| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/3/2007 11:27:32 PM | | Well smgreen I'd get clipped before you do end up with kids. Then I'd find a gal that believes and thinks like you do. The gal and the kids are ALWAYS a package deal. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:04:27 AM | | You know what.... I feel like a dumb @ss because I know that I have that I DON'T want kids on my profile and that could be the reason why some females hadn't responded to good game. And to think, I just got an attitude with this female not too long ago for not responding to my oh so pleasant email because.... well, because I could. And I was in a mood, so I guess she'll get over it. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/4/2007 4:16:52 AM | | I don't think i could for a long term relationship. Im pretty sure i want kids at some stage, in fact id be gutted if i were infertile, but there are many women out there who may not want kids/already have them. Would you be ok being with a woman who already has some of her own? That might be the best way to go. I think some women who say they dont want kids might change their mind. But you can definitely find someone out there who doesnt want any, just be clear from the start you don't want them and say you will never change your mind. A woman might think you will change your mind in the future otherwise and be dissapointed when you don't. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/5/2007 1:50:49 AM |
Say this guy is exactly what you're looking for in a partner, EXCEPT he doesn't want kids? Are you willing to give up that part of you to ensure you're long-term happiness with one man? Are you kidding? That's my ****ing dream. 
So, basically, what you're looking for is a strong-minded business woman who doesn't want children because they would impede her climb to the top of the career ladder. Not necessarily. I have a decent career, and have for a few years now. I'm nowhere near a workaholic, and I don't care to move up in my job (if it's even possible), nor do I want kids. For me, there's no connection between the two.
OP - if you want to get "snipped", by all means do so. I don't know if you'll find a Doc who is willing. If it's something he wants to do, he'll be able to find someone. It might take some shopping around. I got lucky. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/10/2007 12:18:04 PM | | I want kids some day but I rather have my own. My brother is in his early 30's with no kids and a G/F. He is doing okay and I think I would rather take it slow with someone. My profile, I put undecided to open on kids on my profile. That why I haven't gotten any reply's, go figure. Its kind of hard for me to date someone with kids because I was brought up the old fashion way which hardly exist anymore. First is marriage then if the couple can support a kid then have one together. I can't see myself with someone else kid now. Maybe once I get older if I'm still single, then maybe. For now, I'm looking for women with no kids. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/11/2007 6:48:24 PM | OP, welcome to my life.
So many want kids or already have kids. Which is fine. Just doesn't work for me. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 7/11/2007 7:26:49 PM | | I am a 39 yo female who has had the same problem. I knew at age 10 that kids were not for me and you would be surprised about the number of arguments, even within my own family, that I have had about this topic. Why do people think I am sick if I dont want to spend my time with kids. Hell, life has too many other exciting things I would rather experience. My advice, if you really dont want kids hang in there. Don't get deeply involved with a woman who says she wants rats but is ok with not having them if that is what you want. Even if they are unsure but think they might, they probably will in the future. We are out there...take your time! You will be single longer perhaps but happier in the long run. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/8/2008 12:36:03 PM | did a bit of searching and found this thread instead of starting another one. sorry to drag up an old topic but I wanna add to this. Like the original poster, I am dead against having kids. now or at any point in the future.  
My feelings came about because I was going to move to a different area of the country with my best friend (into the place he stayed with his brother, till i sorted myself out) shortly after I graduated university (we were both 21) as I struggled to find employment in my desired industry. then A week Before I was going to move to where he stayed, he announced that his girlfriend was pregnant and he was going to take on the headyness of fatherhood.... AT 21!!!! (hence scuppering my plans). Down the line i saw what became of him and he quickly became shadow of his former self. physically unfit and very subdued moreso as the kid grew up. Recently him and his partner had another one. his transformation and the stuff he had to go through as a young dad SCARED me brown-stuff-less.
iIt was only in the last 2 years did I manage to find a secure, well payed job that I enjoy doing, however between then and university that I worked in a horrible job and was my morale and confidence was non-existant, and as a result my social/dating/sex life was the same. Now I'm feeling happier with myself and ready to kick start my social/romantic life, But I still will NOT have kids involve, I won't have my own, nor will I take anyone else's on board. However it seems many women in their early - late 20's where I am (aberdeen, Scotland), have all got at least one kid in tow and are (supposedly) happily engaged or even married. Just about every single - single woman in my desired age bracket here (early 20's - early 30's) has at least one kid it would seem.   .
I'm sorry, but seeing someone that comes "as a package" or "with Baggage" is something I can't do, not at my stage in life. I want to enjoy myself, and can't do that around kids.
