| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:29:44 PM | | For starters, consider running his user name through Google. Lots of times guys use the same name on different sites. You may be able to determine how many other dating sites he's on. I did this with a guy I recently went out with who claimed to be interested in a relationship. In about 20 seconds, I was able to learn that he was looking for group sex (he'd joined a swingers group) and he had left messages on a message board to a married woman looking for "relief". Also, you can look on a very popular adult site to see if he's a member. This guy and several others on this site were dumb enough to post their photos on there. Boy do I feel like a dope for thinking this guy was a good one! | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 12:18:40 AM | "For starters, consider running his user name through Google. Lots of times guys use the same name on different sites"
Hello!!! It could be a differetnt guy with the same username in the other sites. Hello, usernames are not copywritten in the www dating world of sites!
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As per the Sherlock Holmes "clue" "he is not replying to calls while he is with you", hello again, maybe because they are from work or clients or simply he thinks you are worth his undivided attention, god forbid!!!!
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Oh those amateur detectives! lol
It is not worth NOT being a player these "amateur detective" days (on a cost/benefit analysis). It is only ideology that justifies it. And Jobian patience. lol
Nick - "Colombo" | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 4:00:10 AM | Bigfootinct: Just change the gender on your post and you will have described a large amount of the female members on here.
That is certainly not a one-sided gender issue. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 4:50:43 AM | There are some of us that don't know how to play games. Don't really understand who is a player and what a player is.
No, I am not Andy from Mayberry
I would prefer to just put everything up front. A woman friend of mine didn't think it was a good idea, because being honest might scare most people away. It is kind of like having or not having your picture on your profile. She was worried about putting her picture on her profile for many reasons. Including men that she had typed with in the past.
Those men have not treated her well and one of them is threatening bodily harm.
Maybe there should be another section in the profile that would allow the rest of the story to be told. Each of us knows, that what we are, is what we are and that if others are mislead from the start, I creates a seed of doubt.
There also should be somewhere in this service that would allow folks to express bad things that are happening to them and if it is the same person doing the bad things - inform the police.
Right now the police have their hands tied and the person that thinks something bad will happen, is fearful of what might happen.
There are some of us that have been alone for a long time and would really like to get to interact with many people. So how about showing some compassion and at least let others know the true you up front. There are a lot of good people here and they just want to share some of their time with others.
Sorry to bother all of you with my thoughts. I hope life brings you , Health, Happiness and Safety.
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 4:58:59 AM | I agree with nick ,you can't go by user names, Google mine, it will show up with my forums posts ,plus some other guy that is being convicted with criminal charges, yikes... | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 9:20:43 AM | | Dreadstalker: bang on buddy....one of the main reasons why I just use this site for the forums - not worth my time otherwise. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 9:40:44 AM | "they don't want you to see anything on their computer"
You ladies will like this one! I met a guy from this site who seemed "different" to say the least. He traveled with his job and had asked me to meet him out of town several times. Each time I declined. Well, one weekend he must have been completey exhausted of options, because he agreed to come to where I live to meet and to take me out to dinner. I told him I had my reservations about him, and he reassured me with this statement, "I guarantee you that you will think I am one of the nicest guys you have ever met." I agreed to meet him. We had dinner together, and he was an absolute southern gentleman. He had arrived much later than we both had anticipated, and it took him about 2 hours longer than it should have, due to traffic. I stupidly asked him to spend the night, so he wouldn't have the long drive back at midnight. The southern gentleman disappeared once he found out he was spending the night. The next morning he used my computer to check out his emails. Well, he forgot to sign out; so after he left, I decided to read his emails. His response to one of the ladies that he was playing, from this site, stated, "I will be through your area in the near future. Please let me know how I can accommodate you" I suppose he fancies himself a self-proclaimed gigolo. I was an idiot for not decoding his language, but now I know what to look for. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 10:17:03 AM | ^^^^^I would just like to know what it is that you will look for next time? I really can't believe you let this guy stay at your place...this guy was a classic.
rules I live by; daytime dates only, no drinking ...until you know the person. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 12:56:13 PM | Re post 336
"You ladies will like this one!"
And us gents have a few comments to make!
"I met a guy from this site who seemed "different" to say the least."
Let us all analyse (or try to consider) what this "different" means.
"He traveled with his job and had asked me to meet him out of town several times."
Traveling salesman etc? Classic op for playboying! A GG in every city? Classic!
