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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 6:58:10 PM | | OP, So you quit for 2 months, It does'nt make you a non smoker yet. We all try to quit, some do without for yrs, and still go back to it. I do hope you never smoke again, I wish I had a little more will power to quit. Its your choice not to date a smoker, as its mine to date either. Just don't be judgmental on others that still smoke. Nothing worse than a reformed smoker. Just my thoughts and mean no disrespect. | |
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greer
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Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 52 | |
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 7:03:50 PM | yup. that wine can make u room mates with paris hilton  sorry pardon the pun, im not a mean person  (bet i get some ones on my pics tonight) no more  tonight | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 7:04:09 PM | | Greer: I saw lots of statements but no questions.. help me | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 7:23:51 PM | I totally agree with you. As a smoker, I don't want to date anyone who doesn't want to date me. Not because I'm not attracted to you, but if that is a demand, then everything more important to you than that HAS to be a given, or you've got your priorities all screwed up, and headcases are not what I need.
I suppose dating married men is less important than smoking?
Cheats?
Wife beaters?
Drug takers? Cocaine? Heroin?
Drug dealers?
Alcoholics?
People with serious personality disorders that you cannot and will never be able to handle?
People who eat real unhealthy?
People who eat food with hydrogenated fats?
People who drink Coca-Cola? (It eats rust, even bleach can't do that).
No? Then, it's not a health issue, but a personal preference. If you don't like the taste of cigarettes, then how did you ever start?
In England, they are thinking of banning smokers from having life-saving operations. But no problem with people who eat loads of red meat, bunging up their arteries.
This is a fad. And if you are a sheep, then you're not for me.
But say you are into the healthy kick, and you eat all raw veggies, and run 3 miles a day, I get that. I'll probably give up, just to be healthy with you.
Only sheep date sheep. And I'm not a sheep. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 7:48:49 PM | | Good for you quitting! I hate smoking .. and I'm trying to quit. Chantix? I will have try. Tell him how you feel - if quitting is that important to you. If he's a good guy, he'll respect your choices. Who knows .. it may encourage him to quit too! If not .. well, it's probably not meant to be. It's going to bug you everytime you are with him. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 9:03:53 PM | For those that have quit smoking..HUGE KUDOS! Bravo!
It is a horridly addictive drug...the Industry has made certain that their tobacco product is addictive. VERY much so. Read the ingredients...the immense****ail of nasty chemicals. (You'd do just as well snorting the chemicals used on golf greens.)
Second-hand smoke is even worse for those in the same vicinity. Children, elderly, those with health issues...etc.
So, what is good about smoking? Anything? It is smelly, harmful, and addictive. And, passively, it negatively affects those who are close. And it kills.
Those who consider it "just a harmless personal habit" are not acknowledging it's negatives.
I fell deeply in love with a heavy smoker. I truly tried to deal with his habit and adapt. I really did try. And he tried, hard, to quit, or at the least, to not smoke around me. Didn't work. I loved him and assumed if I adapted to his habit we'd be OK. BUT...down the road, I started avoiding kissing....it turned me off. And it escalated.
AND..believe it, or not, with "oral"......it is quite interesting in the old saying..."you are what you eat/ingest"...it is really true! YIKES! It was NOT pleasant.
So..fast forward to a few dates with smokers...every single time I realized I was uncomfortable, and was not being true to myself or fair to them.
So now I am emphatic...I cannot, will not, date smokers. (pot?...different story..hehheh)
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 9:14:06 PM | I do smoke cigarettes ocasionally....Never ever been told I taste like an ash tray....But I do have a few comments .....
You said you quit smoking 2 months ago...How would you have felt when you did if a man broke it off because of that? I think I would have talked to him first and if he wasn't willing to try and quit, then yes by all means call it off....
Just remember how hard it was for you to quit...... | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 9:25:03 PM | OP
No, you are not crazy, being a heavy smoker myself, I wont even concider a non-smoker. It would become an issue waiting to happen. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 9:43:17 PM | Hmmm... Here's my experience on smoking and romance.
