| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:42:35 PM | | Im a smoker but i never smoke around my child or around anyone that doesnt smoke so if we are talkin about dating smokers y wouldnt u? we are no different than anyone else other than we have a bad habit. maybe some of us do it for our nerves would it be better for us to pick up a nerve pill and eat it? I dated a non smoker who i really liked and would spend the whole weekend with him without a cig even when he told me it was ok. Its not like we blow it right in ur face. Most of us are very considerate about it so to say you would never date someone that smokes is pretty ignorant because you might be missin out on one hellofa person | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:50:49 PM | Excellent post chelsea, I think you have just hit the nail on the head! I take care of these patients too. It's a real shame that many of these patients don't realise that they have made a big mistake until it is too late. There are too many smokers saying "if only".......
We do what we have to do, we care for these sick people, we try and educate them as best we can, but we are so very often treated with hostility for giving health advice. This and other smoking posts prove the point......... | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:05:33 PM | | You are very a bright lady and true witness to what it does to you and those around you and living proof quitting can be done and maintained.Congradulations!And thank you. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:02:18 PM | There is no such thing as a considerate smoker. Sure, you might only smoke in private not smoke around any one else. That does not make you considerate. Sure you may not be smoking around others but you are failing to look at the impact of your smoking to those around you who love and care for you.
Is it considerate of your children to shorten your life so you won't be around for them? Is it considerate of your children to have your health decline to the point where you can no longer care for yourself and they are forced to take you in? Is it considerate of your parents who could potentially have to bury a child? No parent should ever have to bury a child. Is it considerate of your grand children when you can't exert yourself for more than two minutes playing with them without losing your breath? Is it considerate to all of your other family members and friends that your decision to smoke could reduce the quality and amount of time they get to spend with you? The answer to all of these is a resounding NO! | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:09:42 PM | In case anyone cares to know.......Know why I am so strongly against smoking?
I lost my Mother to smoking related heart problems at the age of 54. She died exactly a month to the day before my Son was born. My Mother was one of the smartest people I have known. She was a Nurse (R.N.) a business manager, a great friend to many and a great person. As a medical professional she should have known better than to smoke. But, she made the decision to continue smoking even after the Dr.s told he that she needed to stop for medical purposes. She was unable to stop....... and as a result of this I lost my Mother when I was 31 years old.
So to the Tobacco Industry that continues to manipulate the nicotene levels and addictive qualities of cigarettes I say a hardy F*CK YOU. To you smokers who think you are bullet proof and this will never happen to you I laugh in your face. To those of you that think your smoking harms no one but you...... You have my sympathies because you are truly egocentric and selfish..........
And people wonder why I am so vehemently against smoking......... Now you know. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:30:37 PM | Optimistically, I also lost my mom from smoking related heart disease, she was 52. She was also a nurse, she should have known better, but she got hooked on cigarettes at the tender age of 12. I was robbed of my mom at a very young age, I was 28 when she died. She never got to see her only grandson and 2 great grand children born, or see her 3 grandaughters grow up into beautiful women. I still miss her very much, her death could and should have been prevented.......
I am with you 100% on this, it's a shame that we have to constantly stand our ground and try and fight a never ending battle....... | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:05:19 PM | | Well london lass thanks for listening, but I think you might be the only one and you don't smoke. I don't know if you've heard this story or not but it sure touched me. A young man who works with hands lost his right hand in an accident. He cries to the young surgeon please I need my hands to work I have a family. The older wiser surgeons say are you kidding me he smokes and your wasting your time on this one. But the young surgeon says no YOUR wrong he'll never smoke again, how could he, knowing whats at stake. Well he successfully sews the mans hand back on, but guess what he does smoke and he lost his right hand. This is his story and he has since quit smoking, a little too late I'm afraid. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:26:01 PM | Well, I could date a smoker if he agrees not to smoke in the same room that I'm inhaling. But I don't impose on smokers by asking them to leave the room. I leave and make a conscious choice to stay away from inhaling smoke.
