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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/18/2007 9:18:41 PM | I agree, no worries on waiting, wait for the right match-and ignore mainstream magazine's idea of romance, it is sometimes a bit of baloney...don't you think?? | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/18/2007 10:05:17 PM | well, I'm 38, never married, never even close. I've faced constant rejection for 12 years now and not even had a date in that time.
Who knows? I can't say I've given up, but then again I'm not all that hopeful. Maybe people are getting married later. Maybe it just appears that way to the older crowd. Maybe with divorce being such a common past time, getting married is now like quitting smoking. It takes practice to get it right.
Then again, maybe my outlook that a couple should work at making a marriage work is what keeps me single. Everyone wants everything exactly right and package-picture-perfect from the get go.
Then again AGAIN, I see the jerks having the most success in the love arena. I might just have to learn how to be an a$$_0le if I want to break my single streak. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:05:23 AM | Count me in. I mean count me out. I mean no, I never wanted to be married.
Adamently agamist, or strongly opposed to marriage, was my philosophy. That sounds more high minded than not being able to hold on to a girlfriend.
Only once, in a time of weakness, did I consider marriage, and it is fortunate that I didn't do it, because it would have been a serious misalliance.
For most people, perhaps, marriage is the preferred mode of life. For me, though, living alone is better. I have lived alone for over 30 years, and that is unlikely to change.
Marriage and kids were not my ambition, and I'm glad that I stayed clear of those traps. | |
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Erikka
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Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:14:01 AM | | I definately fall into this category. I've never, ever had the feeling that many of my friends did, where marriage and children were their "goal" in life. I get dreaded the question frequently, "Why are you not married?" My answer has always been the same. Because I choose to not be. It certainly doesn't mean that I won't ever be, but it's a conscious decision. That choice, unfortunately, seems to be just bewildering to some. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:23:16 AM | | I am in this category too...came close twice but never married! Sometimes I am happy about it and others i wish I had settled...either way I think generally it gets harder the older you get as I am far more picky now! like one of the replies says, you have been in a few different relationships at our age and know what the score is...I must say though, I don't think there is anything wrong...in fact I think it is better as I would like the one I Marry (the lucky lady)! to last and not have any divorce. Think there is more chance of that now than if I had married at 22 or even 25! | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:33:31 PM | i'm 35 and never been married.
i also have no tattooos and piercings. Hrrm maybe i do havee a fear of commitment ! 
I've been in love several times, but only once have i ever met a woman i'd cosnider "the one". I was in my early 20s at the time and that relationship ended badly due to immaturity on my part and her attention being drawn elsehwere due to family issues.
I do keep hoping she's out there somewhere. In the meantime, i'm enjoying being single and seeing what life offers n a daily basis. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 3:43:10 PM | Soon to be 35 and never married. No kids either....But I still have hopes. High hopes...I've got hiiiigh hopes. I"ve got high apple pie, in the skyyyyy hopes....
So I'm in my thirties and not married. Big whoopie. I've still got time to find a woman that wants to have a long term relationship, wants to actually sleep with me and produce some off spring and share the rest of our lives together. It's been known to happen...so I've heard. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 5:02:23 PM | I´m 35 and never married . I totally agree. Nowadays You can find a lot of divorse people and I think that´s not the Idea of get married and maybe when you find the person, the chemestry and when you share long time and you know the family and the people who are around your future couple you can imagine what will be your future. Then you can deside.................... | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:05:07 PM | I'm 42 and never married. Yes, sometimes I wonder, "What happened?" but most of the time it's because I believe in myself. Up until a few years ago, it didn't bother me at all; and even now, what makes me sad is that it's highly unlikely I'll have children of my own.
My also-single 40-year-old friend says she's still single because she's strong enough to be single. I like that. I'd love to meet a man I want to spend my life with, but getting married in and of itself isn't the goal. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:30:11 PM |
My also-single 40-year-old friend says she's still single because she's strong enough to be single.
Wow I think that is one of the most wonderful statements I have ever heard. Not that I am exactly happily single and I am seeking a relationship now. I was happily single in my 20's and early 30's though.
I do get a lot of feedback from friends that envy me for being single. Most were in bad relationships and dealing with that drama. Yeah my social life might be lacking a significant other but just look at the freedom I enjoy. Plus I seem to be doing just fine tackling this tough world all by my lonesome. Not many people are capable of that.
Of coarse I do get some negative feedback from some of my happily married friends about still being single. They think something is wrong with me and that I am a social outcast. In fact some passive Mormon friends (not exactly friends by choice) think I am the devil but the heck with them. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:37:37 PM | Why do some people think something is wrong with you if you have never been married? At some point I have known in past relationships (por she knew) that We were not right for each other? Should we have gotten married just for the sake of pleassing others only to be miserable and get divorced eventually? I want to get maried once and be with the woman I love for the rest of my life so when times get tough my wife and I work through it. When I point this out to my friends thgey say that if things get tough you can move on...maybe so but I would rather make 1arriage work.
Why do people judge others? I do not judge some of my friends who in their mid 30's are on their 3rd or 4th marriage. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:54:22 PM | I'm 33, 34 this Saturday *ulp*, and have never been married. Though I have been engaged, and that was a relationship that had lasted 7 years.
