| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/19/2007 3:05:49 PM | It does depend on circumstances - but a man in his late 30's, 40's or 50's, still living at home with no defined goals or plans to move out? Nah. Not for me, thankyouverymuch. I'll just keep on  ! | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/19/2007 4:23:18 PM | I am still in community college close to home, and I am dependent upon having medical coverage. Until I can get covered by SSI, I can't trust myself to live alone.
Then there's the other facts of the matter: my neighborhood is very safe and comfortable, and I feel welcome. I have friends here from high school and before, who I share my adulthood times with as much as my friends from college.
As a very sentimental, security-oriented man, I feel it's essential to be able to feel at home in my young adulthood. I'm frankly not ready for leaving my family, even if it were for the chance to start one with someone else.
~ David | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/22/2007 10:54:45 AM | SDsoundguy
Right on, man your talking sence, youv'e only gotta watch these talk shows on tv to see how many guys with, there own homes are either totaly out of controle of there finances or behave like children abandoning there kids and alsorts SO THESE ARE REAL MEN are they? weather a man is aman has nothing to do with were he hangs his hat, of course if theres a fear of leaving home thats something a bity difrent might nead counciling.
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/22/2007 2:37:43 PM | | I agree with you. There does seem to be a double standard when it comes to parent(s) living with a daughter vs a single son. I'd have no problem dating a man who had a parent living with him. To me family is everything. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 80 | |
| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/22/2007 2:43:40 PM | | OP - it depends on why a man lives with his parents. If both parties benefit, then it probably is fine. If it is a temporary situation, it's probably ok. To care for elderly parents, I think its a good thing. For the sake of living with the parents and he's middle age, I have issues with that. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/24/2007 2:05:25 AM |
I'd rather live in the projects than live with my parents. Who knows. They might even like a white guy who goes through adversity.
Or they might kill you, and nobody would notice. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/24/2007 3:15:20 AM | I can see where you're coming from by calling it a taboo... Sometimes it can be a sign of a weirdo, yet it could be just a simple practical matter (money). It certainly wouldn't put me off someone at the outset if they did; I'm interested in a lot more than just the economics of it all :-)
Reality of it for most young folks here in the UK is simply that housing is so overpriced a lot of people can't afford to make it on their own - without a big inheritance a lot of under 18's today simply won't be able to afford a roof over their head the way prices are going compared to salaries. Average house prices here are about 5x the average income, and renting isn't much cheaper than getting a mortgage either... So I think you'll find a lot more people will be staying with their parents for a long time over the years to come.
For the record, I live alone, and have had to miss out on a lot of things just to keep a roof over my head - it's took 5 years from leaving University (in a half-decent job) to even come close to being able to afford the house, car and holidays...! | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:00:29 PM | id do anything to be living alone in an apartment and eaking out soem kind of living to enrich a worthless landlord.
why? lets see, i did the 5 years of college, did decent in college gradewise. Its just that, i have no choice but to live at home at this time.
My fields of study and of talent are mechanical drafting and design, and architecture and construction technology. I cant get a job in either of these fields in any capacity. And yes i have begged to be the one who scrubs the uninals and porta potties out just to get a foot in these fields with lots of rejections.
SInce i am broke, i cant afford to get a house or apartment of my own. If i dont live at home i have to either live with my best friend who cant let me do that as he lives at home himself. Or i can go try to live on the street for awhile untill someone decides to kill the white homeless guy for his snazy argyle socks.
And since i am unemployed, i cant afford any kind of healthcare. Sure I dont qualify for medicaid, etc. But through my **stard of a fathers crap i can get this for the rest of the year:
dental coverage
emergency surgery and services if say another tree falls on me, etc.
True i havent seen a doctor other then dentist or orthopedic surgeon since i was 13, i ate least can say my "doctor" is one of the top 5 orthopedic surgeons in the midwest.
And you women who hold living at home as a horrible sin, why dotn you let us poor **stards come live with you?
yep ya wont will ya. I know one or two women id like to have a real realationship with, but since i cant have one at home, or without money or employment, and they have their own lives, they really cant help me out.
thats all. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:11:56 PM | Hey, I do not live in my parents home, on the contrary, my 82 year old mother lives in my home with me. Do you think that makes her undateable? Because I do hope she meets a nice man and starts an LTR with him and moves out so that I can regain my freedom and be eligible to all those ladies who .....
