| 30 and never married?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:59:19 AM | I have a friend I've known for a long time. He's in his mid 50's and never been married. Not even close I don't think. He's now resigned himself to Hermithood, because he tried dating up until his late 40's but could never quite get the hang of a relationship. He doesn't like compromise on any level. Since it's his way or the high way, he now has both to himself. He's a really bright guy, but I wouldn't want to mimic his own life. He's become so rigid and lives such an emotionally and physically insulated life, I believe he's long since past ever having the chance at really connecting deeply with anyone else on an intimate level.
I do agree that rushing into marriage is a bad idea. Rushing into anything usually is. But I do think people get themselves wrapped in an idea that is beyond mystical and horribly unrealistic to the point they eventually filter out all chances of experiencing real love with just one other person. I think as single people get older they tend to become used to not having to compromise,not having to learn how to deal with frustration and conflict in a healthy way ( outside of work ), become less inclined to accept or understand anyone else's habits except their own, and just this whole mindset continues becoming more embedded over time. Then one day they wake up and go,"Uh oh..." and either panic and date everything under the sun or turn further inward and protective of their own individuality.
Everyone has to pick their own path and everything that means, but I think there's an opposite end of and equally negative affect of 'rushing in' to marriage. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:34:43 AM | Narly 33 here ande never married no kids. I know it seems harder (for me anyways) to find someone that hasn't a) been married or b) not have kids.
I find as I get older my "dating pool" is getting smaller due to these things and the fct I do not want kids myself. IF that makes sense | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:33:04 PM | | Why is it always the man's fault if theres a divorce??????????, women arent angels either. They make a bad choice no different than men. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 11:21:47 PM | | Me 2 have been engadged before but never married no children... would like to be. Why is Mr Right so hard to find | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:49:26 PM | | There are some women who just arent able to accept a partner unless they fit the ideal they have of what a man should be.That ideal is of a man whos trouble free and problem free.Also he would meet all their needs and desires.A partner is going to be imperfect and no doubt have problems.You must realize the man your looking for may not exist.Id say the main ingredient in finding a marriage with a man is to find a man who you have feelings for and he for you.Work on the problems each of you have and build a relationship and hopefully one day wedding bells will ring for you.But maybe your not one to face problems a man has and a mans never measuring up to what you want.Id say follow your heart in what ever happens.If you keep looking for the perfect man whos trouble free and no problems to deal with your going to have to accept that maybe marriage is not in the cards for you. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:58:17 PM | I will soon be 30 and I have no children and I have never been married. I once thought I had found the one but it did not work out for various reasons. A couple times I came close only to realize they were not the one.
I think society does think something is wrong with you if you have never been married and do not have kids when you are 30. As I said, I am almost 30 and hearing a lot about this now. Just leave me alone, maybe I will get married one day and maybe I will not. It is a personal decision and should not reflect that there is something wrong with the person.
Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn have been together forever and are doing just fine and they have not married each other. So there.
~Carrie | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:18:13 PM | | Well I fall into this as well. I was engaged when I was in my early 20's but was a disaster. and now I'm taking my time. I would like to get married someday, but like all good things they just take time.. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:28:30 PM | Its better than being married and unhappy. I think a lot of people are
in horrible marriages, that is why the number of people having affairs
is like 60%+. There is no reason to get married unless you are very sure. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 10:15:35 PM | Lol I am almost there... I consider myself lucky not to be married yet or with the pushy ex that kept insisting on marriage... lol...
When things don't happen or fall apart, know that something bigger is about to happen that will fall together for the better... | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 3:02:57 AM | I am in my mid thirties and never married (came close twice), no kids (first ex-fiance aborted behind my back, hence the ex). Just glad I am not amongst so many of my bitter divorced friends and still waitting for the one who can handle my crazy ass and has old school views on the sanctity of marriage. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 10:27:37 AM | Posting the "Over 30" forum, I'm in this boat, too!
I read someone's profile and it stated words to the effect that searching for perfection is futile but seeking the best of an imperfect person is where it's at. I would say that is pretty well the definition of love. To care for someone SO much that the perfect body or perfect job or what have you does not matter.
