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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:26:53 PM | | I can't help you there because I am not a player, but I am reading into these posts to find out the clues myself because I am sure women players are no different lol , good question blonde.... | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:35:05 AM | Online players always have the next conquest in mind; hence, they are distracted when interacting with you.
On the other hand, be careful not to judge too quickly.
I am not active on any dating sites (that I remember), including this one. I do have a blog, however, with friends. A new interest became jealous of who was landing on my blog and their comments. I was accused of being an "internet whore", because I reminded her of someone else. The truth was, I never left flirtatious comments myself on anyone's page, even hers.
We met in person. I got on a plane and went a third of the way across the country to do this. We had a great weekend. When I get back I get the questions again about what so and so is doing on my blog page. And I had made a non-flirtatious comment to another "friend", who happened to be female, and who I had known for over a year, about nothing and I was accused of everything in the book. Finally she ends by saying she trusts nobody, not woman or man, and that it is probably unfair to start a relationship when this is how she is. Yeah, no kidding.
The last 36 hours I was SCREAMED at over the phone and called f-ing this and f-ing that. I hadn't so much as had a dinner date since last August, and now I know why. Online is dangerous, even in a blog network thing where you can see and read what the other person's life is like. I read, I saw, I was wrong.
So just beware of anything online. ' ' | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:18:45 AM | gone, viola and cinn girl: i feel exactly the same way as you all, tho i have come to this conclusion more recently. i agree, gone, that you shouldn't judge too quickly, but i am also at a point now where i feel as tho, at least the men in my age group who are active here and on other personals sites, are really a wily and whacky and downright weird bunch. i feel as tho i cannot count on a single thing that is said actually turning out to be true and i am afraid of things like what happened to you (oh my, how awful!) happening to me.
indeed, things like that HAVE happened to me: spend a beautiful weekend with the guy (yes, he was from out of town als) followed by being screamed at and insulted by him the day after he left because i was washing a cup while talking to him on the phone! (can anyone say 'freak'? OMG! -- i was suddenly remembering that film with julia roberts where she placed the bathroom towels on the rack crookedly and he beat the hell out of her! yikes!  ).
anyhow it's a crazy weird world and after a year and a half i do believe i have had more than enough of it...
ciao all!   | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 79 | |
| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:21:40 AM | Ahh the same posters in yet again another"player" thread.....There is a total suprise.
Do the same people ever get tired of posting in the exact same kind of threads over and over and over again. Yet say the are not male bashers.
I know i wrote something else then edited it without changing all the words. Thanks , i always think i am going to run out of time in editing so i tend to take short cuts sometimes.
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a1na2
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 80 | |
| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:33:45 AM | Well, the female " players " are the ones who are on a zillion people's favorites lists, look like they just finished a sports illustrated photo shoot, and have been on here for forever, and yet they say they're "looking" - now THAT is my idea of CO-ME-DY !!!
P.S. to TDH...GRAMMAR POLICE : it's " DO the same people..." not " DOES " | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:04:55 AM | | Actually... all men are players..they like to scope the field and keep playing the field until they think they have the best looking woman they can possibly get with their looks and charisma. Always wanting something a little better, someone a littler sexier. It's in their nature to be the best and go for the best. It's an ego thing. Who has the best looking wife, who has the most money, who drives the nicest car, it's a way how a man judges himself against another man. Only time a man will settle down is if A. he's forced too (pregnancy) B. He thinks he's topped out on the hottie list, or C. He's been playing the game so long it's backfired and now he's willing to settle down with anyone that will put up with him and cook him dinner. Those are the most common. Then there's that fourth one not many people ever see, and not really discussed between men unless he's like your best friend and you're drunk together. D. He finds everything about her cute and sexy. All the way to the way she walks, to the way she'll scratch his back for him when it's time to go to bed. And to a man, that's love. Someone who is his alter-ego. His better side. She knows how to let him think he's in control while she's keeping his a** in check. And when a man is in love, he doesn't actually know it till it's too late and he's f*cked. It takes a while for a man to actually "fall in love" But when a man actually does fall in love, he's yours and no one can take him away. His eyes glaze over and he's like a zombie to the rest of the world because he has this grin that just won't go away. So to cut this short LOL... They're all players until they're forced to not be a player anymore. ....(this is what a guy told me when I asked why men have to be players) | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:14:29 AM | There are some pretty blatant on-line players...just check out this web site
http://icanhascheezburger.com/tag/player/ | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 3:36:02 PM | | Don't be afraid to talk on the phone quickly and actually meet in person, somewhere open and safe of course.........the players won't come out from behind the curtain to talk or be seen. | |
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lfrs
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Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 85 | |
| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:17:38 PM | Hmmmmmmmmmm......this has been an education......
