| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/15/2009 10:27:21 PM | | who cares man, for some girls its a deal breaker, for some its not. some women dont understand guys cant walk into a dental office flash some cleavage and get a 35 thousand dollar a year receptionist job straight out of highschool. im 29 and proudly still live at home. i pay rent, buy my own groceries, and help out as needed. in turn i havent had to live in some seedy apartment with guy friends that smells like stale beer, pot, and cigs 24/7. that or live on my own not being able to save any and barely affording the basics after rent on something ill never own. through living at home im surrounded by loved ones, have a nice car paid off in my name, and 60 grand saved up on a down payment for a house. the bigger the down payment the less the mortgage, the more luxuries and excpendable cash. i could afford to move out now but am in no rush. id rather live at home till i meet the right girl and get married. its just good economics. any girl who passes on me because of it is their loss. family is important to me and i like helping them out till im ready to leave. i have found most of the women who have problems with it came from broken families, and left home when they were 16, or those that just think if you dont live on your own you cant afford to, thus not being able to support them. (aka gold diggers) or the type that dont want you to have anything to do with your family when your in a relationship with them. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/15/2009 10:35:29 PM | | i have been reading threw all these replys,and i can relate to it i am currently back at my moms house due to a break up with my daughters mother ,i dont think anything is wrong with staying with family ,as long as u arnt takeing advantage of them !in my situation i had to swallow my pride to move back home but sometimes things in life come up and u have to take it for what it is !in the long run all u have is family and if u end up haveing to goback with your parents for whatever reason i think that shows alot of love on your parents part to help u as much as they can in situations were u need help to get back on your feet!and the people on hear that are takeing care of there elderly parents god bless you! | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:03:32 AM | Sorry OP
I gave dating a guy who lived with his mom a try. He was a good man held a job worked hard and really cared for me. Until he started liking me and spending a little too much time with me. His mother broke out with her Mama's Boy super powers and it was war. She miniputalted him in ways that I would never think a mother would do to her son. She got upset when he took me out and didn't take her (on our dates btw). She'd try to say nasty little things about me and make him feel bad for liking me. She couldn't say much about me because we couldn't communicate because we speak to different languages. When I got pregnant she told him he was stupid and he tormented me through out the whole pregnancy when before she put her two since in he was happy about it. She stole my keys locked me out of the house. She'd initiate fights and talk shyt about me on purpose to him. He simply allowed her to run me away just like all the other women in his life. Because she wanted him to be her companion, because no other man was willing to deal with her. I got tired of being second priority to his mother so I left. I'd never do it again. It was the most horrible experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. He even said that no woman would ever love him like his mother and he has to stay and do what she wants so that she can understand that she loves him because if he left that would mean in her eyes that he didn't love her. He also said I have one mother I can have more children or get another wife and other sick ass shyt like that. How could a woman ever compete with a man in love with his mother? | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:42:54 AM | | In this day and age it's more and more common & shouldn't really be a problem. This economy is brutal and a lot of people out there are unemployed or underemployed & working jobs like a cashier at Wal-Mart. I'm blessed to have a pretty good job and a place of my own. The girl I'm talkin to right now is living at home with her folks since she's in a pretty tough graduate school program & isn't able to work full-time right now. I think I'd be crazy to cast her aside due to the fact she lives at home b/c she's a really great girl. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:11:08 AM | | I don't think it's just men living at home, not at all. I live at home and a lot of guys look down on that too. I am not in a hurry to move out, because I think i'd be lonely. Yes I have a child who also lives here with me & my parents. But that isn't quite the same as living with someone else. I am not really close to anyone around here to be room-mates with, and I don't want to move in with a guy too quickly. When it's right to move out, I will. For the mean time, as long as my relationship with my parents is good...I don't mind being here. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:52:55 AM | @Isabel Kitty - but you are 23, the OP is 35. Most of the men you would date do not have children with them on a full time basis. I would bet that most of the women the OP dates have children.
