| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:41:47 PM | I agree with you Twisted Kitten... I am a smoker. I don't smoke too much - but I do have consideration for non-smokers. I don't blow smoke in people's faces and I do brush my teeth. Gee, sometimes I even carry breath mints just for that special 'kiss' that may or may not happen.
You are so right when you say about the people who are 'flawless' and a 'jury' because we are not here to be judged. We are here to meet wonderful people and personally, even if I DIDN'T smoke, I would not be opposed to a smoker contacting me!
Come on people, judgements can be so harsh and if you are a non-smoker and don't 'LIKE' smokers, well, now, isn't that some sort of discrimiation??? God help us all.... | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 1:41:40 PM | There is a huge difference between personal preferences and discrimination! I prefer not to date smokers, which is no different than someone prefering to date blondes, or tall people etc........ Like so many things people on here disagree about this is all just a matter of personal preference.
The difference in this case is that being a smoker carries with it so many negative attributes that do not come with the other preferences. A smokers personal decision to smoke impacts not only the smoker but those around them in many negative ways. So in many ways preferring a nonsmoker over a smoker is a far more logical preference than say preferring blondes over brunettes. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 1:52:56 PM | | Nope, u NOT all all crazy....since when you hang with a smoker --no matter how nice, sexy, etc. he is----it gets to be 'when in Rome, do as the Romans' esp. with a cold beer or other drink in hand...BUT next thing you know, you are doing it more and more, then buying a pack, then another pack, and so on ...next thing you know, you are AGAIN a regular smoker...and suffering the physical and mental agony of nicotine withdrawl if/when you decide to stop them or him....ALONG with the accompanying 5-10lbs that usually goes with stopping.... | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:54:52 PM | | It's all about personal taste. If you find smoking that disgusting, of course you won't want to be around someone who smokes. I'm a smoker and just about every time I e-mail a non-smoking man on this site, I'd usually get a response along the lines of, "Wow you're cute, too bad you're a smoker." Funnily enough, I was cruising profiles one day, I came across someone who really stood out. From what I read, we had quite a bit in common, he was very attractive but alas, a non-smoker. So I just cruised by. The very next day, he e-mailed me because he noticed I'd checked out his profile and wanted to get to know me a little. SO...I guess you never really know. We've been talking via e-mail and phone for a couple of months now and we're finally meeting tomorrow! I guess after this experience I'm not sure what to think. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:10:05 PM | | There have been so many heated threads on this subject, although from what I have seen, the non-smokers out number the smokers in those forums and for very good reasons. I have dated smokers in the past, but it was not a pleasant experience, I felt like I was kissing an old ashtray, not to mention the smell of smoke on my hair and on my clothes!!! Would I date a smoker again? heck no!!! | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 7:20:04 AM | Yeah I'm also pretty insistant about the no smoking thing - about the most I'll put up with is "social" smoking, ie only lighting up if we go to a bar or a party or something like that... and I'm not even real fond of that.
Admittedly when I mark off "no smokers" on these dating sites it seems to literally reduce the number of "possible hits" by 60%+, but I'd rather deal with smaller odds than deal with dating somebody who's stinky :p | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 7:53:30 AM | Smoking is bad for everybody, there is no way around facts. Some of us are trying to quit, even though it is not an easy thing to do. But worth it. I used to smoke a pack a day - now it is a pack a week, and then never in my house, or any one else's. But I have to point out a few things here..can't resist.
One thing I detest is "beer breath" it literally makes me gag. But I don't see the option to lock out beer drinkers, for that matter I would not want to do that anyway. It is simply a matter of communication and tolerance. If I date a guy who likes beer, fine, but he will know not to approach me with a glint in his eye and beer on his breath! LOL People CAN brush their teeth and wash their hands after smoking - or a beer - or eating garlic! And don't tell me beer isn't bad for you - I've lost friends due to drinking and driving and yes it was beer! Not to mention the liver disease and nasty tempers etc... why such a double standard in society?
So, I think it is a personal choice to be totally closed off to people who might smoke - before discussing it with them (if there is an attraction) and seeing if there is a way to help them quit, or agree never to smoke around you or what ever works for each individual. But for those who block potential mates over a cigarette - ask yourself if there is any nasty habit you might have that others find offensive, and if you would be willing to change that habit for someone you are falling for? What is it worth to you to find the right mate? Or is everyone willing to accept second best because they are so closed minded?
p_angel  | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:03:27 AM | Way to put it Angel. I too am a smoker and there are a few interesting facts other than the one you stated that should be known.
