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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 10:32:37 AM | My experience with women playing head games is the hot and cold syndrome.
Hot: ...at first, she seeks your attention and once she got it, she feeds on it.
Cold: soon as she knows your really into her, she suddenly distants herself.
and it goes on and on; when you lose interest, she comes back for more and then backs off. I think some women need a daily personal affirmation that they're still attractive, more like a little insecure to me.
Personally, at my age, I think this is childish and have no patience for women who are like this. Sometimes, I see in women eyes that they shouldn't have done those games (look of regret), as I totally cut them off.
On the other side of the coin, I've seen guys play women by prematurely saying they "love" them: promptly opens the door to have sex and at the same amount of time, they're dumped. I don't know why women are so gullible in that way, maybe there's truth to the old saying "lie to me and say you love me". | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 10:36:42 AM | People just don't get it! If your Human, alive, and still drawing breath
(even if it's from a machine lol) your a PLAYER!
So many people speak negativly of players, only when they are no good
at the game and are losing!
The players to avoid are those, and probably most humans fit into this
category, that are only concerned (or aware) of their OWN interests!
Since like attracts like, so many of these people meet similar people! | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 11:27:19 AM | Let's check few amusing definitions ( I bet these are written by men not fortunate enough in dating):
Male 'players' who are looking primarily for sex have 'learned' the 'rules' women play by when determining who they will have sex with, and use this knowledge to deceive the woman in such a way that she will give them sex. It's quite easy to understand from the first couple dates what are the real goal of your date, because we TALK. I don't ask him something stupid: What are you really looking for? Sure, he already knows the right answer. We talk about life, previous experiences, children, blah-blah-blah. It's not too hard to understand what he wants. Let's say it's sex. If I want it with this man, I might go there for some reasons (and I won't "give" it to him because it's shared activity. If I don't want to go down this road - I won't go any further. But it never even crossed my mind that I was played - I always knew what's going on and it was my choice...ALWAYS
I believe it's safe to say that no woman really wants to be played (although some of the female players might, deep down, be looking for that) yet players still play them. Can we say, I play men, if my goals are different from theirs, but I try to hide it? And if they are stupid enough to buy it? So, if people are dishonest about their goal, they are players, right?
Have it ever happen with you that something, starting like a game, I'd say very short-time game, grow into LTR or marriage? I had this experience and I am not sure who was a player and who was played. I was happy few years and I still believe that we had very good connection on many levels. And it started like a game
I think some women need a daily personal affirmation that they're still attractive, more like a little insecure to me All women need it. It's why if they don't get this feeling in their marriage, they try to find it elsewhere. Would it hurt you to call her and make her sure you love her (of course, if you do). If it does look insecure to you, you better look for non-emotional woman, which has own pros and cons.
I've seen guys play women by prematurely saying they "love" them: promptly opens the door to have sex and at the same amount of time, they're dumped. I don't know why women are so gullible in that way, maybe there's truth to the old saying "lie to me and say you love me". What if she needs that? Why do you assume that she's played? Maybe she just so tired from being alone and lonely that even fake light of love would make her happy. | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:15:52 PM | most common line used by a true player ..how could any guy play you your so special ....a players easiest potential victim is a broken heart ..someone that feels they have been played ..yes saying that you are not looking for a player is advertising for one
for a player putting looking for long term is bait...and seeing looking for long term is like seeing your fish on sonar
for me i hve found that the most honest way to enter any relationship is looking for a friend ..promising nothing except friendship and expecting nothing but friendship ...whether sex is involved or not | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:22:10 PM | Tabitha may I say you live in a very beautiful part of the world I have enjoyed visiting many times.By definition in this forum and many like it,we all are players and use head games one time or another.In this world of internet dating the so called rules are fluid and gender specific depending on which gender you read their post.I just wish I had this site 11 years ago when I started therapy,I could have saved myself alot of time and money .Your an inteligent,witty,vivacious,sensual creature and many of my gender will and do desire your fruits.Chose those of us you will grace with them,throw the rest away and forget about it.Terms used online are the same as those of each era they are idocentric to that particular Enity.Meaningless plather used by many to elude,escape,immortalize the every day drudgery of online searching/dating.Good Luck with your fishing. | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:55:15 PM |
A "player" is someone just out for either sex or a sugar momma/daddy. They say all the right things, do all the right things, but once they have slept with you they are outta there and you never hear from them again. That's a player
This is not exactly accurate. See my "what makes a player?" thread in "ask a girl" for more on this topic.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8335561.aspx
A man who is simply out for sex only is not a player. According to most women, a player lies. If a man doesn't lie, he's not a player.
