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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You      Home login  
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 Desertbro
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 151
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into YouPage 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
^^^^^^^ Desi: You have a warm heart! I try to see things from the other side, and I often post alternate explanations for what people tend to think of as common slights or rude behavior.

Sometimes when I bring this other viewpoint to light, I am accused of being a mindbender, a manipulator, a player, a liar, or worse. Is it really that painful for people to consider another viewpoint?

You can wear the reality-glasses without believing all you see, but at least take a look!
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 152
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 12/27/2007 6:30:35 PM
Ok...I am confused...how can you not believe all you see if you haven't looked...or did you take your glasses off again desert. Now come on...don't do a on me, wake up, besides, you have to go read my worst date. Yeah, on pof there are he's just not that into you, but outside of pof this was a total he was into himself
I did remember a non pof that happened to my mom He's Just Not That Into You if you receive the bill for his wedding invitations.
 cocytus
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 153
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:21:41 PM

A person with integrity gives others the benefit of the doubt. That means you get taken advantage of once in a while. You just have to learn to identify it and deal with it as soon as possible. I KNOW everyone isn't like me, but I give them the opportunity to show integrity....sometimes people actually DO show integrity, and that is refreshing.


I agree...WHEN it happens..it is refreshing.
But even people w/ integrity put self-interest first.
Can't forget that.

If you're asking other people whether or not a guy's "into" you...he's probably not.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 154
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 12/27/2007 8:09:00 PM

If you're asking other people whether or not a guy's "into" you...he's probably not.



...Now that makes perfect sense. Follow your instincts, you pretty much know whether or not they are...its a matter of admitting it.


...maeflowers
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 155
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:18:09 AM
The word integrity means to stick to a moral code..to be honest. I don't think anyone that HAS integrity would put self-interest in the forefront. Everyone gets taken advantage of every once in awhile..it's the human condition to be trusting..and or to want to trust. If a person can't/won't trust others..they're recommended to a therapist.

That's such a true line cocytus! No he probably isn't into you if you have to ask.
 karene1355
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 156
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:14:27 PM
Bayrab...you are SO right...but generally, no calls...no reaching out...no contact means no interest...
 firstlight
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 157
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:39:24 PM
And the number one sign that he's just not that into you.

He doesn't make plans with you on New Year's Eve and leaves you to post on the forums of POF.
 soft_touch_male
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 158
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:42:43 AM
FOLKS IF YOU NEED A BOOK TO TELL YOU IF SOMEONE IS NOT INTERSTED IN YOU SOMETHING IS VERY, VERY WRONG. GET REAL NOW FOLKS,,WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE.
1. IF HE NEVER CALLS
2. IF HE NEVER SENDS YOU A CARD IN THE MAIL.
3. IF HE DOESN'T SEND YOU AN EMAIL.
4. IF HE DOESN'T LEAVE LOVE NOTES WHERE YOU WILL FIND THEM.
5. IF HE NEVER BRINGS YOU JUST A SINGLE ROSE.
6. IF HE DOESN'T MAKES PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND THAT INCLUDES YOU.
7. IF HE NEVER ASK YOU HOW WAS YOUR DAY.
8. IF ALL HE TALKS ABOUT IS HIMSELF.
9. IF HE NEVER GIVES YOU A COMPLIMENT ON HOW NICE YOU LOOK.
10. IF HE WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME WITH HIS FRIENDS.
AND LADIES,,ALL OF THESE THINGS CAN APPLY TO YOU TOO,,REMEMEBER MOST,,AND I SAY MOST OF THE TIME,,YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE,,AND IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU GIVE,,MOVE ON,,AS THIS SITE SAYS
" THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH".
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 159
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:04:04 AM
#1 through N^Nth:

You suggest/imply/state your need for sex and he vanishes for the next 8 hours.
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 160
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:38:03 AM
1. IF HE NEVER CALLS
2. IF HE NEVER SENDS YOU A CARD IN THE MAIL.
3. IF HE DOESN'T SEND YOU AN EMAIL.
4. IF HE DOESN'T LEAVE LOVE NOTES WHERE YOU WILL FIND THEM.
5. IF HE NEVER BRINGS YOU JUST A SINGLE ROSE.
6. IF HE DOESN'T MAKES PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND THAT INCLUDES YOU.
7. IF HE NEVER ASK YOU HOW WAS YOUR DAY.
8. IF ALL HE TALKS ABOUT IS HIMSELF.
9. IF HE NEVER GIVES YOU A COMPLIMENT ON HOW NICE YOU LOOK.
10. IF HE WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME WITH HIS FRIENDS.


