| why dont people reply?
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:18:42 AM | True...very true "sweetmuchlikechocolate" ! But I guess it's just the principal of it .... replying is a nice gesture. I don't take it personally either... why should I  But in reality, It doesn't take much to reply to a message...whether one is interested or not! Just me and my view on this...."again"
C68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:16:27 PM | | I agree that it is good to be polite. I sometimes dont reply right away to see how someone will react,, sounds crazy I know.. but for me it had a purpose, which would be if they write again and sound all psychotic lol then well there ya go,, if they dont act nuts I may email them back.. turns out there are a few nuts here lol | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 8/30/2007 6:44:34 PM | Well I so agree that there are a few "NUTS" and they are definitely not the salted ones...they are the "FRESH" ones ...LMFAO ! Oh my....one has got to be so careful what they do or don't do and gotta keep an eye out for the "nuts"....
C68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 8/31/2007 11:03:54 AM | | ok well you don't reply to someone you who wrote to you. So how do you get to know them before you decide thery not for you? I though this was the place to get to know people and maybe more, but if your not willing to give some a chance or I sould say get to know them. Not everybody is a nut. I think we compare people here by the bad ones which is a shame. Anyway what do we know about anyone until we find out. | |
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dog2k6
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Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 30 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 9/4/2007 3:59:41 AM | LOL.... sometimes by looking at someone's profile you can tell they are so NOT for you...lol.. I may not always respond but I always check out the profile... as for getting to know someone I have to have an initial interest in order to even want to get to know them.. and there are lots of guys here that I do respond to whether or not I want to get to know them on a romantic basis or not and have become good chat buddies at the least! At the same time I have tried to contact a handful of people that did not respond... I do not take it personally or dwell on it...lol
P.S. sometimes you can tell that someone is nuts without having to get to know them..lol.. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 9/4/2007 7:52:33 AM | I have told people I am not interested in them, this almost always generates one of the following replies:
1. They demand to know why I am not interested. The classic line is "but you haven't even bothered to get to know me so how can you say you won't like me?"
2. They accuse me of being superficial "Oh, well you must be one of those ***holes who only likes super skinny girls..."
3. They insult me. Usually I get called a jerk or something along those lines.
4. They accuse me of being stuck up or full or myself or whatever.
Yeah well we all know that it sucks to be rejected. If somebody doesn't reply to your message then you know they are not interested. What difference does it make if they reply or not when the end result is the same? Do people really believe that actually reading a message saying a person is not interested is any less discouraging or depressing that simply not getting a reply? It has been my experience that it isn't.
This whole thread is simply sour grapes. It gives a forum for people to lash out at those who have rejected them. There are a lot of good reasons not to answer certain emails, try to put yourselves in the other persons shoes. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:13:35 AM | It seems to be a no-win situation for some. If you reply and don't say what they want to hear.. they get p1ssy. If you don't reply ....they get p1ssy. Either way somebody is getting p1ssy over a 3 second message on an internet dating site.
Replys:
I always reply to a message...unless it is rude or obscene. Those get deleted and user gets blocked. I don't have time for cyber trash.
If I reply and they get p1ssy, then I simply delete the message...I don't feel obligated to defend my personal choices.If they persist, the block user is again a very useful tool.
First Contact:
When I send a message and get no reply it speaks volumes to me . It says that the person who couldn't manage a simple polite thank you isn't anyone I really want to get to know anyway. It saves me from wasting more of my time on them.
If they answer with a short and somewhat curt reply that leaves no opportunity to be carried forward, that also says alot. It says they were polite enough to reply but do not wish it to continue. Again, saves me from wasting my time or their's.
If they reply with a nasty "p1ss-off" type response...that just shows a total lack of respect for anyone else's feelings. Why would anyone want to pursue a conversation with someone that behaves so rudely?.
So in reality, it is a win-win situation...manners or lack of as displayed in their behaviour, weeds out those who aren't worth your time. Make a mental note and move on.
I actually had one man who didn't bother to reply to my initial contact message, just showed Read/Deleted... about 6 weeeks later he messages me .. hey .. saw your profile.. very interesting..may I say you look younger than your age.....
lol.. I was tempted to Read/ Delete him but I didn't . I replied and explained that I was not interested in his opinion of me or my profile. He was obviously too busy to bother 6 weeks earlier.. and I was too busy now. That was about 16 months ago and he is still trolling these waters...so I guess I wasn't the only one to pass him up. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 9/4/2007 1:56:37 PM | It also depends upon the kind of message. There are people who send out dozens if not hundreds of "Hi hows it going?" Messages to whatever single person they find in the hopes that somebody will reply. I ignore those messages.
On the other hand, if I get a thoughtful original message, one that actually indicates that the person read my profile. Well then I always reply. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 9/4/2007 9:35:37 PM | | well you don't know eveything about a person from a profile. Is not the site for that or least try to find that rigth someone and by the way I don't take it personally or dwell on it...lol. Got better things to do. Anyways there are more fish in the sea and trust me it's a big ocean. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:40:37 PM | hey guys!