Unlike most men, I welcome the head games. I undestand why women play them and I'm happy to join in the fun. | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:15:29 PM |
for me i hve found that the most honest way to enter any relationship is looking for a friend ..promising nothing except friendship and expecting nothing but friendship ...whether sex is involved or not How does LTR promise anything? If I choose LTR, it doesn't mean I am gonna marry YOU...it means that when I find the right guy I'll mostlikely marry him (unless he is against the marriage institution in the first place)
Why everybody thinks that if there is LTR, dating, or friends, it means WITH YOU??? Nobody will say FWB...... don't just read -- try to analyse the behavior. | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:19:33 PM | | It means they are vastly experienced, and know how to butter you up the right way, and can make you a sorrid mess by situation play ! | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:55:17 PM |
How does LTR promise anything? If I choose LTR, it doesn't mean I am gonna marry YOU...it means that when I find the right guy I'll mostlikely marry him (unless he is against the marriage institution in the first place)
well considering that the short time i was on here in the dating mode ..all the women i went out with ...no mater what they had listed were simply looking for a husband ..and it didnt really mater who that might be ...when a woman starts making plans for you moving in before the second date ...she aint to picky about who she has that relationship with ..now i always treat a woman the best way i know how ...for I am foremost a Gentleman ....but I just dont think I am that much of a catch that women can know im move in material in just one date ..i sure cant know that they are move in with material from one date ...
so thus my theory that I was looking for friends ...just friends and any relationship I may develop will be from someone that is on my list of friends ...besides If i have met you ,you are my friend ...some people that i consider my friends I will never meet ..thanks to forums ..but until you prove to me that you dont want to be my friend you are my friend ....but i will never go searching for a long term relationship ...I may be open for the possibility of you becoming my next long term relationship ....but never is the relationship the goal ...
i dont know the thinking behind these women but i do know you become what you say and if i say im looking for long term long enough i might just be so intent on getting it that i will accept something i really dont want ...yes i always wanted a companion someone to love ...someone to share my life with ...but was never looking for that just open to let Love find me | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/14/2008 3:57:41 PM |
I think some women need a daily personal affirmation that they're still attractive, more like a little insecure to me
All women need it. It's why if they don't get this feeling in their marriage, they try to find it elsewhere. Would it hurt you to call her and make her sure you love her (of course, if you do). If it does look insecure to you, you better look for non-emotional woman, which has own pros and cons.
You don't get what I'm saying - if the woman isn't attracted to the guy, but plays this hot/cold game just to know she is attractive; I would say that she's a little insecure.
Confident women don't need to do those things.
...and when did I write about marriage? hurt me to call her? WTF? I don't understand that part. | |
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| Player head games--is this code?
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:41:34 PM | She might just not feel that you like her. She might be more emotional than you, and then you are not the match.
I don't think she is playing something - it's her way to get your attention. She doesn't feel attractive WITH YOU, but mostlikely she still likes you, so she tries to prove it to herself. Otherwise, she would decide:"He is just not into me" and move on. But she's going back and forth - so something is attractive about you for her.
Marriage was an example of such situation, when people already married but wife doesn't get the feeling of love, belonging ect - then husband probably thinks, she's playing games. She doesn't - she try to convey that she feel lonely and eventually she'll find a substitute or divorce.
What makes a woman confident? At work - education+experience, in relationship - a man who let her know she's the only one for him.
Did I explain it better? | |
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