Smoking increases your metabolism and improves concentration. It is also a way to relax.
Has anyone out there ever heard of death due to smoking and driving? Drinking and other drugs cause more deaths today than cigarettes.
Obesity is one of the leading causes of death in America today. Maybe if more people were smoking instead of eating, not so many would die.
The surgeon general says smoking cigarettes "may" be linked to cancer. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:04:36 AM | 
You are so right about beer breath, p_angel.
Out of the pores and the snoring......filled the room up with the nasty smell.
Several of my son's close friends were lost to car wrecks.
I also know many who've lost their careers due to drinking and driving.
Perfume/after shave/men's cologne...........to much makes me hurl and gives me a sick headache..............
And B O......and people who blow their nose at the durn table! Filthy buzzards.
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:15:28 AM | | Smoking only increases concentration when the addict gets his/her fix. When the addict CAN'T smoke, they're all nervous as hell, so starting smoking actually CAUSES people to be nervous. And it's fully documented that smoking...no "maybe"...causes lung cancer and heart disease. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:15:37 AM | I guess smoking must make you go blind or it interferes with your ability to read.
I DON'T smoke. I prefer NON smokers. I DON'T drink. I DON'T use or abuse any drugs of any kind. I DON'T use scented products. I eat healthy food. I am NOT obese. I DON'T always smell nice, but I am active.
There are MANY people who believe in that kind of lifestyle who participate on this site and in society.
These smokers just don't know when to quit putting their big foot in their mouth.
Edit: I just gave up soft drinks too so you cannot even say I am using caffeine. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:20:28 AM | well i quit smoking for 7 months now , just cold turkey no patches or other crutches. its going good as i rarely feel the need to think about cigs, at work im around smokers all day and it doesnt really bother me unless they come close to talk to me
i never realized tho when i smoked just exactly how horribly disgusting i smelled , now however i have been enlightened . when a gal at a bar who id ben havin a beer with went outside for a smoke and came back in and sat down , she bent over to gimme a kiss for some reason and the closer she got the more nauseated i got, by the time she had put her mouth near mine i almost felt like throwing up on her
this after smoking cigs for 25 yrs and i never realized it befre
i feel almost guilty for all those previous years and previous girlfriends who i subjected to my horrible stink and rotten lack of class .
i dont think brushing yur teeth or mouthwash will cover up the scent either, to be honest just quit and get it over with. you will be doing yourself and your partner a huge favor
the smell permeates your flesh and your whole body stinks of it, i guess yad have to b a non smoker to realize the scent
imagine you live in a city and have never been to a farm in your life, now imagine falling for a pig farmer who lived his whole life in a pig farm and the stink of the pig farm that permeates his clothing , his skin, his hair etc
now imagine leaning in for that first kiss.or even gettin in his pickup truck that stinks of pig farm .
this is just as horrible as smoking cigs and the scent is slightly less pungent but just as gross
when you quit i guess you get a lil enlightened , until then though denial of the smell and health issues seems to be the order of the day.
personally i dont feel any better after quitting smoking, i havent noticed any better energy or anything like that , but i do have better sense of smell and taste. i cant even truly enjoy the taste of coffee anymore either. no big loss tho lol orange juice and tea seem to have replaced my last favorite pastime lol | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:15:11 AM | As I said, smoking is BAD. Period. I never said it was healthy or anything else. I agree with many that there is a smell associated with cigs, because now that I only smoke occasionally, (on my way to quitting) I can't stand the smell of ashtrays. NOT the point! Point is - those who think they are above reproach because they don't smoke and bar any chance of meeting a potential because of it.
Those that play the "holier than thou" part that have OTHER nasty habits but don't seem to think that matters. Those that drink and drive, or do coke/crack/whatever and submit our kids and society to their paranoia, anger, and abuse. Where are the "warnings" in any singles profile options for those idiots? Judgmental people are close minded and blind. I would so rather meet a smoker who is willing to make the effort to quit, than meet a "non-smoker" who drinks and lies and cheats...but doesn't state that on their profile! This "prejudice" against smokers is as bad as or worse than any other. Smokers are not out to run down my kids or rob my parents house for drug money. You people need to get a grip on what is really important in life! Just my opinion.
