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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/8/2007 11:44:20 AM |
you COMPLETELY misrepresented what I did say Must be that venus and mars thing, 'cause I don't see it any other way. Don't explain it. It's not important. | |
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Kixxie
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Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 100 | |
| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/8/2007 2:18:33 PM | At the age of 42, being a single mom, having a decent job and starting over 5 years ago after a divorce......from scratch...no table & chairs, no beds, no nothing, plus paying off back bills, paying off a new van cuz my old one felt the need to lay down & die plus dealing with circumstances in life that just "happen" and raising 3 children on my own (only 2 left at home..it's not that scary LOL) I dont think I'm doing that bad. I dont have the fanciest stuff in the world, but what I have, I own. (Except for the van). And, I'm getting my back bills paid off, slowly but surely. I had over $50,000. in medical bills last year alone after having my gallbladder out in January and having 2 heart attacks in one night in December. I dont live in a fancy house, I live in a ghetto townhouse in a not so nice neighborhood. BUT, I make plenty of money to pay my bills every month, my children and I eat only name brand foods or food made from scratch, we have a roof over our heads, utilities, cable & internet and still manage to do ok. After my back bills and my van are paid off, I'll have alot more money to live in a nicer home. Until then, life is STILL good. If a man is going to judge me because of how "nice" my stuff is, then he would need to pass me by and find someone who's stereo is the right brand (oops....I dont own a stereo) or who wears the designer clothes. My children and I live right and are rich in our OWN eyes. We're not poor and I dont know that we're even "comfortable" (I dont have that hot-tub yet)  However, I do have decent morals, I'm fun to be around and I'm a hell of a cook! So if I get passed up for someone who's got it all when it comes to material items, then I'm still rich because I dont have to deal with someone with the personality of a sticky note and the iq of a raisin.  | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 7:23:14 AM | Possessions have to matter to a certain extent. People who say they don't are in the same category as ppl who say looks don't matter. (trying to convince themselves!) I've dumped two men because they were of a lower economic status than I was, in a sense.
One had only two pairs of jeans and a few tee-shirts. At the time, I was going out a lot and needed a man who could dress appropriately. He was living with friends. Another had about the same, and was living with his daughter. Both had old, trashy looking cars, that I did not care to be seen in. Both were very attractive, which is what got me in the first place.
I don't think the OP is referring to women like the ones who have posted, about falling on hard times and bringing themselves back up. I date men who can keep up with me socially, financially, and since I choose not to drive, I expect them to have a decent car. If it's a hardship for them to own at least a couple decent outfits (and I do love a man in jeans, however, sometimes they may not be appropriate) then they're not the man for me. If they cannot afford to live alone, or if they keep a filthy house or car, I will also pass them on by. If one wants to pass me on by, because I choose not to have a car, I would understand that, too. We all have our little foibles.  | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 7:26:56 AM | Extremes matter to most people. Too much, or too little money -- often leads to perconceived judgments.
Society says, money matters. I say -- relationships matter. You won't be asking for money immediately after having your first child, or at your bedside at death, or sitting in the pews of your wedding.
However, common sense matters too. Judge the individual based on what you value and desire, -- make your decision, and be grateful if your fortunate to reap reward as a result of that decision. | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 8:14:37 AM | | Milk crates tied together with rope as furniture. Thanks for the decorating tip. I just moved and all I have is a bed and four chairs. Every year when I migrate like geese to follow better weather, I get rid of everything and start over at the new place. I don't like owning things. If I had a home someplace I would probably fill it up with things, and then have to move again to escape them all. To me the most dreary aspect of most people is their relationship with their material wealth, or poverty, as the case may be. I am more of a free spirit type, creative, nomadic, spiritual. This worldly world of money and possessions is boring to me. Some toys are fun to use, but the rest is junk. When I meet someone who has few or no possessions I see a free person. When I meet someone who is entombed in their mansion surrounded by objects of value, I see a slave. In the home with the milk crate furniture I would relax. The leather living room set that costs more than a new car, I'd rather stand so I don't risk scuffing it. You can always tell when you are with a real doorknob when they keep a watchful eye on whether your basic existence threatens the condition of some possession. Your shoes on their carpet. The sleeve of your coat on the arm of their chair. Your ideas on their elevated self-importance. Bring back the hippies, I say. | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 8:51:31 AM | Don't ya love it when people start conversations with something and then pause a few seconds and say But?
Like this post...
I'm not prejudice, (then look around to see who might hear them) but...
I'm not one to judge someone, but...
just my 2 cents... | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 10:38:20 AM |
Don't ya love it when people start conversations with something and then pause a few seconds and say But?
Like this post...
I'm not prejudice, (then look around to see who might hear them) but...
I'm not one to judge someone, but...