For you smokers, would you respect your lover's wish to not smoke in the same room that she's in, or do you feel that is infringing on your right to smoke? | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:30:05 PM | Regarding your post, optimistically cynical (post#256) with all due respect sir, you might be surprised to find out that I agree with everything you said in there....just because someone smokes doesn't mean that the rest of them is also stupid....we smokers have access to the same information as the rest of you guys and we KNOW all of that also, but what is irritating here is this is not what this thread was supposed to be about, the question was " Would you date a smoker?" It wasn't "What's wrong with smokers and "Do you think smokers are stupid"?
Everything you wrote in your post could be said about one who is overweight or obese....or one who drinks a little too much and too often, or one who abuses drugs (both legal and illegal)....just taking the obesity factor in North America right now, it is fast becoming our number one health care crisis and the biggest one yet to hit such a wide population...just the health implications for obese children are enormous both for the child and for the costs incurred to the health sytem...I will not get into the semantics here but anyone can do the research for themselves and unless one lives in a bubble, everybody is well aware of all the health risks associated with being overweight and/or obese and of having bad eating habits and an unhealthy sedimentary lifestyle....yet I can't for the life of me imagine what one would think if I would write such a post and change the word smoker for obese....there'd be an outcry and I would be sent to ban camp for a few days under the guise of me "bashing" and insulting people, yet it's okay to bash a smoker and call them names?? I've said it before and I'll say it again....hate the smoking but not the smoker...hate the crime, love the criminal !! You've said it yourself, your mom was a smart, educated and very "aware" lady who knew all too well of the danger of smoking yet she didn't/couldn't quit...and I am very sorry for your loss and I mean that from the bottom of my heart , I truly do....but that alone should make one realize that all the bashing and preaching in the world simply does. not. work.... all it does is create bigger walls between the two camps, and it's quite unfortunate really because I believe the way to stop and prevent young people from ever starting to smoke in the first place is education, education, education....and more education...which amounts to prevention and that's what we have to work together on...we have to somehow find an EFFECTIVE way to prevent the next generation to repeat the same mistakes we did....but we have to it together....and the kids (and the adults ) will simply NOT listen if we just preach to them and shove it down their throats.....in my opinion, education and prevention, if gently administered, is our only chance to make this work.
Anyways , as a last word, I also just happen to work in healthcare and for the last 4 years I've been working in a Cardio/Pulmonary clinic....need I say more? I also worked ten years on an oncology ward and I know EXACTLY what cancer is and what it does....and yet I still smoke...of all my childhood stupidities, this is the only one that I carried over into adulthood and it is the one that will most probably be the end of me...no need to bash me, I do it daily...seriously my friend, there is no need, trust me on that one...
Love and peace  | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:46:33 PM | SweetSpuds, I hope you're still off the cigarettes. Good for you if you are!
Are you crazy to not want to be around a smoker? Heavens no! That's extremely smart. If you don't want to be bit by a snake don't go into a snake pit. If you don't want to smoke stay away from smokers. Period. You're health is worth more than anything. Make not smoking your a top priority until you have it conquered. And if you ever safely think you have it conquered you're just fooling yourself.
Take it from one who knows. I finally quit for good 6 years ago after so many attempts and relapses I lost count. I knew if I wanted to date I had to make dating a non-smoker a priority if I was going to stay a non-smoker. And I still stick to that 6 years later. The thought of kissing a smoker disgusts me to this day. So totally repulsive! | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 1:05:44 AM | | Personally, though I don't smoke, I like the smell of it (especially freshly lit cigarettes). Of course, I would never go out of my way to access smoke given the health risks. Not all non-smokers hate smokers. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 1:33:53 AM | | dont date smokers then...read their profile n stop moanin' | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:36:35 AM |
There is a difference between smoking and car driving and it is a huge difference. In our society, smoking is optional, driving a car is not. A car is needed by 95% of the people in our country in order to exist.
