| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 2:58:57 PM | A mortgage on a house that is worth at least as much as what is owed... is generally not a bad thing.
A house can be sold. So if the house is not going to be right... its cureable. when the house is sold... the mortgage dissapears (because it gets paid off  )
Its the people who have a $20k annual income, $25k in credit card debt, $25k owed on a car thats worth $19k, are paying for 500 channels of cable TV and 500 channels of satelite, use AOL and Roadrunner broadband + internet phone and a landline and have a cell phone and all thier furniture is from the rent-to own place (none paid off) living in an apartment paying more than half their monthly TAKE HOME in rent, And are 3 months behind on half of thier bills but still buying more stuff... who are totally irresponsible.
I met a guy who made $250,000 a year who couldn't get a loan for a Yugo... He had too much debt. Thats TOTALLY irresponsible. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 6:05:37 PM | Rehabadict, the problem is that we are talking personal bankruptcy. The credit cards are in my name, the bank loan was a personal one, and so on. Not so easy to get corporate credit because if it is corporate, the creditors know you can just walk away as you suggest. With personal credit, your life is in the balance, so credit is easier.
So Mr Sub it is, ladies!
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 7:24:54 PM | No, I would not date a man who was in financial straits. I once dated a man who was in bankruptcy, and he proved to be quite careless with his money. He would go out bar hopping every night, and have his phone cut off for non-payment. I had to loan him money to make a house payment once, and he tried to blame it on me! Later, after we had broken up, he lost his house to foreclosure, and had to move in with his new GF...another barfly/lush.
I look back on that one and say "what was I thinking?" | |
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EngWI
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Joined: 9/6/2004
Msg: 57 | |
| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:00:18 PM | I never had debt (I have the cost of one lightbulb on my credit card, forgot my cash that day and really needed that lightbulb). But when I first started my company and had zero income basically, I would say most women would have ran. Now that it is successful and generating a good income, the issue disappeared.
tiggertiger....
I recommend trying again. Hell, worst case is a bigger hole you still can't fill. Where is the downside? | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:00:50 PM | YES a partner's financial wizardry should influence you.
1) Learn a lesson from the widow(ers) forum.... you could be the one left holding the whole bag.
2) Money is the root of a whole lot of heartache unless it is managed wisely.
3) Alas, most people don't seem to be able to change their evil ways.... so if your intended took others to the cleaners, you could be next.
Funny how you can recognize the over 40's (or in other words - been there, done that group) by what they type.... | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:35:39 PM | Quest for Love your response I think quite erroneous in anylisis to the issue I profferred.
I have nothing against credit cards. Did you read what I wrote? If you did you would fail even the highschool english comprehension course.
THe gist of my opening thread was about irresponsible spending. ANd you find this appealing, or acceptable from the debating points you present?
How did you come to the conlusion about materialistic people? Constructive, rational and deductive reasoning and common sense is not your strong strong suit.
YOU WRITE:also i think you just want to 'be right.' when the truth is its just a quirk in your personality, a quirk that could cause unhappiness if you're not more respectful of other's differences. and/or their power.
If you wish to play the erzats arm chair shrink then you might want to analyze your response as it manifests a major sense of envy and greed and the right to wanting from another. How does irresponsible spending have to do with respecting other people's differences?
And you have deep seated anger emanating from your response , especially in your last paragraph, almost childish and petulant and hardly befitting merit as it in no way addresses the salient issue of my opening thread.
You obviously missed the whole concept of my presentation and therefore the lack of critical reasoning and appropriate level of insight inyour response.
Perhaps , you are irresponsible with the management of your credit cards. Irresponsible management of credit cards is the same as gambling addiction .