P_angel | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:23:22 AM | | I'll stop smoking when they start putting high taxes on all the unhealthy items that cause obesity...twinkies, potato chips, soda, etc., rather than only on cigarettes, because the high cost of healthcare here is due in great part to obesity, not only cigarette smoking. If obesity is a disease, and alcohol addiction is a disease, then why isn't cigarette addiction considered a disease? Because most people know that it's a *choice*, just as drinking and overeating are. At least with smoking no one can kill another person because they were 'intoxicated' or 'under the influence' while behind the wheel of a car; and we can't smoke on planes anymore but we have to put up with scrunched accomodation because of the 400lb person in the seat next to us who's taking up way more than their share of the seating...yet there are many of us who are very considerate smokers - even in our own homes and cars. Frankly, I'd take a smoker anyday over someone who had alcohol, eating, gambling, or anger issues. JMO. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 11:00:43 AM | yeah.........
^^^^^^
what she said!!
"WITHOUT PREJUDICE"
I used to smoke a pack a week, now up to 2 per week..
- couldn't care less what anyone thinks..... my father died
of lung cancer (even after having quit for 15+ yrs), so
sorry to tell you those "holier than thou" ers are still not
out of the woods... but I would still wish you well.. NOT
TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL USELESS/STUPID/DUMB/LOOSER...
get a grip!
take a pill!
or whatever the saying is these days...
Paulette | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 12:03:54 PM | lol its so funny to watch people rant and whine because some peple find their habits offensive.
personally i dont drink or do drugs and now can happily say i dont smoke cigs either
i used to get offended and think that everyone was against me because i smoked and that it was my right to smoke when and wherever i wanted to
screw anyone who dared to think any other way
now i know better tho
personally i dont care if ya smoke ur head off in your own car or somewhere im not going to be. but dont try to stand above me and tell me i have no right to choose for myself if i want to kiss or make love to some wrinkly tar filled old bat . sorry i exercise my own freedom of choice and i opt out of doin anything with stinky dumb people that chose an unhealthy habit that they blame on society, cmon where do you people get off saying that youll quit when they tax fat people lmao thats gotta be the most inept concept ive ever heard haha. i know smoking is stupid but i really had no idea it made u stupid in the process
at least when i smoked i didnt have the illusion that it was my right or better than being fat
and to tell people they are acting holier than thou simply because they make their own choice on what they will accept and what they wont accept merely sinks the fact that smoking really does create stupidity , maybe the tar is floating into your brain. who do you think u are telling non smokers that they are being silly merely because they dont want to smell your cigarrettes or have the stink lingering on their clothes or bedding?
in this society since when is it the right of smokers only , to chose who they wanna date?
personally when they kicked smokers out of coffee shops , that was the death knell for me to quit smoking, that was my greatest enabler , i could sit there drink 5 pots of coffee and have a half pack of cigs on a cold winters day
its not the same doin it in my own home though
then they kicked me out of bars so i had to smoke on the street like a bum ,
another kick in my candy ass lol
eventually the allure of it all just went away
happily now my teeth dont look like baked beans and my breath no longer smells like a pigs ass
if you as a smoker choose to carry on being stinky and smelly thats your choice .
puff away i know it wont affect me so cheers | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 7:33:04 PM | ^^^^
Heh, great post. You summed up my feeling on this and were able to put it in words better than I could.
Smoking is disgusting, it's funny how the smokers don't get it. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 8:21:37 PM | I have to agree with you boats, smokers really just don't get it. They will continue to use every excuse in the book to try and justify their nasty habit. They could care less about the health risks to themselves and others around them that have to breathe in those toxic fumes!
They need a fix and they need it now!! | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/14/2007 8:38:53 PM | Well, I have something to say about that subject! I was a smoker for years. I met a man who I fell head over heels for many years ago. He told me, "I cannot stand the smell of cigarettes on a woman." That was all it took. I quit smoking and have never picked up a cigarette since.
But, guess what? He started smoking within a year of our meeting! So...........go figure!