I disagree driving a car is an option to everyone just no one wants to walk 4 miles or ride a bike ..you can exist in this society without one..many people do. Its just like smoking the choice is yours if you do or if you don't.
I know people die from cancer some cancers not even related to cigarettes. Please don't take your anger out on people that have the same habit as the one that you think caused the cancer in your loved one. Do you help anyone even yourself in doing so? Does anger help your cause? No when you shove and push your views on other people and make them feel like they have to defend themselves they will keep doing what they are doing and probably do it more just to show you they can ...yes aren't we all so childish even though we are old.
So tell me what do you do thats going to kill you someday or someone else that someone loves? | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 5:35:13 AM | optomist you need to get down off your high horse,Im sorry you lost your mother,but i lost mine as well and she was never around smoke at all because I am the only one of my family who smokes and i didnt start smooking til about a year after she died of CANCER,I am not defending my right to smoke I am defending my right not to have jerks like you moaning about it with your bluetoothdevice stuck in your ear and your pda going full blast,heres the deal you don't like smokers ok fine thats your choice,stay away pleanty of non smoking places for you to go to,Leave those of us who smoke alone ,not defending smoking,I'm defending My right to be left the heck alone by politically correct jackasses | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 5:42:20 AM | Tall.......I guess if you don't want to have an intelligent discussion on the topic you don't have to come to this thread and be exposed to the thoughts and opinions of others. You don't have to be challenged by ideas and values that are different than yours.
The beauty of these forums is that we all have the right to express our opinions. You also have the right to disagree with them. What you do not have is the right to tell another poster that they cannot express their opinion. So, if you don't like what is being said you have two choices. One is to simply not read the thread that is making you angry. And the second is to contribute some cogent, logical and valid thoughts to the discussion rather than lowering yourself to simple arguing. It is your choice. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:28:18 AM | i smoke and i try not to date a non=smoker,most of the time there very rude about smoking,they dont understand we are hook on smoking and wish most of the time we didnt and most non-smokers have never smoke and does not understand how hard it is to quit and if i do quit it will be by my own choice | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:40:42 AM | Msgs 252 and 254...dont' think people aren't grateful when you all help to educate them...But like anything else, it's how that 'education' is given that makes a difference. Some people come off sounding sanctimonious, superior, and rude while others come off as concerned, informative, and caring. How one gets that education makes a big difference in how they act when receiving it. And I'm sure those dying of lung cancer who caught it from smoking, industrial carcinogens, and other ways are sorry they got it...but how does someone who never smoked then admit to making any kind of 'mistake'? So I wouldn't call it a 'mistake' under an circumstances. It's a choice and there are consequences to all choices.
I took care of my father who had lung cancer, so I know what that's like...and I didn't smoke around him at all...even though he didn't quit himself...the doctors said it wouldn't make any difference at that point, so why bother quitting. He already had tumors in his head, which completely went away with radiation; he never got sick with radiation or chemo; and he lived 8 months longer than they thought he would. And they said his cancer was more likely related to the dry cleaning chemicals he had been around all his life. Considering his father had smoked from age 9 and died at 91 of old age, and no other smoker in his family has anything...but many people he worked with in dry cleaning - smokers and non-smokers both - developed the same form of lung cancer, and it's shown that Perk is carcinogenic, draw your own conclusions. Smoking didn't help, but it also wasn't the only thing that may have caused my father's cancer.
Msg 256...I don't have children...and I can't live my life to please others. You cave-tube, not exactly a safer sport...what if you got severaly hurt or killed doing that? What about those who love and care about you? We all do things that may not be healthy; it's called living life as we choose to. BTW, I wasn't 'forced' to take my father in; besides the fact he had lived with me for the previous 12 years before he got sick, he's my father...family is there for, and takes care of, family. As I don't have kids of my own, I ensure that I'll be taken care of in the event something happens to me by saving money for it.
