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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > y do men find strong minded women a threat?      Home login  
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 Kynnie
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 65
y do men find strong minded women a threat?Page 5 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
A fair observation & very very wise observation by a very intelligent lady.
From ladyc4


The only strong minded women men feel threatened by are the women who aren't SMART enough to pick their battles wisely and assert themselves GRACEFULLY.
If you as a woman are constantly beating a guy over the head, insisting that everything be YOUR way, and telling HIM how to think and feel, I'm not sure that even meets the true definition of "strong minded". Truly strong minded women know when to stand their ground and when to NEGOTIATE. If a woman INSISTS on having her way in every litle thing and screaming out HER opinions on evey question, that is not "strong minded", that's simply being a pain in the *ss


This dynamic works both ways for both sexes, and frankly, bein a pain in the *ss isnt pleasant for anyone, let alone the person closest to you.
 Kieran26
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 66
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 9/18/2007 2:34:28 PM
I have met loads of strong minded women and they all have one thing in common. They are anti-men and pretend they are lesbian lol. It's all mind games and I'm better than you etc etc. At the end of the day we are messing around with natures instincts hence posts like this. Before the modern world it was always the man that was throwing the spears for the family. It's natural for men to be threatened by a strong minded women. Welcome to nature! You can't change instincts unfortunately. Some men are different though and like the woman to be more dominant than them. I find with successful women who have good jobs though, is that they expect their new partner to be the same as them, and just an average every day job just isn't good enough. I mean imagine telling your work collegues that your boyfriend is a low paid security guard?! God the disgust of it lol
 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 67
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 9/18/2007 2:43:36 PM
When i see 'strong minded woman' written out, i usually think 'lesbian'.




nah seriously though. If the relationship isn't equal, and if it's always gotta be a contest of who gets to be the domonant one, then it's not even worth it. Men & women are guilty of it. Some men say they must be the dominant one, and some women reply back like 'no no no.. i'm strong minded so we aren't going to have it like that" then you have two sides bickering over who should be stronger & put up with who's standards... In the meanwhile, a truly happy & simple couple walks by eating ice cream, overhears the arguement.. look at each other and say "wow.. sucks to be them, eh?"



*they walk over the horizon until they reach the vanishing point*
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 68
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 9/18/2007 3:20:35 PM
Because all too often "strong minded" and "strong willed" are code words for "Aspiring Queen b*tch of the universe."
 Stella Blue
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 69
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y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 9/18/2007 4:28:00 PM
First of all, I could barely make out exactly what the OP was trying to say.
Need to work on the grammer and spelling just a bit.
Secondly, What is your definition of a "strong minded" woman? This seems to be where all the debate is.
According to Merriam Websters it is "having a vigorous mind; especially : marked by independence of thought and judgment." If that is what we are truely talking about, anyone having a problem with that should be left behind quickly and dont look back.

Personally I find that there are a lot of men who love strong intelligent women. Sure there are man who are intimidated and that can be masked as a lot of things. There are also men who want a woman who is less intelligent than he is so he can feel superior. Who cares? Dont waste your time.

Being strong doesnt mean being dominant. I have no desire to dominate or change anyone. Nor do I want or would accept anyone who would try to change or control me.

Truely, I think this entire post is about semantics and the OP didnt give nearly enough information. Or maybe I just couldnt decipher it.

Peace
 *champrins*
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 70
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 9/18/2007 4:41:18 PM

Every nite came and he would go home from work and i would see him sign into msn and start chatting but he never used to ring,text,email or even chat on line with me!

And he didnt ring or return your texts.

He wanted to get out of this thing with you but didnt want the arguments and confrontations, evident by the mere existence of this thread.

He dumped you not the other way around honey. And coming on here spreading it all around in public, doesnt make you a strong woman. It means you wanted him and got rejected and you dont like that and are now putting him down publically as a payback, or to convince yourself it was him and not you.

Strong women dont do that.

