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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/21/2007 5:19:35 PM | | ripley65..Sorry,Thats what you get for giving out your personal Info,on the Internet..You better "Block" "em..Get to meet the person FIRST!!,Go from there.. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 12:22:35 AM |
FishKeeperCop- I would appreciate some information on how to proceed when you do have a gut feeling someone is full of it-
I have approached the police here and they say they can't give out information and steered me to a few of the online websites-I used
a few of them, but later discovered their information is innaccurate or old or partial-
as a former victim of identity theft, dealing with a great deal of 'cretive ' types- I have learned to check someone out who
I have doubts of- but where is the question. I even have a detective friend who ran things on men I knew had records-
nothing came up- what do you suggest?
thanks
Blanche, I tried emailing you, but your mail settings don't allow me to. So send me a message. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 11:39:19 AM | The paranoia here is truly amazing.
Who do you think does NOT show up in court records? I bet I can find YOU in court records. I show up for the bankruptcy of my house builder because of HIS liens on MY house. I show up a traffic ticket in 1991. And now I show up for my wife's perjurious *allegations* during our divorce, with not even a crime or charge against me.
Jesus, what is WRONG with y'all? ^^^^ as quoted by broward
Well broward,,,you are absolutely correct. You can find multitudes of people in the court record searches and guess what? I am in there as well but shhhhhh guess what for? A headlight out! Oh and shhhhhh,,,,dont tell anyone about my speeding ticket either!! Bigggg deal!! lol But,,one thing i DO find a big deal,,is a person who was arrested and convicted not once but 4 times on a 'serious' crime where 2 of the charges were a 2nd and a 3rd degree. Hmmmm,,paranoia? More like,,trusting my instincts and then being very lucky enough to having access to be able to confirm my suspicions. Better to be safe than to be another 'statistic'.
Have a wonderful day. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 8:47:43 PM | Given I was raised around characters of this nature, i suggest that you move on
there is the sociopathic traits that comes with personalities of this type...
I don't think you should stay in any contact with him..and do NOT tell him that you did a back ground check...I am a reformed bad boy and I am warning you, that these type of guys can be 'ruthless' in their quest for self satisfaction...BECAREFUL and listen to me..I have seen jail and labour camps, I know what I am talking about...
So MOVE ON....Your dancing with something dangerous in your life and out of your elements... | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 9:17:20 PM | Is it that simple to run a name through public records? I know there ARE web sites that charge a small fortune? Can you direct me on how to procede?
 Chelle | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 9:20:25 PM | OP not for nothing, but if you feel so suspicious about someone that you would bother to do a background check on them, why bother pursuing the relationship to begin with? Who in their right mind would pursue something with someone that clearly made them that uncomfortable from the get go? Secondly if you are incapable of openly and honestly discussing what you did, with the person in question, then who in their right mind would want to be with you? Life has enough Drama in it without the need for a potential dating candidate to stir up even more.
I wouldn't presume to speak for other men, but as for me, I could care less what you do in your free time, but if what you are doing somehow even remotely involves me, and you have the gumption to do something like a background check on me, but not the gumption to talk to me about it, I have no use for someone like you in my life. Even if this guy is less than "desirable" he is probably all the better off without someone like that in his life.
It's one thing to be safe (something I don't think enough women take into consideration), it's quite another to be a judgmental coward so paranoid that you are incapable of handling yourself like a mature adult who treats others with the same modicum of respect you would wish in return. You might want to chew on that particular cud for a while. Good luck with that.
Have fun ;)!
PS: Nothing but a few tickets in my past, so this isn't a personal issue, I just have low tolerance for irresponsible cowards. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 11:41:28 PM | Insurgent,,,thank you tons for your input. :) There hasnt been any contact whatsoever for a couple weeks now. The last email i had replied to was 'said' in a way that conveyed no romantic interests on my part so im thinking he 'got it'. Thanks also for your being honest about your past,,and your advice. 
Nawty,,,it's over now. lol I have since moved on and i believe he has to. lol | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/22/2007 11:54:38 PM | Chelles,,,yup its that simple to run a name thru public records. I dont know where you live but where i live,,,i just type in the name of my county with a dot org at the end and voila! Just read the menu and choose whatever option you are looking for. I had always wondered myself how these women (and men) on here have done that for free. I was lucky that a gf of mine emailed me and said her son had found the site for our area and she sent the info. lol Good luck!
Thorn,,,, We started out emailing back and forth (i think ive already explained this in a previous post?) and those emails were great. Fun, lighthearted. Nothing to indicate any red flags whatsoever. Then,,we did the phone thing. That was when my gut told me something was off. It wasnt even what he said,,it was the way he said it and the words he chose. I dont know how to explain it except i remember thinking to myself at the time on the phone that i felt uneasy. Well my gut feeling was correct. What id found i was shocked.
