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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1001 | |
| Leaves... Posted: 5/1/2009 4:32:19 PM | thanks, woob, sophia. But you know how you can read something the next day...:/ I actually have to agree with a certain someone, that the first three stanzas don't work. I don't see any surprise in them, and they do appear, cliche'-ish. Too hard of a start, too. well, anywayz, it's all good learning...
ok, a quick thought before night falls...
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Oh forest
Sacred timber
Where hides a dryad?
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well, it's not subtle, but an honest thought, at least. a good weekend eh! | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/2/2009 11:17:39 PM | There is this beautiful old farm house in Bronte Creek Park that is absolutely gorgeous.
Spindles and rungs of Drooling confectionary inlays
Mastery, woodworking A human mind skilled
In achieving the ultimate Ornate lattice, cornucopia Of decadence in an old country farm house Earthy greens and stark white
Red rings, rust brick, inlays Framed against old gnarled, knotty, owl trees
I thought I had died and gone to heaven Gazing up at this masterpiece
Feeling very small and insignificant Beside such grandeur. | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/3/2009 10:03:33 AM |
Where hides a dryad?
she's with Priapus....he's got a woody.....(oh, I'm so bad.... )
Om, I didn't think the first three were that bad, but it is your poem to change whenever you wish...once you write it it's not in stone....lol...please save the last three lines that Sophia pointed out, they were killer....I loved them too...
it's rather hard to avoid cliches, since somewhere someone has written it or said it....we've inherited a hand-me-down world....ooops, there goes a cliche now...lol... | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/3/2009 10:11:06 AM |
Posted: 4/30/2009 4:07:03 PM In So Much Tomorrow
Coke-slept and bluffed, on silver and moon Alone in the foliage Smoking wind
Sunset-sad and colours, in the possible beauty You take out your heart In the dust
Beneath the night, there is shelter and sky Smouldering silver And rust
In so much tomorrow You curve your eyes
Hurling sleep into the loom
Why dissect the poem at all? I really like it just the way it is. The wording has meaning - at least to me I think it works!! | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/3/2009 12:02:21 PM | yes, to me I get the feeling you're alone, in the woods, under the moon, a crisp night...your heart is in your throat from the beauty of it, and for being shown the beauty of potential in tomorrow...
so see, whether you like the poem or not, it stirred something in me... | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1006 | |
| Leaves... Posted: 5/3/2009 8:05:42 PM | oh you gals, I'm feeling ...stroked...all of a sudden. well, it was ok, but it doesn't satisfy me now, and altimately, I write them for my own sense of satisfaction. I'll rewrite it, I think, cause I was on to something, but I'll let it steep a little longer. anywayzz, thanks gals!
ok, this was all I could think of this weekend and yes , I don't think too much some weekends
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How to Love Your Nymphomaniac
Let the napkin sleep a round
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ok, I should head back to Rome now...:/ | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/3/2009 8:43:48 PM |
she's with Priapus....he's got a woody.
Priapism......just another hard luck story!!
om tiddley pom..... been too long ringy dingy....
Idiot this week??
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/4/2009 7:28:51 PM |
How to Love Your Nymphomaniac
Let the napkin sleep a round
public displays of affection
do it in a bathroom stall on a picnic table in the park
---though, exhibitionist and nymphomaniac aren't exactly synonymous, are they? lol | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/4/2009 7:38:42 PM | do it in a taxi quietly amid the stalls patiently on the ground passionately why don't we do it in the road no one will be watching us so he said (hard to believe) | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/4/2009 8:09:41 PM | scotch gives me courage
the golden nectar of island sin (single malt!) poor me a glass and i'll begin again! mind flows freely under the soft mellow buzz of spirited juice that i so love every one and everything once under the sun i want to sing | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1011 | |
| Leaves... Posted: 5/11/2009 6:44:20 PM | ^^^------thanks for dropping by, leaving a poem...:) ````````````````````````````````````````````````
#23
I fall asleep in the subway
We met in a park. | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/11/2009 8:31:39 PM | # 24
I fell asleep in the subway
the Jane Finch corridor rattles in my mind like the rails to nowhere | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1013 | |
| Leaves... Posted: 5/15/2009 11:38:32 PM | | ^ ha, yeah, it's almost like a trip through Harlem eh? | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1014 | |
| Leaves... Posted: 5/15/2009 11:42:36 PM | In So Much Tomorrow(Revised)
If I smooth a rosewood Right here Could you tell its fortune?
Whatever people say I can not remember
All-day-words, tapping like rain
Each night I return to a room Sun-dried and pine This powdered heart
It is not a place for rest It is here In a circle of trees
So what if the cities are powdered in rosewood dust In so much tomorrow We curve our eyes
Hurling sleep into the loom | |
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| Leaves... Posted: 5/16/2009 12:12:21 PM | | Re 1014: My God, this is good! | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1016 | |
| Leaves... Posted: 5/19/2009 2:18:11 PM | | thanks Jer, means a lot, mate. | |
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| words on leaves Posted: 5/19/2009 7:57:02 PM | tisk tisk a teacher taught that wht the *uck can start with many letters!
all those after are purely lost grammer;)
We have taught our children well? Not I say bring back the strap!
then again they do learn by sight,voice reaction tones | |
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| words on leaves Posted: 6/1/2009 6:56:03 PM | children live well teach their lessons in the moment of learning how to be here and now enjoying and exuberent suffering and despondant
we teach well the lessons we have learnt | |
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| words on leaves Posted: 6/2/2009 9:15:17 PM | I took your name rolled it around my tongue caressed the sound with my heart and mind That was then now the sound is etched with acid poisoned with hate too late to forgive I am adrift no sweet song a heart fractured waiting for a name | |
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| words on leaves Posted: 6/3/2009 8:48:08 PM | Hey, Om...I agree with the esteemed gentleman above. 1014 is something I wish I'd written.
Nice place you have here, too...
Thanks, eh? | |
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| words on leaves Posted: 6/3/2009 8:52:05 PM | Hello, Om I see your roots have taken hold... That is a mighty fine piece of art... | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1022 | |
| words on leaves Posted: 6/9/2009 11:00:16 PM | hey, you guys', good to see ya! pickles, did you be hurtin' your hand, Luv? sorry eh! Well, you still have the gift of word! There's a gooden! hi cookie hello shudden well, I just dropped by to say, hey, really. later, eh | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1023 | |
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| words on leaves Posted: 6/9/2009 11:06:28 PM | hey, if you're still on tonight, I wanted to tell you how good your poem was...but then again, I thought it was good the first time....and now I'm going to hurl sleep...or something like that....hurl sheep... | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 1025 | |
| words on leaves Posted: 6/11/2009 6:06:45 PM | oh, sorry I missed ya', Briso. well, I've been hurling a lot of sleep lately. I won't tell you what was in them , but lets just say they don't stick very well.
well, lets see if the hall mods wash this one off.
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A Hallmarker
All those whispers blowing through your hair
They can have your buttercups I don’t care
But should a bird Sing you a song
Then all my whispers Will live in your thong
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well, good enough for here.
All things om | |
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