| What would you do?
Posted: 6/6/2007 3:02:19 PM | I think it's good to be able to be with the buddies from time to time but every Friday does seem a bit much. I personally think I would skip a Friday here and there for my girl friend.
I'm not sure I would play the game of going out with the girls every Saturday. It just looks too obvious and he might not appreciate the fact you're going out of your way to push him into giving up the Fridays.
Hey, just ask..."can we go out on a Friday sometime?" Assure him that you appreciate his down time but it would be nice to have a change of calender.
As mentioned before...24/7 is not the way to go....it's good each person has some time to themselves without feeling guilty.
Good Luck,
EugeneW | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/6/2007 5:14:08 PM |
Do not make someone a priority if they only make you an option ..
Wow, that is an awesome quote. I think I need to steal that one. So simple, yet so easy to disregard.
I understand what you're saying, but I also understand wanting to keep some time with his buddies. Have you ever joined him on Fridays? How did it turn out? To me it would make sense to maybe join him on one of his Fridays every month and see if you can get him to give you one of his Fridays every month. Seems like a compromise. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/6/2007 5:47:20 PM | Frau Wrote:
[He probably likes having a night out with his buds where he doesn’t have to worry about working the next day. Why not compromise? Ask him if he’d take you out every other Friday night. When it’s not your Friday together, you can either go out with the girls or accompany him to the bar.]
I agree with this in that as individuals we need to maintain some freedom and self identity beyond the relationship. I truly believe that man and women a like need to hang out with their drunken idiot friends from time to time. I think it’s so much worse to be with someone who is such a wimp they give up all their friends stays with you 24/7 and makes you their whole existence. Give me someone less sensitive and an independent person that understands balance anytime.
I am friends with a couple that each goes out three times a week socializing she goes to her thing he goes to his. They meet up later in the evening or the next morning. The other days they are out together or at home together. Hey have three kids and are arguably the happiest couple I know. He was my mate prior to getting married we were out almost every night. She new that and loves the person he is. For him going out is part of who he is. They have found a balance and each always makes their relationship the priority. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:52:32 PM |
If he is not willing to compromise, perhaps you need to rethink your relationship with him.
I'd say he's not willing to compromise. Sounds like he wants his cake (Friday's with the boys) and eat it too ((get's laid (I'm assuming) on Saturday's).
I'd also be worried he's an alcoholic. Out 4 times a week??
The biggest thing is his unwillingness to compromise. I feel for you, but you're allowing it. Take creativeguy's (I think) advice and make your own plans so the next time he says "what are we doing on saturday" you can say... oh.... about saturday....
Pretty soon you'll know whether you are more to him than a weekly .... whatever...
Lots of fish in the sea hon... no need to settle... good luck | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/7/2007 9:57:11 PM | Kevin,
You are a very wise man, that is the best suggestion I have heard thus far. I have joined him on a Friday, and it was fun. I don't love hanging out in bars, but I do love being with him. What you suggest is extremely fair, and a great compromise, and I think you are brilliant. Thank you! Thanks to the others for weighing in too, but please revisit the notion that I am not trying to give us his "with the boys time", since he sees the same guys two other nights during the week too. Truth is I am not a priority when EVERY Friday is off limits, and we never discuss it. I bet Kevin's plan may work perfectly! Thanks again........................................ | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/8/2007 2:18:56 PM | I may have missed something, but I don't see where you asked him to go with you to the fest and explained that everyone else is going as a couple and you didn't want to go alone. If that's the case and he still turned you down, I can understand the problem. But if you didn't talk to him about it and tell him how important it is to you that he be there too, then you can't blame him for proceeding 'business as usual'. I don't see that you are 'an option' for him, anymore than he is 'an option' for you. I also have no idea how old you two are; if he's been doing his fridays forever with his friends, maybe that's the one thing in his life that he holds as a constant and doesn't want to lose. All too often, we change our lives for someone else, then they decide we're 'not the one', and then we're left with nothing. Sounds to me that you expect to be 'more of a couple', and he isn't ready to settle down yet, at least not give up what he likes to do for what you want him to do. He likes hanging out at the bar on fridays with his friends, he isn't going out with anyone else, is that really so much of a threat to you? Do you feel that you should be owning his weekends? And like some others here said, can't you find anything else to do on fridays?
Oh, and the 'have his cake and eat it too' is last century think, where only guys were thought to enjoy sex and women only used it to 'hook a man'. For those women out there who still think 'letting a guy have sex with you' is a favor to him, well, if you don't enjoy it too, then don't do it. There are plenty of twenty first century women out there who will. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:00:12 PM |
Oh, and the 'have his cake and eat it too' is last century think, where only guys were thought to enjoy sex and women only used it to 'hook a man'. For those women out there who still think 'letting a guy have sex with you' is a favor to him, well, if you don't enjoy it too, then don't do it. There are plenty of twenty first century women out there who will.
Says you.......
What... ummm... expression (cause that's ALL it is) would YOU use to describe a guy who is out all nights of the week with his buddies.... unwilling to give up Friday night (date night) for his girl... regardless of her asking him to??? It's a freakin expression FFS!
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/8/2007 5:54:58 PM | | oh stop whining and tell him to come by when hes done playing with the boys. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/8/2007 6:54:12 PM | My opinion,,, except what you can get right now Darlin.
If he gets serious about you he will likely drop his date with his buddies soon and choose you over them,
Do not try and change him,,,,, | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:29:22 PM | | If you have given him plenty of notice about the couples night, and he's not working, there should be no reason for him not to forego his friday nights with the boys. He should be able to give up one night to go out with you on a friday, especially if it means a lot to you. Thats my two cents. | |
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