| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:39:29 PM | Everyone is entitled to a preference.
If someone refuses to date me/be my friend/exchange emails?
simply because I smoke, I care.... why?
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:45:42 AM | Oh heck....I like my ashtray licked....end of story....lol
I try to avoid dating non-smokers....and I get asked out a lot by non smokers.....but it is unfair to them for me to take time out for smoking...etc., and it will if not now, eventually become a negative focus. I don't need that in my life either......I was married to a smoker.....he quit.....and made my life totally miserable....throwing water on me if I'd light up....(okay..an abuser always finds cause).
At any rate....most things we know we cannot tolerate, but try to bend, will backfire.
The key to dating is to know what you are looking for and possibly know more of what you are NOT looking for...red flags...shake the dust from you feet and don't even get started....or ur playin with fire...your heart....and theirs.
Oh...btw....not to mention...smoking can cause a man to be ED....guess I best date the non smokers after all....lol.....Hugs to all the opininators....keep lickin | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/9/2007 9:12:53 AM | I gave them up in 1988. Ever since then I have dated lite smokers, heavy smokers (4 packs a day) and non smokers. I had made a promise to myself that I would give them up if they ever went over a dollar a pack. I kept that promise to myself. Haven't smoked a cigarette since. I also saw the handwriting on the wall involving smoking laws. I was truly an addict when I smoked!
On dating and living with a smoker everything involving smoking becomes a issue. In a restaurant she always wanted to sit in the smoking section. At events we barely spent any time together in our seats or at the table because she would be outside smoking. We even took a much more expensive flight one time so she would spend less time in the air and away from the demon weed! I'm not talking a few dollars here either! The house smelled like a bar and it took months after our breakup up for the smell to vacate. I tried so hard to tolerate it but felt I wasn't even being met half way. All I had asked is that cigarette smoking only take place on the first floor. The bedrooms upstairs were to be off limits. Even this could not happen and all my clothes and linens eventually smelled also. I've been to many homes where smoking does not take place inside period! Even smokers homes! I thought I was being reasonable with the downstairs only rule.
She was truly addicted to tobacco. Any attempts to give them up only went for a few days with a marginal amount of cheating. I'm so glad that I was able to kick this and stop smoking years ago. I'm convinced that today's smokers are slaves to tobacco as much as junkie is to heroin. With all that is known now it is amazing how many still smoke. The ladder just keeps getting pulled up on non-smokers also. Eventually it will be the law of the land that smoking will only take place within the realms of your own home and probably at $10 or more dollars a pack. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/9/2007 10:05:07 AM | | I don't smoke, and kissing smokers do taste like ashtrays, but they only taste like ashtrays shortly after having a smoke. My g/f is a smoker who has this annoying urge to kiss me after she has a smoke, but I refuse to kiss her until her breath is less revolting. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/11/2007 4:16:57 PM | I've tried dating smokers. I just can't stand the smell. It's just in everything...their hair, clothes, in the car. I can't even stay in the home of someone who smokes inside freely. It just gives me headaches.
I have a question....how can people afford to smoke these days. Better yet, why would they want to? Aside from the tremendous health risks, aren't they somewhere around $10 a pack? Someone smoking a pack a day could have saved enough money to visit an all inclusive resort after only 4 months.....I just don't get it. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/11/2007 4:20:17 PM | | I would stop smoking in a second, but I have alot of pride and am not a Quitter.. smokers joke ha ha | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:44:26 AM | I am not interested in dating or getting serious with a smoker. I have always been a non smoker.
Those of you who distract things on here by mentioning drinking and drugs or gambling......I don't do any of that stuff either. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:19:48 AM | | Wow, i'm finding more and more reasons why so many people have no luck on here. It seems that many are looking for perfection without any flexability. I personally only smoke once in a while but I felt I should be honest about that on my profile. I had no idea I was putting myself before a jury of people who obviously have no bad habits and no flaws. I guess I will have to change my preferences to "please don't contact me if you wear socks with sandals" or if you do hard labor because you will then have an odor as smokers do which we all know can't be cured with a shower. Date who you want since thats what we are all here for but why get so slanderous about those who do smoke. Sorry I just had to rant for a min on this subject because i'm seeing such mean and hateful responses. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:34:30 AM | | hi, i understand your dilemma about dating smokers, i`v had a similar experience recently when i dated a woman i met on this very website, i quit smoking 21 months ago, we met and i liked her immediately but she was a very heavy smoker but i tried to be polite about and told her it "didn`t matter" but it did, because when we kissed all i could taste and smell was cigarettes and it was revolting and she was a very nice lady otherwise, you know they say that 1 of the symptoms of quitting smoking is that you find the smell of other people smoking totally disgusting and i have to agree with them, i`m now searching for a non smoking lady to go on a date with. take care. greg.x. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 5:19:27 AM | 
Well said, twisted kitten.
I'm modifying my profile.
I've already stated to please wear a shirt on your main pic unless you're around a body of water.......it grosses me out.