When I started dating my exhusband we were both smokers. One day I went to visit him and he told me he'd quit smoking. I was really mad about it! So I continued to smoke in his presence - even in his own apartment when he asked me not to. Looking back I can't believe I did that, but I looooooooooved smoking and didn't want him to change the smoking rules. Anyhow, he still managed to quit even with me around. He moved into my apartment and I continued to smoke, we got married, then I found out I was pregnant a few months later. So I quit smoking right then and there and never smoked again. My exhusband, on the other hand, started smoking again about 6 months later and still smokes. In case anyone is worried he always smokes outside - never near our son or near me. He's a conscientious smoker.
As for kissing him I didn't really mind that he tasted like an ashtray. Actually, I didn't really notice that he tasted like one.
So I guess what I'm saying is for my husband and I our smoking habits were individual phenomena. I can see how it might be hard for some people to keep off the cigs when dating a smoker, but for me I just figure quitting smoking is one of the great victories of my life and I don't want to go back. A smoking boyfriend isn't going to change that for me. | |
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smuroF
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Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:09:00 PM | Yada Yada, etc.....This is a fad. And if you are a sheep, then you're not for me.
But say you are into the healthy kick, and you eat all raw veggies, and run 3 miles a day, I get that. I'll probably give up, just to be healthy with you.
Only sheep date sheep. And I'm not a sheep
I love it !LOL! Date whoever you want...But Arm yourself with Lysol Bottles and Masks...Don't bother stocking shelves with canned goods and bottled Water, people!
Its really foolish to believe your exempt from Cancer, good health and being "smelly" if one smokes. If you live in a state as New Jersey,[I saidLIKE New Jersey!)..... or have an occupation as a truck Driver,Auto Mechanic,Fiberglass,work with any plastics,(esp.food wrap),Health worker,etc. etc. your probably doomed even if you don't smoke!
O my! We're all going to die Someday! Livin in a bubble or not!
I suppose they never should of got rid of "Smoking Sections" seperating these smelly people! Maybe You & your children would live longer!
*Greer
You are rude and Obnoxious!
Grits gives people gas
Euchre makes your teeh wicked green | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:12:23 PM | PANDORA"S BOX.......this subject sure is one. I say date & enjoy life with whom or what your comfortable with. People need to let us smokers be, If you dont wanna date a smoker...THEN DONT! we will quit when we're good & broke or dying of cancer. LOL! The tax dollars that pay for research, road improvements & soooo many other things should come out of non-smokers pockets & then maybe there wont be so much ****ing & going on about smokers. A big portion of the cigarette tax money goes for various things in every state & I am now paying a dollar more for a generic brand, what a rip I bet that's only 1 inch of black top & rest is in a politician's back pocket | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/8/2007 11:20:05 PM | Listen, I apologize for even bringing up this forum. BAD MOVE! All I wanted was a opinion. Not something that was going to turn into politics. It's already bad enough you can't smoke in restaurants no more or the bars. I am not knocking smokers at all. Like I said I do have friends who smoke. And we still hang out and they support me for quitting and say they are very happy for me and I give them courage. Like I said. I didn't have a problem with alcohol, but I do not like the smell of it and I can't stand a drunk. I smoked pot for many years. I do go to NA meetings and I am very proud of myself for beating the war on drugs. And I am very proud of myself now for giving up the cigarettes. And actually my parents may want something to do with me now. My mother despises cigarettes. And when I was around her I went outside to smoke. Cause she didn't like them. So I really do apologize for even bringing this forum up. I was not trying to make a issue out of this. I just gave my honest opinion here. And how I had felt. I have learned from being in recovery not to judge people. If something bothers you just stay away from it. No need to make a issue out of it. I don't judge people for smoking. Yes I miss it at times. But I love being able to breath again and not running out of breath every time I walk up stairs or read out loud. I do know that when I was smoking and I was on here. The men who were non-smokers didn't want nothing to do wit me. So I can see where they are coming from in away. But I am not one to judge. I just wanted to know am I crazy for feeling this way.  | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 12:08:10 AM | | Thank you for that reminder about not judging people who smoke. Yes I got a little judgmental towards smokers in general. There is a saying I learned from 12 step meetings. It says " People that judge don't matter and people that don't judge do matter." So thank you for that reminder. I did need to be reminded of this. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 4:59:00 AM |
Second-hand smoke is even worse for those in the same vicinity
Puhleeeeeze. . . . . At least google. The numbers aren't that hard to find.
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 6:28:10 AM | Yeah, smokers get a big "ick!" from me. A girl asked me out once who was a smoker. I flat out told her no way because of the smoking. This was back in High School and she started going on about how she would brush her teeth after every time she came back in from a smoke and would even change her clothes.
