| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:08:34 PM |  Brad, when u think about it....you are the rude one !!! how can you compare the two...job or boobs??? Please, grow up, again...why does it bother you???? | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:09:50 PM |
Gotta admit women how protest too much herein are truly wondering after being contacted by a man, not the size of his girth but the thickness of his wallet.
Though the maidens protest and off spring need to be fed.
Can someone decipher this for me please?
**************
Thanks Squirrly. In my decade of living and working in England, I was also frequently asked "what do you do" by new acquaintances, even ones I met on the continent. I guess I should have scolded them for their lack of "etiquette"! | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:10:19 PM | What I won't stand for is being disrespected. By anyone.
You get what you give.
Oh just forget it, it doesn't even deserve a response......I mean since you know so much about the women on POF.
Clearly, you're missing the point, because you do the following:
-You claim to speak for all women on POF.
-You dismiss his post a snide remark instead of legit counter post.
-You don't acknowledge there are a strong percentage of women that actually do this in real life.
It's true. Not every woman is a gold digger. But it doesn't negate the fact there are many women seeking financial security, women that judge men by their pocketbooks and profession, and engage in what is called hypergamy. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:10:34 PM | Perhaps she is just curious and means no harm! Or maybe she just wants to start conversation. Don't take it so personally eh? | |
|
MsChar
|
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 180 | |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:11:09 PM | holy cow this is wayyy to serious for me !!! why is it such a big deal ... asking what kind of job you have .. to me its like asking what you do for fun. i guess if you dont want to reveal that info you wont find me any fun. im a custodian in a catholic school , i basically swing a mop for 8 hours , i dont make a ton of money but i work hard ( dont need to spend money on a gym membership!ive dated musicians , guys who own there own businesses , a doctor , nuclear tech , and my current boyfriend is a heating and air conditioning installer , so you can see im not after the all mighty dollar !!!
one thing i do know is you people who think asking ... what do you do for a living should never try speed dating , with just 3 minutes thats the # 1 question, and yes ive speed dated with pof and had a blast ... but then i have fun at whatever i do or wherever i go !!! life's too short to sweat silly stuff !
charla | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:13:21 PM |
Anabolic: I have travelled a great deal and find it is common for people in North America to ask this question within the first few minutes of meeting
Well, Anabolic... sidestepping the amusing twists and turns in this thread. Even you have acknowledged an enquiry about profession is customary in North America. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:15:01 PM | Ok, I will readily say this..
She just wrote me back and was just wanting to start a conversation with me. She was interested in me and wrote to aplogize..which I accepted and
might I also add..apologized to her as well.
Ya'll chill lordy lol | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:16:21 PM | what is customary is not necessarily good manners.
and in polite company good manners are very important.
I have many friends and have met many women. And when a woman asks a man the first time out what they do for a living I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THEIR MIND IS GOING, ---- KA CHING, KA CHING.
My address is in a very swank and tony part of town. First thing many women have asked me when they realize what part of town I live in is what do I do for a living.
THerefore, my defense of the OPs thread.
| |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:16:39 PM | I do know a little something about etiquette, courtesy, and good manners. I attended both a girls' school and finishing school for young ladies in Cannes, France. The curriculum in these schools was designed to groom young ladies to enter the loftiest realms of society. I made my bows both here in Texas and in New York City. I have traveled extensively in virtually every civilized country in the world.
I was taught that it is perfectly acceptable to talk with a gentleman about his work and interests. I have never heard or read that it is acceptable to make reference to a lady's bra size.
Please, may we accept that we have honest differences of opinion, and dispense with name calling and insults? | |
|
| |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:16:58 PM | Men who worry about a woman being after his money, is a guy who has no other qualities to offer a woman. If he had personality, character and charisma, his wallet wouldn't matter. Guys use that as an excuse as to why they can't get a woman. It is easier to blame it on money than what they lack in other areas.
Just because a guy has money, does not mean he spends it. Some people with money are the biggest tight wads. It is like the old saying.. "it isn't what you got, but how you use it. "
Give me a guy who has a profession he enjoys, takes pride in, makes enough money to pay his bills than one who makes 6 digits, is boring, and has high stress. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:17:10 PM | Since we can’t read peoples minds or judge their motives by the questions they ask, it might not be a bad idea to give each person the benefit of the doubt until you find out about their character. 
I love these open forums but I’m puzzled by the useless insults and the lack of decency in terms of how people speak & treat each other. Nevertheless, I’m sure someone will reveal who they are in response to this message as well. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:17:48 PM | Don't anger this crowd OP... you are in a den of professional online daters who can hunt you down.......  .............. find you by that plate number or one of the other profiles you must have on the web. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:23:30 PM | Brad,
I think for someone to ask what you do for work is just a way of getting to know you, some people have a hard time straying from the basic obvious questions eg. job, likes, dislikes, hobbies.
I think you comparing this to someone asking....'the woman's cup size, or whether or not she deep throats', is a little strange and over the top to say the least!!!
Do you have some issues with your career choice, or worry about being taken for your money? If so, wouldn't you rather find out immediately if she is in it for the money, instead of finding out later???
I think when being on a dating site we have to take things with a grain of salt, and try to not always assume that someone has an ulterior motive, we should give people the benefit of the doubt!! Don't you think? | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:23:59 PM | | pazoozoo your profile is indicative of your fine educational upbringing. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha | |
|
| |
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:28:30 PM | i ask people what they do ...
because it says a tremendous amount about their character ....... and lifestyle | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:28:48 PM |
Men who worry about a woman being after his money, is a guy who has no other qualities to offer a woman.