If you are hurt by the rejection, please understand you cant MAKE a relationship and neither you nor him was WRONG. You simply werent made for each other.

Move on. Find one you fit with and let him do the same.
 CptDave
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 71
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 9/18/2007 5:17:16 PM
Intelligent, educated, quick witted and articulate is what I consider strong minded, how about you? Unintelligent, ignorant, closed minded but outspoken people whether men or women are hard to be around. They are argumentative simply because they don’t understand and don’t care to understand. I only date intelligent women, I enjoy being able to have a normal conversation with the person I'm dating. I enjoy when each of us gives 100%. I have no problem with respecting a woman’s intelligence, quite the contrary, it’s a turn on. However, your spelling is so poor it makes some of what you were trying to say almost not understandable. You also never provide any clear example as to what you may have done to make him feel threatened. I have trouble respecting this posting. It makes it impossible to give you an answer that pertains to your situation. They have this great new invention, its called spell check!
 greywolfrider
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 72
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/1/2007 6:15:10 PM
I don't,never have in my lifetime.i will say this: i accept a srong willed and intellent woman at any given time and in any given conversation.we are who we are,power too the people as alway's;kinda like we use too say in the 60ty's.
 cozer
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 73
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y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/1/2007 8:55:46 PM
What are we suggesting strong minds are appealing,,,,,, but strong wills if demanding and thowing temper fits is what we are discussing well who would want that....
A strong personality is a good thing, knowing who you are, using wisdom in speech, and settling things quickly and easily. Agree to disagree if need be,,, Strong women have had to become strong with survival skills, but a strong woman is not a nagger, or one who throws child like temper fits. ( unless they are with a child like man and cannot penetrate through to him, even in subtle converstaions.
A strong minded woman, is mature, secure, but not over powering. In my opinion a strong woman is an asset to a strong healthy man. They both need to have a proper match.
A strong woman does not mind staying home alone while he goes hunting for a week,
Perhaps I have answered this entirely wrong, but my view of a strong woman ( emotionally that is) is not a demanding person. One who can be alone by times,,,and get along with herself.
Weak men do not like strong women as they are often manipulators and they need a victim to keep the cycle going. For whatever it is worthm this is my view.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 74
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:20:30 AM
Women and men that are strong minded is ok but its the way they try to force thier beliefs and ideas on the other person.
 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 75
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:48:31 AM

y do men find strong minded women a threat?




Depends on what 'strong minded' REALLY means.

If it means "being bossy and b.i.tchy"...we don't find them to be a threat... we find them more of a nuisance.

"strong minded" sounds good when your read it on a screen... but actions speak louder than words and only when your actions are shown, the true meaning of what you are about & what your stand for either shines thru or rears it's ugly head.

I find that over-advertising ones self to be strong minded in POF profiles & stressing it too much is usually attached to baggage and anger... which are by-products of 'weakness'.

the real 'strong minded' dont advertise.

 akastar
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 76
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:51:23 AM
We tend to think of strength as a quality that arises from a place of firm determination and a will to succeed no matter the cost. Even though we might want to think of a strong woman as being defined in this way, what really makes a woman confident is her capacity for listening to her true self and being able to call upon her feminine wisdom to any situation that may arise. A woman does not need to step into an assertive role or act like a man in order to be effective at what she does—she simply needs to get in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.
Our capacity to tap into our intuition in order to take into account the needs of those around us, and to view a situation with compassion and love are ways that we can show the world the true power that is part of our feminine nature.
feminine energy redefines the meaning of strength. By embracing our feminine power as something that is strong in its own right, we are able to use it with true assurance and determination and draw upon what truly belongs to us.
That is the true meaning of a strong woman. Not a bully nor a **** but someone who truelly knows her inner strengths... and can love with the whole of her heart without appearing weak..
With love to all
Catherine aka star.xxx
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 77
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y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:54:16 AM
LOL! I don't know....but if I ever find a man strong (confident and accountable) enough to dominate me....I WILL marry him! LOL!