"Each time I declined"
Prudent
"Well, one weekend he must have been completey exhausted of options,"
When did the fellow poster reach that conclusion? It is the when that counts here!
"because he agreed to come to where I live to meet and to take me out to dinner"
Maybe his route included your location this time!
"I told him I had my reservations about him, and he reassured me with this statement, "I guarantee you that you will think I am one of the nicest guys you have ever met.""
Like the "check is in the mail", etc. What was the re-assuring part in his alleged "re-assunrance"? I fail to see the rationale? Maybe the fact that he was "different" helped his "case"?
"I agreed to meet him"
Based on what asuurances, again? Anyway!
"We had dinner together, and he was an absolute southern gentleman"
As in Ret Butler and the "frankly my dear ...." Gone with the wind?
"He had arrived much later than we both had anticipated, and it took him about 2 hours longer than it should have, due to traffic."
Works every time!
a) "I stupidly asked him to spend the night, so he wouldn't have the long drive back at midnight"
b) "The southern gentleman disappeared once he found out he was spending the night."
Now we gents are "lost" as to the sequence and rationale of events. What does the poster imply? Obviously not use of force, we presume.
"The next morning he used my computer to check out his emails. Well, he forgot to sign out; so after he left, I decided to read his emails. His response to one of the ladies that he was playing, from this site, stated, "I will be through your area in the near future. Please let me know how I can accommodate you" I suppose he fancies himself a self-proclaimed gigolo."
Was he paid? Because "gigolos" par definition are paid, ie male prostitutes. If he was not paid, he was a playboy or Casanona. Assuming consentual of course! If not he was a criminal.
"I was an idiot for not decoding his language, but now I know what to look for"
What did the poster expect when she apparently slept with him? An LTR? He razzled and duzzled his way at dinner and later "convinced" (or what is the word one is supposed to us HERE ladies???) the fellow poster to do whatever they did together!!!
This story shows IMO that two adults spent a night together and that to "convince" a woman to do that fist one must act like a Southern Gent and then like a young Richard Gere (or "American Pie" Stiffler)????
What was the game? Who were the players? What was the play of the game? And who was the MVP? There was no series, best of 7 eg, only a knock-out game, is that the problem?
What was the poster thiking a) when she told me to stay b) when the rest "happened"?
Was the night not pleasurable? Was something amiss that night?
Two adults had a pleasurable it seems one night stand.
Did the OP make any promises of more? When? What? Was "No" said at any point?
Why not assume that the guy is not a player, per se, but merely keeps his options open, a lot of options though?
What commitment or exclusivity mentioned at any time?
Did anyone "use" anyone else and who was that?
Why does "accomodate" mean "sex"?
Oh what a mess!!!! Gone with the Wind! "Love is in the air".
Where was the missed promise or commitment?
I do sound like a well known and esteemed fellow poster who usually asks these types of questions! | |
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faour
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 337 | |
| Was Exclusivity Mentioned at Any Time?
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:11:00 PM | Nick, I am not sure I know the well known and esteemed fellow poster about whom you speak, but must say that I share both of your views! Keep asking the pointed questions! Rock on, and keep speaking truth!
NICK FOR PRESIDENT! Paid for by the Nick for President Campaign Fund. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/13/2007 4:13:36 AM | | it is easy to see what someone is like....google him and you will see everywhere he has been on the web.......if his email address is silverlake323@yahoo.com...go to google and type in the search.."silverlake323@"...you will be surprized....everything that he has done(well, just about)....will pop up | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/13/2007 4:53:01 AM | I've just found this thread and I gotta say right up front this is a gender neutral issue. Its not only men, its gals too and couples too.
Personally I think that this has been overdiagnosed and cut up in too small pieces. There is no one answer for this phenonumen! I don't think that you can always identify someone as a player because he/she exhibits certain traits. That might just be his personality.
Ted Bundy and many others didn't look or act like they REALLY were. A REALLY good player may not ever become known to you. Yes I agree that there are predators/players on all sites BUT never forget
we are each responsible for ourselves. People 'allow' things to happen to them. I guess I feel strongly on this as I've passed 2/3 of my life span. Lots of stories, boohooos, joy, travel to the moon, etc.... If you fall for a player accept the responsibility, don't blame the predator. They know what they are doing because there are always victims around. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/13/2007 5:14:06 AM |
Well, he forgot to sign out; so after he left, I decided to read his emails.