Anayway, its over its done and we've both moved on.
Thanks everyone for your input and advice! Big big
 rip | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 9:02:40 AM | If you are going to do background checks you have to handle each one with an open mind.
Yes if there is dangerous activity in his or her past you should probably run. Your safety should always come first.
There are some out there though that were stupid at one time and learned from it. I am 36 now but if you run a check on me you will find that around 18 - 19 I was basically a moron. I didnt commit any violent acts against another living thing. I did some stupid petty larceny, did my time, and never went back. That was 16 years ago and I still pay for that today when I hear some people say once a criminal always a criminal. Just keep in mind that if anyone has ever received a speeding ticket then they are also a criminal. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 9:50:25 AM | Let me just state a fact and you can interpret it however you want. By and large the majority of people arrested for violent crimes are male. Also those convicted, in prison, largely a male population. This is something that more likely would be of concern to a female, for obvious reasons.
There are various types of searches that can be done, from criminal convictions (felonies) to bankruptcies, bounced checks, etc.
It just makes common sense that any individual should do whatever they feel is necessary to make them feel comfortable or safe in meeting someone who's virtually a stranger. There's nothing wrong with having a concern for your safety, in fact it'd be foolish not to. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:16:32 AM | | Hi bscrug,,,,Thanks also for your honesty. Yanno,,,sometimes when we are young and impressionable we do foolish things. lol Especially in our teens. Maybe we got with the wrong crowd of kids or really it could be any number of reasons we chose to do what we did. In my particular situation with the check id done, these were offenses that occured in the recent past which would put this man in his late 30's when he committed them. Not quite the foolish kid anymore. Im sorry you are still getting the backlash from something you did as a kid. Sounds like you are trying to put that all behind you. Good luck to you bescrug,,,and thank you again. :) | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:20:31 AM | Bucs,,,thank you so much for your understanding. I do know some of these men arent too happy with some of us women out there doing these checks but you hit the nail right on the head.  | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:27:01 AM | Well riley the talk of paranoia and all...sheesh. A little over the top, if you don't have anything "worrysome" why would you be concerned? It's almost an insult to the intelligence of women to think that we'd get freaked out over a speeding ticket.
They may feel differently if it were their sister or mother who was meeting a stranger, then their concerns for their safety may take a totally different perspective.  | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:44:55 AM | | i personally find it typical that some chick took this particular stance aginst the situation. me, i was arrested when i was 24 for recieving stolen property. i bought a motorcycle that later turned out to be hot, and i did 3 months for my stupidity. so fukin what? you can buy things at any flea market or pawn shop every day and not have a clue if it is legit or not. if there are 100 men here, chances are 65-75 of them have had some kind of brush with the law. doesnt make them killers, hard core criminals or anything else. but honestly, if a woman cant find at least one thing wrong, they are not happy. they come here to search for that "love of my life" then they do everything they can to make sure they dont find it. what a life........ | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 12:22:51 PM | | Hmmm....I wonder if there is a service that does a credit check on people without their signatures. Would be good to know if a woman is a gold digger before hand.... | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 12:49:07 PM |
They may feel differently if it were their sister or mother who was meeting a stranger, then their concerns for their safety may take a totally different perspective.
Sorry Bucs, but I am gonna call shenanigans on the logic behind this statement, because I have both a Sister and a Mother and were either in the same position I would say the exact same thing. There is "Safe" and there is "irresponsible paranoia". Safe is arranging to meet someone for the first time in a well lit public place, asking for some ID, and then continuing such behavior untill you have cause to believe otherwise, or feel comfortable enough to do otherwise. Irresponsible paranoia is exactly what the OP has done. The bottom line is, if before you even meet someone your gut is telling you something isn't right, the common sense thing to do is either walk away or ask the bloody question. I mean why bother pursuing something that doesn't feel right, unless you need drama to spice up an otherwise dull life? It simply doesn't make sense to not walk away the moment you feel funny about something.
I mean seriously do you run a background check on the cable guy before you let him into your house? What about the guy who fixes your hot water heater, the one who cuts your grass, cleans your carpeting? Because just as most criminals are males (leastwise convicted ones), most violent incidents take place in the home. What about when you break down on the side of the road in the middle of the night, and call for a tow truck, do you whip out your laptop and do a background check then too? Are you getting the point yet?
There is a large margin between caution and stupidity, and the difference between common sense and paranoia is likewise just as clearly defined. I daresay from the sounds of it, the OP would do better to spend her time developing some common sense rather than wasting time and money on background checks for people she probably shouldn't be pursuing in the first place. I mean how much more clear does something have to be before its universally understood? It is called "common sense" for good reason right?