True dominance is NOT abuse; nor is true submission weakness...quite the contrary! Weak men seek weaker women, period! And please don't confuse whiny, manipulative behavior as "strength"... it is NOT. It's the tool of weak people. Get off the power trip! Both dominance and submission are the "gifts" that partners give each other as a sign of respect. I would personally find NO satisfaction in a relationship with a man I could push around. Nor would I tolerate being pushed around. BUT, give me a man who MAKES we want to please him and give him HIS way.....whooaaaa baby! Likewise, my "strengths" he sould see as a compliment to him, not competition with him. (Weak men are incapable of this)
 SPECIALLADY28
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 78
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:58:11 AM
I agree akastar. Words of wisdom.
 Jody1960
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 79
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 8:14:15 AM
I am a strong minded woman.....which doesn't mean I b*tch....it just means I know what I want & more than that what I DON"T want. Alot of men have a problem with that. But I'm me ...if you like me fine....if not oh well.
 Pamperpooch41
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 80
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 8:17:43 AM
I think there are some men out there who consider that showing a woman respect is a sign of weakness, so they feel the need to undermine the woman. There is a very strong set viewpoint with some men that a woman is the inferior species (I believe they call it Male chauvinism) and for these men, to let a woman have the last word would be a clear indication of inferiority and lack of manlyness, so they can't do it, even if they know deep down she may be right. However there is a new generation of men out there who believe much more in equality, and can respect their partner on an equal level, so don't give up hope. Just try to avoid Male chauvinist pigs in the future
 IMaPA
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 81
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 8:19:06 AM
Just accept the fact you had the wrong guy. Why do you have to ask such silly questions ??? To make yourself seem better, stronger, more intelligent or just superior in general ??? Walk away from it GLADLY. Do you WANT to be with someone who doesn't GET you ??? Do you want to be with someone who doesn't love or appreciate you ??? Count your blessings for the good times and the fact that you found out now , instead of 20 years and three STD's from now. If you are so strong and so superior to this mate, and they're obviously not, why would you want to be with them ??? Because you LOVED them ???? Get serious. You were in love with a lie. With someone you wanted, but didn't exist. Quit your whining.

If you're in a commited relationship, then yes, there are some things you give up. But you should be gaining so much more than anything you'd be giving up. You shouldn't ever had to change who or what you really are. If a person fell in love with you, they fell in love with you the way you are. Not with what they wanted you to become. You should never had to compromise your ethics or principles for the sake of someone else's ego. If you do, then YOU are the weak one, and if you were TRULY "raised right" as you say, then you would never cave into such a person.

You should look and evaluate yourself and why you'd choose to lower your self-esteem and your values to be with such a person like this. I'd say more than likely, the problem lies with you, not them. Afterall, you chose them and put up with their BS. Why else would you be such a doormat ???

 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 82
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 8:22:21 AM
As a mature, independent woman, I am strongly attracted to men in positions of power.
That kind of power does not translate into bullying but power that comes from quiet strength and success. I've almost always been in a position of management/leadership.

In a relationship, I'm attracted to someone that I greatly respect which allows me to
just enjoy; allowing any dominate qualities that I have to just lie dormant.

I've never been in a relationship where bickering and fighting existed.....even my marriage didn't resort to screaming and the like.

I've been divorced for 33 years and the only serious proposals I've had in that time were from very dominant men that tried to control me. I buck at control. I can think for myself.
I suppose that in more mature couples this balance is often difficult to maintain.

In your case OP, sounds like your guy just wasn't into real feelings. I think you are best off without him. I tend to judge people by how they keep their word. People who constantly drop the ball on what they said......tend to fall down on my list as to importance in my life.

