| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:24:26 PM | | I find that since I'm more the cerebral type, basically any woman I'd spend longer than five minutes talking too is likely smart, funny or otherwise extremely sexy to me. So...I guess for me...sex becomes a natural extension of real friendship(which is rare and worth cherishing) with the opposite sex...quite natural when you think about it! | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:32:22 PM | I would like to submit the following for your consideration, hopefully before arriving at “the point of no return”:
Considering that nothing is foolproof, if a pregnancy were to result, would you:
A) Consider it feasible to form a more permanent, committed relationship with the “sex partner” to raise your child together;
B) Expect the mother (usually) to raise your child alone;
C) Expect her to give up your child for adoption; or
D) Expect her to abort your child.
I think many people believe there is such thing as a free lunch. | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 3:02:53 PM | Op This is POF where even the most introverted individual can create a "persona" that they show to the world. I personally believe that there are quite a few people on this site that are not very well adjusted and this has become their place to be in the real world.
Yup there are many people that come on here and proclaim their sexual interests and how much they like sex. Its one of those things that some people seem to think makes them look cool or are just looking for attention to fit their persona, because there is no real value in stating what is pretty much the obvious, most humans like ot have sex its as ridiculous as coming into a thread and stating that you like to breathe or eat like you are sharing a pearl of wisdom the world has been holding its breath to hear!
I believe that CaughtU made the most valid point about sex being undervalued. If you dont value your sexuality and use it as a commodity then it will become what value you give it. | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:24:49 PM |
i love sex but also like it more in aloving relationship but then again who dosent
Perhaps it's the whole reason behind the "who doesn't" feeling that is the point. Perhaps you like it more in a "loving relationship" for the same reason that you believe most everyone else would. Because that's what seems logical; that's what seems normal; that's what we're socially programmed to believe.
I think the American culture of "do whatever you want to, screw everyone else" is revolting.
Nothing could be further from the truth. America IS revolting against it's puritanical culture, but it still has a puritanical culture. It has been revolting since the 1920's, and really before that, but not as publically. America does not have the mentallity you speak of. American culture promotes monogamous relationships (meaning you have one partner your whole life... NOT meaning serial monogamy where you get a new one after the "love of your life" goes away.) America is with only 22% of the Earth's cultures on this idea, but it's certainly the opposite of "screw everyone else." To the more direct point being made in your statement, I agree with you, but for the opposite reason that you probably would like. People should do whatever they want to, as long as they live in harmony with everyone else. Once you start hurting other people, your actions have to come in question by soceity. However, if you have some idea on how people should act, live, or screw; than you need to have that idea. The minute you start to try to run somebody else's life by your idea, is the minute you start being the aggressor and saying "screw everyone else". Your "traditional" ideas are disrespecting the rights of others. The fact that they are traditional makes absolutely no difference. Read Shirley Jackson's The Lottery. It's only a couple of pages, so you can do it, even if you don't have much time. | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:33:05 PM | | sex can be special - when it's with someone special and for the right reasons. I try not to judge others if they have a different moral set than mine and choose to have casual meaningless sex. If the person can have casual sex, more power to them, but it's not for me: I'd rather be celibate than get involved in that type of behaviour. | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:35:31 PM | a) I agree about the puritan roots/past and to some extent present of America. As well as re pluralism.
b)
there are quite a few people on this site that are not very well adjusted and this has become their place to be in the real world
IMO, in these "globalization" times there are mainly two types of people.
1. People who KNOW that they are not that well "adjusted' to the zanny dynamics of the times (in the US, Canada, Europe, elsewhere)
2. People who THINK that they are "adjusted" but are not (again in the US, Canada, Europe, elsewhere).
2 Eurocents | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:48:34 PM | A few things...
So...I guess for me...sex becomes a natural extension of real friendship(which is rare and worth cherishing) with the opposite sex...quite natural when you think about it!
I agree totally with this statement.....I have sexual relationships with several guys who are friends. No, we are not dating and we are not in love...but we are comfortable together and it does not affect our friendship negatively at all.
As for 'accidental' pregnancies, that is a risk that everyone takes when they have sex. (Well, almost anyone...since I had to have a hysterectomy I don't much have to worry about that one any more !!) It has been that way since the dawn of time...but today, in 2007, it's a pretty lame reason to stop having sex. There are more birth control options out there than ever before...more reliable, more effective options. More than one method can be used to increase the very small chance of pregancy...most female contraceptives are 99% effective. Add a condom and the chance of a pregnancy is almost nil.
Posters are acting as is those who partake in sex outside of marriage or a serious relationship are stupid and irresponsible....NOT TRUE.
Now for the number one pet peeve when it comes to the topic of sex....women stating that sex is a commodity. Excuse me??????????
A commodity is something that can be traded for goods or services. Something that can be used to your advantage, benefit or profit.
Are you serious?? Do you really believe that it shows high moral standards to use or withold sex to gain an advantage?
Sorry, this p!sses me off big time...women who see their bodies as some sort of special prize to be used to gain the upper hand.
My body is not a prize for anyone. It belongs to me. Sex brings pleasure...it feels good...it was designed to be that way. it is meant to be shared between two consenting adults.