Have fun ;)! | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 1:36:31 PM | "Irresponsible paranoia is exactly what the OP has done." That's your opinion. As to the OP, if what she found raised a question, then it's up to her to decide what's best for her, which is what she did.
The fact that is there is a lot of information on anyone that's attainable. Public records are just that, as far as what someone does to decide whether or not to meet someone, that's their individual choice.
Paranoia and concern for someone's welfare and personal safety are two entirely different things.
And what I would or wouldn't do isn't the topic, much less doing a background check on who mows my lawn or fixes my plumbing ...
If you choose to criticize the OP's actions, that's up to you. Call it what you will, I wouldn't find it out of line for someone to check out someone else they were considering dating, male or female. If you have to protest it would seem more likely there would be something you wouldn't want to be found. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 1:45:45 PM |
If you have to protest it would seem more likely there would be something you wouldn't want to be found
To which I would simply say, if you feel you have to dig for dirt, then you probably shoulldn't consider dating them in the first place. Not for nothing Bucs, but you are far more likely to be attacked by someone coming in the privacy of your home than you are by someone on a date (leastwise assuming you aren't retarded in how you go about dating to begin with). There are more than ample statistics availalbe to abundantly prove that point.
Have fun ;)!
PS: You should also note that the truly dangerous criminal types don't have a public record, because they don't get caught in the first place. So chew on that a bit. "When in doubt, don't go out". Real simple common sense solution to the whole schmeggie. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 1:56:27 PM | "dig for dirt" If that's what you want to call it, others would call it something else. You take the negative slant on it, ehh..your perogative.
As far as what it reveals and how you handle it, as I said before it's an individual choice.
If you have something you don't want someone else to find out about, then it would seem those are the ones to have something to object to and are the most vocal about calling paranoia on something as simple as a dang background check. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 2:37:28 PM | This is embarrassing, but I'll tell you anyway.....And I haven't read the other posters' comments yet.
Last summer, (2006)....how should I say this? My daughter's best friend's and her mother came to my home for a short visit as well as a few other teens. While us adults were talking in the kitchen the teens were in the living room playing on the computer. A few minutes later one of the girl's called us to see what they found.
It was a private eye web-site where you can just enter a name, current address, and birth date. The daughter of the visiting woman placed her name, etc. to the web-site and pressed ENTER.....within a minute all this info showed up......including the fact she's been married at least 4 times.
Bottom line here is.....Everybody has access to public records.....but this web-site stated for a fee from $19 for a basic form to $69 for a comprehensive one is truly amazing.
contains info like:
voting record,
arrest record,
ownership of property,
bankruptcies,
lawsuits
liens
possible relatives
births and deaths
child support
military service
and the list goes on and on....
If you're getting serious about a person and/or is suspcious.......it doesn't hurt to look. | |
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| 'Something' in a background check,,,,
Posted: 6/23/2007 2:51:33 PM |
you have something you don't want someone else to find out about, then it would seem those are the ones to have something to object to and are the most vocal about calling paranoia on something as simple as a dang background check
You dont have to have something to hide to protest the concept of unwarranted scrutiny into the background of someone you barely know, much less haven't even met yet. I don't have to be black or a woman to protest unfair treatment to either group do I? How would you feel if "Joe Blow Neighbor Guy" was keeping a dossier on all your activities, coming and goings, who you see, how long you spend with who, what and where, essentially invading your privacy without your knowledge Bucs? You wouldn't have a an issue with that? Sorry Bucs, but I find your logic on this issue flawed at best.
It is not so much an issue of being for or against such things (so do us both a favor and stop harping on that BS, as well as the BS implications you are making), it has to do with trying to understand why such would be necessary in the first place unless you are indeed truly paranoid?
I mean if your gut is telling you "No" then that right there should be enough to go on to just say "No", and not pursue things any further, and move on. If however that is in fact not enough (why it wouldn't be I simply cannot fathom), and you feel compelled to make the next step in assessing and/or judging someone (that you haven't even met yet I might add), then at least have the common decency to let the person know what you are doing and why. Perhaps even before doing so. If they are truly worthwhile they wouldn't object would they, so you have no cause to be concerned with letting them know what you are doing, unless you have something to hide yourself.
I mean honestly Bucs by your logic I should just shoot your dog because hey "dogs bite people" (that is a fact) and I have no evidence to support that yours will or won't bite me, so why not err on the safe side and just shoot him, so I don't have to worry about it. And if you object to my shooting your dog then by your own logic, you must be objecting because you in fact know your dog will in fact bite me. There is alot to be said for common sense, perhaps people should start using it a bit more frequently, instead of looking to play the victim before they are one, and instead of creating more potential for drama, where such isn't necessary to begin with. I mean seriously are peoples lives that dull that they need to create drama to give it purpose? Yikes!
Have fun ;)! | |
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