So, a woman doesn't want a new man in her life to meet her kids until she knows the relationship is going somewhere, and he lives with his folks - so does that make the relationship go to a hotel just for privacy? Not even talking sex yet - just to watch a movie with privacy, where is the couple to go? Or for them to make dinner for each other? She will get the house when the kids go to their dad's or she can get a sitter - but he can't exactly kick his parents out so he can have the house to himself, now can he?
I don't think it is so much a social taboo against men, so much as it is a thing that women don't do so much as men. I know of several adult men who live with their folks, and I know of NO adult women who do the same. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 5:15:01 AM | | I completely agree with your conclusion. I've dated men in the past that still lived at home in order to save a house deposit, or they were studying and could only work part time. They contributed towards the bills, took turns to cook for the family etc. However, I wouldn't date someone that openly admitted to having plenty of money but liked to use their mother as a free servant. That type of guy is a total loser, and trust me, there are plenty of them around. Commen sense tells a girl which kind of guy she is talking to! On the reverse side, some guys that I've dated with their own place, lived on take-aways as they couldn't/wouldn't cook, their house was filthy to the point of being smelly, and they lived on borrowed money (credit cards, loans etc). That is truly scary to me. A guy like that, completely irresponsible in every way possible is simply waiting for some girl to come along and clean up his act for him, basically act like his mother but with sex on the side. I've had the room mate experience too ... far worse than having a parent in the same house sometimes! For me, the roommate had rampant sex all over the flat and didn't care that we could hear. We ended up staying in his room all the time. I'm a private person and would hate to think other people were listening to me. Age has taught me that you cannot judge a person's character on their living arrangements, no way! | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:31:39 AM | I wouldnt date a guy who lived with his parents... No matter how they sugar coat it, they are too reliant on them in the end. I prefer completely self reliant and independant men who at the age of 35 have achieved something for themselves even if it is as little as their own apartment! Pfffft...
^T^ | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:13:32 AM | | I was hanging out with a friend who's 38 and lives at home. We were in a pub when he started a conversation with this women. He mentioned that he lived at home do to financial difficulties. She frowned upon him and said that she hasn't lived at home for years. Come to find out, she has 3 kids, lives on section 8 and is on welfare. What is this world coming to? | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:06:06 AM | Why do men blame "women's lib" for all the world's problems?
The problem here is not women being liberated, the problem here is men who subconsciously hate women and have a problem with the fact that women are taking on new roles within society...roles outside of the home, outside of the kitchen, and outside of childbearing. Some men are clearly still bitter about this, and go the route of blaming all the ills in the world on the fact that women now have rights/ a voice in society.
It's sickening, really.
I would think that you would WANT independence if you're a man. Why would you want to be living under mama's roof, while her and her new boyfriend or hubby are ****ing in their bed in the next room? It's going to be pretty awkward to date a woman if you're still living with your parents...if you eventually start having sex, you'll be ****ing in your parent's house, probably while your mother is sitting right across in the living room, sipping on her last glass of Koniak, hearing everything.
I would think you'd want to bring your woman home to your own house/apartment and have some private time with just her, and show her your place. And vice versa, she can bring you to her's. Because that's what ADULTS do. They get their own places to live, to start THEIR own families. And maybe they don't want to start a family, but when you grow up, you get your own assets...your own job, your own money, your own house, your own car, etc...mommy's not always going to be there.
Nothing wrong with living with mom/dad if you're say...out of work, or a college student trying to make it, but to stay with them indefinitely? Yeah...no. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:48:08 AM | | I look at it this way. Unless a woman is trying to get married the next day and needs a place for the newly wed couple to stay cause she is without, then where a man rest his head is and should be irrelevant unless he is staying with some woman who he could be sleeping with. More importantly any woman who tries like all hell to avoid a man's family after a certain amount of time after thier in a relationship is no good woman for that man, how does it look as a man to have a woman who is fearful of a man's family to the extent that she won't even want to socialize amongst them? | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:56:05 AM | kajiwortore,
unless the parents are bit*hing for their son to move out then i don't think there's anything wrong with it.
adult kids can be an asset around the house and if they're nothing but a liability then maybe it's time to go.