There are people who will try to take advantage of that---I'm not certain how it reflects his other qualities. That's an absolute statement. You're assuming since he is finanicially successful, he's emotionally and personally bankrupt.
It is easier to blame it on money than what they lack in other areas.
It's possible that he's been exploited before and doesn't want to get burned again; do you ever consider that? It's actually good--learning from experience.
Give me a guy who has a profession he enjoys
I'm one of them. I've met women more insecure about it since I'm not CEO of a company, big or small. I legitimately (gasp!) relish what I do, and occasionally I'll meet a woman that's excited about the context above the income amount, but more than a few expect to live their lifestyle than your own. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:35:32 PM | To the OP, it depends on how she asks. If she asks once, and doesn't go into 20 questions about my profession, then I'm not concerned she's a gold digger. If she probes too deeply, then I'd be concerned.
Otherwise it is just an open conversation starter. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:36:23 PM | Your Dark Angel: I doubt that anyone would try to deny that there are "gold diggers" out there or that some women (and, for that matter, men) are interested in finding a free or cheap ride out there.
But that doesn't mean that asking someone what they do indicates that sort of mentality.
If the OP wants to live with that sort of paranoia, that is his choice (as it happens, he has stated that he misunderstood the woman who had asked him this question....)
But I for one find that to be a sad state of affairs and one that would likely prevent a man (or woman) from getting to know really nice people who are just genuinely interested in learning as much as they can in a casual way about the person they are talking to.
******
Pazoozoo: Lovely posts--I especially liked the last one.
 | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:37:14 PM | bdpowell,
“Amazing the responses off of the originally thread”
My comments where about your original thread AND profile, NOT meant to be “simply rude” just brutality honest! “ Have no social etiquette” I don’t worry much about social eloquence as most snobs do, but your desire to date 18 year olds for the most part is socially unacceptable… think I’ll puke now! | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:38:06 PM | did the OP ever consider giving an amusing answer to the question : what do you do?
perhaps a sorceror's apprentice etc...the point is ...if you get offended so quickly, you are the one with the problem. As for etiquette ...this isn't the victorian age. Jane Austen novels are only relevant because of their humanity...it has nothing to do manners. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:39:41 PM | OP concerning your concerns... there are many men with odd jobs like gay porn writers, transvetites and female impersonators. You should just be general and give info in a general way as some ladies are not ok with dating men in certain professions.
good luck in your search.... | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:40:24 PM | Some interesting rejoinders in this thread, some good, some vitriolic & some just plain stupid............................. I can see what you were attempting to say Brad, but unfortunately some poster will ride you for the silly stuff, and some posters are attacking your appearance IMO is always the last resort for someone with a weak argument.
One thing you need to learn is asking someone what they do for a living isn't the same as asking how much money one earns? now from whatI've read I suspect you don't like it when a woman asks you what you do in the first conversation with her.
What some of the folks are busting your balls for is the comparison to the bra size and deep throating as you put, to MOST women thats a personal question and comparing that to what you do for a living is a poor comparison.
Sounds like your concerned with Gold diggers, and on sites like these and in real life they're gold diggers out there, you must understand that most women cannot understand what goes through most men mind's when it comes to dating, so i can see where your question comes into play BUT Most of us cannot understand what goes through a woman's mind either when it comes to dating , For some reason you cannot see why that comparison would upset most females??
Most of them are going to bust your balls because of the silly comparison and the fact you indicated you would look at a 18 year old at your age, although its your right, if she's legal, you cannot see why most women would find that disgusting, if a 50 year old woman was to say I want a 18 year old , most people in society would label her a perv? interesting eh.
Smart blonde said something interesting
Men who worry about a woman being after his money, is a guy who has no other qualities to offer a woman. If he had personality, character and charisma, his wallet wouldn't matter. Guys use that as an excuse as to why they can't get a woman. It is easier to blame it on money than what they lack in other areas.-smart blonde which adds to my aforementioned post ,although there is some truth to that, I disagree with the first part, regarding men who worry about a woman being after their money etc etc, I say it depends on the man Smart blonde, if he's the greedy type absolutely but if he's self made, not very attractive etc, and meets a woman it does enter in his mind why is she dating me, but that could be a self esteem issue too
Just like most women worry or are concern if a guy is using them for sex too.
just my 3 cents. | |
|
| As a guy, I find it offensive...
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:44:36 PM | Dark.... If a guy has a great personality, character etc., to any decent woman, his income isn't going to matter. She will be in love with him as the person and not his money. You can't fall in love with something material. If he knows he is a good person, with good qualities, then his confidence and own security should define him to know that she likes or loves him, for him. That is also if he has a good judge of people.
Now, if he goes for some implanted, hot body, beauty.... is that to say that is any different than a woman going after his money? Both would be superficial motives.
So what if he has been exploited or burned. I was cheated on once, so now do I judge all guys as cheaters? NO........ I learned from it and became a better judge of one's character and actions.
Also, don't you think women all worry about a man being after her or using her for sex? Is that any different than using a man for his money? So maybe we shouldn't put our sexes on here either... one might use us for it. 
The bottom line is , a person is going to like you for you and who you are. You are to be the judge on the type of people you pick and be smart enough to see the red flags of what they are all about. | |
|
Home
login 