Players (who aren't into you except for sex) know all these rules, too. They can sweet talk, flatter, send love notes and roses and pretend they care....that's their MO. The trick is to figure out if he is sincere or just after sex...we often can't tell until he just disappears....then we figure out that he wasn't into us.
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 161
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:40:09 AM
^^^^^ Hey! That list could describe my relationship with Gawd-duh (aka God)! I don't know if Gawd-duh has "friends," tho. Unless you count angels as friends.
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 162
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:52:33 PM
From the book: "Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don’t even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you."
====================================================

Greg’s rant

The big question is Is it okay for a guy to forget to call me ? I’m saying to you “No” Barring disaster someone had to be rushed to hospital, he was just fired from his job. Someone just keyed his Ferrari. He should never forget to call you. If I like you I don’t’ forget you. Ever!
===============================
The truth
The big question. Is it okay for a guy to forget to call me? Yes! It’s not OK to forget to call you all the time but it is OK to forget to call you occasionally.

You are not a child who depends on a parent to pick her up from kindergarten at 3.30 sharp. You are a mature woman.

Ferrari. What Ferrari? The American luxury vehicle, these days, is the Winnebago. Not the Ferrari. Get with it.

As for the disaster excuse lets see how well that really stacks up with Greg’s intolerance.
A doctor saves a dozen lives a day and is actually trained to turn off to distractions outside surgery while it’s in progress. Lives depend on it. If he stops to ring you and somebody dies then I would sort of call that a disaster.

I sincerely hope your boyfriend is never operating on me if his mind is on your phone all the time.

An ambulance officer is routinely rushing people to hospital. Did you expect this guy to call you on his mobile, while hurtling through Brooklyn at 100mph with all sirens screaming.

Even a simple foundry engineer has to concentrate on nothing but that blast furnace to prevent explosions or meltdown resulting in loss of life.

Men face life and death situations on a daily basis both as professionals and amateurs. Once again I have personal experience. I had informed my girlfriend that I would call her at a pre set time to confirm a date. This was before everyone had a mobile. I got stuck in traffic behind a major accident and the police were miserably late so, with the car going nowhere, I wandered up to the crash and held a bleeding artery closed till the ambulance turned up.

Turned up at the girlfriend place late, no phone call, and covered in blood. Instead of the usual female tantrum she shoved me into the shower grabbed my car keys and ironed the spare set of clothes I always carry in my car. We still made it to the show on time and I may well have saved a life.

If you really want to know what its like for somebody to forget to call you then call your grandmother. Ask her how many times your mum forgot to call her because she was absolutely flat out taking care of you and your siblings.
 GentleCanuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 163
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:13:17 AM


From the book: "Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don’t even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you."


I call bull pies on that quote. The author is terribly insecure and not my type at all. Talk about being overly needy.

She is probably the type of woman who wants her man to work day and night so she can have more money. She is likely too weak to hold a job for more than a few months.

I have had many days where I was not only too busy to call from work, I could not call from work. The company security was such that I could NOT phone from work.

Plus, I literally was working 20 hour days, every day. Ok, some days were 19 hours. I did this for 3 months straight.

I have had girlfriends who wanted to be called everyday. I could call everyday for weeks and then miss a day or two due to work....then I would be accused of not loving them. I no longer have time for such insecure women.

Some work is seasonal and you work long, long hours and sleep the remaining few left in the day.
 sweetheartofafriend
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 164
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:33:37 AM
And the number one sign that he's just not that into you.

He doesn't make plans with you on New Year's Eve and leaves you to post on the forums of POF.
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you know what.. my friends new boyfriend did that to her.. he took a previous friend that is a girl,that he did have a crush on before he met his current girlfriend, out on new years eve.. and the next day my friend told him that she was bugged and that if he wanted to do that, that was fine.. but she doesn't want to get hurt.. and doesn't want to be with him then. (good for her!!!) and you know what??? He persued her more and he won her, got married and theyve been married now for 23 years!!!!
 wayetogo
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 165
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:05:08 AM
[OK what about the “busy” excuse, and how a guy who says he’s “busy” is just saying he’s a jerk:]

I've learned this one the hard way, but it is # 1 for me now that "he's just not that into you".
 My freshstart
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 166
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:29:47 AM
maybe I'm weird but if there 's a little chemistry on the first date / a little flirting going on, etc.. I want a kiss that night! no 3rd date rule for me!
 GentleCanuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 167
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:20:06 PM


you know what.. my friends new boyfriend did that to her.. he took a previous friend that is a girl,that he did have a crush on before he met his current girlfriend, out on new years eve.. and the next day my friend told him that she was bugged and that if he wanted to do that, that was fine.. but she doesn't want to get hurt.. and doesn't want to be with him then. (good for her!!!) and you know what??? He persued her more and he won her, got married and theyve been married now for 23 years!!!!


Thank you for sharing that beautiful story. Your friend did several things right: she showed respect for herself; had high standards and stuck to them; didn't condemn the guy. She let him know that he could date whom he wanted, but that she would not be part of it.