Sometimes, when you get a chance, check out www.everybodysdreamgirl.com
This woman used another dating site, and began to notice trends, then started creating characters, Also created a Network, of which I was a participant... 
It was mostly done in Fun and trying to watch out for another person.........there is Nothing wrong with checking someone out........it's SAFE.......
Players? Both Sexes.........such a shame, too, because some people can fall so quickly on the internet.........have seen it happen more than once....most times, the end was sad, cruel, and totally unnecessary.....don't want to do that, and don't anyone to do that to me.........
What's would be the point??????????
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:25:18 PM | "Actually... all men are players.."
Right.
Whatever the fellow poster thinks!!
If that is true, then it takes 2 to play, does it not?
Nuff said. No more BS, time to move on to an MS, then a PhD.
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:46:20 PM | | Go with your instincts and trust your intuition, someone who is distracted while chatting, won't tell you much about themselves, makes excuses not to meet you in person but continues to chat, mixes you up with another person, chances are the players will not leave the computer. A player in real life after meeting pretty much the same, makes themselves unavailable won't give you a phone number, or tell you where they live this could be a sign of married players...it's kinda sad that men and women do this, for all they know they could be missing out on something great rather than hopping around from person to person hoping they can get as many on their hook as they can probably mostly for ego purposes but it does happen. | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:08:08 PM | Well I agree with you, i just put some women in place of men in the words you used...
All this really is are people who have a rotation of screws.... lol.. seriously it is so easy to get them to admit they are playeretts and there will be a rise in sexually transmitted diseases cause its like candy in a store, i can look at a photo and tell what kind of person she is, and after chatting through IM and phone and see a pattern, it makes me think they are very nasty and i wouldnt touch some of these women with Bill CLinton's @#@#%# lol..... Im considering going back to the old fashioned meet women at the mall routine, but.... you have to make sure they dont date online...  | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:23:24 PM | Words I live by:
You can’t be played if you’re not in that game.
You'd be wrong. But I hope you never have to find out.
Another name for players is sociopaths, and they do exist. And they're very very good at what they do. Again, I hope you never have to find out.
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:04:18 AM | This is in relation to my post above. my apologies for posting in such a manner.
Get his name and run it through the county records where you live. Also use other resources like your appraisal district to make sure everything a person tells you checks out. Then meet and take it from there using your brain, not your heart... and see if this person is worthy of seeing again. Most of the time they will fall short somewhere and you will have to let them go... so you don't invite some unstable, confused or psychotic person into your life who has made a mess of their life.
County records will tell you if they have judgements, assumed names, marriages, divorces, evictions, debt and much more. Use your public records BEFORE meeting someone. Players are often ( not always) unstable people who use and feed off others and you will pick up clues if you do your homework. Using all your resources including your brain, you can weed out players.
This is a bit off topic. But don't any of you feel having this much information about yourself accessible by anyone a bit disturbing?
Surely this is a good way for people to mine information and subsequently steal ones identity?
As for comments about players etc I work for myself travel a lot internationally plus nationally. So in this respect does this make me a player?
