| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:52:35 AM | Dating is dating.
Online dating is different in terms of numbers, ability to lie, how seriously some take it, and in terms of rules....well...
Let me put it this way: I've posted my rules in the past, and was berated for doing it.
A lot of people lie in their profiles.
A lot of people are dishonest about what they want.
For a woman...write men! Or don't complain if you don't get what you want...or anything at all for that matter... | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 10:35:51 AM | I'll just answer your questions .. my opinion
1) Rules are things you have yourself , no one else's rules matters except you s/o
2) Always confused with on line dating, there's always things in there profile which are not true.
3)I have no problem asking a guy out on a date .. wtf .. if you don't ask you dont know .
4)I am always my self , why be any body else ,your fooling your self , love yourself .
5) as for rules i have some , but they are my rules .I dont date married men, and i would like a phone call the next day , after bonking all night.LOL
6)I don't think we will ever know what men are thinking but lets hope when we ask a SIMPLE question we will get an answer, but what is a simple question.....
Rules and guidelines are what each of you decide. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:34:48 AM | I'm going to add to this a bit.
Be honest. Pleaaase be honest. It may not be pleasant always but damn, liars never prosper at this. Sooner or later you will get found out for it.
Put up an honest, current picture and profile info. Not knowing what you're looking for is one thing, mislead me as to what I'm looking AT is another.
Honest is something I can do, even if it's bad honest I might consider it. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:44:05 AM | Only one rule;
Carry out your own dead.
Cindy O | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/12/2007 12:24:56 PM | | Be safe and listen to that little voice that picks up on how well (or badly) it's going. Don't be pressured to do anything under any circumstances. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/12/2007 1:14:43 PM |
Do you think there should be rules to dating?
Here is one of many rules/techniques I use. I dont like the word "rules", but rather techniques.
If I make initial contact with someone and they dont write back, I never send a follow up email... I just move on. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/12/2007 1:32:17 PM | For example: Should a girl ask the guy out after chatting for a while?
If she wants to, why shouldn't she?
Who should inititate contact?
It doesn't matter.
Do you think it should be an individual thing and just BE yourself, and if they don't like it, lump it?
Be yourself, who else do you want to be? It will come out eventually anyway. If they don't like you, move on, someone is bound to like you for who you are.
Do you think there should be rules to dating?
Ir depends on the two people involved, the boundaries set toegether.
Do you think you should be able to ask a simple question and get a simple answer rather than wondering what they are actually thinking?
Always. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/12/2007 2:49:36 PM | there are many gurus out there, each with their own set of 'rules' of how they THINK the GAME 'SHOULD' be played in order to win whatever their true game is. (there is the stated game and then there is the real or hidden game)
criteria
norms
standards
benchmarks
timelines
symbols
patterns
codes
filtering out
filtering in
sifting the flour
sifting the dirt
panning for gold
its best to make up your own rules of what you will and will not accept in a dating partner.
you also might want to set up some a gameplan for meeting lots of people. then a gameplan for interviewing guys one at a time, and a gameplan for the actual relationship if you choose a person you like. make sure they are realistic and reasonable and moving you closer to where you want to be. you must have your master plan in mind well before you begin any of this. what is it that you want for your life? how do you want your life to be? what kind of person do you want to settle down with? these are part of your masterplan.
then you work on acheiving that goal. making it a reality. you have to find someone who's masterplan is compatible with yours...whom you also find attractive, and would want to be with forever. someone who who want to share this vision of life with you. must be supportive of and wanting the same or compatible vision. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:27:49 AM | If you feel you want to take the initiative,because you really like a guy then do it(the two of you could be sitting saying I really like this person,but want them to make the first move DOH!)
Ok then...
what if you did do that and they bolted ?? only to come back as a good friend and with added benifits ?? now do you sit back and wait ??
not to bitten twice ??
let him make that dession is how I feel ... its his turn ...you did your part
I dont have rules but I do ask for respect and comunication
and to the ppl who say you lie in your profile ...well you may be shocked to know not all of us do
me being one
I have nothing to hide
I be myself
I love myself
I work hard to get what I want
and if that means staying single then so be it
companionship is better then nothing at all | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:14:56 PM | Oddly enough I was wondering just this question recently. In my younger days, I was one of the lucky ones. I met someone great through family and all of a sudden we had been together for a good number of years. We just ended up together and were content and on went my favourite parts of a relationship - cooking together, going to the movies, being each other's "life" cheerleaders, spending time with each other's families, him preparing me a hot bath just because he knew I had had a long day - me preparing him coffee/tea just the way he liked it before work, moments of passionate discussion or silence were normal parts of the equation - not shameful or utterly embarassing, etc, etc. It remains though that for all the excitement that comes along with dating (and there is lots!!!), on some days dating feels like learning how to please the "Soup Natzi" on Seinfeld. No soup for you! You don't know what "it" is but some people get their "soup" (relationship) and some don't - and you keep on trying tomorrow because someday it will be your turn! Maybe Elaine could tell us what's in those recipes. 
Rules on dating... Well, no matter how many good discussions you have over weeks prior to meeting a guy in person, no matter how good the chemistry feels and how much class he shows in telling you that :
- he likes your personality (a good thing),
- feels like you share so many values/interests in common (a good thing),
- told family that you were about to meet because he is close to them (a good thing),
- is looking forward to introducing you to his friends (a good thing),
- tells you that he enjoys his time with you, etc....