I live my life by the following Mottos:
"the only Offspring I desire, is their back catalogue.
and when you go diving, wear a wetsuit. and make sure there's enough water to go swimming otherwise the suit will tear!! 
Now if you're a single woman from Aberdeen between 20 and 30, you're childless and your biological clock has stopped ticking, Hit me up  (although I will be moving to Edinburgh in june  ) | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/8/2008 3:44:01 PM | | Personally, I would not respond only because him NOT wanting to have kids would mean he doesn't have everything. For me having children is something I know I want for sure in the future, and if the guy wouldn't it would be a deal breaker same as smoking or drugs. There are however, women who don't want kids, and whom I'm sure would have no problem for sure with that. And who knows...maybe you meet that someone and you feel differently and decide you may after all want kids. If not not big deal you can still find someone compatible I'm sure. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/10/2008 12:00:03 PM | oh for peet's sake! you are only 30 years old! you don't have to make such a decision like that! trust me, if the right woman came along... ala... the love of your life... and she wanted kids? i bet you'd capitulate...please... this is not anything to worry about... you have no rush to even make such a decision... you ahve all time in the world...
lara | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/10/2008 12:41:04 PM | | I would actually be really happy to meet a man who does not want children as i don't want any either.I see no reason to help populate an already overpopulated planet. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:57:19 PM | I think you're wise to pass over the profiles who want children - it just can't work long term. Once a woman starts feeling the need to breed, its pretty all consuming and important. I have a brother is utterly terrified of what he refers to as "ticking women." I look at some of my 40 something childless friends and can start to see the reason for his terror - they even scare ME sometimes, and I'm not even a potential sperm donor. Hee!
And sure, its harder to find women who don't want to ever have any, but it can't be any harder than trying to find a man who doesn't need to seed the earth! I have had a few relationships end because the guy really wanted kids and I didn't, and in one case, the relationship lasted months longer than it should have because the man thought I'd "change my mind" when I realized how wonderful he was. Whoo! Um, no.
I like kids - ask my friends who have them - its kind of like a person who doesn't have cats getting pounced on by every kitten in the room. But my biological clock just wasn't installed in the factory. *shrug*
At first, I preferred not to date men who had them because it was hard being part of a pre-existing family, and quite frankly, in most cases, the children's mother would be an ever-present and sometimes problematic variable. But I softened that perspective in the last few years - now, if someone has kids, its not an instant deal breaker at all - but even better if they're grown up and the ex wife is re-married already :) | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:13:17 PM | | There is nothing wrong with not wanting children... I have a sister who is married and no they don't have them... but they do make a GREAT aunt & uncle.... so there's a girl out there for you.... and I did note tolerance in your profile... you state if you do have children better if they are 10 or older... so you do seem open... because from here out you will run into women w/children.... but like I said there are women out there who agree with you as several have here... | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:25:39 PM | | I think that if you know 100% that that is what you want out of a relationship, then strive for it - granted you may be cutting off some women that do have kids that are truly great women, BUT if kids are not in your interest and you cannot imagine getting used to little rugrats around, then stay away from them to be honest. It's as simple as that - it's not like they can (or SHOULD) abandon their children just because you don't like em. See my point? | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:40:26 AM | Never ever wanted kids of my own as well, sounds similar to the original post. No tolerance for little children, and didn't want the responsibility. If I could have gotten snipped at 16 I would have! Would have saved a LOT of worry over the years. I did have it done a few years ago when I FINALLY met a doc that would do it. Many won't if you have never had kids. I don't mind older kids, BUT along with dating a woman with older kids comes a few new issues. If the real father is responsible like he should be, he will be 'around' forever. (If he is not, that is ANOTHER set of problems). There will always be drama between the woman and he, whether it is over child support, or what schools the kids go to, etc. That's a real bite considering as a non-parent, I can walk in without adding similar drama to her life. My ex-'s are just that, EX's. So it IS a compromise there, and sometimes is just too much to deal with as well. One of the worst scenes is taking the woman to see her kid in the school play, you sitting on one side of her, and the ex- on the other! Remember you will ALWAYS be last on the pecking order, the ex- even being 'above' you. No matter how much of an 'a**hole' he may be to the woman, he IS the kid's father, and if a situation comes up where its a choice between you and he, you lose! And then there is the possibility of grandbabies.
Its NOT an easy situation to be in. Most women I have met who don't have or want kids, and who are older (my age) tend to be too independent and don't know truly how to share.