Some people! | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/25/2007 10:26:40 PM | I recently moved out of my parents' home. I was a Boomeranger for the last five years after having too much trouble finding work after the dot com crash combined with 9-11 and Enron doing a number on the economy. My father urged me to come home and regroup to find a job. I did after a year and then he urged me to save up a down payment as opposed to renting again.
So I did and finally moved out of home a week ago into my nice condo. The big toll my stint at home was my dating life. Many women just walked when they found out I was at home...despite that I had a good job and plans for my future. Most women don't want to deal with that. One even told me honestly that there are plenty of men out there who have condos and apartments right now, so even if I am a very decent guy, there are better picks for her than me.
I think the big deal for most women is that being on your own, especially owning, is a sign that you as a man have a future. Unfortunately there are also a lot of women who see it as a meal ticket. Many women who will try to slither their way into moving in because they themselves cannot afford to move out of their parents' home. I've seen some women who basically move in with every boyfriend they find...simply because they want the meal ticket. I slap my forehead at how naive those guys are.
I think for every guy who is living at home for GOOD REASONS...if the women out there are rejecting you for it, then check out more European family oriented women. Especially Greek, Polish, Italian, and other family oriented cultures. Many of them see living at home normal until you get married. Not the American logic of get out when you're 18 or when you graduate college.
I also say that for men who are Boomerangers like I was, turn the tables when you move out. Don't date women who live at home unless they are there for good reasons. Also DO NOT let a woman move in with you UNLESS you are engaged to her and DO NOT rent or purchase property with her...again not unless you are engaged. Seen way too many men and women royally mess themselves up by getting a place with a significant other, then a breakup happens in less than a year.
I personally think Americans need to get out of the logic that someone living at home for any reason is a failure. It's funny how much we hear and talk about pushing "family values", but then we turn it around and say you have to leave your family at age 18 or after college. I think someone should move out when they are ready, and if they spent all that time and money in college only to come into a crappy job market...then they should stay home until they get a good job and their life going.
Men and women shouldn't look down on boomerangers who are at home for good reasons. It's outdated logic in today's economic and social climate. I especially think how ridiculous it was when some would rattle me for when I was at home, but they were renting apartments or even paying on condos...but it was their PARENTS who were making the payments! How is that different then? | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/25/2007 10:52:58 PM | This situation is becoming more and more evident here in Western Australia.
Our state has gone real estate mad, and the landlords have become money crazed.
If a person split's from a spouse or a relationship ends in one way or another, there is no way on this earth a single person can possibly survive (on the basic wage).
Half (sometimes more) of the average wage goes to the greedy landlords. A home that cost $175 per week two years ago, now costs on average $350 perweek, and you must out bid other tentants to secure that house.
More and more people are moving back with their parents, and kid's are staying at home longer (even my 6 year old hasn't moved out yet)
I would date someone who lived at home with their parents, I don't see this as a major flaw, besides I have my house for those quiet moments, so it's not a big deal.
Living at home doesn't make you a lesser person. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 9:19:24 AM | I think this is another example of the differences between dating in different countries, there's a whole separate thread on that on a different board.
None of this would be a big deal in Europe, where living with one's parents (or VERY close to them) is perfectly normal, has nothing to do with 'independence', privacy isn't HOLY like it is in the US and means something totally different anyway, and intergenerational 'rebellion' (or at least the pretense thereof) isn't 'required by law'......
In North America, guys who live with their parents past the age of 18 are viewed as losers, regardless of what the actual circumstances may be. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 10:50:51 AM |
"guys who live with their parents past the age of 18 are viewed as losers"'
I thought so, too, until I applied some logic. I'm divorced with no kids and I'm almost 50. Why would I buy a house now?
I can't get it paid off until I'm into my seventies. I'm tied to one spot, I'm at risk from falling home prices and job loss. So there's risk but for what reward?
So I can have privacy for sex? I mean, dang, I'm looking at four or five good lays per year if I'm lucky, I can just rent a hotel room for the weekend which is better because I can travel around.
For more space? I have 2,000 sq ft to myself on 2 1/2 acres.
To store stuff? I don't own much now, I gave it to my wife and I have no desire to replace it.
