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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/15/2008 10:37:32 AM | | Another one here. The prospect of divorce scares me silly, especially with today's odds. I notice that so many people are getting divorced these days. But that, in my mind, still does not change the fact that it is a devastating, disruptive, life changing event that will really crimp your style personally and financially for decades, if not the rest of your life. So I'm 44 and still pickin' | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/15/2008 6:26:40 PM | | I am 32 and have never been married. I was engaged once but it didn't work out. I am not in any rush to get married because, like a lot of people who have replied, I only want to get married once. The divorce rate is too high and it seems a lot of people have this mentality...oh if I get married, I can always get divorced. That's so sad. When, and if, I ever get married I want to know without a shadow of a doubt that this person is "the one." | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/15/2008 10:50:08 PM | | I am 42 and have never been married. I lived with someone for 14 years and the relationship ended rather suddenly and I am very happy that we never got married or had children. I too don't know if I will ever get married but I am not spending my life worrying about it. In this day an age; who cares... It doesn't change anything.... | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/15/2008 11:47:10 PM | 
I'm one of those over 30 and never marrieds.
I proposed once and only once.
But she had a different idea.
I feel any kind of clock ticking regarding any urgency to be married.
I'm not interested in meeting my future ex-wife.
I DO want to be in a LTR.
But, I don't think that marriage is necessary.
Unless that LTR is REALLY great.
And that's something that she would sincerely be interested in.
My last LTR, she wanted the "I do's".
But it wasn't all that great for me.
So, I ended it.
::shrugs:: | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/16/2008 12:44:11 AM | I am 35 and although i have had a couple offers i too have never thought I had found "the one". Is it a myth?? I think not. Most people just bug the shit out of me starting at some point and getting progressively worse so probably best that i am still unmarried. I think best not to go into that kind of contract unless it is someone you are willing to make some sacrifices for.
However, you can still have a GREAT thing (long term too) without all the silly paperwork....
Just my 2 cents.
@:) | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/16/2008 9:58:37 AM | I'm in this boat too! I've came close to getting married twice, but things just didn't seem right. So here i am fishing!  lol!
In my opinion, it's better to have never married than to be on your 5th divorce! | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/16/2008 10:33:04 AM | i just got out of a 6 year relationship because of my line of work. i have been with her since 26 and now at 32 i am starting over again. i have been on a few dates now, and i actually cant stand it. Even before my last relationship, i never dated much because i was always going to school. Dating sux because its like interviewing someone for a job. i feel like a high school kid starting over. oh well i'll get over it. thanks for hearing me vent.  | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/16/2008 4:18:18 PM | I'm 38, never married, never lived with anyone, does that make me bad according to current society? should I give up on dating?
I moved to another country when I was 28, since then was busy keeping out of the way of trouble and living responsibly. Not that guys didn't interests me but it is harder to trust guys who act differently in a different culture. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:19:28 PM | Well because of my bitter bad streak of luck in the men department it brought me to find the love of my life at 35. Still at 37 I have never been married nor engaged. I guess I thank fate in a way because regardless of all the bad luck I had, it all brought me to the one who will grant me unconditional love and everlasting happiness. Ask me if I'd change anything about it I'd tell you HELL NO! I'd do it all over again if I had to. Society has a way of putting undue stress on people especially when you come from a European background! :)  | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:10:12 AM | This is another post I have tracked and posted to before. Now that I think upon it more, I would rather be 35 and unmarried than 35 with a string of bad relationships and 1 if not more failed marriages under my belt.
So after much consideration I'd rather be unmarried than divorced. That gives me at least one thing left to believe in. (R.I.P. Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and honest politicians) | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 8:44:57 AM | I didn't get married until I was 39ish. (Now divorced)
Earlier generations married younger because women relied on men to finacially support them. It was like you had to get married or live with your parents forever.
Now that women support themselves, there's no reason to get married unless you want a family or just want to get married.
When "that" study came out in the 80s saying that because there were so many more men than women, women needed to take what they could get... it made a lot of men turn into complete jerks, and women decided they'd be better off alone than with some abusive guy.
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 10:28:19 AM | When I was in college I had this idea that I would graduate college, work for a few years, then get married. Is it a shock that life doesn't work out the way you thought it would? I've been in a couple of long term relationships, one in college, the other for most of my late 20's where we even lived together a majority of the time. While we weren't married, when the relationship ended it felt like a divorce because our lives were so much intertwined.