She was a bit nuts, though. :p | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 6:40:57 AM | Ok...googled as advised.
The following resources provide information about secondhand smoke and its health effects:
*Health Effects of Exposure to Environmental Tobacco Smoke: The Report of the California Environmental Protection Agency, published by the National Cancer Institute, provides a broad review of secondhand smoke covering the major health endpoints potentially associated with secondhand smoke exposure. It is available at http://cancercontrol.cancer.gov/tcrb/monographs/10/ on the Internet (4).
*The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General is a detailed review of the health effects resulting from nonsmoker exposure to secondhand smoke (7).
* The EPA publication Respiratory Health Effects of Passive Smoking (Also Known as Exposure to Secondhand Smoke or Environmental Tobacco Smoke–ETS) describes the EPA’s assessment of the respiratory health risks associated with exposure to secondhand smoke. It is available at http://cfpub2.epa.gov/ncea/cfm/recordisplay.cfm?deid=2835 on the Internet (6).
1–800–438–4318 (toll-free) (Indoor Air Quality Information Clearinghouse)
* The International Agency for Research on Cancer’s (IARC) Monographs on the Evaluation of Carcinogenic Risks to Humans publishes independent assessments of the carcinogenic risks posed to humans by a variety of agents, mixtures, and exposures . The IARC monograph Tobacco Smoke and Involuntary Smoking is available at http://monographs.iarc.fr/ENG/Monographs/vol83/volume83.pdf on the Internet. The IARC Web site can be found at http://www.iarc.fr/index.html on the Internet.
* The CDC’s Tobacco Information and Prevention Source (TIPS) Web site is the home page of the CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health. This site offers links to information about the prevention of tobacco use among youth, smoking cessation, and tobacco-related statistics. It is available at http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/ on the Internet.
E-mail: tobaccoinfo@cdc.gov
* The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) is responsible for health and safety regulations in the workplace. Secondhand smoke meets OSHA’s criteria for classification as a potential occupational carcinogen. More information is available on the OSHA Web site at http://www.osha.gov/ on the Internet. OSHA can be contacted at:
* The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) conducts research related to secondhand smoke, evaluates work sites for possible health hazards, and makes safety recommendations. NIOSH recommends that secondhand smoke be regarded as a potential occupational carcinogen and that exposures to secondhand smoke be reduced to the lowest possible levels. More information is available on the NIOSH Web site at http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/homepage.html on the Internet.
Selected References:
1. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Report on Carcinogens. 11th Edition. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Service, National Toxicology Program, 2005.
2. National Cancer Institute. Cancer Progress Report 2003. Public Health Service, National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2004.
3. International Agency for Research on Cancer (2002). Tobacco Smoke and Involuntary Smoking. Lyon, France. Retrieved August 25, 2004, from http://monographs.iarc.fr/ENG/Monographs/vol83/volume83.pdf.
4. National Cancer Institute. Smoking and Tobacco Control Monograph 10: Health Effects of Exposure to Environmental Tobacco Smoke. Bethesda, MD: National Cancer Institute, 1999.
5. Koh HK, Kannler C, Geller AC. Cancer prevention: Preventing tobacco-related cancers. In: DeVita VT Jr., Hellman S, Rosenberg SA, editors. Cancer: Principles and Practice of Oncology. Vol. 1 and 2. 6th ed. Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams and Wilkins, 2001.
6. U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Respiratory Health Effects of Passive Smoking (Also Known as Exposure to Secondhand Smoke or Environmental Tobacco Smoke--ETS). U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, 1992.
7. U.S. Surgeon General (2006). The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General . Rockville, MD: Public Health Service, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/sgr/sgr_2006/index.htm.
8.Reynolds P, Hurley S, Goldberg DE, et al. Active smoking, household passive smoking, and breast cancer: Evidence from the California Teachers Study. Journal of the National Cancer Institute 2004; 96(1):29–37.
9. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Healthy People 2010: Understanding and Improving Health. 2nd ed. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 2000.