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:59:54 AM | sharkslayer 101,
she has 3 kids, section 8 and on welfare.........and she's frowning on him???
so we're really supposed to support her on this right? LOL, actually we are because it's our freakin tax dollars that's keeping her azz going.....she's pathetic.
i think i'd be frowning at her...... | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:08:21 PM | I've personally never found anything wrong with a man living with his parents, just like I wouldn't frown on any adult woman that was doing the same. It really does come down to cultural influence, the stronger the family bond the more likely the norm of living with your parents. It doesn't/shouldn't mean that one is lazy, heck I know a dozen of adults that are still living with their parents, still paying for expenses and helping out with household chores...In my opinion there is nothing more beautiful than coming home to a full house with people you love, family is important to a lot of people they shouldn't be scrutinized because of it, if anything I find it odd that some people can go months /years without seeing their parents when they live in the same town!.
My ideal man would be someone that has an extremely close relationship with his family, whether he lives with them or not it's neither here or there. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:15:14 PM |
I've had the room mate experience too ... far worse than having a parent in the same house sometimes! For me, the roommate had rampant sex all over the flat and didn't care that we could hear
Is it worse to hear the room mate having sex or the parents? | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:42:02 PM | I watch a reality TV show, this season they had a man who many thought was hot, I didn't see it but to each his own. Thing was, seems he lives in his parent's basement (he's in his 30s) now that may not be true but it was what people thought. I found that questioned to me what he does with his life, if I was looking for a man to start a family with, and also why is he there. Many seemed not to care, he was hot, they wanted to do him (many of them married women) called him their TV boyfriend (seems to be a trend) and found lusting after him completely harmless. I don't know, to me it's harmful to a relationship but apparently I'm wrong, they are in relationships and I'm not.  He had that sort of bad boy, sort of charming, sore of mean personality that so many women in bars find irresistible, me, I find it revolting, again, that's just me.
I'm not sure I have a point, except that the many women who posted their love for him, and the many America's who went to the trouble to vote for him to win money and moon over him, it would seem if you are hot, living in your parent's basement is cute and even a good trait for a future TV husband, but now if he was butt-ugly, I'm not sure these same women would have been all huffy defending him and saying it was rude to even say he lived in his parent's basement. You live & learn. 
I would have to know why he lived with his parent's, how long, you know, the whole dealio, then I would make a judgment as to whether it bothered me or not. But for TV reality show contestants, blah, the man lives in his parent's basement, he's a loser.  | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:31:07 PM | It depends on the situation. EG: Disability, Terminal Illness, etc. There are many examples of Parents moving in with thier children due to economic reasons, abusive relationships, etc.
In these days & times, you just never know or you think you know until it happens to you! | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:35:42 PM | Lack of ability to take care of oneself is women repellant. That's not society. That's nature.
If you're in a crappy situation and you're being forced to stay with your parents for the time being but you're making an active effort to get out of it, that's one thing. But if you're content to live with your parents and see nothing wrong with it, you have chosen to remain a child and rejected the notion of growing up. Guess what, women are attracted to men, not children.
When you embrace manhood, you get to enjoy the perks. When you reject it in favor of staying a child, do not be upset when you do not get the rewards of manhood. That's like not showing up to work and expecting to get paid. It doesn't work like that. | |
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| Men living with their parents: A social taboo?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:50:04 PM | tx2step99 wrote:
"I have my mother living with me. She doesn't work and has very limited income, so I'm not going to put her on the street or in a nursing home. Why is it ok for a woman to take care of her parent(s) and TABOO when a man does it? ....I have my own house, a good job, pay my bills and my own vehicle. So any woman who doesn't want to get to know me cause I'm taking care of my mother can just keep on going. "
Good for you, man. TV commercials tell us that G.I. Joe toys are "real American heros", but men like you really are. Seriously. Being able to do what you're doing shows that you're an outstanding person.
Robert | |
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