessness, or a police officer for his commitment to his community, or an activist for his convictions?
He who reads more into that question, does so out of his own self-consciousness, not my materialism. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:19:28 PM |
But I'm not going to sit here and debate it with you, because it's really not that serious.
There isn't a debate.
The guy who is offended by the question, leaves it blank in his profile and seems to wonder why he's asked.
It's pretty obvious why he's asked. The women who see fit to message him notice it's missing and ask. Pretty simple logic. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:22:32 PM | Hey Brad ...Here is a list of fake jobs ...feel free to use any of them the next time a woman asks what you do for a living
Waste Station/Water Treatment Worker
Fortune Cookie Writer
Professional Whistler
*Cow tipper
Snake Milker
Adult Store Attendant
Dog Food Tester
*I have dibs on cow tipper so you can't use that one!! | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:27:15 PM | | Hey Brad, how about trying deflection when asked about your profession? A gal asks, "so... what do you do?" and you say something hysterically outrageous and funny back. I'm not feeling particularly outrageously funny right now so I can't give a good example... but the idea is that they either laugh and don't really care about what you do, they were just making conversation - OR - they press on to get you to tell them what you do, in which case, you may wish to raise an eyebrow because why do they need to know so badly, and ask them "Why do you want to know so badly? You're not from the IRS are you?" | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:29:43 PM | I don't think its offensive either. When I inquire about a guy's profession I'm finding out more than what he does for a living - I'm finding out something about his education level, if he's a math/science type (the type I usually complement), if he has stability (a 40 yr old flipping burgers at BK to me is not stable or educated) and if he's goal oriented.
Could give a rats ass how much he earns or his specific job title.
I also want to be assured he's got a legal job, not a theif, drug dealer, etc.
I get men bragging about how much money they make. Had one guy tell me the other day he has a six figure income - kept bringing it up like I should be impressed.
Heck I have a six figure income as well - if we're counting the numbers after the decimal (which I'm sure this guy was doing).
I'm just wondering why you mention the sheet count in your profile - is that a pick up line "Wanna come over and check out my 1000 thread count sheets"? | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:31:54 PM | | Cedar: He gets his gas free? Really? Wow, so he just moseys on up to an oil-refinery thingy that has his name on it and siphons some gas into that there Lincoln boat. Off he goes and shoots off his gun at the odd grouse now and then (oops better make sure it ain't no old man in disguise). Yah. Groovy. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:32:07 PM | | It's not like how you list your profession has to identify your income bracket. If you list "Finance" that can mean anything from an AP Clerk who makes $25K/year or the CFO of a large company who makes six figures. It just gives people a very general idea of who you are. It helps to fill in those mental gaps when people are looking at your profile. Alternately, you can just post defensive questions in the forums so they can make generalizations from those insteadl. Your call ;) | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:32:30 PM | I find your post extremely puzzling.
What on earth is wrong with someone asking your profession....assuming it's legal of course??
Asking your salary would be offensive because it's PERSONAL but a profession is usually public.
I find it offensive to have to state my age on these Personals sites. A woman's age has always been her own business up until recently. | |
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| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:33:33 PM | its usually not meant to beoffensive however just could be a friendly inquiry as to what do you do?guys ask this of other guys all the time and im sure they arent looking for a sugar daddy or gold to dig getover yourself bud | |
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