Given all the variables, its a REALLY tough search when you eliminate the 'kids' factor. I know, I've been searching for 12 years.
To the woman who said you are too young to make that decision, and might change your mind after meeting the woman of your dreams.....well she hasn't a clue how you feel about it. That logic doesn't work any more than the couples who are having marital problems and think having kids will 'fix-it'. Sorry, that's NOT reality..Good luck! | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:54:23 AM | yeah after 2 paternity suites i just got snipped! To much hassle.
i'll adopt instead:D
Choa Coya | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/16/2008 9:34:23 AM |
So here's the deal. I'm 30 years old, never married, and have no kids. I can truly, honestly say that I've never felt that deep-seeded feeling that I want to have kids, a family, etc. I've talked about it with a couple of my close friends, one of whom has a son, the other who does want a family at some point, and the feeling/thoughts/etc they have...well, I've never had. I understand the psychological reasons why, and won't bore you with those. The fact remains, I do not want kids to the point that I'm strongly considering a vasectomy.
The question that I have is, would you respond to an ad, date, enter into a serious relationship, etc., with a guy like that? Say this guy is exactly what you're looking for in a partner, EXCEPT he doesn't want kids? Are you willing to give up that part of you to ensure you're long-term happiness with one man?
I don't know why I'm asking. Probably because I'm sure that's probably the biggest reason I get a lot of looks, but not much more beyond that on a posting (here or anywhere). I'm a decent looking guy, stable, successful, not psychotic, and have all my limbs. Granted, there's other factors involved (not every girl goes for the big, bald, biker looking guy, for example ;)) but I believe the kid/family thing is the biggest hurdle.
Maybe this was more of a 'getting this off my mind' thing then a question, so I appreciate you reading. :)
That's a tough question, since I've always wanted children. However, I was seeing a guy from on here that had been married, had two small boys, and had a vasectomy. He told me up front even before meeting so it was no surprise. The fact that I wanted children and he couldn't have any more bothered him more than it did me. I told him that having children is no quarantee. At this point, I don't know for sure if I can have them and who's to say if I married someone that hadn't had a vasectomy, that he would be able to have children too. Many people get married and end up not being able to have children for one reason or another. My comment to him was you can't help falling in love with the people you do. Things didn't work out for us for other reasons than him not being able to have kids. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/16/2008 9:51:11 AM | That was a nice post. I really liked it. i myself have been snipped. I have 1 child and i went through 2 paternaty test. only to find out that the two children where in fact not mine.
I am very secure in the fact i will never have any more of my own but i do take comfort that even as a single dad i have been aproved for adoption. So i leave it to adoption now
Choa Coya | |
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Icene
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Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 47 | |
| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/16/2008 1:47:49 PM | I don't believe everyone is meant to have children and you should follow your heart. If you don't want children, please do not have them. It is horrible seeing a child that is unwanted by either parent.
I currently do not have any children, but I would like to have a family some day. Preferably a traditional one where he and I are both single-never married/no kids. If that doesn't happen, that doesn't happen. Its merely a preference, not a requirement. Would I get serious about a guy who never wanted children? No, I wouldn't. We're on different paths with different goals, and our differences will slowly become more and more important as time passes. If my desire for a family were not a core desire, then it wouldn't be a big deal. It is a core issue for me though, so I could never consider a man at odds with something so close to my heart. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:23:14 PM | i would have to say that it would make a huge difference if a guy that i was with did not want to have children. i can NOT imagine my life without children, so it goes to say that i could not stay in a relationship with a man that does not want children.
there are plenty of women out there that do not want children so i guess you people just need to find each other. children arent for everyone, and some people should never become parents and do. if you feel that you do not want children stick to your beliefs!!!!!! | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:51:27 PM | | I don't have or want to have children, so I wouldn't be giving anything up. But if I DID want children this would be my thought process: "If he's not willing to sacrifice a life without children for me, why should I be willing to sacrifice a life with children for him?" The kids issue is almost impossible to compromise on. Perhaps you should try a childfree dating service: dinklink.com. | |
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| A guy that does not want kids
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:09:42 PM | | I think you should keep your options open.. if you fall madly in love with a woman in a year or 3 or 5 years and she wants children more than anything in the world you may wish you could at least give her a compromise.. its easy being single saying "oh no kids" but if you fall in love and marry a woman, you're old enough and financially stable.. and she wants children you may want to give her that option.. Idk.. I get where you are coming from but it seems selfish to not even have room for a compromise.. even if the ending decision is NO KIDS I would feel honored if I was included in the converstation as a woman | |
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