DO NOT LET IT HAVE AN IMPACT ON YOU no matter how much you want that soup, er, relationship! The minute he knows that it is having an impact on you - it's most likely going to be over. AND NO...I UNFORTUNATLY HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW MANY WEEKS, MONTHS, MILESTONES A WOMAN NEEDS TO WAIT UNTIL SHE CAN SAFELY TELL HIM THAT SHE APPRECIATES HIS COMPANY...but someday, I will have my bowl, hehe !!!! | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:27:33 PM | | My rules are everyone who is dating should be single. Not married, and not seperated. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/15/2007 3:38:01 PM | I wish there were rules, like saying "Please" and "Thank you". Imagine if someone thought that f*** off was the correct way of thanking someone for doing them a favour! Not many favours for him.
My only rules are:
1) to be polite and courteous to everyone, and
2) to "be nice to those who are nice to you, and to those who are not nice to you, to be "not nice".
Apart from those 2, I'm not sure I have any.
But there are plenty of people who will give you advice on what to do to get a date.
The golden rule seems to be:
1) If you are very attractive and female, expect to have to ignore loads of emails and IMs.
2) If you are otherwise female, expect to have to write a few emails.
3) If you are male, expect to write a LOT of emails to get one or two replies.
4) Expect most people to jerk you around, at whatever stage of the dating phenomenon.
This is why I'm in the process of designing my own Stepford Wife. I figure it'll be quicker than online dating. Other than that, I'm here for the forums. It's my best source of humour. Some days, POF threads really crack me up!
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:22:41 PM | Scorpio, I love reading your posts. You make my day | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:40:59 PM | Rule #1 - There are no rules for dating.
Rule #2 - See Rule #1
Seriously though.
The main rule. Condoms are like guns.
It is better to have one and not need it than to need it and not have one. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:24:15 PM | | The rules exist to stop me screwing up and ending up with something that will not work in the long run. Or sometimes the short. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:34:41 PM | | There are no rules to anything in life and rules are meant to be challenged because we're all individual as to what we think is appropriate. In the world of dating...I think you just need to let the chips fall where they may...hopefully one will come your way | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:46:20 PM | Are you referring to the rules in general or your own personal values? As far as my own personal values, well... I dont want to decieve women into thinking that I want to be exclusive if I don't. In other words, if I'm seeing more than one woman, I don't want them to think I am tied down to them.
Now dating rules are garbage. The whole "act disinterested, don't call until three days after getting the number, be a jerk most of the time and extremely sweet occasionally".... dam all that. If you like the person, you should be able to let them know and if they think it seems desperate or whatever, charge them to the game and keep it moving. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/17/2007 12:26:56 AM | There are lots of rules.
[Men]
- Keep it positive. No negativity.
- Don't talk about your ex-girlfriend
- Keep it in your pants.
- Keep your eyes off her chest.
[Woman]
- No swearing
- Don't take offense to complements.
- Don't talk about your ex boyfriend
- Don't order the most expensive item on the menu
But yeah, the most important rule I can recommend for both parties is "do not be shy." Being shy will stop any form of relationship advancement. Just because time moves forward doesn't mean that you will advance with it. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/17/2007 1:53:31 AM | I searched online for the phrase "relationship advice" and found some very useful information to practice. You might like to give that a try.
If you want to know what I found then email me as I am not advertising for anybody but enjoy sharing information that would help someone who is willing to learn.
Agree with these 3 guys quotes:
erm1956
Like everything else if the attention is wanted, it's cute; if not it's stalking.
Swagabond
Guys like the chase, when girls make themselves overly available or get into stalk mode, the chase factor goes down and we want you less and eventually lose interest.
tonicxt
"do not be shy." Being shy will stop any form of relationship advancement.
Just because time moves forward doesn't mean that you will advance with it.
As a female I feel the same way about males, nobody wants a stalker. Please search online for the definition if you are concerned that your behavior is crossing that line as it is so unattractive. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:11:43 AM | I've just re-established contact with an old friend of 4 1/2 years we stopped seeing each other before christmas 2004 cause of her mother disapproving of us seeing each other every sunday or saturday, we talked on the phone for 1/2 hour tonight cause i called her new home number cause shes living on her own to check and see how shes doing 
Surely enough half way through the conversation she asked me to come to a Apex Club meeting next week i was really surprised and im getting the feeling now shes living on her own she is most likely considering asking me over for dinner one night although thats abit far off  | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:39:25 AM | | i tend to agree as peeps on here feel that your going to pop out at their screen | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:40:52 AM | | the res no point in talking about the first date when no one talks on here | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/18/2007 6:43:30 AM | | when peeps on here talk in the first place to get to know some one then your then the rules get activated no point in running before you can walk | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/19/2007 5:45:57 PM | A couple of my friends and I have been Internet dating for several months, and have noticed some behavior patterns. One in particular is worth mentioning.
Alien abductions happen all the time.
Say you've been talking to this great guy for a while, and you're really establishing a connection. You two arrange a time and a place to meet and then... *poof*. He disappears. Maybe he stands you up, or maybe he just stops calling, stops writing, and maybe even pulls down his profile. Maybe he was abducted by aliens. It's easier to laugh it off if you think of it that way.
Personally, I think what's happening is that it's easier to disappear than tell someone about any misgivings they might be feeling, any anxiety, or if they're just not interested. I don't know anybody who likes giving another person bad news.
So - when your date is abducted by aliens, try not to take it personally. Chances are it has more to do with their own issues than you anyway. Just laugh it off. I do. Those darn aliens are ruining my lovelife. | |
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| Dating rules
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:32:36 PM | I dont think i'd follow the keep yr eyes off her chest rule cause my friend who invited me to an Apex Club meeting next week she has a nice chest and set of you know whats that arent big or small but the right size  | |
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