| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 7:01:52 AM | wel, i am 18!
and i thnk that if a girl doesnt feel comfortable with losing her virginity, no matter what age she is, then she shouldnt let her peers or her current boyfriend force her to do anything she doesnt want to do!
yes ill admit, some people dont think a relationship can work without having sex, but that is their opinion, you have to do whats right for you, and nobody else.
i think that with you still being a virgin and being 30 is very cool!!
most people regret losing their virginity when they have sex for the first time.
your just waiting for the right person to come around and i think that is in spiring.
emma xxxxxxxxxxxx
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 7:07:27 AM | She should wait as long as it takes for her to feel comfortable.
She should also realize that after the first date, a typical guy is only going to wait about 5-7 weeks after that before he cuts her loose.
There are women out there who only want attention and free dinners and want to waste a guy's time and emotions. Not just a few women, a lot of them. Most men can't differentiate the ones with honest intentions and ones that just want free lobster. And men know at some point, if you wait too long, sex is never going to happen period.
Men are expected to pay for most, if not all, of the first few dates. It can get pretty expensive. This is a hard reality for women to face but men want a return on their dollar. Not sex per se but the idea of being told directly and honestly where you stand with the girl so you know whether to move on or not. Of course most women won't do that until the very last minute because they often like the attention too much.
If men can't wait, it's because most women are essentially liars about their intentions. If more women just came direct and honest about their intentions, men would be willing to wait more. Instead men get used over and over (and this is not to say women never get used, they get used too and that sucks equally) and usually use the three date or two month rule regarding sex. | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 7:37:19 AM |
i think that with you still being a virgin and being 30 is very cool!! 
when I read the OP's profile, it indicated that she has kids. I kinda doubt that she's a virgin | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 8:35:08 AM | | Five hours of together time. What that means, first date lasted one hour, second date went for dinner and drinks, three hours, third date dinner at my place, got the the fifth hour. Space them in one, two, three or five dates. Still 5 hours. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 8:58:48 AM | 2 pages and no answer....thats becasue there is no answer for this quesiton.
There have been two pages of them, and it's all personal and opinion so there is no one answer, though all the answers here are valid.
I dont think ALL men want sex straight away. I tend to find the ones who do- not becasue im trying may I add!!
You get what you put out there and choose, no two ways about that.
a typical guy is only going to wait about 5-7 weeks after that before he cuts her loose.
Too funny ............... btw there isn't such a thing as "typical".
Men are expected to pay for most, if not all, of the first few dates.
I and most women I know disagree.
This is a hard reality for women to face but men want a return on their dollar.
Then your dating is not dating, it's prostitution.
Communicating honestly is being a respectful human being, not something you buy from some one ......
You really need to chill out, get over being used and have more self respect so it doesn't happen again by choosing to hang out with more honest people. | |
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ck4u
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 9:43:33 AM | | Personally speaking...at least 3 months...it weeds out the guys who are looking to just %^&$ as opposed to the guy who is really serious with you. BUT then if you're looking for a casual "buddy" u'd probably know once u both get together... | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:15:52 PM | You only got this -
This is a hard reality for women to face but men want a return on their dollar.
From all of this -
Men are expected to pay for most, if not all, of the first few dates. It can get pretty expensive. This is a hard reality for women to face but men want a return on their dollar. Not sex per se but the idea of being told directly and honestly where you stand with the girl so you know whether to move on or not. Of course most women won't do that until the very last minute because they often like the attention too much.
Thanks for taking away all the context and making it mean whatever you wanted it to mean. Might have done you better to wait for the thread to go on for another two or three pages before you edited me down to suit your needs.
I said men want the truth. It's not that hard. Do you like me? Do you want to date me further? Are you interested in getting intimate at some point? No where did I say this was required on the very first date, but most men take the bulk of expense on most of the initial dates out there. This is just how the courting and dating process works in the modern world. Feel free to argue it. In fact, start a thread on it, see how many guys pony up the first few dates compared to the meager few you'll be able to round up who get treated and wined and dine so often by women.
Did I say sex was expected? Did I say sex was required? But thanks again for editing me down to fit your needs. I just said the truth was expected for a guy to take the expense , and not just money, but time and effort and the loss of enjoyment/opportunity cost of just doing something else.
Then your dating is not dating, it's prostitution.
Communicating honestly is being a respectful human being, not something you buy from some one ......