AS for the reference to your father , you do have some deep seated resentment against him . Psychotherapy aids in venting frustration and antipathy. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:37:49 PM | tiggertigger
please listen to rehabaddict
he's dead on
after you file and can breathe
start another business
my friend had great credit- high credit- then had to file due to some business white squalls-
he agonized- then finally did- in two years, has over 50K in unsecured credit cards with low interest rates
things have changed out there
the credit card and mortgage lenders are so greedy and so pushy- they will give anyone another chance\
as far as the rest of the question-
sure- depending on what it's for- if it's real life -sure
if it's lap dances and dinners- no | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 8:53:16 PM | Blanche, if you declare personal bankruptcy, you are finished for 7 years. You can not have a credit card, a leased car, anything like that. And your credit is ruined with everybody especially the banks. Try getting a loan after that. Then after 7 years, you start from scratch with no credit. Declaring personal bankruptcy is not a freebie. There is a huge penalty to be paid.
Oh, I forgot. You also lose your house. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:09:39 PM | tiggertiger
actually... you need to read bankrutcy rules.
You can get credit cards the day after your bankruptcy filing is done.
You can get a leased car.... actually easier than one that you get a loan on.
You can even get a mortgage and buy a house.
Yes there are penalties involved.... but its NOT as bad as you are making out.
***********
My brother owns a loan brokerage... (How do you think I met someone who makes $250K a year and couldn't get a loan for Yugo?) | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:36:58 PM | | Sure, in theory you can get credit, but who is going to lease a car to someone with an R9 rating? Who is going to give a credit card to someone with that rating? Bankruptcy is death for your credit. It stays on your history for 7 years. But what is worse, is that after those 7 years, your credit history is blank. And there is only one reason why someone would have a blank credit history at such a point in life - a previous bankruptcy. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:57:52 PM | unpaid bills stay on your rating for 7 years or until paid off... if you just stiff the lender.
Each late payment stays on for 7 years.
Each court judgement stays on for 7 years.
At least with a bankruptcy you get the creditors to quit calling and CLEAN THE SLATE. If you don't goof it up again... then at 7 years from date of bankruptcy... you can have a perfect rating.
If you don't claim bankruptcy... your credit could be hozed for 30 years.
Pick your poison.
***********
And again... the day after you file bankruptcy... there will be credit card companies putting offers in the mail to you. Someone who has gone bankrupt is a good risk... they can't file again for at least 7 years. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 4:59:56 AM | From personal experience,a potential mates credit debt SHOULD be the FIRST thing checked out..And discussed in DETAIL...I didn't follow my own advice that I'm giving here,and it cost me dearly....Brief outcome=====It was 1 of the things that led to her becoming an alcoholic,what led her to have an affair(her money problems caused many arguments),and our divorce....Which then financially ruined me,and she came out smelling like a rose......
Steve | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 5:31:41 AM |
If you don't goof it up again... then at 7 years from date of bankruptcy... you can have a perfect rating.
At the end of those 7 years, your credit is not perfect. You have no credit. Which is almost as bad as bad credit. Good credit is built with time. If you have no credit history, which will be the case after those 7 years elapses, then you are back to square one trying to get credit.
When I was a young man, I had no credit history. At that time, getting credit was next to impossible. Now, if you are, say, 40, and you have no credit history, lenders will know that it was because you went bankrupt. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 5:50:17 AM |
Now, if you are, say, 40, and you have no credit history, lenders will know that it was because you went bankrupt.
Or perhaps it means that you don't believe in credit and have always paid for all you have. That wouldn't be me for sure. They are out there though. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 6:20:33 AM | FredHH, Blanche Dubois, you folks need to understand bankruptcy laws different from state to state and country to country, Fred you live in Texas, Blanche youre in California (USA) Tiggertiger lives in the province of Ontario(CANADA) Im in the finance business so I can shed a little light on the subject, in the Province of Ontario once a person declares bankruptcy 99.99% of credit card companies will not issue them a credit card, these rules came in effect as of the year 2000, and the Banks that will issue credit cards will only do so once they have been "DISCHARGED"there are exceptions if one gets a "SECURED VISA" they can get one after one day of going bankrupt.