Good luck to you.......I enjoyed reading your post...I could hear your accent in the words.
Becca
 Tregana
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 83
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y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 8:53:32 AM
This is my take on things.
A strong minded woman/man, can balance the Wants and needs that she/he has, and knows the difference.
She/He can make a statement about her/his opinion without making it sound like an attack on the other persons opinions or views.
He/she understands that there are somethings the other person likes that they don't. and isn't afraid to permit them the freedom to do what they like, without having to be in the other persons back pocket.
He/she accepts the others idiosyncrasies and understands that is the whole of the other person. And that is OK.
If she/he is more emotional about something or is getting out of hand, they are able to cool the situation or temper it without attacking, belittling or abusing the other person.
She/he recognizes that they don't always have to be right or wrong and probably aren't on all things.
She/he knows when to shut up and listen, rather than running off at the drop of a hat, when they don't have a clue.
He/she loves unconditionally, and permits those around them to follow and seek their own paths, likes, dislikes.
She/he also realizes that every person you meet is another chance to learn, and grow.
 yohanna2
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 84
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:33:49 AM
Hi Sun,
I don't know about the concept " a strong man wanting a strong woman by his side" or "a weak man wanting a weak woman by his side" but what I do know is that us women sometimes give up what we believe in to "please" a man. People in general weak or strong man or woman will use you if you put themselves in a position to be used. Women "stand your ground" and do it for you and don't feel guilty about your choices whatever those choices may be. Any person who cares for you deeply won't want you to do anything against your personality.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 85
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:09:18 PM
WOW just because a man is chauvinist he is a pig I was under the impression that a man opening doors and seating the lady before he sat down was a from of chauvalry men do them kind of things but still respect ladys.
 flawedangel
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 86
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:12:55 PM
I think it becomes a threat for them. Men are supposed to be the dominant sex, tinsel town pushes that image. With all those movies, shows and starlets using feminine wiles to get ahead, while men have the "natural" advantage being stronger, usually bigger. It really wasn't that long ago, that women gained the rights we have today. It's the norm I suppose, to believe women are the weaker sex. Starting from child hood, girls get kitchen sets, boys get building tools. What does that say? Then the fairy tales, which always seem to have a female in distress, and a male knight in shinning armor. Those images are pressed into our minds from childhood, so it's no wonder men have troubles accepting a strong, independent women when all their life they've been told a man takes care of everything, the woman cleans up. So, largely it isn't today's opposite gender's fault as much as history. Till we can break this cycle, men will always fear their manhood status in the face of a strong women. Yet, they tell us fairy tales aren't real.
 Tregana
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 87
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y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:51:42 AM
Damn I got a toy tractor, dolls I got I gave to my sister, tools, a ship, tools, nurse set untill I insisted I needed the dr one.. giggle.. hmm horse statues, etc.. rocking horse, spring bouncing horse.. yeah I am and was into horses. rofl.. hmmm..
 Badger3005
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 88
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y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/3/2007 1:06:54 AM
Well... I don't. Nor do any of my male friends.

I have heard it said before... but... well... in my experience it's a myth. An excuse. A fellow may not like a woman because she's rude or inconsiderate or whatever... and it is then labeled that he didn't like her because she was 'strong' or 'intelligent'.

If I like someone... I am going to be asking for their thoughts and opinions... if I don't get answers or input... well... how am I going to continue to be interested in who they are?

If you have a string of guys bailing on you... don't assume that they are intimidated by your intellect... look closer to home. Mayhaps you are demanding? Maybe you are flaky? Or too needy? Too insecure? Whatever... exactly the same kind of shortcomings that men can have. People are people... sometimes cool, sometimes vexing. Branding men as 'intimidated by strong women' is lazy thinking. Just like saying women only like men who treat them like garbage.

Badger
 Pamperpooch41
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 89
y do men find strong minded women a threat?
Posted: 11/3/2007 1:53:51 AM

WOW just because a man is chauvinist he is a pig I was under the impression that a man opening doors and seating the lady before he sat down was a from of chauvalry men do them kind of things but still respect ladys.


I think you'll find that chauvinist and chivalrous are actually completely different things. In fact they are so different, they are almost opposite.
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