As does the "bozo" hair
comb overs
long hair that appears to have "bed head"= left overs from the 60's
no back ground and only big, scary, distorted, faces
people who don't seem to know the difference between quite and quiet, here and hear, and the ones who don't know how to use the spell checker.
I'm thinking they are the same ones who never use their blinkers.
Please, I don't want to smell you before I see you.
Thrill me on the "first date" line.
Suggestion, use your imagination.
Simple, I smoke.
If you don't want to date a smoker do not look at me.
ceeceekitty  | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:32:22 AM | How insulting can one get...
drivel.................................
haven't heard that one for 30 years
do you think that insults and the like will help
us quit
hope you remain "perfect" forever
wouldn't want to alienate the "kids"
Polly
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:43:08 AM | | Maybe you shouldn't have "occasional smoker" in your profile....most smokers that see "occasional" think that you're a smoker but in a bit of denial. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:55:39 AM |
Why? Because smokers are cool. The smoking section in a restaurant is always the most fun. Non smoking bars are boring. On some level non smokers are jealous.... lol
Yea... keep telling yourself that. Perhaps you're not the smart man you claim to believe. I've never smoked, never will and believe me, on no level am I jealous of smokers. And I will not date a woman who smokes. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:00:35 AM | | In reply to this: "I know smoking is hard to quit. But I just refuse to be around a smoker cause I see what it does to me. Am I crazy for thinking like this?" NO, OP. YOU are wise to see the temptation and how it would defeat what you accomplished. Good for you. Stick to the goal and be glad for reversing any negative health affects. I have to avoid it, I got brochitis from it once. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:11:27 AM | fiestyangelisback ,,,,,, This is the most intelligent answer to this post i have read.. Good for you! Bravo fiesty.... As to the OP and some others here. What can i say except Forrest Gump says ,,, SHALLOW IS AS SHALLOW DOES... If you really like someone then you will help them to QUIT SMOKING by keeping them very busy in bed and extending love and understanding to them and givving them a reason to quit smoking. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:11:55 AM | No, I don't believe that you are crazy for wanting to date a non-smoker. It's basically up to the individual. Now as for me, I also am taking that Chantix, and I have tried quitting numerous times on my own. Chantix does work as long as you want it too, just like anything else. You have to want it for yourself, not for anyone else. I quit smoking 1 month ago, so what helps me is, I work with alot of people that smoke, and when we take our breaks and lunches, I don't stay with the smokers as before.....I now stay with the non-smokers. It's so much better breathing the cleaner air. When I was a smoker I was able to smell smoke on someone else that smoked and it was horrible, but now to go near them it is even worse, Phew! PU!!!!!
Good for you girl, Congratulations and keep up the good work! We can be one another's supporters if you want. As for your topic on dating smokers, it doesn't matter to me either way, as long as there is compatibility. I would just keep my distance and tell them it's their LIFE and not MINE. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:15:01 AM | I'm sorry TWISTED_ KITTEN. .. I missed your WONDERFUL RESPONCE... | |
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clay71
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 193 | |
| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:35:31 AM | I smoked for 10 years but could'nt tell you why? One day I just stopped. That was about 8 years ago.But smokers and smoke does'nt bother me,it's an individuals decision if that's what they choose.If smoking comes as a part of the package with someone I meet,then so be it.If they don't smoke so be it. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:51:53 AM | HI,
You are not in love with this man yet. Right? Get out before your heart is involved.
You can't get excited about a man you can't kiss. Kissing is a primary foundation for sexual excitement in my book.
I have this as one of my rules. If he smokes I don't date him.
I feel that smoking is enough of a reason to rule someone out as a date.
There are certain things you just know are not good for you, such as dating a married man (who is currently living with his wife).
Same goes for dating a smoker.
If you do fall in love with him it is highly likely you will start smoking again. Even if you don't start smoking again if you love him you will be concerned about his health and always wish he would quit. That is an unnessary burden for you to take on. There are plenty of good men out there who do not smoke.
As Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements) says don't hook up with someone you feel you have to change in any way. Find someone you like just as they are. The whole package.
You sound like a smart girl who is really weighing the risks and benefits of a relationship before just acting impulsively.
Getting input from others can be very beneficial. I go to counseling and get feedback from my friends about nearly every decision or situation I have in life. I am often not the brightest about things. I have a Master's Degree in Science but when it comes to everyday life
I need HELP!!
Congratulations on your willingness to listen to yourself and others.
SUSIE | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:01:42 AM | | If you don't like the smell, don't date a smoker. Pretty simple. Do what you enjoy. If you smoke once in awhile, okay by me. Just enjoy your life and choose to be around people that make you happy. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:12:45 AM | It's a shame that smokers feel they must attack people with harmless habits like a lack of fashion sense, a slight challenge with spelling (or typing), or other insignificant "quirks". Neither do smokers deserve to be attacked. However, it is a serious issue and having a preference to not date a smoker is NOT shallow, or mean, or inflexible. Like ALL addictions, an addiction to tobacco is a health concern and an issue that oftens determines the addict's schedule or activities. Who really wants to live their life around an addiction? Addiction also often indicates other problems that most people probably want to avoid. You're not totally in control if you "need" any particular substance that much and it is a legitimate concern for nonsmokers to have.