The more I thought about it, the less sense it made to buy a house.
My life is easier and there's no much downside. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:00:48 AM | "guys who live with their parents past the age of 18 are viewed as losers"
Viewed by who? Which (soap TV) "audience"? Is it local, national or global?
In this globalization era, who is a winner and who is a loser is a very temporal thing (can last 6 minutes and can change during the commercial break).
Welcome to the Globalization show! If you look around the table and cannot tell who is the one being played, that means it is YOU (old poker rule of thumb). Cazino dynamics! Make your bets while the ball is rolling! And the R.E. bubble is still growing. The other bubble burst in 2000 and left a lot of people stranded, online!
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:21:30 AM | I share a house with my mother and Brother. It's not so much as still living at "home". It's like living with roommates. I have my shiit together, work a full time job and am also tied up in different organizations, write stories and getting published lately like mad. I even repair things at the house when it breaks down, split the bills every month, and even operating my Arts Foundation from my makeshift office; It's perfect!! I like the living arrangement here and am not ashamed to admit it, REGARDLESS of what anyone says about it. It sure the hell keeps money in my pocket rather than shelling all my hard earned cash to a greedy ass slumlord or live in a small apartment with no room to grow
I hate apartments | |
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blee
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Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 94 | |
| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 8:11:10 PM | Yet we keep going for the Hot ones when will we ever learn to break this vicious cycle....
Wake up guys please wake up for once put your****away, and let use your brains. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 8:42:25 PM | [So I can have privacy for sex? I mean, dang, I'm looking at four or five good lays per year if I'm lucky, I can just rent a hotel room for the weekend which is better because I can travel around.]
Broward I'm sorry this just struck me as funny...........Thanks I need a good chuckle LOL !!
I think each situation will be different. Each individual has to decide for themselves if having parents around is an issue and go from there.
I love my parents dearly and if they had to live with me I'd make the sacrifice and I am sure they would reciprocate. To each their own.
Tracey | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 9:37:32 PM | I just would like to bring back something I think the OP mentioned in his initial post about society...
I'm taking a Media class right now and it talks about the effects of marketing etc...
Socially speaking, the family unit of back in the day is an existance due to economic restraints. I mean, back in China, you still have many generations living under the same roof, especially in the country side.
But in today's capitalistic creation of culture (the producers artificially creating a culture to create demand for a product that would otherwise be over produced)
Markets would crash if everyone lived the same way they did back then. you would only NEED one TV, Microwave, etc... operated and owned under the family unit.
Thus, the producers must create the need (which they have done and are getting better and better at) for the seperation of the family unit in order to have consumers...
It is only a social taboo because, this is the way American society evolved (away from the nuclear family of what? the 20s onward?)... this is hardly an issue in many other places around the world (Although some places are following in America's footsteps).
I live at home with my mom, and can't wait to get out... but right now, I'm just not capable of doing so... not for another year or so I think. sigh... | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/26/2007 10:41:53 PM | | my roommates ****ed me and i'm back at my parents. its just the stigma that yea, he must be lazy. but there are so many other factors. like the fact that here in alberta the average price of a 1 Bed room apartment is 800-900 dollars. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/27/2007 10:52:50 AM | I don't think I would have a problem with a man who was living with his folks or had them living with him. I'd be more concerned if he WANTED to be doing this. There are a billion reasons he may be in that position but if that was his long term goal then I think I'd look elsewhere. I think it's common at a certain age especially 30+ to want to have your own life/family and home. It only seems like a rational idea. Then again in a lot of European families there are 3 or more generations that live together and it's the norm and seems to work for them. I think it's a hard question to answer because it all depends on the individual.
Some woman may feel like being with a man who's still at home isn't going to be as stable - how can you take care of a future family if your not supporting yourself? That could be one take on it. I personally don't know anyone still living at home. We all moved out in our early 20's it seems. It was something everyone seemed to want to do. Now, whether or not they've gone back inbetween I'm not sure. But I'd rather ask the parents of adult children if they really want their 30 something year olds moving back in? I bet most of them would be like "HELL NO!!' because they've got their own lives going on. Interesting topic. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 6/27/2007 10:57:04 AM | | i dont have a problem with men living with their parents as long as its not a life time. maybe their waiting to meet someone and then make plans in the future to getting a place together ? just a thought | |
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