I'd like to get married someday still with someone I really clicked with, and as I get on so well with kids I'd love to have at least 1 or 2 kids as well.
But again, it would have to be with someone I really clicked with...and I'm picky on who I will settle down with nowadays. I just don't feel it's fair to myself or the other person I'm with if I just settle and we are not entirely smitten with each other and want the same things out of life.
Hopefully it will happen someday, but I tend to not be actively looking for someone as I should I guess. I'm more or less liking the idea that they find me, and it just happens to be right. :) | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/20/2007 12:21:23 AM | | It's harder as you get older to find quality people to settle down with, at least where I am it seems. I'm sure it'll happen for me someday and I think I'm starting to get that "old maid" syndrome going on. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/20/2007 7:38:33 AM | I am not married, will not be married nor have any interest in someone who has "married" as their future plans.
When I look at profiles I shy away from the "divorced" and "separated" because they have demonstrated an inability to make a relationship work. I will stick with "single"; those smart enough never to get married in the first place. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:18:38 PM | I am 35 - single no dependants.
My life is joyous and open. Since being in my mid 30's I have fully embraced it. Not being married, has made me a lot wiser for the great man that I trust I will be with one day. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 1:42:16 AM | | 39 as of this posting, and never married, no kids, no houseful of cats. I think people get married later because we don't have to get married to be successful anymore, so people focus on their careers first then get more interested in marriage later. That's my general opinion, though in my case I just haven't met the right girl yet or I didn't realize I did.. but then.. maybe the right girl has to be smoother.. faster.. who knows. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 2:22:56 AM | me too!
i'm 30.5 and never engagted. 3 long term relationbships (over 3 years).
i don't see there is anything weird about me. in fact where i come from most of my friends are only just starting to get hitched or preggers.
i think it depends on where you and from and what you do. i did a double degree and uni, spent 6 years traveling and have a pretty full on career job. amongst my friends and colleagues it's typical to be single or unmarried at 40 even. i hear of lots of people getting married and having kids in their late 30's and early 40's
im not worried about it so hope you are not either!
oh yeah, and i also think the more 'experianced' (world experiance) and options you have (where you live, what you do etc) causes you to get more fussy and not want to just settle down with someone for the sake of it or because society once said that was what you do. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 8:22:54 AM | 35, never been married. Not even sure I've ever really been in love. My last relationship was when I was 22. I just went to work and decided to spend a little time maturing without picking up strange bar floozies and subjecting my future to shortened lifespan or strange diseases. Besides, in a way, it's awful nice to make 100 percent of my own decisions on things, and when you're career hopping or bettering yourself, or deciding where you want to set down roots, it gets to be hard to develop one's inner abilities and talents and sense of spirituality and self esteem.. and I've been unable to really 'connect' with someone that has the same sense of patience.. that really has found a sense of fulfillment in being one's own best company.
For the record, in that thirteen years, I've been approached by many female friends from my past, who are divorced, with kidlets and a mortgage, ravaged by divorce lawyers and child support maintenance lawyers.. who are a lot worse off than I.. and of course, are obliged to tell me now, that I am not only lucky to BE single, but were their first choice years ago. Opportunistic? Realistic? um.. Yeah.. maybe IIII-ronic ;)
I don't tend to do "second choice". Pass me up and come back "wrecked" and THEN I'm worth it? Not.. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 10:02:00 AM | | Turning 30 this November and I've never been married or engaged. I had a couple of relationships in BC year's ago, then a very short one here with a woman from Yorkton. Possibly the only time I would ever get married is if any future relationship was working out pretty damned good to say the least. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 11:45:41 AM | | glad to see i'm not the only one i'm 39 and was beginning to feel like some kind of freak but looking on here there seems like there are a lot of normal blokes haven't taken the plunge | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 12:33:20 PM | | I never had any desire to be married (or have kids for that matter). I'm 37 and over the years most of my friends have divorced and have kids. I guess I never wanted to go through that headache and I wouldn't want to be the first person in my family to get a divorce. I'm doin it one time if I do it all and even though I've been in several long term relationships lasting years, Inever felt like I was with that "one" right person. Too much volatility when I was younger. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 12:50:01 PM | Well let's see. I've been with girls too wrapped up in themselves and/or their careers to consider settling down with them. Or have been kicked to the curb because their future goals were more important than some boyfriend. I've been cheated on, lied to and used by some. And then there were the ones that just didn't work out and I've dated some real basketcases that made me back off of relationships altogether for time periods and next thing I know, I'm thirty, single (well, not anymore) and unmarried.
Which I wouldn't have even realised if my family didn't keep telling me about it. Which is probably why I answered Lots and Lots of Pressure to the woman who asked why men get married.
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 6/21/2007 1:54:08 PM |
And then there were the ones that just didn't work out and I've dated some real basketcases that made me back off of relationships altogether for time periods and next thing I know, I'm thirty, single (well, not anymore) and unmarried.
I can relate with the whole basketcase problem. My last relationship was the true defintion of the word and I backed off permanetly after a month. | |
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