The word 'but' completely negates the statement being made. Someone once told me the only thing 'buts' are for is sitting on. | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 11:42:12 AM | | "wow" comes to mind..you judge? k>my question is why would a 55 year old "rent" instead of own! It wouldn't have come to mind first off if you wouldn't have chosen to ask about material things in the first place. you live pay check to pay check, choose to sit on the couch all night with your big tv, and eat your face off, and wonder why "women" don't own a car (i own my car, that doesn't make my car "me") ok..and get this you fix up your "landlord's" place for him..while he runs smiling to the bank and you think a girl might want your pay check!!! oh ya and by the way you write in your profile "my OWN" place... As plenty of people have said on here..it isn't what you have it is "who you are". I find it quite amusing that you of all profiles chose to write this message. both men and women go through hardships in their life..it is what we do with the hardships that count! | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 12:13:20 PM | LOVEEEEEEE your attitude tiggertiger...
ROTFLMAO....
ppl like you make the forums worth enjoying...just had to say hey and
WHY DON"T God make guy's my age with your sence of humor ( looks wouldn't hurt either lol)..
and I did like your profile also (and your body to) but at my age ....there are not
many that like to enjoy life and want a woman that is comfortable with life & down to earth (so to speak) country gal..
Have a great life sugar and the lady that finally captures your heart
should be patted on the back haha! 
Thanks 4 giving me a smile today!
 Jude | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 12:21:01 PM | GO GIRL.....Kixxie
Sounds like you have done a great job...
A lot of us gals have been there so I really can understand what you
are saying. I rasied my daughter without the help of her dad, so I know
it can be done when one is determined.
Keep that attitude and I am sure that one day u will have your house and hot tub and
extra's.
Godspeed,
Jude   | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:05:35 PM |
Have you noticed that it's usually the people who don't have anything that say material things don't matter?
perhaps it's by having nothing that they have learned the true (non-monetary) value of most material things... nothing. if those who have nothing are really satisfied with it, using my own twisted logic, i would think they'd be the least likely to want someone else's stuff. it also seems then, that people who place more value on a person's possessions than they do on the person themselves would be more likely to be after someone else's possessions than someone who sees no real value in material accumulations. in many cases, the more one has, the more one wants. but in no case can any person take it with them when they die.
i came into this world with nothing, i will leave with nothing. what i owned between birth and death means very little in the grand scheme of things. it's the lives we touch and the love we share that really matter. jmo, of course. | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:14:33 PM | | I never learnt how to drive so don't own a car and I rent my home due to ex going bankrupt. Oh dear I don't have a lot going for me do I?? | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:35:17 PM |
Have you noticed that it's usually the people who don't have anything that say material things don't matter?
What you are trying to say is that they don't have a choice. Right?
That is where you would be wrong. Some people put priorities on material things and some don't. It is really that simple. | |
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| I know possessions don't matter, but....
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:18:21 PM | It's a very different situation when people don;t have a lot of material possessions because they choose not to spend money on them, and those who don't have money to buy things and don't care to earn it.
Did anybody read the key line of the original post?
Do you immediately suspect that they want you for what YOU have?
That is what the post was about. If men suspect that women who have little or nothing want them as a back account or not.
No judging on why people don't have things. You all added that. My example was one person with absolutely no desire to get out of the squalor she lived in, but was constantly posting on singles sites looking for a man to take her away from all of that.
The responders have added that "how dare I judge" stuff. I just said that someone in that position would arouse my suspicion and I would likely not be interested, but that is as much because of the difference in attitude about living in filth.
As far as my not owning and choosing to rent, I prefer not to live with a huge mortgage hanging over my head. I send a check on the 1st of the month to somebody, whether it's the bank or a landlord. Let them pay property tax and insurance. And I do improvements because rented or not, this is where I live, will likely live until I die, and I want it to be how I want it to be. The landlord is obliged to give me heat, plumbing that works and running water. Nothing else. (And they don't give me anything else.) When I got sick of the 1960's Harvest Gold kitchen, I spent some money and put in a new kitchen. I like how it looks now. New countertop, embossed metal backsplash, white porcelain cast iron sink, new faucet, new garbage disposal. They are not required to care that the kitchen was 40 years out of date. Everything worked so their minimum requirement was met. Complete with the nasty stainless steel sink. Now I am enclosing and screening the deck and making it a patio. Why? Because the mosquitoes here have been seen carrying small children off! I want to sit outside in the summer and I couldn't do that without a screened in patio. I also want to be able to leave my dog locked on that screen in patio when I go to work. You don't seriously think any landlord on earth would pay for THAT upgrade? But I want what I want, and in 2 more weeks I will have it. And I am making extra computer repair house calls to pay for it.
Long and short of it, I work for what I want to have. And if a woman doesn't, or is not even willing to, do the same we won't connect on the "ambition" scale.
That's all this post was about until the self righteous among you turned it into a moral issue.
Post away. I won't even be back to read anymore of it. | |
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