The happy ending appeals to my romantic side.

My sister did something similar. Her boyfriend was waffling about going back to his ex. So she simply told him to choose and gave him a deadline. He chose her, and they have been married for several years now. As far as I know, the ex-wife has not been an issue.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 168
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:59:01 PM

Plus, I literally was working 20 hour days, every day. Ok, some days were 19 hours. I did this for 3 months straight.


...I know what you mean, I find that at times I come home from work and I feel like my brain is fried. I communicate with people all day long and some times I dread the thought of getting into a conversation with someone. I'm tired and just want to watch some mindless television or read.....*hmmm, wonders to herself if theres a clue there as to why "he's just not that into me"*


...maeflowers
 sweetheartofafriend
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 169
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:37:41 PM
My sister did something similar. Her boyfriend was waffling about going back to his ex. So she simply told him to choose and gave him a deadline. He chose her, and they have been married for several years now. As far as I know, the ex-wife has not been an issue.
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wow thats pretty amazing. Good for her for standing up for herself!!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 170
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:36:43 PM



Come on guys....aren't we all familar with the "game"?? I play it all the time and it really does work. It is human nature to want what you can't have and by not calling for a few days really creates an effect.

"That trick NEVER works!" -- Rocket J. Squirrel

At least on me it doesn't. When things are inaccessable, I start looking for alternates that will provide what I need without the hassle and expenditure of great resources.

A woman plays hard to get, she wins instantly, I'm am gone, she was too hard.

A woman talks to me honestly, and if there is real interest between us, I will stay. Not calling is just inconsiderate. Playing games creates distrust and destroys any chance at building a real relationship. Instead, it forces a man to play a guessing game, and that always ends badly: "Well before when you said "No" it meant try harder, so how was I to know that "No" really meant "No" ???"


Bravo...my feelings exactly....if someone ignores me it doesnt make me become more into them...it causes me to think they were the person I thought they were to start with...if you want to know how I feel ask me, Ill tell you honestly but if you try to mess with my mind and my emotions..you dont deserve me in your life.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 171
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:12:09 PM
^^ weren't ....dang no edit
 yoodle
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 172
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:45:38 PM

it may not always be a case of "just not that into you." It might be a case of Bud Light
Parallel lines:
Mom who moans that you never come visit, even when you're VISITING her. And/or moans that the sibling who isn't there never has any time for her...makes you wonder what they hear about you when they're visiting. (I'm not Jewish.)

BF who tells you where he went to dinner--with friends--but you recollect that any dinners you've had together were rare--or at your table. Grumps that his roommate is no good because he's off spending the weekend with his girlfriend...but you realize that roommate is making plans with a gal and wonder: is that what makes him no good? Moans that children never call, even to the point he's suicidal--but doesn't return 3 voicemails you leave (wondering about his suicidal tendencies). BF takes you to dinner and...uses the "complimentary meal card" he got for complaining about their service--complaining yet AGAIN about their service...why go to a place with service you don't like? So it's time to eat out of my own trough: I'm complaining. Maybe I should LISTEN to what I'm not hearing--and admit I'll never be up if I'm holding down both ends of the teeter-totter...if I seek places where my presence brings joy, maybe my joy will be increased.
 Wine4us
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 173
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/24/2008 4:51:03 AM
If someone is "just not that into you", you will know it right away. Calling during the day, some people cannot with work and due to what they do that should be respected. But after work, never having any time, not being available to meet, at least for a glass of wine, well, thats someone not to be involved with.

I'm a very busy person and there is always time if I was to meet that special someone. In fact, I wish I had someone to call, someone special to just sit and have a glass of wine. Today, I'll be cleaning my garage car, taking care of my pets, swimming, and visiting friends. I would love to hold the hand of someone special.....

I am busy, but you have the time when you meet that special someone.
 Myrna43
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 174
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Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:25:49 AM
He takes three calls from the ex while you are having dinner at his place and he never tells her he has company

He buys the ex a condo next door to his

He keeps referring to her kids as his kids

He tells you the ex is a drunk and he has to take care of her

He never invites you to his church or company party

He goes out of town for two weeks without contacting you

He constantly talks about his dead wife

He does not return your calls

He never takes you out on the weekend or never spends a weekend with you

He has never invited you to his home

He leaves very soon after having sex with you

Just from past experience I could write a book of my own. Oh well have to consider it lessons learned and keep trying.
 My freshstart
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 175
Sign’s He’s Just Not That Into You
Posted: 5/24/2008 11:10:45 AM
he says he wants to meet me and can't wait to say my name out loud sooo nice! BUT never makes an attempt to make that first meeting happen

give it up - he's just not as into me as he wants me to believe. move on already!!!
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