You really need to chill out, get over being used and have more self respect so it doesn't happen again by choosing to hang out with more honest people.
Prostitution happens when you give money for sex. Where did I say that?
WHERE DID I SAY THAT GENIUS?
You talk about communication and it's importance and you can't even read one post of mine, a few paragraphs, without showing any small shred of basic reading comprehension.
Being a "respectful" date is to also be clear and open and direct about where you stand with the person. Whether its time to cut each other loose so you both can save time and effort and money and emotions. If most women can't be bothered to share a little "truth" and "honesty" then what exactly does that do for this "communication"? Seriously, do you just go around reading posts on this forum and decide which parts you want to hear? All I'm asking for is direct and honest communication. But most guys know women just don't do that. They rarely say what they mean. They often don't know what they want. They talk in circles. They don't get to the point. When asked directly, many are at a loss for words in how they really feel or what they want. Of course they have a hard time, women are driven by emotions, they are emotional creatures. Men are driven by logical thinking and just want the straight answer. There are no free lunches in life. You don't get something for nothing in life. And I think men desiring the direct truth about where they stand after a few dates is asking for a VERY SMALL RETURN on what they are putting into the date. More than anything, it's just common decency not to waste people's time.
But hey, I wanted to say thanks for telling me I need more "Self Respect" BECAUSE YOU APPARENTLY CAN'T DO SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS READING A FORUM POST AND COMPREHENDING IT WITHOUT MAKING UP WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT IT'S REAL MEANING.
Great job of showing everyone an example of the basic building blocks of communication.
Also thank you for starting a personal attack on me instead of the point I was making. That's also a wonderful example of how to behave to elicit true "communication" out there in the real world. | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:22:05 PM |
with a guy shes dating so he doesn't get the wrong idea about her being a slut? Like, I don't mean to ask such a lame question. What do guys really think. I mean I know they want it right away. Doesn't it turn a guy off from a serious relationship if she does it right away?
If 2 people have been talking in email, and then on the phone, for hours at a time, and have developed a lot of sexual tension, then meet, there's chemistry, and so they make love, that's allowing things to develop naturally.
If you meet a woman in a bar, talk to her for 5 minutes, take her home, screw her brains out, and don't remember her name, then that's something else.
It's not about gender, really. Sometimes, it's within the context of exploring a relationship, and sometimes it's just sex. If it's just sex, and that's what both want, what difference does it make if it will lead to a "relationship"? If it's about exploring a relationship, the surest way to kill it in the early stages, is to impose some silly notion from the 19th century about women "supposed" to be the "guardians of purity". We live in a time and age of equal opportunity, and I know, for me, that I admire women, who are in touch with their needs, and unconcerned about meaningless things like "what others would think". If she wants to, and is "into" the guy, and he's into her, why not? | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 63 | |
| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 7:01:27 PM | Thanks for taking away all the context and making it mean whatever you wanted it to mean. Might have done you better to wait for the thread to go on for another two or three pages before you edited me down to suit your needs.
Just here in case you missed your own words : "return on their dollar."
This question is about sex and the wait for it, not being honest, you don't pay for that it's how you choose to treat people and let them treat you, unless you like liars, then the whole thing is pointless. You are talking about the guys always paying and then wanting their "return on their dollar" and then their expectations met. Once again .... the question is about waiting for sex not honesty, which has to do with comfort.
If the question was "How long should I wait to be honest, or how much dose a guy have to spend before I disclose my feelings" that would be different.
As for comments on the truth, you have just paraphrased me ......
Communicating honestly is being a respectful human being, not something you buy from some one ......
And that has nothing to do with money.
Also thank you for starting a personal attack on me instead of the point I was making. That's also a wonderful example of how to behave to elicit true "communication" out there in the real world.
On what you said yes, as for attacks that you are creating on me trying to defend yourself because I called you on it, that’s all. That you need to go to those lengths to try and attack me when I don’t care less opposed to clarifying, ignoring or re-answering says it all really. Let alone shouting, and on a dating forum as well ....
If most women can't be bothered to share a little "truth" and "honesty" then what exactly does that do for this "communication"?
Most women ? ..... I think you need to deal with that, let alone all the other degrading assumptions you make about "most" women there.
Seriously, do you just go around reading posts on this forum and decide which parts you want to hear?