I understand that people don't want to reply, and I think it's within their right not to. There could be many reasons for a person not to reply. Maybe they get a lot of emails on a daily basis (not me, obviously :P), maybe they're busy... or maybe they just don't feel like it - I mean, you messaged them, why should they have to message every person that sends them a msg,... maybe it dind't catch their eye. Whatever the reason, i don't think people should become so attached to the idea of sending messages. I send a lot of messages each week, but it's rare that I hear from anyone. Now of course it is a bit disheartening, BUT I don't blame the people I message for not replying, I usually blame myself for not presenting myself in an accepatble light, or just tell myself it isn't working out right now.
Don't blame others for not replying, in a way that's like waving at a stranger when you walk down the street and expecting them to wave back. It's up to them to wave, not you. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 11/18/2007 5:34:03 AM | | I'm finding it really frustrating whith the people who do not reply. As you said it literally taks 2 seconds and it speaks volumes of the type you are. I have had one person reply saying he wasn't interested and I had to reply to him thanksing him for his reply. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 11/18/2007 5:36:33 AM | | I'm finding it really frustrating whith the people who do not reply. As you said it literally taks 2 seconds and it speaks volumes of the type of person you are. I have had one person reply saying he wasn't interested and I had to reply to him thanksing him for his reply. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 11/23/2007 7:06:39 AM | From a male perspective, the only one I can offer, it's quite simple; women get on this site and are inundated by letters from a bunch of lonely, lying, pathetic males and suddenly they think they're hot stuff, really popular because the usual trolls skim them.
They then revert to the highschool life they never had and start acting like the prom queens they never were.
They figure they can pick and choose because everyone wants them so they spend their time reading mail to stroke their fragile and under-developed egos rather than actually answering any.
They're waiting, of course, for the perfect man they're so sure they deserve. A popular girl, afterall, gets the the best guy and by gum they'll wait for his letter.
The same disallusioned women soon have headlines complaining about the lack of honest men.
Suck it up princess. You're a big girl now. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 11/27/2007 12:20:45 PM | | in reply to honestme53 - You hit the nail on the head with the reply problem! I used to reply to every single person. USED to. I finally learned that people SAY they want replies but in reality, what they mean is, they want replies saying "here's my phone # or I'm interested too!" They do NOT want replies that say you aren't interested because what has happened to you is exactly what happens to me. They want to know WHY you don't think they are your match. Well, truth be told, it is because I wasn't attracted to their photo! No one wants to hear that, so you have to just make up something polite and nice but then, they want more detail, or they want to become your email friend now. In my profile, I'm asking people to take a personality test because I'm looking for certain personalities. Well, it amazes me that most couldn't give a crap about that and just want to copy and paste messages to me that they have pasted to 200 girls before me and completely ignore my request that they send me a message that says what type they are, so I USED to message those people back, regardless of photo attractiveness and I would ask: ok, so which personality type are you? and they would even ignore THAT request and just keep emailing me to ask how was my Thanksgiving or that I have a "cute" smile. I have finally learned just not to bother with the replies. People really are not even reading your profile most of the time, nor do they give a crap about what you're looking for. They are out there just hoping that some girl---ANY girl--will respond to their copy and paste messages and whether you respond or not, the outcome is not good from their side--no response and you're deleted off their favorite list -- or -- response and they go back and forth wanting to know why - and you still get deleted off their favorite list eventually anyway. I am very flattered that anyone wants to even take an interest in me enough to take the risk to message me, whether it be copy and paste or not, but at the same time, I also don't have all day to spend on trying to maintain online friendships with people or give them advice on why I didn't like their profile or picture or why I'm not attracted to them, so--I guess I've turned into these people I never wanted to be like -- the ones who read and delete. If only people could just be ok with one nice polite rejection email and move on to the next profile, I and honestme53 would not have to be like this. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 12/3/2007 1:22:24 PM | Whereas I think it's polite to reply to all messages if I can, I don't take it personal if they dont. That in fact, might be saying a lot about that person and do you really want that kind of friends? After all the old saying does have a lot of meaning... there is more fish in the sea. Happy  everyone. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 12/7/2007 10:35:09 AM | | Exactly. I admit that if someone writes me about something i'm looking for (like casual sex or activity partners), I won't reply. Why waste both people's time corresponding and risking the other person getting a false impression that you're interested in what they are looking for, when you truly are not? | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:08:59 AM | Suck it up Princess? You're a big girl now?
So...does that fall under the same category as...Because I am a big girl now and I'm sucking it up??????...I should have SEX with the bunch of lonely...lying...pathetic males?
Myself...I have not reverted to the "high school life"...I do not pick and choose because I think everyone wants me.....I'm not waiting for the perfect man...as neither "male" or "female" is in any way, shape or form "PERFECT"...