I think it takes time to learn who you are and what makes you tick as a person. And for each of us the time required for this learning process is different. It's not that I've purposely waited until my 30's to meet someone. It's that I was still learning all about myself (which granted will continue my whole life), but I'm in a much better position today to know what works best in a relationship than I did 10 years ago. And I look forward to meeting a man who is in a healthy place and knows himself similarly. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 11:31:59 AM | | There's nothing wrong with being + 30 and never married. Considering the consequences of divorce today, I'm amazed that guys get married at all. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:30:19 PM | | I am 31, never maried, never engaged. I guess i spent most of my time in my 20s chasing down degrees and travelling and living life, so finding a suitable partner to come along wasn't easy. Hopefully though, one day ill slow down and let someone tag along....i like the idea of a committed partnership...be it marriage or whatever. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:33:36 PM | You are quite right. You haven't met the one. Maybe you will never meet her; who knows. I know a chap 38 or so. He would make a great husband/dad but works away all the time and has a ball If a girl came along that accepted him for what he was he might be o.k. In the main he just ditches them. Shame.
Only comment I would make (being older than you) single people, later in life, you can tell they are set apart from the rest. Don't know what it is but seem to become more singular minded and fussy.
I did meet a chap 53yrs old-really decent guy-good looking-single. At the end of the date all I thought of was he would drive me crazy. Men need a woman to sort them out. Same as women need a man. Somehow you don't grow right without them. Give and take so to speak. Just an obnservation | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/19/2008 11:16:27 PM | | I've had a few serious relationships, but none of them gave me the feeling that they really were the one. Mainly they wanted a fling or wanted to make someone jealous. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/20/2008 2:16:34 AM | I never thought I would fall in this catagory. I had my hopes for being in a lasting committed relationship before I was 25. It didn't turn out that way however. I still keep my hope. What I do have problems with is the whole waiting later in life to get married BS. I think it's a clever excuse to blame why you're not married on the divorce rate or lack of financial stability, or even other petty thing like education level. Sometimes a couple that struggles together, stays together. At it's most basic, I think the problem that exists are that people in general, given so many options these days, are scared to commit themselves in a marriage. Words like fidelity, monogamy, and exclucivity are hard for some people to digest. It's not just a 'male' epidemic. They, men and women both, see it as if they were giving up instead of sharing themselves more completely with another person, their lifelong companion, their best friend. 'Why buy the cow when I get the milk for free?' | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/21/2008 9:55:22 AM | 35 never been married and no intention to until i am sure, i am happy living in sin and what not.
I am a single mother and happy to not marry just anyone.. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:37:32 AM | | Yep, 36 here and never been married myself. Was in a LTR until about four months ago, and now on the outside & looking back it was for the best that the relationship did not continue. Although Im glad to find time for myself with this new freedom, does everyone think its hard now finding someone to click with now that we are in our 30's? | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/21/2008 5:52:52 PM | Response to BBWactress' comment "i don't beleive in it...simple as that."
It's very unusual in this world for women not to dream about marriage, romance and the whole package deal. I simply believe we are socialized that way without realizing it. Some people say marriage is nothing but a farce, others say it's mechanism of controlling women, some believe it's either outdated or it's about ensuring the production of a future labor force. I don't know about all that as I still believe in marriage but it's not a necessity for life. Companionship with a soulmate is what I mostly desire.
Very few of us ever take the time to figure out what will make us happy and our own personal truth before being saddled down with the responsibilities of marriage, family, career. Kudos to you BBWactress for listening to your inner voice! | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:08:46 PM | I'm 31 and have not been married or engaged to anyone yet..I want to find the right woman that completes the happiness Im looking for and vise versa..I have never been in a rush or just jump right into a relationship...I stay single to be ready for when i meet my loveing woman that will show me the love that im missing in a "healthy relationship"...I have good friends that I adore their love for one another and it keeps my faith strong that there is someone out there that will be the other half of my heart that wants to be happy and share the beautiful things in life..Michael | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:11:49 PM | | I'm 31 and have not been married or engaged to anyone yet..I want to find the right woman that completes the happiness Im looking for and vise versa..I have never been in a rush or just jump right into a relationship...I stay single to be ready for when i meet my loveing woman that will show me the love that im missing in a "healthy relationship"...I have good friends that I adore their love for one another and it keeps my faith strong that there is someone out there that will be the other half of my heart that wants to be happy and share the beautiful things in life..Michael | |
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| Re: If you're over 30 and never married, you're too picky.
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:18:29 PM | Response to RossMc's comment
Sorry, but that's a narrow-minded view of why people over 30 aren't married.
Some people who are unhappily married, or divorced today, are in that situation because they SHOULD HAVE been pickier back then about the direction of their lives, if marriage was right for them then and just who they were marrying. | |
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