Oh nicely ironic that you try to accuse me of exactly what you do yourself, of course I don't and I have many people who message me thanking me for my posts.
Also thank you for starting a personal attack on me instead of the point I was making.
Good luck dealing with that anger, your going to need it.
Once again ....... Chill out, though I dare say your past that, I'd get some help before a women you meet who doesn’t do what you expect, and the you explode on her like this .....
I'd try sticking to the point or debating it, i.e. Mine being that there should be no expectation or assumption that because you pay you "deserve" anything or that you can go around expecting and then get angry on someone who doesn't or someone else who calls you on it. Though if you give to receive then that wouldn't make sense.
Valium cookie for you.
until you are of legal age in your state.
Before or after birthday candles are blown out :P | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 7:04:10 PM |
wel, i am 18!
and i thnk that if a girl doesnt feel comfortable with losing her virginity, no matter what age she is, then she shouldnt let her peers or her current boyfriend force her to do anything she doesnt want to do!
18, never married, no children...and on top of that a virgin, is a VERY different situation than most on POF. At your age, and situation, the ideal is to wait until after marriage.
My earlier comments, and most of the comments on this thread, are about "post divorce" dating. | |
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vyda20
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Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 65 | |
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vyda20
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Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 66 | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:23:02 AM | | Everyone is different but for me if a women jumps in the sack on the first date I dont think to myself oh I'm so special obviously she never does this with others or before thats just egocentric. So you know what your getting and I'm not surprised if she's in the sack with another if things get rough. I'm not judging I'm only stating that the person is that way and dont expect or think that I'm that unique and so great that I would be the only one that she would do this with. Also for some sex is a way to control or at least they have the illusion that they are controlling another possible low selfworth issues. | |
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libbyv
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Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 68 | |
| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:27:36 AM | People should wait a few months at least. Get to know each other more. Some people have sex too fast,... there is nothing wrong with waiting and seeing if the person is even worth it...
Some people rush it and then have regrets later. I don't want to have any regrets about a person that I choose to become friends with and posssibly date.. | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:34:42 PM |
for me if a women jumps in the sack on the first date I dont think to myself oh I'm so special obviously she never does this with others or before thats just egocentric. So you know what your getting and I'm not surprised if she's in the sack with another if things get rough.
Then you don't really believe in, or expect to find, a "grand passion and great love". It can, and does happen, that when you find the "she" that you're "he" has really been seeking, that irresistable feelings come over both of you, that it would be unnatural to resist.
In general, if it's just "run of the mill dating", I would "expect" to be true for her, what's true for me. I have a sexual history, and she will too. If we sleep together, it's either "meaningful" in a way that we both sense, or merely recreational, and we'd both sense that too. To set "rules" in advance of meeting and knowing what chemistry exists, merely makes the difficult process of dating become impossibly hard. | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 10/16/2007 5:14:51 AM | About 6 years. Toys are better anyways! Relationships always head downhill after sex because there is really nothing the guy is looking forward to, no more "mystery".javascript:smilie(' ') | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 11/7/2007 12:48:25 AM | "This is a hard reality for women to face but men want a return on their dollar. "
"Then your dating is not dating, it's prostitution."
Thats an interesting thought. I have long thought that dates are a form of prostitution in which gifts are exchanged for sex instead of money.
Is there really a difference between.... Cooking someone a nice dinner and showing them around town and getting laid for it vs paying money for sex?
Both result in the exchange of energy. The energy is just represented in two different ways.
Though my honest oppinion is that there is no such thing as dating someone and NOT using them. Whether one uses them for sex or simply for good conversation. The morality lay in equal reciprocation and willing informed participation.
Some may have more romantic views of relationships, but to me the very best relationship is one with a good friend. A good friend you just happen to have sex with.
I myself have a very high sex drive. Though I restrained myself from having sex for quite a while. But, with most women, if you are not trying to get in their pants or at least expressing a desire to have sex with them... They will leave you.
On a last note... I have a lot of female friends. Always have. And it has come to my attention that the only thing a "relationship" can offer me that my friendships cannot is sex.
The romantic part of me wishes this was not true. But I find that what is ideolistic is often false. | |
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| how long should a girl wait before having sex
Posted: 11/7/2007 3:46:10 AM | OP, it's usually a good idea to wait until you are somewhere private.
Trying to have sex right away when you meet someone could get very uncomfortable for anyone else in the area. | |
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