Needless to say, I told him I could not stand the smell of cigarettes on a man! He is still smoking! What does that tell ya!
I no longer am in a relationship with this man for the obvious reason.
Blondeable | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/17/2007 10:48:42 AM | Hey sweetspuds
Whatever you do, DO NOT give in the the smoking thing, especially after having quit for only 2 months, your still very vulnerable! Believe me, it happened to me and I quit for 8 years!! For some reason, I was dating a heavy smoker, I ended up picking up the odd cigarette, then the odd cigarette led to one or 2, now Im hooked again and having to go through the same process of quitting all over again! Dont let yourself fall into that trap, its very tough to quit. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/17/2007 11:27:16 AM | Msg 216...everyone has habits or quirks that someone won't like...but it's how the person with the habits or quirks handles them that makes a difference to me. There are inconsiderate smokers and very considerate ones, just as there are considerate and inconsiderate:
- drinkers (sloppy, loud drunks vs those who don't get that way);
- perfume/cologne wearers (those that wear an appropriate amount and those that pour on so much you wonder if they're covering up not taking a shower)...and considering many of us are allergic to many perfumes/colognes, I'd say it's more dangerous for us than 2nd hand cigarette smoke is to many who aren't allergic to cigarette smoke, since our allergic reactions to these chemicals can be immediately life-threatening.
- eaters - overly obese people raise the cost of health care for every consumer; and when they raise kids who follow in their footstpes the cycle continues;
- speeders - not only do they rause insurance rates, they put other people's lives at risk by their reckless, negligent, and inconsiderate driving.
I could go on, but you get the point. I don't smoke around non-smokers in my car, in my house, or anywhere else, unless they say it doesn't bother them - and even then most times I don't do it because I don't want to with them there...if they don't smoke they shouldn't have to breathe in mine. I always sit in non-smoking areas when I'm out with people who are non-smokers. It's my choice to pollute my lungs with cigarette smoke...unlike the choice many companies make for us by polluting the air with their fumes from vehicles and manufacturing plants. When they start regulating other bad habits, then maybe it won't bother me...but the self-righteous attitude of some non-smokers against smoklers - and not against anything else that ruins one's health - is frankly a bit ridiculous, IMO.
Msg 218 - we don't have to 'justify' anything to anyone but ourselves...we considerate smokers, who don't smoke around non-smokers, are only 'hurting' ourselves. But, please, tell me how you justify polluting other people's lungs by driving your car every day? Or taking the bus or a taxi? And, while this doesn't appear to fit you personally, maybe since you're in the profession, you can explain why the majority of those in the health care business look to be in fairly bad health themselves? Not only have I seen many of them smoking and eating junk food, but they have high blood pressure, diabeties, heart problems and more because so many of them are out of shape and obese. Shouldn't they know better than anyone how bad things are for one's health and do all they can to avoide them so they're setting a good example? | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/17/2007 11:58:35 AM |
They could care less about the health risks to themselves and others around them that have to breathe in those toxic fumes!
Please google "the myth of second-hand smoke" -- might not do your attitude any good, but at least it'll make you an honest woman.
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:43:14 PM | If you don't want to date a smoker DON'T. I'm a non-smoker and I wouldn't. Quitting smoking is very difficult and you of all people should know that since you just quit. Although I don't think you thought this thread would turn so ugly. There are a couple of threads about smoking on this site that are very helpful to smokers, who would like to quit. Smokers and non-smokers are never gonna come together, on smoking so why even try to date.
To the above poster sorry the dangers of second hand smoke is no myth. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:57:26 PM | One report in a foriegn journal negates the volumes of reports/studies supporting the dangers of second hand smoke??? I don't think so, but it was a nice try. Or in this case......... Close but no cigar! 
The dangers of second hand smoke are very real. In fact, second hand smoke, or evironmental exposure may actually be dangerous to the innocent bystander than to the person doing the smoking. Think about it, the smoker is inhaling primarily filtered smoke. Much of what the innocent nonsmokers are breathing is the unfiltered smoke coming off of the lit end of the cigarette. This smoke is much more dangerous than the filtered smoke. | |
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| Dating a Smoker
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:08:50 PM | Yeah... well... wrap your lips around a tailpipe and see how that works out for you. | |
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