Try not to be too bitter about life as it is way too short.
Now don't forget to smile.
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/15/2007 9:29:01 AM |
Actually... all men are players..they like to scope the field and keep playing the field until they think they have the best looking woman they can possibly get with their looks and charisma. Always wanting something a little better, someone a littler sexier. It's in their nature to be the best and go for the best. It's an ego thing. Who has the best looking wife, who has the most money, who drives the nicest car, it's a way how a man judges himself against another man. Only time a man will settle down is if A. he's forced too (pregnancy) B. He thinks he's topped out on the hottie list, or C. He's been playing the game so long it's backfired and now he's willing to settle down with anyone that will put up with him and cook him dinner. Those are the most common. Then there's that fourth one not many people ever see, and not really discussed between men unless he's like your best friend and you're drunk together. D. He finds everything about her cute and sexy. ...
blah blah blah...
you know what, pretty redhead? i think you couldn't be more wrong.
of course there are some men who are jerks.
and there are some women who are jerks.
but to cast all men in the same awful ugly mold as you have done?
well that's just wrong...
there are many many very good men who do not think like this, who do not act like this, who are not shallow...
yes, there are a lot of men in online personals who fit this kind of mold, but to say that this applies to ALL men?
nah. that's just downright wrong...
and by the way, pretty is spelled "p r e t t y". two t's! ????
(why is it that people cannot even seem to spell their own screennames correctly?! sheesh!! ) | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:01:35 PM | | After reading many comments on this subject I would like to say this. Men or woman can be "players" it does work both ways... bad boys and bad girls. Also its wonderful if you can meet them in person... but that is NO guarantee they are not playing you and others to get what they want. I have a few men in person from online. You can tell the ones that are sincere and the ones that just want to go to bed. If they really like you and are into you.. you will go out on dates with them, you will spend time going to the beach or parks talking and getting to know each other. On the other hand the others will say sweet things to you and seem to be falling for you.. then once you fall for it and sleeep with them the nice words from phone conversations, emails or texts seem to disappear and they want to see you when they can and for their own needs. If a man wants sex with you or anyone else he can play it up anyway he wants to.... I know some who use the cover of being a spiritual person, others a family man. They come in all forms!! | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:39:03 AM | I happen to like my screen name.. you dont have to look at it and make fun of it geez!! *looks at the topic* hmmm its not asking about screennames...its talking about players... if you wanna talk about my screenname...move it on to another topic..ill be glad to explain why i have 1 T
and like i said.. i asked a guy about why men r players...and that was what he told me..Im not bashing men..I know women do it too.... it never hurts to ask right?Have a good day  | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/16/2007 10:15:49 AM | I think, whats really interesting, is that virtually every description of a "he" online player also applies to the "she" online players. They (the players) come from both sides in equal numbers and there are a lot more decent people on here than there are players.
Personally, I find it best to just not invest a lot of time in emails, chats and phone calls... if you are interested get to the face-2-face as quickly as possible and make it something simple like a cup of coffee. Besides, why invest a lot of time with someone just to find there is no chemistry?
Cheers everyone!
Phil | |
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| Turns out Merf dear...
Posted: 6/16/2007 11:41:04 AM | ok, makes sense. so for instance if a player (who plays many women online and uses them all for his advantage - or attempts to!) - if one of the women then turns round and says to him "oh you're not the only person i chat to online, I talk to others too" - and then he goes quiet and gets quite annoyed about it, and goes in a huff that she's chatting to other men - ohhhh but its ok for him to talk to all his women and meet up with them for what he can get out of them for one night only - but if one of those women - who by the way HASNT slept with him, but continues to chat and feels a lot for him and is building up a friendship in her mind with him, well why does the guy get p'd off that she chats to other guys too, or dates someone? 
if he cant be bothered to make any effort, is all keen to begin with, declaring how much he wants her and thinks about her, but then starts disappearing once she shows her feelings and only chats to her when he feels like it, blows hot and cold if she starts emailing or IM'ing him and starts to ignore her messages, then surely its ok for her to date who she likes?? What's good for the goose...... | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/17/2007 12:45:27 PM | Well, Merf, yes, thanks. There are people who are just certifiable. Male or female.