And I bet you check out peoples medicine cabinets too. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/14/2007 12:51:56 PM | Maybe I should specify that he did not return the calls. However he did pick up the phone immediately (which he wears on his belt unless he's sleeping) and chk the #.
Yes we were together, living together 6 days a wk. The other 1 day he was with others.
I know because I caught him. On another site ... or sites I should say.
Good thing I didn't say "yes" when he proposed. He's still playing and in fact called this morning to see if I want to take a cruise to Jamaica with him. This is the fish that got away. I guess the grass is greener where you water it not on the "other side".
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/15/2007 12:06:41 PM | | Doesn't sound like the fish that got away. He sounds like a catch and release permanently and that he thinks he can blackmail you with trips or treats. 6 days out of 7 tho sure sounds almost okay. Maybe that is his day of rest. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/16/2007 8:55:54 PM | | There are so many men and ladies with fake profiles and pics on here.I am a very intelligent women and have been played several times.If the pic looks professional, good chance its a fake profile. These people are usually very good at their game.If you have talked several times on the phone, ask for a home phone, ask for more pics.Get as much personal information, ask away. If you truly have a good person, they will and should understand.Actually today I found out I was played by a man I thought was so sweet and loving. I was stupid to let my guard down. He was damn good. Wc chatted for hours and hours daily for two weeks being in different countries, planned to meet next week.. This man had one pic , he was away on business and sick,,,,I kept asking for more.Gave him 24 hours, I recieved a text this afternoon saying SORRY AND GOODBYE... these jerks dont care . It is such a sickening , numb feeling, that takes a long time to go away.. Im so glad Markus came up with the testimonal idea, its a start...My heart truly goes out to anyone of you who has been played..... | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:30:03 PM | | What I find difficult is the guy I am stuck on that said he wasn't seeing anyone else, but kept im'ing, emailing, texting, and probably meeting other women always turns up on my search. I think that I want to believe the best of everyone and still wish that he call unfortunately. I guess he always feels that the grass is greener elsewhere. I wonder if it is me or if it is any woman wouldn't be enough for him or in context of online player is anyone ever good enough for these guys/girls to stop the playing? | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 11/22/2007 1:23:17 PM | Its difficult to describe a player, as we are all on the site we are all playing a bit, simply because no-one wants to put all thier eggs in one basket.
Especially if you are looking for someone as a compatible long term partner. Im not talking about sleeping with anyone as more fool you if you get into bed with someone you know so little about, this is where a lot of guys are having a wail of a time as many women are so quick to sleep with them.
Intuition is very powerful and any uncomfortable feelings should be acknowledged as being something is wrong.
Hey girls we are famous for our intuition ...... listen to it !!! | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:42:13 PM | | I don't consider myself to be a player, but maybe I am mistaken. I email a very small number of women I am interested in. When I get a response from someone I like, I get to the phone stage quickly if she is willing. I am at the phone stage with two women max at any one time. Then, if I get to the meeting stage, and we both want a second date, I stop getting on the singles site to pursue this one woman exclusively. But until I get to that "second date" stage, I CONTINUE TO BROWSE POF (player??). I have gone through this complete cycle about once per year for the past 4 years. Sleeping with strangers or more than one woman is out of the question, I would be a nervous wreck, seriously worrying about diseases, etc!!! | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:46:29 PM | Get his name and run it through the county records where you live. Also use other resources like your appraisal district to make sure everything a person tells you checks out. Then meet and take it from there using your brain, not your heart... and see if this person is worthy of seeing again. Most of the time they will fall short somewhere and you will have to let them go... so you don't invite some unstable, confused or psychotic person into your life who has made a mess of their life.
County records will tell you if they have judgements, assumed names, marriages, divorces, evictions, debt and much more. Use your public records BEFORE meeting someone. Players are often ( not always) unstable people who use and feed off others and you will pick up clues if you do your homework. Using all your resources including your brain, you can weed out most all players and use your time to meet people who are better choices.
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That is precisely why one should NEVER give out personal information to anyone on the net, including personal phone numbers. In this age of identity theft and stalkers, the last thing you want is some psycho tracking where you live and obtain all your personal information. Just because someone give s you a cell phone # doesn't make them a player. It could mean he's just smart enough to know not to give out a home number. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:43:46 PM | | This is also a good tip with offline guys you meet too. I recently broke up from a 12month on and off relationship. It ended in him attacking me through alcohol. I consider myself to be lucking to alive. He had a track record!! I would like to know how do i get to look through county records please. Thank you for your time . | |
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