Yes, smokers are often really fun people. No one's taking that away from them (alcoholics and drug addicts can be really, really fun people too!) It doesn't make you a "bad" person just because you smoke. But no matter how fun they are, smokers don't tend to be fun to be around when they're smoking. Sure, it's a matter of preference or what one is used to, but that can't be changed really, and it isn't about tolerance when it involves physical discomfort.
Again, smokers don't deserve to be attacked. Beyond that, if you smoke, you need to be confident that you are making a good decision for yourself. If you are, then who cares what other people think!?! If you aren't, then please don't be so defensive. Maybe it would be more respectful to accept the opinions of the nonsmokers and acknowledge that many of their points are very valid. I think it's mainly such a heated subject because smokers can sometimes be a bit inconsiderate and nonsmokers can sometimes be a little offensive. Both sides get hurt and we lash out in anger and sarcasm (which is really only masked anger) and it doesn't change anything. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:25:52 AM | There are three reasons I will not date a smoker:
(1) My father died of emphysema as a result of smoking. For the last two years of his life, he walked around attached to an oxygen tank. I held his hand as he died, gasping for air. Going through that once was once too much.
(2) I have asthma.
(3) Kissing a smoker tastes NASTY, and if I can't enjoy kissing, well....need I say more ?!! | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:24:07 PM | Rut Roh! One more reason to give it up! Fido, Felix and Polly are in danger!!
" Secondhand Smoke Causes Cancer in Pets:
Andrea Thompson
LiveScience Staff Writer
LiveScience.comFri Aug 31, 1:00 PM ET
Secondhand smoke isn't just a health threat to people. It can also hurt dogs and cats, veterinarians say.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 126 million Americans who don't smoke are exposed to secondhand smoke in their homes, vehicles, workplaces, and public places. This exposure causes thousands of lung cancer and heart disease deaths among nonsmokers every year, according to the California Environmental Protection Agency.
Making the leap from the effects of secondhand smoke on humans to their effects on pets isn't a big one, says veterinarian Carolynn MacAllister of Oklahoma State University.
"There have been a number of scientific papers recently that have reported the significant health threat secondhand smoke poses to pets," MacAllister said. "Secondhand smoke has been associated with oral cancer and lymphoma in cats, lung and nasal cancer in dogs, as well as lung cancer in birds."
Mouth cancer in cats
MacAllister cited a study done by the Tufts College of Veterinary Medicine that showed that the number of cats living with mouth cancer (also known as squamous cell carcinoma) was higher for those living in homes with smokers than those who lived in smoke-free environments.
"One reason cats are so susceptible to secondhand smoke is because of their grooming habits," MacAllister said. "Cats constantly lick themselves while grooming, therefore they lick up the cancer-causing carcinogens that accumulate on their fur. This grooming behavior exposes the mucous membranes of their mouth to the cancer-causing carcinogens."
Cats living with smokers are also twice as likely to develop malignant lymphoma, a cancer that occurs in the lymph nodes and that is fatal to three out of four cats within 12 months of developing it.
Lung and nose cancer in dogs
Studies have also shown that dogs living in a smoking household are susceptible to cancers of the nose and sinus area, particularly if they are a long-nosed breed, because their noses have a greater surface area that is exposed to carcinogens and a greater area for them to accumulate. Dogs affected with nasal cancer normally don't survive for more than one year.
Short and medium-nosed dogs are more susceptible to lung cancer, "because their shorter nasal passage aren't as effective at accumulating the inhaled secondhand smoke carcinogens," MacAllister said. "This results in more carcinogens reaching the lungs."
Birds are also at risk for lung cancer, as well as pneumonia, because their respiratory systems are hypersensitive to any type of air pollutant.
To help prevent animals from being adversely affected by smoking, pet owners who smoke should have a designated smoking area that is separated from the home or stop smoking altogether, MacAllister said."
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:30:59 PM | | I just think if you meet, hit it off, why not keep seeing each other? But if it really truly bothers you, then maybe you did the right thing. I know lots of couples where only one smokes, and I guess they get used to it. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:32:59 PM | I am a smoker, Im with a smoker and a chewer.
I will probably die from smoking unless I get hit
by a car or die by an accident first.
My chances of dying from smoking as opposed to getting
in my Jeep and driving down the street are 50/50.
Im going to die and probably either way it will not be pretty
as death never is, at least the ones I have witnessed.
This is a debate that cannot be won on either side. We can all match
wits and insults and facts and studies and personal experience until
the cows come home.
The bottom line is - your given a choice and all choices should be respected.
curlygrl~ | |
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