Msg 257...While I sympathize with your loss, your Mother had to make up her own mind on how to live her life. While there are numerous addictive substances, those who truly want to quit any of them can do so, with or without outside help...The most important factor in quitting an addictaion is the person themself *wanting* to quit. There's been health warnings on cigarettes for as long as I can remember; anyone who blames someone or something else for their own choice to smoke is not taking personal responsibility for their own choices. As for you, your frankly nasty comments about 'laughing in people's faces' makes you sound bitter and negative, which is harmful to your health and to those around you. I hope you can forgive your Mother someday and get rid of the negativity so you can have a healthier and happier life.
Msg 261...great post. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 3:12:09 PM | ahh relevant thoughts thoughts and discussions but since i disagree with your anti-smoking stance I am obviously of lower intelligence, tell me how is the weather in that perfect world you live in,you have never bothered to answer why it is that your opinion is the only intelligent one,you merely try to make other people feel like its wrong to disagree with you,optimist,so by all means let me bow to your superior politically correct agenda and not present an oposing opinion,the main reason i chose to post is not because i don't think smoking is bad for you,the reason i posted is you have NO RIGHT whatsoever to question someone's intelligence because they chose to disagree with the way you try to persecute others who don't live your perfect lifestyle,YOU HAVE JUDGED ME OPTIMIST and when you yourself are judged in return you resort to the same banal i didnt get my way whining that makes me sick to my stomach.Yes smoking is bad for you,but,some of us have the habit
and enjoy it,and as for the majority rules thing optimist its still a free country so you don't rule anything. and happy fishing to the rest | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 3:57:15 PM | | Does Chantix work? I dated a guy who took it and he said it did. But he still smoked. Only one or two a day, but I am curious about this. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 4:57:03 PM | | I am an occasional smoker......and I understand your choice especially after quitting. I occasionally smoke a pipe and 4 oz of tobacco lasts me about a year. I also enjoy an occasional cigar. Since they are expensive, I enjoy them about 6-8 times a year. My problem is with the people who are so selfrighteous about it. I have encountered people who would be tolerant of me smoking crack than they would my tobacco. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 6:04:56 PM | i myself quit smokin for two months dated a smoker he stank !
Instead of me dumpin him though i started again!
Its down to if u have the willpower cos if he smells of them it can be disguised!
im now back to smokkin 40 a day thanks to him lol x | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:04:38 PM | | awolf, yes Chantix works. I have several patients who were heavy smokers totally quit after using Chantix. It is a great med but expensive, some insurance companies will pay, others not, but it is the only smoking cessation med that I have seen good results from. It works in a very different way to all the other meds patches and gum. Chantix actually blocks the nicotine receptors in the brain, therefore lessening the cravings. If you take Chantix, you have to stop smoking after the first two weeks, then you go on a maintenence dose untill you have totally quit. It can and has been done. | |
|
Tramp
|
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 273 | |
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:07:45 PM | Let me ask you this: why do you want us to quit something we enjoy, no matter what?
Give it a rest. Preach something else. | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:25:52 PM | Tramp, of course you have the right to do something you enjoy, heck we all do. By the way, we are not preaching, just stating facts, I'm sorry if you and the other smokers on this post are offended by that, and you obviously are, as you are all in a defensive mode, trying hard to justify.........
Do you really enjoy inhaling all that nicotine, tar and carcinogens ?? Have you seen the black tar filled lungs of a smoker? Have you taken care of patients with chronic lung disease who cannot breathe, or the cancer patient who's lungs are full of tumors?
I guess not huh......... | |
|
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:34:13 PM | I quit smoking 5 years ago.
When i was a smoker, i had gf's that were smokers. we were young & foolish so it was all good. Also had non smoker gf's.
Now that i'm 37, i have a preference to date non smokers only because if it did get serious, i'd care enough for the person to stop and look after their health yet understand how hard it is to quit and how annoyed I used to get when i was asked to quit. If smoking is your thing, then I understand. I'm not looking to change anyone but myself & my dating standards.
 | |
|
Home
login 