Now, if two consenting adults want to enjoy each other...outside of a committed relationship...who are you to say that is wrong or immoral??????? | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:51:06 AM | Msg 54:
>>People should do whatever they want to, as long as they live in harmony with everyone else. Once you start hurting other people, your actions have to come in question by soceity. <<
In truth, this varies only very slightly from what I believe as a Christian, and the manner of life that Jesus came here to try to show us.
Jesus instructed his people to do the following:
1. Love God.
2. Love your neighbor (everyone!).
3. Love your enemies.
Since Love is selfless, and seeks not its own, but rather the best for the wellbeing of the recipient of the Love, it stands to reason that if one behaves in a loving manner towards all people at all times, then you are by default harming no one, but instead, spreading harmony and peace to others.
The price of this type of mentality and behavior is to set aside your own will and your own desires long enough to consider the needs and desires of others before yourself.
Now, continuing this train of thought, if a person engages in hanky panky before marriage (and don't think I'm pointing the finger elsewhere, without three fingers pointing back at myself), what considerations have been made regarding the feelings and well being of others, and the consequences (good and/or bad) that result from said actions?
1. Love God. (If you believe the Bible, which you are of course free to reject. Skip this point if you reject it). What does God think of intimate relations outside of marriage? It's one of the big no-no's of the Ten Commandments, so I'd have to say he frowns upon it.
2. Love your neighbor. (Yeah, yeah - I said love your neighbor, not LOVE your neighbor!) What is in the best interest of the person you're contemplating this action with? A commitment-less relationship where they will probably experience pain and hurt once it ends, deeper so for the intimacy you shared? A baby? An STD? Hurt feelings?
3. Love your enemies. Let's not go for revenge encounters, eh? :)
Again - this is strictly from the perspective of a person who believes in the Bible, and has messed up and fallen short of what she SHOULD have been doing (pretty much just like everyone else). This is my viewpoint, and why I have chosen what I have chosen.
Everyone else is free to do whatever they would like. God gave us all free will and freedom of choice.
Wendy | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:18:09 AM | msg. 54:
1. I totally missed the Commandment against pre-marital sex. Which one is this? Adultery is not the same thing, if that's what you're thinking.
2. Are you purporting that your definitions of "Love" and "LOVE" are universal? I don't think so.
3. Not really enough comments on this for me to respond. Do you think we should not make love to our enemies? | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:31:45 AM | | Yes, there is much more to life than sex, but I certainly don't consider sex overrated. *chuckle* I would probably agree that sex is better when it is special (say, with someone you really care about), but I would not agree that it should be special. Now, I have never been one to attempt to rack up pure numbers, but I (for the most part) greatly enjoyed the sex I had with people that I didn't love, and (for the most part) they did too. Where is the problem? | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:41:39 AM | madamoisele-
Commitment-less relationships are about honesty and maturity. No one should be getting hurt because both parties know exactly what they are involving themselves in.
Stop being afraid of sex because you listen to 'focus on the family' demonize it with STIs/STDs and the chance of pregnancy. Sex is not evil. The Christian ideology of sexual repression is what scares me. | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:46:44 AM | No, sex is not evil. We were designed to enjoy such things. Because I choose to abstain from it outside of a marriage bed does not mean I fear it.
I am not dissuading you from your choice, or belittling you for it. Everyone is free to choose for themselves.
Including me.
Wendy | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:36:55 PM | | I don't think sex is overrated, but I do think there's a lot more talk than action out there. People like to think they are having more excitement than they really are. | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:42:40 PM | I did say it was overrated, and I was wrong in choosing those words.
What I meant to say is:
I believe the way it is talked, viewed, and read about all over the goddamn place is what takes makes it ANNOYINGLy boring!
Sex is more than sticking your****in a hole (or vice versa).
There are so many more sense to the human structure you'd be amazed at what a little study and abstinence can do for you.
Just like EVERYTHINg else under the sun, too much sweet will turn sour and bitter.
Who would ever want to reach a place when SEX becomes boring, lifeless, and dull?
not me.... | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:41:53 PM | Power is overrated, fame is overrated, having lots of moeny is overrated, chocolate is overrated, wines and other culinary pleasures may be overrated, having a glam car uis overrated, stocks in China may or may not be overrated, but SEX - MAKING LOVE could never been overrated. How could it be overrated, it is priceless, so if anything it is underrated!  | |
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| why are most people so free with sex?
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:18:33 PM |
I believe the way it is talked, viewed, and read about all over the goddamn place is what takes makes it ANNOYINGLy boring!
Sex is more than sticking your****in a hole (or vice versa).
Overrated or ANNOYINGLy boring is two things I would not say about sex WHEN you doing it with the right person...
BUT
I don't think thats really what your trying to get across. I think your point is more like
"Why have we become so desensitized to Sex" "Where has the Emotion gone" "Why doesn't it mean more" The reason to that is simple though, the world is not the place it used to be. Things are now traveling at the speed of light and where it used to be normal to work all day come home and give your ole woman a bone and go to sleep, people want more. They want bigger faster better in damn neer every aspect of life. Females are slowlly becoming accepted with have a libedo as active if not more active then men and not being burned at the cross because of it.
All this doesn't men sex can not be meaningful and loving and caring and wholesome. I can get in the bedroom and have the most amazing passionate, heart warming, emotional, sheading a damn tear sex with my wife and the next night break out the "Toy Box" and do stuff normally only seen in porn... | |
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