What Tiggertiger is referring to is when a corporation tries to get a credit card, loan,lease etc, most banks will ask for your financial statements of the corporation, and if it shows the company not making money or has little retained earnings, the bank/lease company etc etc etc, will ask for a personal guarantee, so if your credit is shit, good luck.
Now, if you are, say, 40, and you have no credit history, lenders will know that it was because you went bankrupt.-tiggertiger I hate to say this but it depends on your ethnicity, sad to say you're right a lot of creditors think that way, but if you're from another country coming into Ontario where you don't believe in Credit cards its easier for that person to get credit, and in some cases they will make them put of security for the credit card.
For most people who have R9's on there bureau and if they need credit, secured visa's is the only way and one advice to Canadians never go to credit counseling, they're a joke and can be cause you more damage in the future. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 6:56:33 AM | "Funny how you can recognize the over 40's (or in other words - been there, done that group) by what they type...."
Haha, well put ashley!
I have nothing against some debt. I mean obviously a lot of people have mortgages, car payments, etc. But if they are irresponsible about it, its a bad sign.
I remember back when I first started working after college, I mean, me and this guy were making about the same amount of money (and not a lot at that point)... I bought a cheap Nissan Sentra just to get me around, he was burying himself with payments on a BMW. He'd just gotten back from a month vacation in Australia, staying at the "best of the best" places (5-star everything), and was constantly complaining how broke he was, his credit cards were all maxed out, etc (yet he was always 'buying' at the bar). I found it amazing, because I was renting a house with 2 friends at the time, and on basically the same paycheck was living quite comfortably (and saving money to buy a house, yes, while being early 20's and hanging out at the bars on weekends, etc). Last I knew of the guy from work was he got laid off, had nothing to fall back on, the BMW got repo'd, and he was moving "down south, where its cheaper".
The one I read on here that amazes me the most was the widowed woman (10+ yrs older than me I think) who was "helping her boyfriend" with his business.. to the tune of giving him the better part of $100K, and he was still asking her for more! Yow. Do you really want to be with someone like that, who can't manage their own finances and expects you to help them?
I mean I have an ex-GF who's been trying that, she calls me incessantly (I don't answer, and its been a few days but her last msg was that her phone might be getting cut off, and/or she was gettting evicted) wanting money. Sadly, she has a kid (not mine... after me) and is living on state aid... yet calls me begging for money, to pay off the $500 phone bill that she ran up calling sex chat lines, and the 500-channels of cable she ordered. I think the last thing I told her was basically "you need to grow up!". | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:40:57 PM | I'd be less impressed by her past than her present. If she's continually going in and out of debt, or she cannot tell me her bank balance, or something else, then I'd be worried about long-term, for sure. Old debts can be managed, and even cleared with current legislation, but bad spending habits and mismanagement of finances never go away.
And being an ex-accountant doesn't help. It's just like being a lawyer or a doctor. You do it all brilliantly in the office, and when you get home, it all goes to pot. I should know, my Mum's an accountant. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:48:47 PM | | I will have to disagree with some fellow posters. Debt is debt, no matter what the type/kind. It is one thing to look at one person's assets and income ("golddigging") and another to avoid people with negative net worth and/or richy-rich spending habits. The confidence of the US consumer even when times are "hard" may be good for the US economy as a whole (it bails it out of dire straits) but at "micro" level, debt is debt and it "enslaves" people, IMO. People have to be "free" to be dateable, IMO. | |
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| Does one's financial debt influence your choice in a potential mate?
Posted: 6/9/2007 7:10:12 PM |
I am debt free , I do have a credit card but I can't imagine seriously involving myself with a man if he had credit card debt coming out of his whazoo. Personally, I believe one should not be indebt for more then 10 percent of their annual income.
It is actually something I look at the more I get to know someone. Some debt is fine, but to me it is more of a question is this person living within their means? House and car debts are cool as long as they aren't trying to live like Bill Gates on a middle class income, but huge credit card debts is a deal killer. | |
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