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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 8/31/2007 8:38:38 PM | I had a brief relationship with a guy from on here. I deleted my profile for a while and he just hid his. That was a red flag to me.
So I believe discussing deleting both of your profiles when you want to become exclusive is a good idea if agreed upon mutually. Just remember if they hide theirs and you delete yours, you won't be able to know they are still on there. It all boils down to trust and honesty. If you both stay on, you should put a statement on your profiles that you are exclusive.
If in the future you decide you want your profile back on, you can reinstate it. At least I was capable of restoring mine. | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 8/31/2007 9:03:35 PM | That's something you'd probably discuss since you both have profiles. I think most people would feel a bit hurt if they took their profile down, but their date kept theirs active. I realize that some people just come here to chat with old friends, but at least you want to have an understanding.
So I believe discussing deleting both of your profiles when you want to become exclusive is a good idea if agreed upon mutually. Just remember if they hide theirs and you delete yours, you won't be able to know they are still on there. It all boils down to trust and honesty. If you both stay on, you should put a statement on your profiles that you are exclusive.
Of course, if he's a special breed of trifling, he'll just open a new profile with a new username, ad maybe even a new, less recognizable picture. But only "special" people have the time or inclination to do something that psychotic.
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/1/2007 6:59:58 AM | Id'e have to go along with 'hiding' your profile. Too many times we think we have met the person we were seeking, only to discover it didn't work out for one reason or another.
Perhaps re writing your profile explaining that you have someone in your life is a good idea if you want to stick around for the forum's.
Deletion? Been there, done that. | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:39:06 AM | totally still think if you are committed yer committed ! I like the hide idea though (hidden or shared profiles), take this situation for example: I meet a nice pretty girl on here chat with her for a week, things are awesome, shes a perfect match so i get her msn , chat some more and suddenly figure out shes not single at all! and it said that in her profile, now ppl! ............ I read profiles ....... just not in there entirety.  and she assumed i knew, i just assumed she was because of the site wer on , after all it is a dating site and don't tend to read the status , so some quick suggestions and good ideas i seen , in a SHORT description of yourself mention it "im not single" a description box if short enough is usually read completely. A second suggestion is a main profile pic with you and your bf\so , (kissing would be even better lol) , but basically, don't go in there all low key on the not single , if you aren't , speak up, make it a point that we know your taken, I'm sure your bf would appreciate it too ,
ps. I still chat with that girl and wer good friends , I dont think its horrible you taken girls are on here but just unfortunate sometimes . | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:12:29 AM | Well, now here is a question !!!!! In real mortal life do we suddenly give up all the friends we make when we meet a partner in life....
if you think the answer is yes then that's the same for on here don't you think.
However, if you have made friends as I'm sure you must have, don't you think it's work keeping them? After all.... this site has been made free so we can enjoy our friendships and our relationships along our life journey.
Please don't even bring up the 'player' card on this one! People who play with feelings and flirt and all the other stuff are still out there in the real world just the same.
If I do end up with a partner I'd be more than happy to share my friends with them on here just the same as I would out there in the real world. I've got nothing to be ashamed of or hide. I'd hope to have that same mindset from my partner.
I've seen it happen here time and time again.... people meet, become a partnership and still join in on the forums and keep contact with their cyberspace friends.
Sometimes they even share the same profile.... after all this is a global site.