I have to thank that person because it put in perspective the road blocks we sometimes put in front of ourselves. Maybe that's why we made it to 30 without a marriage. I agree it's better this way than rushing into anything, but the thought was intriguing. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 10:35:19 AM | | 39 in Oct and no rings and no strings! Spent 11 years with someone who I thought was the right one only to find out I was wrong ! I'm still looking so if anyone should see my Ms.Right please send her my way! | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 10:45:20 AM | | More like hit and miss,I waited till I was Thirty one look where it got me--Iam posting yes | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 8:42:15 PM | | im new here but i fit the 30 and never married bit bout to be 31 never married never dated either maybe its its to late for me lol greed power and lust are the main drives unfortunatly i havnt refined these drives enough to be usefull maybe somebody will show me the way | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:25:51 PM | Will there ever be "The Right One?"
34 and never been married & Zero kids. I'm the last in the family that's single. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 7:22:06 PM | | I'm 31, never been married, never been engaged and to be honest, not bothered by all this. Why? Because I haven't found the right girl yet. When I find one, I'll know. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 8:04:32 PM | | I'm one of the last of my friends that has never been married or engaged. I haven't found the right one. I haven't ever dated anyone with kids, but then I don't think I'm opposed to it either. Could be the benefit of living in a majority college town?!?! I sometimes think my problem is that I live in a college town LOL. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:18:37 PM | Yes I am 40 and never been married...engaged a few times..but I am a bit picky I don't know if I will ever get married...if the right person and situation comes along than yes...but I only want to get married once...really so either never or once. :)
Sometimes its embarressing but sometimes I am proud to not be in the divorced catagory actually. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:26:48 PM | The right guy never asked me. LOL On the serious side...what was I supposed to do marry the wrong person just so I could say I had been married at least once...  get real I'll continue along nicely single and happy instead of married and miserable with the wrong person.  | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:48:56 PM | I was never married myself. I see more divorces than marriages so what are people doing? My sister is going to wed this October and the two of them fight like they been married for years. People marry for the wrong reason especially women who got that clock problem. I feel its a expense to marry and expense to divorce and the state is laughing all the way to the bank.
As we grow older we want to be with someone the traditional reason to marriage is present and understandable. I talk to so many who are unpleased with their choice to marry. Besides with the games people play I think it is foolish to marry because commitment is something that our grandparents only knew. Everybody wants to cheat gowith the same or different sex because it is taught by media its okay. Not something worth the expense of marriage. Also when kids are involved then they get hurt and you as the single type have to put up with kids you didn't make because you aren't their mommy or daddy. Oh please don't let me forget the so called significant other who made them always in your life jealous of the person you are with because they idiots.They cant get anyone,because they are idiots ,which the reason the person got rid of them in the first place. One thing is for sure marriage is hard for EVERYBODY INVOLVED INCLUDING THE SINGLE GUYS AND GIRLS IN THEIR 30S. With more baggage than a airport I think this marriage thing is highly overrated and nothing wrong with being free until you realize that person without a doubt is the one, then and I support the marriage of two good people.
And like Dennis Miller says "Hey, that my opinion I could be wrong!" | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/9/2008 5:15:19 AM | I was born alone in this world and Im pretty sure Im going to be dieing alone to, theres nothing wrong with not bieng marryed. Im not ready just yet to have someone tell me what, where and who in my life just yet, when the time comes and Im desperate if theres nobody around who'll take me then Ill go back to my country and marry some young hot chick and bring her back here like the smart ones do. Im 33 now and thinking most likely Ill probably stay single for about another 5 years, you know screw around a bit suck up the freedom before making that kind of commitment that will last the REST OF MY LIFE!!! sounds like prison LOL | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/9/2008 5:48:40 PM | | You're absolutely right, I take a look at those divorce stats and shudder. Its all a matter of knowing if it's the right time for you or not. But the question is... how do you know?? I'm 30 and have never been married, or engaged for that matter... my longest relationship was 6 months. Most of the people I know who are my age are already married/have children with their SO, save for a very select few, however, I see alot of them having problems. After seeing alot of that sort of thing, I think deep down that I'm making the right choices when it comes down to it. I never wanted to rush into a marriage only to have it come crashing to the ground after a few short years. ...That was always a big fear of mine. | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/10/2008 3:39:16 PM | Can't see the point of these people who get married at 21... & then divorced by 30 !!
Totally & utterly pointless if you ask me... | |
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| 30 and never married?
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:04:47 PM | | I am disabled. Why would I have been married? Everybody knows that disabled women are only good enough for the occasional booty call. If you're that desperate. | |
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