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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/9/2009 5:15:09 PM | | Dido. I think that from a historical perspective women married early as a means of survival. Family life was the only option. However things have changed. Women are attaining higher levels of education and making their own money. We have goals that include and transcend family. As a result marriage has taken a backseat, but the institution is still valued. Everyone woman that I know in their 30's wants to be married but without sacrificing themselves or their goals in the process. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/9/2009 9:35:50 PM | 45, male, and never married. Not that i didn't want to, but I have always been the "too" guy. Too young looking, which females didn't like: I could pass for 13 at 15 and 17 at 24. Too short. Too smart (have been to that). Too different/unique. Finally, too old.
Also, women tend to be attracted to stupid and meaningless shyte like tattoos and pretenses, which is why so many marriages end in divorce. I have no tattoos and have never been good at pretending to be someone I am not, nor would I want to.
I spent my life being shot down for dates for all the above reasons and I am sure other reasons I never found out. Now I am faced with the choice of dating/marrying someone who has been divorced, given their best years to someone else, and probably would have shot me down twenty years ago, but now wants the "nice guy". It's the old, "Have the kids with the jerk alpha male, then hook up with the beta male to support his kids" routine, or them settling for me even though my stature doesn't make them quiver because sexual attraction has become secondary to calm and stability: No thanks.
I want kids a lot and the only way I could do that is to marry a younger woman. For me to get married it would have to be the whole package: Wife and kids of my own. I would not marry someone my own age, as most have kids and don't want anymore, or can't have anymore. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:46:08 AM |
(OP) It looks like a lot of people are getting married later these days. I think it's because people are taking their time finding the right person to marry. The divorce rate being so high...
Maybe the divorce rate is high because people are "taking their time finding the right person to marry", which is the wrong way to go about it. They didn't used to call it "taking the plunge" for nothing. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:12:22 PM | The divorce rate is so high because women are biologically attracted to men who are the centers of attention (physical attraction not being a prerequisite) and because of this are desired by other women, Mick Jaegar, for example. Them being desired by other women, in and of itself, make the man still more desirable. Then they are attracted to tall men, so those men are popular and are most likely to cheat, because the have the most opportunity. Lastly, they are attracted to strong, forward, and forceful men, the problem is that most women cannot tell that difference between forceful and violent, so these guys often end up beating on the women.
This is why I have never been married and why most people that have never been married that are over 30 are men: Because women want the men from that group and are in fact marrying and/or sleeping with the same men. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:28:39 PM | I'm 32 and never been married. I was engaged once.
I think that the phenomena has to do with female group-think culture these days more than anything. I dont have anything against women there are lots of great women out there (hopefully I find another one!); but I'm noticing in popular female culture these days female sexuality and hookup culture is being exacerbated.
In my circle of friends I've noticed in the past 24 months no less than 38 breakups/divorces amongst people I know, all initiated by women who wanted to do something/someone else. I'm one of them of course which got me to paying attention. The women in these breakups are sleeping around and engaging in non-committal relationships.
The book Eat Love Pray is popular as wildfire and I think is a symptom rather than a cause of this phenomenon.
I point to my own experience, with a girl for 9 years, got engaged at year 7.5 and things started to go downhill by year 8. She left me by year 9 and we never ended up getting married because she developed a penchant for other men during the engagement. She's been out of my life for 7 months now and openly admits to me that since she left she's slept with 12 guys. The girl hadn't slept with anyone before me so she's not always been trampy. Whatever, crap happens sometimes, but what I found the oddest was, that her family, friends, counsellor (we had been going to counselling) they were all celebrating her newfound sexual freedom and congratulating her and slapping her on the back for "doing things for her" and "making decisions on her own" and "finding herself"...
If I was to leave her under the exact reverse circumstances (ditch my fiancee of 9 yrs so I could sleep around) then I'd be called a raft of different names. Like a.sshole, jerk, good for nothing, deadbeat, loser, even by my guy friends. The difference I found quite striking. I mean after 9 years with a girl I thought I'd get a bit more support and sympathy from the women in my family and hers that a relationship that lasted nearly a decade blew up for no real concrete reason at all.. But instead they were cheering her on. And no I never cheated on her or abused her or treated her poorly. And for the record, the sex was good; I usually scored 6-12 Os...
It just seems to be the pendulum swinging the other way lately, women are celebrating the absolute worst of what men have been known to do.
Of course there are guys who just can't commit, always have been, I'm not saying guys are perfect because heck there are a lot of loser guys out there too. Just that the old paradigm of women being the ones who want to commit and get married are gone way out the window now, girls are actually playing the field more than men these days as far as I can tell. | |
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