People of honest and strong character have a better chance of a long and happy life. | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/24/2007 7:10:13 AM | OP.....that is a funny question,...It is time to delete your profile when you are seriously NO LONGER LOOKING ELSEWHERE,..as that will tell you the TRUTH as to how you are feeling towards your partner. And talk to them,....discuss how you feel about you both having your profiles removed or what ever works best for you. I have know some people who are happy together and still keep their profiles to participate in the forums but if that is the case they do state in their profiles that they are NOT LOOKING
,...however some people make it their mission in life to cause trouble for others so a word to the wise,....if you find a partner that you are into,...leave P.O.F....as it shows that you are sincere and you will not have to deal with anyone else causing you undue hardship! | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/24/2007 9:18:00 AM | | I honestly don't know that I would unless I got married to the person. I wouldn't hide it from my SO, and I wouldn't be active on it...maybe change the listing to something light like friends or something. You never know what will happen in life, and many engagements suddenly end...so why delete it until you KNOW you are going to be with this person permanently? Wouldn't make sense to me. | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:26:11 AM | | WEll let me tell ya !! The nice time to do it is after you date and not interested in meeting no one else. I personally think its better to wait till you have that talk with her/him and make sure you both fill the same way. Then yall can both log in at either house and delete them both. Or just put like some I have seen: " Met someone and taking a break and see how it goes" then if it don't work out your profile is still up and just modify it an start looking as soon as your ready. | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/25/2007 10:16:33 AM | | my thoughts, if it were someone i see getting serious with, yes i would. this is why communication is important to me, if i cant talk to him bout everything then whats the point? it is him i want to give all my attention too, it is him i desire and no other. i have made friends on here, an the ones i associate on a regular bases has my phone number or theyre on my msn. being on the computer is a chapter in my life and like every chapter it needs to be closed before opening up a new chapter in my life. I have no intentions of living my life in the computer world, it has helped me in ways, support on issues i was struggling with but having that partner i can hopefully rely on his support. i cant see me stayin here to just chat with others, when i can chat with him. now if it doesnt work out, you could always make another profile. why not give that person the time and day and all your effort to building a future foundation together? isnt that what everyone wants? I'd hate to be with someone and have the computer interfer with my quality time with my partner, some dont think this happens but it does and quite frequently. | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/27/2007 1:00:01 AM | Why should deleting your profile on here be a sign of commitment??? is someone not capable of putting not single/not looking just here for chat and friends? im dating a guy from here and we both have profiles on here which we still use. I don't expect him to delete his profile on here to prove anything to me. I know this is the new age with the internet way of meeting people, would you say a person should no longer have a mobile phone or a landline once they meet someone just in case they have the numbers of other members on them?
What happened to trust? I would not turn round to anyone and dictate who they talked to wether it be on here or in the real world, that would be trying to manipulate that person to my requirements. We all come with a past so we have people in that past both male and female and we cant eradicate it just like that. No one comes with a blank canvas we have all had a splatter of paint or two applied.
I take a person as they are, friends, family etc, i think it would be unhealthy to think that you have that person all to your self and that no one else can chat to them. If you are committed to someone then the proof of the pudding will be in the eating, they will be spending more time with you than on here! However, there are some people for whom online chatting can become an addiction rather than a pastime.
If someone demanded i delete my profile from here my first thoughts would be....this is a person with low self esteem, rather possesive and manipulative and if they are like that at this early stage what will they be like later??? If you want to show someone commitment and you think by deleting your profile is proof, then that person must feel very insecure for whatever reason about you being on here.
You have 2 options...delete it or leave it.
~ Lainey ~
xxxxxxx | |
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/27/2007 2:30:34 AM | to my mind if you are serious or ar least want to be serious with one particular person,then you should respect them enough to leave the playground, how many times do you hear someone in a relationship say, no harm in looking!.
there is harm in looking under those circumstances,if you are still looking you are keeping your options open.
if your chat friends are really friends you,ll get their ph number or something and start including them in your real life, unless you are hooked,lots of people get hooked
on dating sites
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| when , after meeting someone on here , is the best time to delete you'r profile on pof ?
Posted: 9/27/2007 3:16:13 AM | Its a funny world, people want old fashioned values like men opening doors for women and it comes from not knowing what they are. Asked a room of 60 year old married women and they all agreed that you're a fool not to keep your options open until you have a real commitment (Aunts and Mom).
Of course, they also believe that you shouldn't be having sex before marriage...
But I digress...
If you say to someone you've met recently, "OK, we're in a committed relationship", are you saying, "I love you and want to be with you forever and commit myself to keeping that alive?" Or, are you saying, "Let's remain exclusive to each other romantically and see if this grows?" If its the latter, one can do that without cutting off all ties to the single life and without being open to new people should they come by. That's why its NOT being married. As others said, it involves trust that your primary intent is to see how this goes. That means primarily being with your partner. But it may mean also chatting with someone who comes across your path who makes you reconsider things.
Why would you want to pen yourself and the other person in to the point it is as if you're married when you have no real commitment along those lines? We need to recognize levels of deeper and deeper commitment. We also need to recognize that doing this involves a tremendous amount of investment on our part. A lot of the heart ache on here could be avoided if people recognized that a 2 week relationship does not deserve the degree of commitment you're putting into it.
This is especially true for guys because, for women, commitment is the milk, and why buy the cow...
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