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SaucyM
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 67 | |
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 9:55:22 AM | PANDORA"S BOX.......this subject sure is one. I say date & enjoy life with whom or what your comfortable with. People need to let us smokers be, If you dont wanna date a smoker...THEN DONT..... <<<<
That's the reason why I state clearly at the bottom of my profile that if you find my smoking "icky or disgusting" DO NOT contact me.... I actually had a person write to me claiming to be attracted when they clearly stated in their profile that dating a smoker was out of the question, how much they gag and that they couldnt care for someone who doesnt care for their health.... I brought this up to them and now they're trying to say that may be they were being too picky..... I DONT want any part of that.
I will quit when I'm good and ready or may be not at all, I certainly dont see it happening in the near future, smoking is my 1 vice, I dont drink and I dont do drugs, I eat healthy and exercise, hell you cant even get me to take a headache tablet, but I do smoke..... If a person cant see past that, that's their perogative...but it doesnt make me undeserving of an excellent relationship and the recipient of insults and verbal abuse.
Cheers, that was my .02cents...
~Saucy! | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 10:19:02 AM | I dont know - I think if you like someone
- you like them regardless of if they smoke or
if they drink a little too much- I think
its an excuse to tell yourself to justify your choice. thats all- you
either like someone or you dont- warts and all.
There are always breath mints and him smoking outside away
from you- | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 10:21:42 AM | OP you are not crazy.
As a recent ex-smoker you are just setting yourself up for a fall if you date a smoker.
As much as I want to quit I know I am only going to do it for me.
I will not get involved with an ex-smoker because I know it will be the issue that ends it. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 10:39:10 AM | | as someone who was disabled by a massive stroke at the age of 46 and told smoking was contributory i admire you(i had smoked for 30yrs so never knew it was so bad till i stopped, i hasten to say ive started again after going out with a 60 a day smoker, i know the risk and its not good stick to yur guns, its not worth it | |
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vinnyy
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Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 71 | |
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 11:04:15 AM | | You are by nature a week man,Why would you polute your health by choice ? You say if your around Ms. Right you would probably quit,what is wrong with you,can't you get the gumption up yourself to self motivate yourself to a healthy life style,or are you going to relying on people around you all your life to carry you ,and what happens when they leave you for whatever reason,are you going back to a life style on the least resistance.........Give your head a shake. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:48:01 PM | Been in and out of this thread and it definitely is a good one for conversation.
Like I stated earlier on in here I am presently dating a smoker and I said I would nevern date one. Truth is I am so happy I broke my rule, my excuse, my judgements and stopped limiting myself.
This smoking thing may become an issue casue I have health problems, he is very considerated doesn't smoke in the house or in my presence and this man definitely doesn't smell or taste like an ashtray...amazing how proper hygene can conquer all odors even smoking.
Today, earlier he mentioned whether he should feel guilty about smoking, I out right said NO. I chose to date u knowing u smoke I accept that is part of u. Funny how I almost missed out on an incrediable relationship/friendship because of my narrowminded believes. All smokers do not stink and neither do their homes if they are using proper tools to take care of these issues.
I am very thankful for all my friends smokers and non smokers alike...no more judgements from this gal, none, if u smoke u smoke if u don't u don't ...I accept u for who and what u are please, and I pray, u do the same for me.
fiesty | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:15:39 PM | I would ask yourself a few questions before you decide to throw in the towel, IF you like him and think he has potential.
1. Do you like him enough that you might be able to come to a compromise?
2. How often does he smoke?
3. Does he smoke in car, house etc.?
I consider myself an occasional smoker. I only smoke outside. I never smoke in cars, house, public places etc. And I don't "die", if I don't have one...lol
I dated a guy for 2 yrs who never smoked and didn't like it. He had no problem with my smoking since I never smelled liked it, tasted like it and didn't do it much around him.
If a person washes their hands, brushes their teeth or chews gum, doesn't smoke inside, they usually won't smell or taste like it. So you could ask him to limit his smoking around you and wash, brush etc.
If he is a chronic smoker, then I see no problem with you having a problem with it. It is your choice and we all have the right to choose what we want and are willing to compromise on.
If I met the "perfect" guy for me and it really bothered him, I would give it up completely for him. It would be a great thing for both. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 2:24:02 PM | | We should date someone who appeals to us, and if you feel you need to protect yourself against startin' up the habit again, then you do what you gotta do. You should confront this to your siggnificant other, and if he loves you enough, and knows how you feel about smoking, he should quit. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 6/9/2007 7:49:21 PM | | Absolutely refuse to. Most disgusting habit I have ever seen. | |
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