I did take a chance after not doing anything, not having one date, since August 2006.
I did so because I had read her blog posts and she mine, and we had talked for weeks.
The one thing I did ignore is that even prior to our meeting I was getting the third degree about any women I happened to interact with on my blog page. We are talking a blog page, not a singles site, and my comments were not flirtatous at all. Somehow they were turned into that. And god forbid someone leave a comment like a generic "hugs". That was my fault too, even though those "hugs" went out to sixty other people, male and female.
Geeze!
So this was the last time I will ever do anything with anybody online. Period. Amen. The sad thing is that so many people now in the real world on in the "virtual" world too.
I am content now to just work, be with my family, and forever put the idea of dating and a relationship out of my head.
Some have said all men are players and some have argued that both sexes are players. I think that if that is the attitude going in, then the person with that attitude should not be trolling themselves for anybody, because they might get that "non player" and suddenly find that their world that they have spent so much time building is wrong.
My friend just "talked" with me today. She wanted to know why I don't want to continue on in a relationship with her, this after being called SCREAMED every name in the "f-ing" book. And being told by her just moments prior that she resents me. I said that nothing I say to her will ever convince her that I am honest. You can't resent someone one moment and want to be a couple the next. So she screamed some more, told me to f-off, underlined that she is a true "victim" and that I will be faced with the biggest
loss of my life.
It is obvious she is angry at the world, and hardly a conversation took place that didn't involve her "beating the crap" out of someone or threatening them.
Wow, I'm off topic here, but you can see that not all are players. (Hey, you can believe me or not, I'm never looking for a date on this site or another.)
Be careful is all. Careful because you might be tossing the real one overboard with the sharks.
Sad.
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/17/2007 1:32:10 PM |
I am content now to just work, be with my family, and forever put the idea of dating and a relationship out of my head.
well, gone, i hear ya, but don't you feel you have taken this a bit far here? just because it doesn't work for you (and me) to meet people thru online personals, that surely doesn't mean that we should write off (completely) the possibility of a relationship at all! i certainly haven't done that! and who knows, i might meet somebody online who's cool, it's just that i am no longer doing that actively.
as you also said:
It is obvious she is angry at the world, and hardly a conversation took place that didn't involve her "beating the crap" out of someone or threatening them.
that answers the problem right there: the problem was her, not you. so, don't let her issues effect you so much, and the kinds of choices you make. she sounds like she has some really deep issues and that's obviously not about you. i have myself, recently, dealt with a situation where i have felt the guy i was talking to was just really unbalanced, perhaps even manic. so, believe me, i KNOW how hard this is, and how very frustrating it can be...
there are a lot of players, and there are a lot of unbalanced desperately unhappy or angry people... and that is why i am finding this way of meeting people just too taxing. but, i am not giving up my search for love, just going about it differently. so, please don't give up for good either because of one (very) bad apple!
anyhow, all the best to you, gone!   | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:29:40 PM | Merf, thanks for the good wishes.
But yes, I am really out of the dating and relationship thing.
I had a good love once; it lasted a lot of years, and maybe that's all I get.
I'm happy.
Much happier than dealing with crazy people. Not ALL are crazy, I do know.
In fact, most are quite normal.
It's just that I have become such a bad judge of character I do not trust myself.
I wish you luck in your search, and all those out here sincerely looking, online and off. '' | |
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| Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:49:42 PM | I know we have through this but can someone give me a one maybe two line definition of a "Player"?
Every time I hear this term I think women scorned. Is a Predator and a Player the same?
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