Just your all around average woman here who has a "heart"....and treats all individuals the same!
But I'm not looking for the one night "stick it in" and "let it spit" kind of woman....
Some reply...some don't! Oh well....move on, don't take it so personal....it it an online dating site after all.....
Cindy68 | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 2/19/2008 9:41:08 AM | From a female non-princess perspective (I can't speak for the princesses out there), we don't reply because of the volume of mail and some of us don't have hours to spend on the computer or even enjoy doing so.
Another reason we don't reply if we are not princesses is that anyone who puts a one-liner in like "hey sexy" or "hot pics" or something so "stock" and unimaginative is not someone we want to lead on by replying. Non-princesses do not toy with people. That would certainly be the ego trip you are talking about. These initial contacts can also be a put off because it has that "construction worker" on the 15th floor of a building whistling down at you feel...as if they can actually see you. The fact that they can tell that you are a woman from that height is all they seem to need...not very flattering at all from a non-princess point of view.
Non-princesses don't treat on-line dating as a game, they prefer not to waste anyone's time either by enticing someone to contact them with a vague generic profile or by replying to people who don't make the effort to read the profile. And yes, these poor girls risk the chance of being played unfortunately because they are the ones with the open hearts.
peace | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 2/21/2008 5:21:26 PM | | I have not gotten a reply to a letter on this site since . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:46:07 AM |
I have told people I am not interested in them, this almost always generates one of the following replies:
I know a few women on this site who are friends. If they reply not interested, they often receive a nasty email from the guy in return. Any wonder why they don't reply?
Could you imagine that happening in public? You're in line at Starbucks, see a woman you're interested in, walk up and say hi. her response might be to shrug you off and leave. Would you chase her down the street and berate her for "not getting to know you"?
I think I wrote this elsewhere, but I sometimes go out with female friends to pubs, etc. I am pretty surprised at the "in your face" attitude of some dudes. They're extremely persistent & won't go away when turned down. Imagine you're a female...you get all that and the creepers that mail "yo baby, you're hot" or "why won't you reply you bi*ch". You're simply going to STOP replying all together. Just like guys on this site who are decent men simply stop mailing women because they know they won't get a reply. Can you blame them? Of course not...just as you can't blame the women for not replying to the dozen emails they get a day.
And really, if you are a good dude & charming guy, chances are...if you surround yourself with people in real life, you'll find girls. | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:13:23 PM | I can't speak for all woman on this site, but why "I" dont reply....is because I get an abundance of messages, not only from the local area, but other cities and provinces as well. The ratio of men to woman on here is highly out numbered. So, I'm not online all that much and when I check messages I have a lot to reply to. I just dont have the time for all of that. I even go out of my way to mention on my profile that I will not reply to everyone. DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. I have many messages to sift through and with minimal time I can only reply to the ones that catch my eye or I feel I have a reason to reply to.
Saying, "man, ur hot" or "here's my MSN...." and other short and thoughtless messages DEFINATELY wont be responded to. I'm here to meet people I can connect with, NOT to chat and just make small talk with 168 men everyday! You may be a really awesome guy, but If I feel I dont have a connection with you, I wont reply. Even if I send a short reply saying "Sorry, not interested (insert reason here) but thanks for your time and message, good luck" or something to that effect, I just keep getting more messages back and it makes it very diffcult to correspond and reply to the people I would like to know better or already have been communicating with. I dont spend all day on POF waiting for messages nor do I have the time to spend all day on POF replying to people I dont think I have a connection with for whatever reason.
Non replies are not an act of egotism or immaturity or whatever some of you have had to say about it rudely already....It's personal preference and for some, there are many justified reasons why they may not reply. So again. PLEASE DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. :) (and Good Luck ;) ) | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:18:33 PM | | P.S. I also wanted to add that even though you never know if you and a person can connect or not from just a simple profile or a message, I do get lots of mail from guys I think are pretty cool...but again, when you have so many messages and other correspondence going on, you can't possibly have the time to try and get to know EACH and every person who sends you a message and reply to them....You'd be spending HOURS a day on this dating site...I dont mind the internet dating thing so much but if I did have HOURS a day to spend online chatting it up to see If I have connections with every person who did send a message before I wrote them off, I might as well go down to the beach, go downtown, etc, and actually meet people that way and get some sunlight and excercise and live life while I'm at it! :) | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:35:46 AM | | I have to comment on this, as yesterday I was thinking about...why would an adult man, answer in a rude way, when I stated I did not have a picture to send-do people think it is ok to behave with out manners as it is internet dating, or, is this how they behave when they do not get their own way? | |
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| why dont people reply?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:47:08 AM | My good manners make me reply. If indeed there is no spark and someone then starts tormenting me with unwanted questions, I simply email and say this.
" I responded to you so you would not think I was rude. However now you are being quite rude yourself, and I have done nothing to deserve this"
Then I hit block. | |
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